Barely hanging on by a thread - feeling like an awful mom

[chipper26]

I don't even know where to start.  I just went back to work full-time 3 months ago after being aSAHM for 2 years.  I'm handling it horribly.  My daughter is in the middle of the "terrible twos" when everything is NO or a negotiation and I'm exhausted.   I'm angry so often and have been impatient with her and not handling the conflicts well.

I have little energy to deal with her at the end of the day and she is often clingy and miserable.    I grew up in a household full of anger and yelling and it's not what I want for my daughter I can't seem to control my reactions.  I resent the fact that I have no time to relax or recharge (unless you count getting ready for work at 5:30 am.)

I don't have the time or energy to do the things I want with her.  I KNEW I couldn't handle full-time but got forced inot it this year and I'm stuck because I couldn't get a part-time position. . (teaching contract)  I takes me an hour and 15 minutes to get to work in the morning and the new job is pretty high stress.

I can't help but feel like I'm failing when I'm not there for my daughter the way I want to be, I break down crying or yell because I'm angry and I don't have the time to put into doing my job well.  I don't know how other moms with more than one child keep it together when I'm having trouble handling one.  Many moms make the working thng happen too and I am muddling through daily, barely getting through.

[Marissamom]

I struggled with working full-time starting when DD was 9 months. it was super difficult. especially when we were both adjusting to the schedule. I hope things get better for you. 

[Lisa1970]

I worked for a while when my first was born. In the end, I had to be home fulltime. Someone needed to be here fulltime. It was a huge sacrifice. But is it possible for you to return home or at least cut back your hours?

[chipper26]

I go through these stages when I feel like  I just can't handle it and my emotions are overwhelming, then I  get over it and everything is kind of okay.

I can't cut back my hours or change jobs or quit until June b/c I'm a teacher and it will reflect negatively on my future if I quit in the middle of the school year.  I have to do the best I can for the next almost 7 months and then figure it out from there.

I just wish I could find a way to get myself into a more "laid back" attitude.  It's just that nothing about my life is laid back.  Sorry if there are  a bunch of typos.  She's spilling parm cheese on the floor as I type, gotta hurry!

[fuzzylogic]

Well, yeah.  It is hard when you've had such a major upheaval, and hard for your daughter, who has had you at her beck and call for 2 years, to suddenly be demoted from her place in the center of the universe.  Of course she's whiny and difficult, and that's a difficult age anyway. Sometimes, I tell myself I'll do something for x time, and then reevaluate......

If you got to stay at home, then there is another parent?  Can that parent do either pick-up or delivery from daycare?  Pick-up is best, 'cause then you get an hour or so to yourself to regroup.  Can someone help with meals?  If dinner is pancakes or oatmeal for a while, I doubt that it is a big deal.  Try to put the things you want and need to do on a scale, and figure out what HAS to get done---you have to eat, and while I can't recommend living on McD's, there are a lot of reasonable microwaveable things.  The organic section has even more yummy mixes and freezer stuff....    If living on organic mac'n'cheese means that you read stories to her, she'll never miss home-cooked food!  If the house is a mess....well, she's not too likely to notice.  Try to pare down the stuff you have so there is less to pick up and clean.  Talk to the other parent about pitching in......