So....last Thursday I got called into the boss' office and was sent home on administrative leave until I saw my Dr again and they wanted a letter that the Dr thought it is safe for me to continue to work. I had an episode of shortness of breath/dizziness and low blood sugar at work and they were "concerned". So....I was home Thurs-Mon when I had my appointment and slowly but surely the shortness of breat increased and I had a constant feeling of being suffocated in a way. By the time I got into the Dr on Monday just walking caused me to huff and puff. Dr. sent me striaght to Labor and Delivery and they did a million and one tests on me thinking I had a blood clot in my lungs. Twenty four hours later I was discharged with no explaination of why I have the shortness of breath and just told I have an arrythmia (abnormal heart rhythm) that I need to see a Cardiologist for. I go back to the Dr on Tuesday and she will determine then if I can go back to work. Which as horrible as I feel I have to do.
I feel like an emotional mess. I was starting to feel as though things were going to be on track by the time this little one arrived, but now I just don't know. I had put gifts for the kids on layaway for Christmas, which my husband had to go to the store and cancel today. I have pushed myself to death this pregnancy and just am still coming up short. I know everything in life is one step forward and 2 back, but I am TIRED!!!!
On top of everything else I am not going to be able to VBAC now either.....it is no longer safe. I agree with it, but it is still a kick in the teeth.
I know this baby is a blessing and a gift from God, I know that there is a plan for me and my family that maybe I just don't know yet...but I need a road map to atleast see that the end is in sight. Sorry to vent.