Do you give people the benefit of the doubt in front of your kids? - Page 2

[lilyka]

I give people the benefit of the doubt.  period.  Regardless of if my children are with me.  I do not act any differently for the benefit of my children than I would if they were not around.

[ICU2]

I think it depends on the situation.

My dd and I were approached one chilly evening by a woman needing a ride. She had this long story about needing to pick up her kid but didn't want to use my phone to call the sitter to say what was happening. A few minutes before she approached us I saw her talking with a group of young guys and it looked like she was laughing and joking with them. I got the feeling maybe the guys were going to be in another car following us to her "babysitters" house and something bad would happen. I refused. Dd asked me why we didn't help that lady and I told her that sometimes people don't have good intentions and told lies to get you to do something for them and that I did not have a good feeling about that lady. It was kind of hard for her to grasp at that time but now I have known her to change directions while riding her bike because she saw someone that made her feel "off".

[Latte Mama]

I will not give cash to anyone with very rare exceptions.  The other day at the supermarket out in the parking lot, an elderly woman asked me for 50 cents so she could have enough for bus fare.  I gave it to her.  She had 2 shopping bags so I believed that she honestly ran out of money.

I've heard the gas scam so many times before.  Once though, I was actually filling my car at a gas station and a guy and his buddy pushed his car in to the pump next to mine.  He was embarassed to ask me could I put a couple of dollars of gas in his car as he was dead broke.  I did it, no biggie.  I've also always given food to anyone that claims they are hungry. 

There are homeless guys that hang out on the George Washington Bridge here in NY and panhandle.  I used to travel over it everyday and one of the guys had the cutest little kitty that would be perched on his shoulder.  When traffic was bad and at a standstill, the guys would panhandle to the cars.  I started bringing cat food and giving it to the guy that had the kitty.  He was so appreciative.  I also brought him a little snack too.

I'm a sucker for animals.

I guess that I want to teach my DS to be empathetic and cautious at the same time.

[mattemma04]

I would not give. I suppose I have read to many  stories of women being attacked. I would get in my car fast,or get into a store. I will never open the door for anyone I am not expecting. People have cell phones to call others for help. Before I had a cell and broke down on the highway I decline help until an officer arrived to call a tow.Now I have my cell and make sure it is charged before I leave for the day.

My dh often gets approached as a OTR driver.He will not give cash,but he often offers to buy a person a meal.I don't think anyone has taken him up on it. He has also been beaten and robbed 2 times.You just never know what the person approaching you will do.

[SubliminalDarkness]

Sorry, I wouldn't have. Kids with me or not, I don't appreciate being taken advantage of. And I don't want my kids to learn to allow that, either. 

[NiteNicole]

I think you have to teach your kids a lot of things and sometimes those things can seem contradictory.  I need to teach my daughter that there are people in need and it's often up to the rest of us to help them out.  I also need to teach her to use her head and be safe.  I have had a few bad experiences with people asking for money then blocking my car, crowding me, etc.  I am probably not going to give to someone on the street or stick around long enough for some long drawn out story.  It feels unsafe to me and in my experience, it can BE unsafe.  What I can do is teach my daughter that we support groups that provide support as best we can and as our budget allows.  I will sometimes give money to people at intersections, esp if they have a "homeless vet" sign because for whatever reason, that is my weak spot and I can hand someone the money and keep rolling, so it seems safer (also, does anyone know why I can't make paragraphs or go back and edit?  this is a pain!).

[goldenwillow]

Originally Posted by mtiger 

Lying or not, he was in need. Well done. I'd have done the same. And have.

I recently was visiting the boy, and was approached by someone on the train platform asking for money. I literally had just enough for my fare, which I told her. She was fine, and moved on.

The following week, I was visiting him for a different event, and who should approach me on the street. I had cash, so I gave her some. Was I scammed? Probably. Such is life.

Agreed.  I prefer to believe my gut.  If my gut says "no problem" I do it, if I can.  People have needs for whatever reason and it all comes back around. 
 

[Boot]

Thanks for all the replies. On reflection, I feel fine with giving him the money. I don't think I would have pulled out my wallet though. My eldest is only 3 but I will think about how to speak to him about these things in the future.