Sharing a room - pros and cons

[busymama77]

Okay, mamas, I need to hear the pros and cons of sharing a room before we start moving things around and painting.

We live in a 4 bedroom house and both boys currently have their own rooms.  The 4th bedroom is a guest/office for DH.  At first, we were going to remove the guest bed since it's hardly ever used and put the boys toys in there - not enough room.  So, I thought about combining the rooms, spoke to DS1 about it and he seems to be on bored.  We drew a picture of what it would look like, he had his own input, etc.,  He'll be 5 soon and DS2 is almost 9 months.  DS2 STTN and DS1 is a very sound sleeper - except for storms, of course.

So, if your LO's share a room currently, how is it working out?  Was it a nightmare in the beginning or better than you thought?  How old are your LO's and how long have they shared a room or will share a room?  I don't see this lasting for very long - until we finish our basement - in a couple to three or four years and the boys move their toys down there. 

Would love to hear the pros and cons before DH and I start moving things around, painting and getting it all set up. Would like to make this transition happen before Christmas. 

[swede]

I have three kids - the baby sleeps with us and the two boys share a room.  We have a four bedroom house.   the older two are 11 and 7.  I wish we were having another baby, for lots of reasons, but a one reason is because I don't feel children should have their own rooms.  JMO - but I think it's sort of crazy for kids to have their own rooms (the parents don't) and it gives them a false sense of entitlement.  It has never been a problem for us.  Most of the world shares sleeping space - I think it is good for kids and encourages closeness.  Good luck!

[Owen'nZoe]

I have 2 boys, ages 6 and 4, in a room together. They've been together since DS2 moved out of our room about 2 years ago. Sometimes I think it would be easier to have them in 2 rooms, but for the most part, I think it has worked out well. We do have another bedroom we could move one into if it ever weren't working, but that is our office, and we really need that office space.

Pros

- The boys generally like sharing a room

- I think it was easier for the youngest to move from co-sleeping to sleeping with his brother than it would have been to move into his own room

- Usually they go right to sleep, but sometimes they chat a little bit before bed - it is really cute to listen to their nighttime conversations!

- They have a large closet, so half is used for clothes and the other half is ceiling to floor shelves for toys. It is nice having all the toys housed in one room.

- This may change as they get older, but for now, I think cleanup time is easier this way. I can be in the room with both of them as they clean up their room. If they were in separate rooms, I'd be running between the two rooms, trying to help guide them. They also tend to negotiate cleaning duties with one another, which I think is great!

- I don't know how your boys are, but mine are carpet-destroyers. We have a no-food-out-of-the-kitchen rule, but I still find food stuck to the carpet, or paint, or silly putty, or ??? I'm hoping when all is said and done, I'll only have to replace the carpet in 1 bedroom instead of two. ;)

- Bedtime story time is simple with two kids in a room - one parent can read to both kids in their own room at the same time.

Cons

- If one is having a rough night, he'll keep the other one up. We end up sending DS1 to our room to sleep sometimes, because DS2 is having a tantrum and keeping him up. This is happening less as he gets older, thank goodness.

- DS1 and DS2 have different schedules during the school year. DS1 needs to be up about an hour earlier than DS2. It is tricky waking DS1 without waking DS2 (and having DS2 up early makes it hard to get out the door in time for the bus). I'd like to start getting DS1 used to an alarm clock, but we can't really do it, because it would wake both boys.

- On the rare occasion that one goes to bed unusually early, the other one doesn't really have access to his toys. It sounds like you'll have toys in a separate room though, so this will be a moot point.

I grew up sharing rooms with my sisters (out of necessity - big family :)), and though I complained about it at the time, I'm grateful for all of the quality time I had with my sisters. You can do a lot of bonding sharing the same room!

[AllisonR]

Hi OP:

I have a 6yo DS and a 4yo DD. They have been sleeping in a big queen bed together for 2 years. 

Pros:

They were always close, but I noticed a marked tenderness after they started sharing a room together. Like parents, it's hard to go to bed angry at one another. So you don't; you make up.

If DD woke in the night, DS would come in to tell us she needed to pee or was scared or whatever. I think he enjoyed taking care of his little sister. Now that she is older we told her to stop waking DS, to take care of herself, and she does. 

On weekends they can gently wake each other up at their own pace. They are always so gentle and sweet with each other and we can hear them talking in stage whispers before they head downstairs.

Bedtime routine is MUCH more convenient for DH and myself, and we get more quality time with both of them. It's the "2 for 1 special." Before I had to put DD to sleep, DH had to put DS to sleep, then we would have to come down and make the lunches for the next day. Repeat daily. Now one of us reads with them and one makes lunches and then gets time for ourselves. And I think because it is not 100% every single day the exact same thing, we really enjoy the bedtime routine more. There is no rushing through bath or teeth or a cosy bedtime story or two. 

Because the big bed and dresser and bookcase take up most of the room in the bedroom, there is no extra toys and junk around for them to get distracted with at bedtime. The bedroom is used for sleeping only, which gives it a very relaxing, wind-down feel. 

We still have DDs room, which is never used. But on rare occasions she says she will go in there and sleep by herself. She does - for about 5 minutes, then comes back in with us. I figure she will do this more and more as she gets older, but it will be at her pace. So eventually they will be in their own rooms, but it will come naturally, at their speed.  

Cons:

About 2 days a week DD is a little overtired and grumpy before bed and DS is turning in bed, not quite ready to go to sleep. So we cheat and she gets not quite enough sleep and DS gets a bit too much. But it's been minor. On rare occasions DS was not tired at all, so we let him come back downstairs after bedtime routine for a half hour. But now that he has started school this has not happened at all. 

Lightning McQueen duvet and curtains don't match very well with pink princess duvet and pillow.