DD's Friend Hung himself.

[chiromamma]

I am feeling my own terror, sadness,grief and rage over this heartbreaking tragedy.

My main challenge is how to support my daughter.

He was 16. Someone she dated briefly in middle school. They attended some wilderness/warrior camps together over the years.

She attended the memorial service with a friend of our family who runs these camps.

Not sure where to go from here. She's deeply affected. Thoughts?

[raelize]

get her to a grief counsler, especially one who deals with suicide and/or young people.  i would call your  local outreach/crisis center they should have names.

normally i would suggest going to a suicide support group, but most of those groups are filled with family members, parents, most of whom are much older than your dd.  she may feel out of place. 

check out the american foundation for suicide prevention's website.  they may have some info.

[MamaOutThere]

Hi,

Recently, a boy at my daughter's school shot himself.  My dd is 10 and she knew the boy casually.  He had been quite nice to her when she's was in a moment of really doubting herself.  I gave her these questions and she was very surprised at how much they mirrored her thoughts, even at only 10.

" Sometimes I find myself imagining that if these things were different, your death might not have really happened. "

" I can physically feel the pain of your death, and this is where and how I feel it in my body. "

" Here is a drawing of what my pain looks like…"

" This is what I would write on your tombstone so that everyone who would read it would have an idea of the person you were. "

" I often wear a mask to hide what I am really feeling. I do this because…"

" Late at night, when the world is asleep, I am awake thinking about…"

" Music helps release feelings; here are some songs/lyrics that mean a lot to me. "

" A poem that I wrote (or is special)… "

" I think about the meaning of life. Why people die when they do…"
 

These questions helped her move out of a very "stuck" feeling.