Uh.......big hugs for you. Living without sleep is really, really hard. I think some sleep deprivation comes with the territory of motherhood but there is a limit to how much one person can take. I don't think it's normal to not sleep properly for years. I know I am particularly sensitive to lack of sleep and if I get too deprived it really starts to effect me negatively......I get depressed, my anxiety sky rockets, I'm irritable, etc, etc, etc. My first time around I was very lucky and my DD slept really well, really early. This time around I think I'm doing okay but it's still very hard for me. My DD is 4 months old and still gets up a lot to eat at night........probably every 2-3 hours or more on a bad night. I'm at the point where I don't think I can have more kids because I struggle with the sleep thing so much. DH is having a hard time too. I guess that was just my long, jumbled way of saying I sympathize.......it sounds like you are getting much less sleep then me too. I don't have a lot of advice, just best wishes for you. Â
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- Tattooed Hand
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I would agree with TattooedHand. Â With the crappy naps my DD takes, her critical bedtime is 6pm. Â I also try to avoid having her nap past 4pm at the latest, preferably 3:30. Â I find that if I let her nap later, she is more difficult to put down for the night and tends to have more night wakings. Â Since nighttime sleep is more restorative than day sleep, I would rather she just go down for a super EBT. I've put her down at 4:45 more times than I care to admit, but that has worked better for us than trying to get in another crappy nap. I'm sorry you're having such a rough time-I hope it gets better!
- fullofhope08
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Another sympathizer here...My DS is 6 months old. about a month and a half ago, his sleep changed to this same pattern - awake every 1-2 hours all night. so we've gone from waking up 2-3 times a night to 4-5 times. It's rough!
My little guy's naps have improved in recent weeks - longer naps. But it hasn't improved his nighttime sleep. I have a copy of the No-Cry Sleep Solution on its way in the mail and I'm really hoping it makes a difference for us. If I had to guess why he's in this pattern, my theory at this point is that I have enabled this pattern. We co-sleep. When DS would stir, I would interpret it as a need to eat and would feed him right away so that he wouldn't get upset and cry. I think what has happened is that rather than get used to settling himself back to sleep during these partial wake ups, I've enabled him to become accustomed to the breast to return to sleep. So we need to work on this, and I'm hoping the no-cry book has some solutions! My DS has also been teething off and on since this all started - no teeth yet. So I'm assuming that had something to do with it.
I do hope we can all find solutions that work for our little ones soon enough! sleep deprivation isn't fun.
- tanyalynn
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I'm usually just a lurker but I could use some advice on what to do. I'm starting to lose my mind! DD is 7 months, and has always been a bad sleeper, but recently started waking hourly. She goes right back to sleep if I nurse her, but it's still super frustrating. Nothing really makes her calm other than boob. It makes it so I have NEVER gone out with DH alone since she was born. She doesn't do this in the day, and she takes 2 naps that usually last a couple hours each. I have no idea what to do. We do co-sleep, but she stays in the co-sleeper at the start of the night before I go into the bedroom with her. She wakes regardless if I'm there or not. She used to sleep 3-4 hours at a time and that was bearable. Could it be teething (even though she's been teething for a couple months already?) Or maybe a growth spurt? Any suggestions?
Sleeping issues for my kids have always had physical causes. Chiropractic visits helped my son--or cranial sacral if you can find someone who does that, eliminating some foods would've helped my daughter but I didn't twig to that til she was 3.5 yo (and they helped with stuff then), magnesium helped DD with falling asleep as a toddler, but that's not so much a frequent-waking thing. And a couple other odd things helped DS, but those are more specific to our health situation. So chiro and/or food elimination would be the things I'd try, maybe even just start with an infant probiotic (easier and cheaper than the other two). When my kids felt good, physically, they slept better, and vice versa.Â
- McGucks
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I have an 8 month old who has never been a terrific sleeper. Recently, he's up every two hours or more at night, taking a couple hour or 45 minute naps during the day...or 20 minutes (especially if I do not lay down with him). I have heard that, as a previous respondent said, milestone can mess with sleep. One example I have heard was crawling--that once the baby learns how to crawl or is on the verge of it, their bodies are kind of biologically compelled to practice. My son has been waking up from crawling into the wall (we co-sleep). I am afraid to put a pillow between his head and the wall since I worry he will suffocate. The sleep thing is very, very hard, I think. There are no perfect solutions, and sometimes you can only take care of yourself differently or better since the baby is only doing what he or she can. The things I have done included making sure I have water and a snack next to the bed, going to sleep earlier, trying to not care about tidying the house and instead taking naps with him during the day when I can, and just talking to my husband about it. With my first son, who is now 15 but also was a not great sleeper, I read books to try to figure out what to do. I only finished them feeling like a failure, so now I don't bother. I do what I can and what seems right, which is to care for him the best I can and not doubt myself too much. It is all a challenge. When I am feeling desperate, I think this: if something horrible happened and our baby was no longer with us, I am sure I would do anything to get those nights back--even if he was up a whole lot. Kind of a dark thought, I know, but it does help sometimes. Good luck, and like with much of parenting, remember the "this too shall pass" mantra.
I just wanted to update and say that I might have figured out why DD is sleeping way less lately...I just saw her 2nd tooth pushing though AND found her trying to pull up out of the bassinet where she sleeps for naps. So more teething and she will be crawling any day now. Plus, I've noticed that she is getting longer every day, can't barely keep her in pants anymore. Even if she's not sleeping better, it's at least comforting to know the reasons.
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