Am I a sucky vegan?

[Snow~Pea]

So my husband called me a hypocrite today because I cheat every once in a while on candy that is not dairy free. I've been vegan for a few years and up until recently have had very few cheats. Maybe once or twice a year. But dh keeps buying the stupid mini chocolate peanut butter cups from Trader Joes! Its not my fault, who could resist?! So, will I receive a dishonerable discharge from the vegan community for my crimes?  

[lovepiggie]

...Yes? Well, not really... But why don't you find some delicious vegan chocolate that you can enjoy while dh enjoys the non-vegan treats? Then you can snack and be guilt-free, and not have to worry about the vegan police.

[catnip]

Nobody putting forth the effort to eat less animal derived food is a hypocrite. It's not an all or nothing thing, and every time you choose a vegan food over a non-vegan one, you do something good. That said, here's how to make an awesome vegan peanut butter cup for next time: Melt a bag of vegan chocolate chips. Take about 1/2 a cup of peanut butter and mix in powdered sugar until you get a nice, thick stiff paste that isn't at all runny. You want about the consistancy of play dough. Line a mini muffin tin with papers, pour a little melted chocolate into the bottom of each cup, and form discs of the peanut butter paste and put one in each cup. Top with some more melted chocolate. Let cool, and eat while your husband looks on in envy. I also have dipped TJ's peanut butter pretzels in chocolate and OH are they good.

[BeanyMama]

Originally Posted by catnip 

Nobody putting forth the effort to eat less animal derived food is a hypocrite. It's not an all or nothing thing, and every time you choose a vegan food over a non-vegan one, you do something good. That said, here's how to make an awesome vegan peanut butter cup for next time: Melt a bag of vegan chocolate chips. Take about 1/2 a cup of peanut butter and mix in powdered sugar until you get a nice, thick stiff paste that isn't at all runny. You want about the consistancy of play dough. Line a mini muffin tin with papers, pour a little melted chocolate into the bottom of each cup, and form discs of the peanut butter paste and put one in each cup. Top with some more melted chocolate. Let cool, and eat while your husband looks on in envy. I also have dipped TJ's peanut butter pretzels in chocolate and OH are they good.

Well said! And YUM!

[ShadowMoon]

:

"Nobody putting forth the effort to eat less animal derived food is a hypocrite. It's not an all or nothing thing, and every time you choose a vegan food over a non-vegan one, you do something good. That said, here's how to make an awesome vegan peanut butter cup for next time: Melt a bag of vegan chocolate chips. Take about 1/2 a cup of peanut butter and mix in powdered sugar until you get a nice, thick stiff paste that isn't at all runny. You want about the consistancy of play dough. Line a mini muffin tin with papers, pour a little melted chocolate into the bottom of each cup, and form discs of the peanut butter paste and put one in each cup. Top with some more melted chocolate. Let cool, and eat while your husband looks on in envy. I also have dipped TJ's peanut butter pretzels in chocolate and OH are they good."
 

Very well said. Also, don't get too hung up on labels. Being able to call yourself "vegan" shouldn't be the reason you are living a vegan lifestyle. I think too many people focus on the all or nothing part and when they fail, they just give up for good. This doesn't sound like you, but if having a few dairy laced peanut butter cups in a year keeps you on the vegan path for the rest of the time...well, it's not the end of the world. And there really are a lot of yummy vegan treats out there, (store bought, or recipies like above), that will have your husband drooling for sure) Peace~

[Annie Mac]

I had to laugh at your thread title! No, I don't think you're a sucky vegan, just an average one. I spent a year very much surrounded by people who embraced veganism, vegetarianism and other alternative wellness practices. To my surprise, it wasn't uncommon for many of them to eat "just a little, sometimes" meat or cheese or whatever. Sometimes even fast food. And most of these people came off as being pretty hard core. 

[citymagnolia]

lol No you're not a sucky vegan! Peanut butter cups are so good and giving in to them once in a while doesn't mean you're not a vegan. My kids' dad sends my girls home with bags of candy from his mom's house and when there are Reeses PB Cups or Kit Kats I totally eat them too. Little slips like that made me stop calling myself a vegan though, just because other people--especially omnivores--can become so caught up and often get very defensive about it. Like a pp said, for some people it's all or nothing. In real life, nothing is like that. Like you, I lead a 99% vegan lifestyle with the infrequent perk of PB cups and the occassional KitKat. We are women. I do keep a secret stash of cranberry-almond 72% cocoa chocolate bars that are sooo much better and they are vegan!

