I wanted to answer your question. Sometimes dc1 willingly waits his turn. Sometimes he doesn't. If he doesn't I really try distraction and daddy. It's hard for me to tell him no because we have been trying weaning off and on for about a year. Since this post, he has gone from 2/night to 1/night. And approximately 1/day. My dc2 (dd) nurses only slightly more than him, but she is more interested in food than he was at 10 months.
I also agree that a happy mom is a good mom. My son seems to know this intuitively. If I get upset, he comes up and whispers "don't yell" or shhes me. It's great. I calm down. Anyway, I digress.
I should add that it was REALLY hard in the beginning. My dd was hospitalized for RSV and my son went 8 days w/o. (Both kids had it...) The first few days I was so engorged. With dd not feeling well, she wasn't nursing as often, and with a new baby, ds was marathon nursing, so I was engorged. Break out the hospital pump...... When we returned home, ds needed me so bad. I just set him on one side and her on the other, layed his legs on my lap and hers on his. Nursed away. When one fell asleep, dad picked that child up. I laid the other down. Now, ds sits beside me and dd lays sorta on both our laps. When she's older, she'll sit beside me.
I started out planning to nurse ds to 18 months. I got pregnant and we moved at about that time, so I decided not to stress him too much more. The baby was born and a few months later potty training. I figured 30 mo. Didn't happen. I HOPE for 3 yrs. We talk about when he will stop the nanas. I think he might think that if he stops, he won't speed as much time with me. So, I try to spend alot of other time with him. He co-sleeps with me and dd (one on each side). We have our own games and songs. So, I really hope he does wean soon. Any thoughts? I'm not sure if I would tandem again. But I don't regret it with this child. He has really needed that time with me. I do feel like I am shorting my dd but I think I would feel that way no matter the nursing relationship.
It's just how our family works for now. Most days I love it. Some days not so much.
Oh, and one more thing, my dd cries with my dh too. If she needs mommy she gets me. My ds can understand that. So, if dd needs my undivided attention, ds goes to daddy if he needs attention. Or, sometimes ds tries to help with dd.
Our first few months were hard because of the hospitalization and other people telling me I needed to stop and threatening me with CPS and other issues that were going on. The only thing I found comfort in was knowing that my kids were connected to me and each other. There have been tears shed by all 3 of us but I think more would have been shed if ds had been weaned too early.
PS I hope I didn't ramble too much. lol
I do find it remarkable that your children are so well-connected. So far (and it's only been 10 weeks!) DS1 is very connected to DS2 as well. He asks to hold him, shows him toys, and shows him off to his friends and family as "my baby." I do believe this relationship will continue. The jealousy has to do with my attention being diverted away from him, like when he wants to play but the baby is crying. That's when I hear, "I don't want you to hold the baby." Are you able to easily convince your DC1 to put off his needs for DC2? For us, he definitely feels the diversion of attention. It doesn't help that all baby does with DH is cry, so I am the only one who can soothe him (and yes, he often cries with him for an hour at a time, but we keep trying).
Anyway, Treece, I truly admire that you are able to continue tandem nursing for your children. I know it's not easy!! I'm glad it's working well for your family.