helping 6yo with social skills

[Prairiemother]

My dd is having trouble with girls in her class who are excluding her from their play. She says she has no friends, and I get the impression that she is playing alone, which makes me very sad.  She is a sweet girl but not very interested in girly stuff, plus she is shy.  I would like some ideas about books or other resources so I can help her develop better social skills.  I was very shy and lonely in school as a child and I don't want her to feel the same way.

Edited by Prairiemother - 11/23/10 at 10:27pm

[nathansmum]

I chanced upon this book at our library, and it has some good strategies for parents to help kids figure out friendships. The book identifies a handful of "personality" types and the typical things that trip up each type along with all the good things that each type brings to a friendship, provides strategies that the parent/child can work on together at home, and suggestions for the child when socilising.

The Unwritten Rules of Friendship: Simple Strategies to Help Your Child Make Friends

By Natalie Madorsky Elman, Ph.D., Eileen Kennedy-Moore, Ph.D.

 

HTH

[Prairiemother]

Thank you!  That sounds exactly what I'm looking for.  I will definitely check it out.

Gotta love those chance finds at the library.   That's how I got into the whole co-sleeping business - I just happened to flip open the Baby Book by Sears while I was waiting for a friend.  And I'm every so happy I did!

[K1329]

I would definitely make an appointment to meet with her teacher. I was concerned once when my dd went said something similar and found her teacher to be a great resource - she alleviated some of my worries - dd wasn't struggling socially as much as I imagined, and also I felt much better making her aware of the situation. Hopefully, her teacher is approachable (I realize some are not) and will help you and your dd with this issue.

I would also try to set  up a few playdates outside of school with other girls your dd might mention, or, attend any birthday party invites that come from the school group. Is there a girl scout group or after school club she could join to interact with some of the kids outside of the school setting? I also like the above posters suggestion - try to read up on giving your dd the tools to make friends, too.

[Prairiemother]

This is a good idea.  We did meet with the teacher today at an informal sort of sharing day.  She did make me feel a little better about the situation.  We do want to have play dates but it has been somewhat hard to arrange because I don't know the other parents and I WOM 3 days a week so I don't get to see them very often.  But I am going to make renewed effort to do so!  Thank you.  I appreciate the suggestions.

[jeteaa]

Todays classrooms are not the ideal place for quality socialization. For my girls, they are in a camp fire club were they learn leadership skills and gain self confidence. We do play dates where I or the other parents can help guide them in social skills. I think you should focus on teacher her skills that she can apply to the classroom when needed.

[Prairiemother]

I think you're right!

[rainbringer]

I am reading Little Girls Can Be Mean by Michelle Anthony and Reyna Lindert - some good ideas so far, about helping girls deal with exclusion.

[Prairiemother]

Thank you.  I'll look for this book, too.

I'm a bit of an odd duck myself, which is why I think I need the suggestions   I don't really connect with a lot of women - or I don't share the same interests as a lot of women I know - so it's a bit of an effort to model being good at social skills.  I try!  I was raised in a not-very-social household, and sometimes it's easy to fall back into a pattern.