Recently, a boy at my daughter's school shot himself. My dd is 10 and she knew the boy casually. He had been quite nice to her when she's was in a moment of really doubting herself. I gave her these questions and she was very surprised at how much they mirrored her thoughts, even at only 10.
" Sometimes I find myself imagining that if these things were different, your death might not have really happened. "
" I can physically feel the pain of your death, and this is where and how I feel it in my body. "
" Here is a drawing of what my pain looks like…"
" This is what I would write on your tombstone so that everyone who would read it would have an idea of the person you were. "
" I often wear a mask to hide what I am really feeling. I do this because…"
" Late at night, when the world is asleep, I am awake thinking about…"
" Music helps release feelings; here are some songs/lyrics that mean a lot to me. "
" A poem that I wrote (or is special)… "
" I think about the meaning of life. Why people die when they do…"
These questions helped her move out of a very "stuck" feeling.