Four in one bed...does it work?

[BeckyA]

So, 3y ds has co-slept all his life and we arent about to change that. BUT we just may come Jan-we're expecting our second LO.

What with night-long feeding sessions, diaper changing, newborn crying, pee/milk staining sheets, keeping the night-lights on, etc  DH suggests that the LO and I sleep on the floor/another room while ds and he continue sleeping in our regular bed for atleast the first 3-4mos.

I like the idea very much, as Im not too keen on disturbing them (dh is a light-sleeper, needs good sleep to stay fresh at work......aahh, like we dont! And I'd rather ds get a fitful sleep so he can go happily to preschool, and not be crabby) And ofcourse, there's the added advantage of lot of wriggle space for all.

However, it clashes with my "mental image' of what co-sleeping is. Arent we all supposed to be in the same bed?? Isnt that how its done? Or should I go alongwith the idea of sleeping separately cos "you just do what works for your family"

Mamas here with more than one, how do/did u co-sleep? What sort of arrangement did/do u have? If you co-slept with more than one (baby/person!) did the lights being on not bother them? I ask this since ds dsnt like any lights on at night.

Oh and also, four warm bodies in one bed in winter is good, but in summer.........is it feasible? Summer nights are horrible here without an a/c, so we'll all have to sleep in one room to save on the elec bill, and I find that Im in reality, dreading the thought of 4 in one bed in summer.....the timeline dh suggests we room in together.

[limette]

We did 4 in bed when dd2 was born, dd1 was 2.5.  Worked fine, we just built a side piece so that we could sleep right to the edge of the bed.  When I leak breastmilk, I lay on a towel.  Never any interruptions to dh's or dd1's sleep.

Now we have 5 and have two beds together.  It still works fine but we're going to move the girls to their own room as soon as we get the upstairs reno'd.

[fruitfulmomma]

I've done it a couple of times. With my oldest, he would not go to sleep without me until he was almost four, and he was still nursing a lot too, so he was on one side and baby was on the other. My poor husband actually slept on the couch during that time because we were on a regular size mattress. We have a king now and dd3 was in with me for awhile after our last was born and still comes in sometimes early in the morning. I just always make sure there is an adult between the infant and the older child.

After dh's father died a couple of years ago and we had all been at the hospital all night, we all came home and crashed on the bed together. That was a total of 7 of us in a king.

[Vancouver Mommy]

We've been four in the bed for over three years and with the exception of some minor space issues it's been great. My kids are 5.5 and 3.5 now and I feel I'm ready to start encouraging them to sleep in their own beds or together in my dd's bed. My son doesn't actually have a bed in his room come to think of it. We never had lights on past the extreme newborn stage. Once we stopped changing dipes at night we just nursed in the dark. For early diaper changes we had a string of white christmas lights above the change table so it wasn't too disruptive. I also don't think we had dd in our bed when ds was newborn. We also used an Arms Reach co-sleeper for the first few months. My dd has a double bed so from time to time that gets used by whoever wants some extra space or snores too loudly or if it's really hot.

There is nothing I love more than crawling into bed between my two sleeping children.

[Kiwiontheloose]

I have an 18mth old and expecting another in May - we have been pondering the same question.  DD is a light sleeper so I think the baby and I will sleep in another room for the first few months - I expect we'll play it by ear though - if I've learnt one thing since becoming a mother its not to make too many concrete plans!

[Peony]

4 in one bed or even one room does NOT work for my family. We spilt off into separate rooms, each with a child or two, and have for over 3 years now. When DD2 came along, she was O2 dependent for many months so we did 2 beds in one room, DD1 was a heavy sleeper back then and DD2 never bothered her. I however had a horrid time trying to sleep listening to 3 other people all night long. DD2 was only 2 when DS came long and she had never slept with DH so we moved everyone back into one room. DD2 woke up with every little squeak DS made, we tried it for a few weeks hoping it would get better, it didn't. So once again DH moved out with the girls. DS is 19 months and has never slept with DH, only me and then the girls when DH is traveling. Some day when he is older, he will get the chance to. Our 4y still sleeps with DH and our almost 8y sleeps on another mattress in his room.

The ideal family bed IMO, is the one that allows the most amount of people to get some sleep. 

[To-Fu]

We have had four in the bed for the last 6+ months and it's been fine overall.  We also didn't use a light except for during the extreme newborn stage.

Here's how our king-sized bed looks from overhead:

|-----------------------------------|

|Baby | Mama | Papa | 3yo |

|-----------------------------------|

We are in the middle of a wall, and on each side of the bed we have foam bumpers from here:

http://www.gobedbug.com/GOPAGES/infantcosleep.htm

Surprisingly, it only took a couple nights for the big kid to get used to the additional noise-maker in bed.  And to be honest, the 3yo is a noisier/more disruptive sleeper than the baby, diaper changes and all.