Child wonders from my side(PDDNOS)

[davidsmom184]

I went to Disneyland with  DS and my parents.  I went to the bathroom, and when I came out, my parents were talking and DS was not there. Turns out that He had wondered off. We looked for him and looked for him. Thankfully, we found him. Has this happened to you? How do you prevent it?

[HealthHomeHappy]

I have had issues like this with nearly every relative that comes to visit. I don't let my ASD child go with anyone, even family, who has not been around her a lot and I know can have realistic expectations of her.  It offends most people, but it's what I have to do to keep my kid safe.  They can't read her warning signs for when she's going to bolt, they don't anticipate what she's going to do, and oftentimes they're too prideful to admit that they can't handle her so they don't ask for help until it's too late.  

This feeds the cycle of others thinking her issues are because I'm overprotective, and the more they push me to let go, the more I push back and watch them even more carefully because in their drive to 'prove' that I'm overprotective and causing her issues, they'll go against what I ask, which is dangerous for her.

[NataliaI]

My son likes to "go for long walks."  We've discussed numerous times that I need to be told first.

It is very scary the first few times they wander off.  I think the only prevention is constant vigilance.  Eventually though, a bit of letting go is useful too. 

I highly recommend the book Gift of Fear to gain perspective on how to determine what is really dangerous "out there."

[HealthHomeHappy]

I don't really have the ability to 'let go'- she darts into traffic.  That is a good book, but she's not old enough to evaluate who is a risk and who isn't, so it's very important that she stay with someone who can.

[NataliaI]

Originally Posted by HealthHomeHappy 

I don't really have the ability to 'let go'- she darts into traffic.  That is a good book, but she's not old enough to evaluate who is a risk and who isn't, so it's very important that she stay with someone who can.

Of course safety first!  I did not mean in any way to imply that we should not keep our children safe.

My son is 10 and has a decent amount of language, so things have changed a lot over the years.

With young children (SN or NT) we do need to keep them close.  Sorry for the misunderstanding.

Editing to add:  The location is a factor too.  I would not give my child freedom to roam in Disneyland or any big public place. 

[kme]

My son used to "wander" when he was younger.  It happened once at DisneyWorld and once at HersheyPark.  Vigilence is key and we also bought those "Hello, I'm..." type stickers where we wrote down cell phone numbers to call in case he got lost.  We stuck them on the back of his shirt.  We actually did get a phone call at HP.  We didn't put his name on it...my son is verbal and able to communicate well and I didn't want the risk of someone gaining his trust by knowing his name without him telling it.  We also discussed who to find if he got lost...namely, a guard or someone with a name tag who works wherever it is we happened to be.  When he got lost at HP, he found a worker who called us on our phone.