Simply can't decide if school or homeschooling would be better - long and confusing (sorry)

[elus0814]

I don't know any homeschoolers IRL so I thought I would ask here. My husband and I are having a hard time deciding what to do. We have four kids, a six year old girl (first grade), an almost five year old boy (preschool), a twenty month old, and a three month old. 

The oldest went to preschool starting when she was three in a state with a Dec. 1st cutoff date. Over the summer between preschool and kindergarden we moved (military) to another state with a Sept. 1st cutoff date. Because this new state does not have preschool we were told that she would have to stay home for a year then start kindergarten the following year because of her September birthday. She was ready for kindergarten level work so we decided to start homeschooling. 

It's been ok but we live in a rural area without any other homeschoolers that we've been able to make contact with. This coupled with the two babies has made schooling stressful and difficult, especially when my husband is deployed. We found out a few months ago that we will be moving to another state, the move was scheduled for early December but we just found out it will be postponed for a couple to several months.

When we found out that a great private school is very close to where we will be living we decided to have the kids stay with their grandparents in the Dec. 1st cutoff state for a month and a half while we moved. My MIL works at a private school there and was able to get the kids into that school. This means that our oldest would have been able to transfer to the new state at her current grade level even though that state has an early cutoff date. 

Now with our move having been postponed we are at a loss for what to do. Our options are:

- register the oldest in a not so great public school here for a few months the have her transfer again to our next state sometime in the late spring, meaning her first grade year will be a few months each of homeschooling, private school, public school, another private school (the second oldest would not be able to continue preschool here because this state does not offer it to non low income families and the only private ones are too far away) 

- simply continue homeschooling, picking up where we left off but this means she would not be able to enter into the appropriate grade level until third grade (a year and a half from now) if we decide to have her go back to school

There is no way to go back to homeschooling then pick up with school for her until she is at least seven by Sept. 1st because of the age laws.

The oldest isn't all that thrilled about school except for the fun parts like field trips and art class but it was difficult to get her to do sit down work at home as well and with four kids I simply can no longer spend two hours convincing her to do her work. Part of me thinks school with help with that but the other part believes her when she tells me she's bored, tired, and the day is too long. The second oldest seems indifferent to school, he's ok with going and he's ok with not going, he's a mellow kid in general and tends to go with the flow. 

The next state we are moving to is much more homeschooling friendly. There are groups, classes, museums, etc. and it's closer to family and homeschooling would allow us to visit them more often. With all this I still have a nagging voice that says I need the time off from them for my own sanity. All four kids, with DH deployed for 120 days out of every year, is difficult. I wonder if I wouldn't be a better mom when the kids are not in school if I had a break from them. 

[phathui5]

 - register the oldest in a not so great public school here for a few months the have her transfer again to our next state sometime in the late spring, meaning her first grade year will be a few months each of homeschooling, private school, public school, another private school

I would definitely try to avoid this. The move to another state is transition enough, going to three or four different schools in one school year seems like it would be detrimental both socially and academically.

Your struggles to get her to do schoolwork are as much a discipline issue as a schooling issue, and it's something you'll have to deal with just as much with homework if she's in school.

I understand you needing a break from the kids sometimes. I have four children too. What we do is go to the YMCA a lot. There, the kids can play in the playrooms while I work out or read, With you being military, you would probably get a discount on a membership.

[mrsfrenchy]

Would it be feasible for you financially to homeschool, but have a sitter come 2x a week or something when your husband is deployed (if not all the time)?  You could get grocery shopping done, run errands, go to a coffee shop or bookstore and read for a while, go out with friends, etc.

I do think it would be rough for your oldest to keep switching between school settings, especially if she's not thrilled about going to school to begin with.  And if there will be more opportunity to get out and socialize or visit museums,etc. in your new state, then you might actually find that it's a bit easier.

