How to get child to lower voice

[khaoskat]

DS2 has speech delays, but he always has issues with talking in a normal conversational loudness.  I can almost always hear his conversations from rooms away, but he is worse when he wants something.  When he wants something, he just gets even louder, to where you cannot even hear the TV or anyone else over him.

I have tried hundreds of times telling him he is being too loud, that we are right next to him, or that he is right behind us in the car.  But it does not work.  There are times where he is fine and talks in normal level, but there are times especially lately, where he is so loud he hurts my ears when he is in the same room as me.

We also have a diagnosis of sensory integration issues...but no services for it...

[Lollybrat]

How old is your son? Does he understand numbers, specifically the sequence of 1-5 and the idea that 2 is more than 1 but less than 3, etc?

My son (age 6 with ASD) has volume issues too, We have had a lot of success using the Incredible 5 Point Scale method with him. The first scale we ever set up for him was "DS's Voice Scale" and his goes like this:

5  Screaming: Emergencies Only

4  Loud Voice: Playgroud, Recess, Park

3  Talking Voice: Home, Store

2  Whisper: Library, Church

1  No Talking: Quiet Time, Somebody Else is Talking

We have these printed up in various sizes: pocket size for DH and I to carry, larger size to hang on the walls at home, medium size for his teachers to use at school. It took a while for DS to get it, but after we practiced a bit, it "clicked" for him. Currently, when DS gets too loud, I will tell him something like, "We are indoors. Use your Number 3 Voice, please," and DS will adjust his volume. DS is also learning to recognize his currentl volume and whether or not it matches the situation. I will ask him, "What number voice are you using? Where are we? What number voice should you be using?" Through this method, DS is learning to regulate his own volume.

It's not a quick fix; it's a learning process. But we are having a lot of success with it at home, at school, and out in the community.

http://www.5pointscale.com/ 

http://www.amazon.com/Incredible-Assisting-Understanding-Interactions-Controlling/dp/1931282528 

[anj_rn]

I would also suggest having his ears checked and relaying the volume issue to your pediatrician.  I have horrible allergies, and when they are bothering me, my ears get a full feeling and make everything (especially me) sound quiet.  I just do not hear how lod I am.

[sapphire_chan]

Originally Posted by Lollybrat What number voice are you using? Where are we? What number voice should you be using?" Through this method, DS is learning to regulate his own volume.

Do you also ask him when his volume is accurate?

[Lollybrat]

Originally Posted by sapphire_chan 

Originally Posted by Lollybrat What number voice are you using? Where are we? What number voice should you be using?" Through this method, DS is learning to regulate his own volume.

Do you also ask him when his volume is accurate?

Yes, we do. Thanks for asking. We also do other excercises such as asking him what voice other people are using (and if it is the voice they should be using), what voice story characters are using, etc. I meant my post to be quick outline of how we address the issue, rather than a detailed description of our entire program.

[sapphire_chan]

Originally Posted by Lollybrat 

Originally Posted by sapphire_chan 

Originally Posted by Lollybrat What number voice are you using? Where are we? What number voice should you be using?" Through this method, DS is learning to regulate his own volume.

Do you also ask him when his volume is accurate?

Yes, we do. Thanks for asking. We also do other excercises such as asking him what voice other people are using (and if it is the voice they should be using), what voice story characters are using, etc. I meant my post to be quick outline of how we address the issue, rather than a detailed description of our entire program.

Sorry, when I read that sort of thing, I start thinking about how I'd use it. And the only thing that came to mind was asking when he's using the right volume. So I asked about that, because I figured you had done it and would tell me if it was a good thing you kept doing or a bad thing that you stopped doing.

Thank you very much for sharing the other clever things you do. I never would've thought of discussing how loud other people are and it's brilliant.

[beachcomber]

I agree with the PP who suggested hearing testing. He may have a blockage or hearing problem preventing him from hearing himself. Also, how old is your child? My DD who is almost 5 is still struggling with appropriate volume. Especially when she gets upset, excited, etc. We talk about the difference between our inside and outside voices and I've made it a habit to have her throw her outside voice out into the trees before she comes in. It helps sometimes. But it can be really hard for some kids to moderate their volume at a young age.

