This could just as easily go in Personal Growth because I recognize my role in the issue, but I am looking for parenting strategies. This is so hard to write, but many days, I hate my DS (5). I am mortified by his behavior, and I don't enjoy him as a kid. I can't take him fun places. I can't do fun things with him. He is aggressive and mean. And, because DD (3) is such a follower, she doesn't follow basic rules (like hold my hand, stay with me, no spinning, two feet on the floor/no kicking, inside voices/no screaming, etc) either.
Today I had to register the kids and myself for community center classes. The process is fairly simple, but involves a lottery and waiting in line for 5 or so minutes. DS FREAKED out about every little thing: which color vitamin he got before we left (our rule is you get what you get, you don't have a fit); not drawing the first number in the lottery; having to wait in line; keeping his hands to himself; not starting today the class we were signing up for, etc. He started spinning, kicking out his feet and hurting others. He got mad at me after were were finished because I said that with the bad choices he made we had to go straight home afterwards, and he spit in my face, a typical aggressive response for him. He huffs and sticks out his tongue whenever he doesn't like something. He frequently hits and kicks and hurts others. He is terrible, and nothing seems to work to change his behaviors.
I am out of ideas. I have no reserves. And I don't like him anymore. At all. Help!