[Snow~Pea]

Thanks ladies, I think I needed a reminder that its human to not be perfect. And thanks for the recipe catnip! Of course candy cane joe joes are out now (and vegan) so I have forgetten all about the pb cups, lol.

[JuneCleavage]

I always tell people its a lifestyle choice, not a purity contest. I try really hard to, but at the same time I don't want to be on my deathbed thinking I should have just had the damn bowl of icecream. Once I gave myself permission to eat what I wanted, if it was really that important to me, I actually have an easier time staying on the straight and narrow. 

[StefanieH]

It's no big deal, don't be so hard on yourself!  As long as overall you stick to your vegan philosophy I think everything is OK.

[hnahh]

Tell him to stop being the Vegan Police!!  I have been a vegetarian for years and over the past year realized I did not want to put a label on myself and don't call myself vegetarian any more.  If people offer me chicken i just say "no thank you" or if I need to say more i say  "I don't eat chicken" and leave it at that.  So many people want you to feel bad and see you fail because they know that it would be impossible for them to do.  Get rid of the label and just be a healthy respectful person and don't label yourself - it will be much easier!!

[EarthlingMomma]

Originally Posted by hnahh 

Tell him to stop being the Vegan Police!!  I have been a vegetarian for years and over the past year realized I did not want to put a label on myself and don't call myself vegetarian any more.  If people offer me chicken i just say "no thank you" or if I need to say more i say  "I don't eat chicken" and leave it at that.  So many people want you to feel bad and see you fail because they know that it would be impossible for them to do.  Get rid of the label and just be a healthy respectful person and don't label yourself - it will be much easier!!

Oh, I loved reading this thread today.  I really don't want to be called out on little nibbles here and there.  I'm pretty radical about my diet now, but I believe I make the rules and I can break them or bend them however I choose.  I don't like labels so much either, but I feel proud that I'm a "exclusive plant eater".  See?  It's just easier to say vegan....

[Coco17]

What a great thread. I loved your title of "sucky vegan". You have nothing to worry about. We are all human and are prone to temptations. PETA might see it otherwise, but who cares? This is your life and you are allowed the occasional "slip-up" (if you want to call it that). I have been vegan for a few years now (after being vegetarian for a few years too) and I just spent a month in Costa Rica where I was tempted by some of the delicious milk-based desserts, especialy the ice cream. Yes, I have to admit that I succumbed to the strawberry-macadamia nut ice cream that was made locally in the Monteverde/Santa Elena area......and it was delicious. I loved every minute of it. I could have beaten myself up about it and felt guilty about it for weeks afterwards, but I decided to accept and honor where I was at that moment and to allow myself to truly enjoy it. Of course, if there had been vegan alternatives, I would have chosen that, but the choices are fairly limited there. This week, I am going to go out and buy myself a little ice cream maker and make myself some homemade coconut milk ice cream. There is a wonderful little cookbook out there called "Vice Cream". Gotta pick that up too. When we let go of all labels and rules that box us in, then we truly get to live and experience life. Yes, we can have our morals, ethics, etc.but not to the extent that they act as shackles and keep you chained to your ideals. Hope this helps....Cheers.

[HoneybeeWaterfall]

I agree I love the thread title.

I was never a purity based person but having my own children who are being raised in a mixed family and a mainstream daycare has made me reevaluate even more. In your scenario I would ask myself the question - if the society I lived in was equally vegan would I be missing something. I think in the case of occasional peanut butter cups the answer would be no - because an equally vegan society would have more delicious peanut butter cups equally available that you would prefer and have access to. Today most of us don't have vegan alternatives equally available outside of our own little bubble. As vegans we are responsible for generating the demand to create that world but the occasional non-vegan item is not a deal breaker. Even the purist of vegans inadvertently consumes non-vegan items in this society.

My DS is what I would call a veganish vegetarian because I have decided that letting him have certain things is better than create a desire for something forbidden. Like he has ricemilk based "cheez" sticks that are not vegan because they contain casein. So they miss the purity meter but help him be in his social milieu feeling like he is not missing something but also is not becoming accustomed to the flavor profile of true animal cheese that can be hard to let go of as an adult choosing to be vegan.