[Casha'sMommy]

I'm going to have to pop in here and also suggest testing. It's difficult, I know but it seems you're at a point where you don't have much choice. Once you have testing done, if there is a dx feel free to pm me and I am certain I'd have lots of resources for you.

To answer your immediate question, we tell dd to "fix her voice" when she gets a little loud or when she isn't annunciating well.

GL

[challengedbaby]

yes I agree hearing test is very important to determine if your child is sensitive or desensitive to sound, if the test results come back normal then I find that answering children in a much lower voice and playing sound games with him will help to determine if your child understands loud and soft sounds and its importance to communicate. One organization that helped me tremendously was Natthan.com- there have TONS of info on how to help you to teach your child to develop as well as they can.

[PikkuMyy]

I have that same issue. I simply cannot hear the volume of my voice. But I can pay attention to how my throat feels when I talk if I'm paying attention. I think Lollybrat's program is wonderful and I'd definitely use it if I had students with that issue. Usually my students need help projecting rather than talking more quietly.

[khaoskat]

I will try to the number suggestion thing.

We have had a hearing test done recently, on recommendation of the Developmental Ped because of this and it comes back normal.

This has been an on going issue with him for years.  I always try to work on them from a young age (don't expect perfection), so that they learn what is acceptable, as my husband's side of the family are all VERY VERY VERY Loud.

He is my hardest child right now behavior wise.  We are trying to get his behavior under control through getting his sleep (or rather lack thereof) under control.  Sleep study shows RLS and limb movement.  Blood testing shows low serum iron levels, about 1/2 of what they should be.  We have been on iron suppliments for about 2 months now.

[Kristine233]

If he has sensory issues he may not even realize he is being that loud, if that's the case he may totally understand how loud he should be but not realizing that he is being loud to begin with. Verbal stimming is similar as far as noise being produce but the child doesn't even realize they are doing it. In this case I would work out visual cues that you can do that would alert him to his noise level. Talk about loud vs inside voice and come up with either a visual signal or key word that can be used when its happening. Then when it happens you can say or do it without making a big deal, they wont feel like they just been shunned either. If the child doesn't realize they re being so loud because they have a sensory processing issue, then they may feel badly or embarrassed about it when it's pointed out and they are put through yet another explanation. Sometimes simply brining their attention to it is enough and redirected. It'll be done a lot, and IMO probably won't be something you say a few times and is gone. Most likely they aren't doing it to be defiant, just simply haven't developed the self control or self awareness yet.

None of my kiddos would have slowed down long enough to think about numbers or other more than one step explanations. (and I have 2 loud kids, lol)
Good luck mama, I hope you are able to find something that works! Coming from a loud house myself I totally understand the frustration. I eventually became kinda immune to the noise and as they got older and had more self awareness it got better. I still have days where I want to just find a quiet closet and hide, but now simple cues and they usually realize they need to turn it down a bit. Lol

[Casha'sMommy]

Originally Posted by khaoskat 

I will try to the number suggestion thing.

We have had a hearing test done recently, on recommendation of the Developmental Ped because of this and it comes back normal.

This has been an on going issue with him for years.  I always try to work on them from a young age (don't expect perfection), so that they learn what is acceptable, as my husband's side of the family are all VERY VERY VERY Loud.

He is my hardest child right now behavior wise.  We are trying to get his behavior under control through getting his sleep (or rather lack thereof) under control.  Sleep study shows RLS and limb movement.  Blood testing shows low serum iron levels, about 1/2 of what they should be.  We have been on iron suppliments for about 2 months now.

How old is your ds?

There are forms of hearing loss that can fool some hearing tests. You might consider checking into whether or not all possible testing has been done.

Assuming he has typical hearing, I think you've gotten really great suggestions here. I was thinking, have you brought this to his attention? For instance, when we noticed dd having some issues annunciating or her voice gets a little loud we tell her to "fix her voice" and do so everytime there's a need. This has really helped dd become more aware of it herself and I find we mention it less and less.

GL