[elus0814]

Originally Posted by mrsfrenchy 

Would it be feasible for you financially to homeschool, but have a sitter come 2x a week or something when your husband is deployed (if not all the time)?  You could get grocery shopping done, run errands, go to a coffee shop or bookstore and read for a while, go out with friends, etc.

I do think it would be rough for your oldest to keep switching between school settings, especially if she's not thrilled about going to school to begin with.  And if there will be more opportunity to get out and socialize or visit museums,etc. in your new state, then you might actually find that it's a bit easier.

Financially it would be ok if the price wasn't too high but the bigger problem is finding someone who is willing to watch 3 or 4 kids at one time. We have been trying to find someone where we are now to watch just three of the kids but the only offers we've had in the past year and a half have been from either 12 year olds I don't feel can handle it or adults who are asking $20+ an hour. I've looked into on base day care or in home day care. Even if they were willing to take unvaccinated kids (they won't) it would be $5 per hour for the older ones and $7 per hour for the two in diapers, I would feel too guilty spending $24 an hour for some me time. I don't know where to look or ask for babysitters, all our friends are young and only have young kids. Where do other moms find sitters?

[Aaronridge]

I would continue homeschooling for this year because I don't think it would be good to have her attend three different schools in one year.  I'm assuming she has a fall birthday? Spend this year enjoying your young family, try to teach her some academics in a fun, informal way.  Next September put her in first grade wherever you happen to be living.  That's what I would do.

[elus0814]

Originally Posted by Aaronridge 

I would continue homeschooling for this year because I don't think it would be good to have her attend three different schools in one year.  I'm assuming she has a fall birthday? Spend this year enjoying your young family, try to teach her some academics in a fun, informal way.  Next September put her in first grade wherever you happen to be living.  That's what I would do.

The whole reason we have a problem is because she is advanced academically and was well beyond kindergarten work this year and really needed to be in first grade. She's going great in first grade and is well beyond the other students in several areas. She already complains of being bored with some of the work, I can't imagine how awful it would be for her to to sent back to first grade again next year - she would be two years ahead! 

[Aaronridge]

Originally Posted by elus0814 

Originally Posted by Aaronridge 

I would continue homeschooling for this year because I don't think it would be good to have her attend three different schools in one year.  I'm assuming she has a fall birthday? Spend this year enjoying your young family, try to teach her some academics in a fun, informal way.  Next September put her in first grade wherever you happen to be living.  That's what I would do.

The whole reason we have a problem is because she is advanced academically and was well beyond kindergarten work this year and really needed to be in first grade. She's going great in first grade and is well beyond the other students in several areas. She already complains of being bored with some of the work, I can't imagine how awful it would be for her to to sent back to first grade again next year - she would be two years ahead! 

Oh, I see.  In that case, can you put her in second grade next September?  It sounds like she won't have any troubles, even with a relaxed homeschool.  As long as she spends some time reading (fiction and nonfiction) and writing and practicing some math facts she will be fine.

[elus0814]

Originally Posted by Aaronridge 

Originally Posted by elus0814 

Originally Posted by Aaronridge 

I would continue homeschooling for this year because I don't think it would be good to have her attend three different schools in one year.  I'm assuming she has a fall birthday? Spend this year enjoying your young family, try to teach her some academics in a fun, informal way.  Next September put her in first grade wherever you happen to be living.  That's what I would do.

The whole reason we have a problem is because she is advanced academically and was well beyond kindergarten work this year and really needed to be in first grade. She's going great in first grade and is well beyond the other students in several areas. She already complains of being bored with some of the work, I can't imagine how awful it would be for her to to sent back to first grade again next year - she would be two years ahead! 

Oh, I see.  In that case, can you put her in second grade next September?  It sounds like she won't have any troubles, even with a relaxed homeschool.  As long as she spends some time reading (fiction and nonfiction) and writing and practicing some math facts she will be fine.

