Please help me with time management!!!!

[Debobu]

HI,

I am a disorganized person by nature and now that my son is 2 I am feeling like my life is in chaos and anxious all the time.

I feel that I spend a lot of my day literally running from one task to the next and not having enough quality time with my son.

We do go to the park or an outing at least once a day but when I am at home I am constantly trying to do things to get through the day and then feel bad I don't play as much with my son.

In addition, I am exhausted all the time and feeling like I have no patience lately and get upset easily.

My son still nurses at night a lot and I am very sleep deprived :-(

Food preparation is a big issue. I am spent by the end of the day and just want to eat and sleep myself so I end up cooking either when my son is awake (which is impossible and aggravating to me) or when he naps so I don't get a brake at all!!!

Partly I think we need to have more of a structure to our days-more routines so that I could feel more relaxed and have more time with my son and to myself but I am sooo exhausted I don't even know where to begin...

I also feel like I need to Night wean him but it seems like such a big project!!!

Sorry I am all over the place!

Thanks for listening ;-)

[MrsBone]

Well, since you only have one kiddo, I would suggest taking a nap with him. Even a 20 minute power nap when you are sleep deprived can do wonders! Also, if you are really tired of being sleep deprived, you might have to endure it a little more and night-wean him. I know it's easier said than done, and it took me getting pregnant and my milk drying up to successfully do it. I know how it feels to try and get something accomplished during the day when you are exhausted.. it's almost impossible. So yeah, as long as you only have one kid, sleep when he sleeps! That will help a ton!

[MrsBone]

also, do you co-sleep? If you aren't ready to nightwean, you could take him in your bed with you and nurse him when he wakes and pass back out..I used to fall back asleep while DS was nursing. It made my nights of waking 5-6 times to nurse much more bearable.

[HappyMommy2]

Yes, nightweaning sounds like it would help.  You can find lots of MDC advice for doing that.  With my DD, I totally dreaded it, but it was WAY easier than I thought!  She was (and is) a total milk fiend!!  She slept with me, so I just said that we weren't having milkies anymore until the sunshine came up, but I would cuddle with her instead.  We cuddled real close, and there were tears for 2 nights.  But it was so worth it!  The tears didn't last long, she fell asleep quickly in my arms.

Also - figure out what type of days work best for you and your little one.  And then repeat it!

I figured out that if we were out of the house by 9 am, we had a MUCH better day.  I would pack snacks & drinks the night before, and have the day's destination already decided.  If we stay around the house, it just drags out and we all get cranky and watch too much TV.  I bought a "reciprocal" museum pass that is good for several nearby kids museums.  Also - a couple museums are 45 minutes away, but having the kids strapped in their carseats is a break for mom!!  This one is worth it for me, b/c it is next door to a drive-thru starbucks!  I treat myself every once in a while, when I am feeling worn down.  And BONUS - I don't have to get the kids out of the carseat!  I also bought a pass at a nearby play place, so we could often go there too.  Many nearby malls have free play spaces, which are also excellent.

After 1-2 hours out of the house, we would come home, have lunch, and nap together.  When we woke up, it was time for dishes and dinner-making.

Once you identify which days/activities work for you, you will find your groove!

[JamieB]

Originally Posted by Debobu 

HI,

I am a disorganized person by nature and now that my son is 2 I am feeling like my life is in chaos and anxious all the time.

I feel that I spend a lot of my day literally running from one task to the next and not having enough quality time with my son.

We do go to the park or an outing at least once a day but when I am at home I am constantly trying to do things to get through the day and then feel bad I don't play as much with my son.

In addition, I am exhausted all the time and feeling like I have no patience lately and get upset easily.

My son still nurses at night a lot and I am very sleep deprived :-(

Food preparation is a big issue. I am spent by the end of the day and just want to eat and sleep myself so I end up cooking either when my son is awake (which is impossible and aggravating to me) or when he naps so I don't get a brake at all!!!

Partly I think we need to have more of a structure to our days-more routines so that I could feel more relaxed and have more time with my son and to myself but I am sooo exhausted I don't even know where to begin...

I also feel like I need to Night wean him but it seems like such a big project!!!

Sorry I am all over the place!

Thanks for listening ;-)

It can be so hard can't it?  There are definitely things you can do to make it easier though.  Can you use a slow cooker?  Take a couple minutes in the morning while DS is having his breakfast and get a slow cooker meal ready.  Do you have a partner?  Is so and he is home at a reasonable time can he entertain your son while you cook and then clean up after supper?  This is how my DH and I do it.  Or you could spend time together WHILE you cook.  Let him take every single thing out of that drawer or cupboard and tell him some great stories about them.  Just takes couple minutes to clean up after.  Maybe put some water in the sink pull up a chair for him.  Could he sit at the table with a snack while you cook?  Maybe a special toy that will keep him interested? 

What other tasks do yo find yourself doing during the day?  I find if I devote half of their nap time twice a week to bathrooms and floors, do a load of laundry every other day and clean my kitchen as I use it I can stay on top of things.  Picking up toys just takes a couple minutes each time you leave the house or nap/sleep.

Does your son go to bed before you?  Does he nap without you?  I can't help with night weaning but I hope you have some success. 

[Debobu]

Thanks!

Yes, My DH often hangs out with my DS in the am so I start cooking then.....still, I end up spending too may of his naps cooking and don't rest myself.

My son is quite demanding of me and it is dificult to entertain him while I cook- he wants me to pick him up and I can't do it while I cook.....I agree- hte worst time for my son is in the evening when he is tired and hungry-that's when he becomes demanding of me. Part of the problem is that he is curious of what I am doing and wants to see- so I need to get some sort of contraption so he can safely stand next to me and see what I am doing......

I think maybe things are not so bad but everything is amplified because I am so exhausted and sleep deprived...

Thanks again

d

[cyclamen]

It's hard to do, but if he naps, try to nap with him.  I'm usually trying to do something, but I should be sleeping when my LO naps.  Also do you have something like an Ergo?  Maybe he can be on your back while you cook?  Or can he stand on a chair and watch?  My DD likes to watch me cook. 

Or, can you give him a tub of water to play in on the kitchen floor?

I also struggle with time management (obviously... here i am posting at 3AM after just completing my wahm tasks) but I try to have a loose idea of simple make ahead meals I can cook through out the week, lots of stuff like roasts and veggies with planned leftovers, soups, and fruit.  So I try to only cook once a day or less and reheat the rest of the time.  I try to only have one major task a day, whether it's "Call about insurance" - "do laundry" - "go to market" - "go to playgroup."   Any one of those is my one task and if we complete it, it is a successful day.  If I get more than that done, it is a bonus and I am super efficient that day. 

I do like to do the dishes after each meal so they don't pile up.  And I sweep in the morning and make the bed.  And we tidy up after toys.  But that's about it.  It still feels like we are constantly cleaning up after ourselves, but hey, that's life.

I think Jay Gorden has nightweaning suggestions.  Good luck with that, mama, that is hard to do, but it sounds like it would help you get more rest.