What am I doing wrong? Encouragment/ reminders/ pep talks needed.

[rachieface]

I am just frustrated with my son's sleep habits.  He used to be a GREAT sleeper (one of those mythical babies who slept through the night from months 2-4), but since 4 months old his sleep has gone downhill.  He is almost 7 months now and his sleep is possibly worse than ever.  Better than many babies, but not good (4 wakings a lot of nights).  We don't cosleep at this point.  Doesn't work well for our family.

Anyway, I've heard that sleeping through the night is a developmental milestone, and that makes sense....except that I can't understand why he did that for several months and now only very rarely does so?  I'm sure these are sleep basics, but I want to know so that I can get some peace of mind and stop wondering what I did/didn't do/can do to help him sleep through the night.  He doesn't *seem* to be teething quite yet, he doesn't *seem" to feel ill, he doesn't *seem* to be too hot/too cold/too hungry.  Are there any words of advice you can give me?  Am I doing anything wrong? 

Please just remind me that a) CIO does NOT make every baby a perfect sleeper (not that I would do it anyway...but I just need the encouragement), and b) someday he WILL sleep consistently through the night (or only wake once....ahhhh that would be nice). 

[Super~Single~Mama]

Hugs!!!

So, at 4months, babies get SUPER distracted by the world around them, and so eat less during the day (particularly breastfed babies, b/c eating requires snuggling up to mama and not being able to see the world), and so they make up for it at night.  Is he nursing more at night (you didn't say, just said that he's waking more)?  If so, thats the problem.  If you can make sure he nurses more during the day, by taking him into a dark room, and laying down for a bit, and making sure theres just nothing going on, that will help him nurse more during the day and less at night.

You can also do a search for the 4 month sleep regression - happens to LOTS of mama's on here!  My ds's not so great sleep got worse around that age, and I think thats typical.

Since you asked, No, CIO will not help him to sleep better at night.  CIO will harm his attachment to you though in way's that you don't want, and YES he will sleep better at night some day - even if its a long ways out - its not worth it to do CIO.  CIO only gives short term results anyway, b/c every cold, new tooth, virus, etc, starts the CIO all over again.  (Since you said you aren't going to do it I won't say any more - it didn't sound like you needed tons of convincing!)

Good luck mama, "This too shall pass!"

[kismetbaby]

Hi mama, sending you many hugs and encouraging thoughts!  My son has never STTN, not once in his 14 months of life. . .does that help? LOL  You are not doing anything wrong mama!  You cannot control your childs sleep (believe me I know). You can create a restful, safe sleeping environment, you can create sleep rituals and routines to help them, you can hold them and of course you can avoid CIO (which IMO will only backfire).  But you can't make them STTN if they are not ready.  And I don't care what the "experts" say, 6mo (or whenever they say the magic date is) is still very very little to be STTN!

It is totally normal for babes to go from sleeping well to sleeping. .  .um, less well around 4mo.  And I'm sure you've been waiting and wondering when he'll go back to all the good sleeping since its been months now, but it may take awhile.  So, so many things happen for them from 4m to a year. . .crawling, cruising, walking, talking, etc.  It's totally normal for them to be so engrossed in the world or so distracted by developmental changes that they just can't STTN. They really need that reassurance that all is well and that mom and dad are still there for them during the night.

Hey, at least you had some good rest in the beginning and you know that it's possible!  I would recommend Sleepless in America.  A lot of good info in that book about sleep and creating a safe, restful space for babies/kids.

HTH