It's a really confusing situation. Simply put because of the age rules she would not be allowed to continue with her current grade level course in a school because of the age laws. The age laws stop meaning anything once a child is seven by Sept. 1st which will be more than a year and a half from now when she would be ready to start third grade. Once a child is seven by Sept. 1st grade level is determined on academic merit and not age (why they don't do this after kindergarten is beyond me). The state we're moving to does not offer any 'early' admission option, it's all based on age. 

I'm thinking now that we'll stick with homeschooling. The more I think about it the more I realize that four different education situations in three different states would be too much on a six year old, even one as accustomed to moving as she is.

[inky leeuhhh]

i would stick with homeschooling, but i do understand why it's a hard decision to make. i have a hard enough time with the two little ones by myself, i imagine four would be challenging to say the least. even if you could get out occasionally while your hubby is deployed, it may help you feel better. good luck.

[Ecobabyz]

I am reading a book right now called The Well-Adjusted Child: The Social Benefits of Homeschooling by Rachel Gathercole. It answers most of your questions and then some, I would highly recommend it (available at most public libraries). I encourage you to continue homeschooling hard as it may be. I think once the kids are older it will get easier and you'll be happy with your choice. Remember that you really don't need to do 'school at home'. A child that young really just needs reading, writing, and arithmetic basics (with all the creative things like art and music done naturally throughout the day). A love for learning is something that's natural to kids, and we as parents need to be vigilant not to take that away. I hope the book I recommend helps!

[elus0814]

Thank you all for the support. I had pretty much decided that we will go back to homeschooling (which we WILL be doing). I brought it up to DH, who's never been all that thrilled about it, and we wasn't exactly on board. I didn't think it would be an issue in any way but he feels that taking her out of school 'just because she doesn't like it' is pandering to her. I explained all my reasons but it was clear that he was mad so I let it go then we discussed it again today. I spent some time researching the past few days complete programs that would provide teacher guidance if needed, objective grading, report cards, a transcript, and so on. It seems to have perked his interest and it would be really nice for me to not have to spend so much time researching and creating lessons. We have been using a mix of all different things, which has pluses and negatives, but if this is what it takes to keep homeschooling and keep DH happy with it then I'm ok with that.

[libertymom]

What state are you moving to? I am in VA and they "say" they have very strict rules about age and grade level, but, I just got my 6 year old twin boys into 2nd grade and we had always homeschooled before. What you have to do is give your daughter the 1st grade CAT test at the end of this school year and take that to the school as proof that she has completed 1st grade already. At first, I had no problem with that and then on the day they were going to start the principal said no way the boys have to go to 1st grade because of their age. I ended up going to the school board and all they did was call the school and make the school evaluate the boys to see if they would do ok in 2nd. So they got in and they are doing great. I plan on doing the same thing for my daughter next year.

[elus0814]

Originally Posted by libertymom 

What state are you moving to? I am in VA and they "say" they have very strict rules about age and grade level, but, I just got my 6 year old twin boys into 2nd grade and we had always homeschooled before. What you have to do is give your daughter the 1st grade CAT test at the end of this school year and take that to the school as proof that she has completed 1st grade already. At first, I had no problem with that and then on the day they were going to start the principal said no way the boys have to go to 1st grade because of their age. I ended up going to the school board and all they did was call the school and make the school evaluate the boys to see if they would do ok in 2nd. So they got in and they are doing great. I plan on doing the same thing for my daughter next year.

It's a Catholic school in Georgia. I spoke with the principle and she doesn't think she can allow it and didn't seem receptive to spending time researching it. The public schools in that area aren't very good so we don't consider them an option. I think homeschooling will work out for us. It'll be nice to be able to use the money we had set aside for tuition on field trips, books, etc.

[Ecobabyz]

I forgot to mention that you can always do online 'public' school, it is completely free and it looks like it would take a lot of weight of the shoulders for you. You would still have the freedom to 'do school' whenever you need to, but you'll have teachers that work with you virtually and the curriculum is all set. I think that's what I would do if I was in your place, with that many kids. Best of all, it is free! Here is where I found it if you're in Georgia: http://www.k12.com/curriculum_and_products/participating-schools-in-georgia/

[mommaluv321]

I just recently pulled my kids out of public school for the same reason (and others as well). They are so far ahead of their peers that my 9yo was actually starting to get bad grades and her teacher said she couldnt understand because she knew that Kayla is capable of doing the work... Ummmm, she's bored. So far they are really doing well and are probably the happiest they've been since school started.

[elus0814]

Originally Posted by Ecobabyz 

I forgot to mention that you can always do online 'public' school, it is completely free and it looks like it would take a lot of weight of the shoulders for you. You would still have the freedom to 'do school' whenever you need to, but you'll have teachers that work with you virtually and the curriculum is all set. I think that's what I would do if I was in your place, with that many kids. Best of all, it is free! Here is where I found it if you're in Georgia: http://www.k12.com/curriculum_and_products/participating-schools-in-georgia/

I used to know a family that tried to a program like this through a public school district and they wouldn't allow kids who didn't fit the age requirement to take classes for the grade level the parents felt they were in. This family had a daughter who missed the age cutoff by two days, started kindergarten already reading, and was bored and disruptive so they pulled her out of school to homeschool. This was in colorado so it may be different in georgia.

[elus0814]

Originally Posted by mommaluv321 

I just recently pulled my kids out of public school for the same reason (and others as well). They are so far ahead of their peers that my 9yo was actually starting to get bad grades and her teacher said she couldnt understand because she knew that Kayla is capable of doing the work... Ummmm, she's bored. So far they are really doing well and are probably the happiest they've been since school started.

They wouldn't allow her to skip ahead a grade? I switch from a Catholic school to a public school for fifth grade and I did terribly. The Catholic school was so far ahead academically that I 'protested' the work I considered remedial by simply not doing it. I was made to sit on the ground during recess every day, sit alone at lunch, and I was never allowed to attend a class party. I couldn't stand going to school and, because I had to get myself up and walk to school alone, I usually just slept in a showed up when I felt like it. My mom got in a TON of trouble with the district over it. I wish I had been pulled out to homeschool but my parents were divorced and both needed to work. I hope your daughter does well at home.

[Lisa1970]

Where we live, which is Texas, the cut off is Sept 1 you have to be 6 for 1st grade. If you have not completed 1st grade in another school, accredited, they will not honor the higher grade level placement. When the hurricane happened in Louisiana, they had a later cut off date and it was mid school year when it happened. All 1st and kinders who did not make Texas cut off dates were turned away. The younger 1st graders were sent back to kinder. I am thinking that there are probably some districts in this state that won't do that, but all the ones I know in my general area will do that. I am in the DFW area. I have also heard stories of older kids being pushed down grade levels when they move from other states too. I don't think it is right, but they are. The way things were handled with the hurricane was pretty much all over here. I know for sure if you are here and brought a child who missed the cut off and tried to enroll in kinder, they will not allow it, even if they were in kinder elsewhere. This is because technically, the date is Sept 1, you must be 6 for 1st grade. They would not be able to legally promote the child the next year to 1st grade.

I hope this helps.

[Lisa1970]

I need to add, I would just home school them. It is really not much work. You would be shocked at the level of work it takes to keep up with public school busy work home work. Just the paperwork you have to do that first week is awful. Then one fundraiser after another. Then getting up to get one child ready and carting all the children off in the car to take her to school or to the bus stop or whatever. I am finding home schooling less work than public schooling, less costly, yet, better academically. AND, I don't have to get up at 6am to fight a child out of bed, feed the child, dress the child, and get that child off to school while carting along the rest of the children. Really, in my case, I only have 1 non school aged child, but seriously, try it for one day and you will wish you were homeschooling again. Public school does not make your life easier.

Good luck!