Would you give a 9 yo boy a doll?

[Melaniee]

A few things to keep in mind...

It is a boy doll.

He does have "cuddle friends" as we call them, and a doll that is not a Waldorf doll and gets played with on some occasions mostly just to play with his sister.

So I am wondering, is it still a good gift at this age?  I have bought a boy Waldorf-style doll and I am torn as to give it to my son or my daughter.  At first I was thinking my daughter, but then I wondered...am I leaving him out of something really special, or is it too late?   

Thanks for your feedback. :)

ETA: The focus of my question isn't "Should a boy this age have a doll," but rather in this specific situation, would you give a new doll. TIA!

[GoBecGo]

Sorry to be the first respondent AND an "other" person!!

I would give him the doll if he WANTED a doll.  i.e. this sounds like a nice doll to get if you want a doll. But if he's not interested in dolls i would give it to my other kid (male or female) who might like it more and use it more (dolls of that sort not being cheap).

It doesn't sound like your son is very interested in dolls except to play with his sister, so if you gave him the doll would she be the one who ended up playing with it?  Hard to know, you'd know your family dynamic best anyway.  In your position i would either give it to them both in a "this is a new doll to care for" way, OR give it to her and if he plays with it a lot get him his own one.

[babygrey]

I voted other as well.

ITA w/ the pp, the issue for me, in the situation you've presented is not whether your child is a boy, or whether the doll is a boy, or what kind of doll it is or whatnot- the issue for me is whether your child wanted the doll and would play with the doll.

It sounds like perhaps you considering giving the doll to your son and not your daughter bc the doll is a boy? IMPO, I wouldn't make that a deciding factor- if your daughter loves dolls, she'll surely be happy to have a new doll (boy or girl) and if your son doesn't really want one, it won't matter that the doll is a boy.

Here's how I'd handle it- I'd probably drop some subtle questions to assess whether he feels left out and would be interested, ideally next time yours is playing w/ his sister- ie.. "would you like your own doll, too?" "if you had a doll like your sis, would you want to play more often?"  I bet his answers would really help guide your decision.

[Melaniee]

LOL. What the child would most want is would be huge sets of Legos or remote-controlled flying toys. ;)

He wouldn't ask for a doll, I don't think. I don't think he'd dislike it either, it just wouldn't have been on his "list," if you know what I mean. He does generally sleep with no less than 5 friends of various squishiness at night. ;)

[jillyofthevalley]

Well, I voted no, not because I don't think boys should have dolls (both my boys have dolls but they are younger) but I think that at the age of 9 he is probably moving on to different sorts of toys.  I think it would be appreciated more by your younger daughter.  I'm sure he would appreciate something from his "list" like the building toys, etc.

[Momily]

No, I wouldn't.  My family is big on giving the kinds of presents that they think people "should" want, rather than the kinds they actually do want.  Books for the reluctant reader, necklaces for the tomboy etc . . . Christmas always comes with this undertone of knowing that you were a bit of a disappointment. 

Give your child the gifts that he wants.  There's nothing in your description that implies that he'd want a doll, or that he'd use it other than perhaps to play with his sister. If you give it to his sister and they're playing together he can still use it.

[Marsupialmom]

At 9, I wouldn't give any child a doll unless that want it. 

[pregnant@40]

Originally Posted by Melaniee 

ETA: The focus of my question isn't "Should a boy this age have a doll," but rather in this specific situation, would you give a new doll. TIA!

Well, taking age out the equation, I would then look at preference. Is this something your son would like? If so, then get him the doll. But only you know your son.

[pregnant@40]

Only if it's something he would like, and only you know the answer to this.

But personally I would get for him the legos and remote controlled toys. Way more cognitively interesting for a kid of 9.
 

 

[pregnant@40]

 editing post

[eclipse]

I said no, only based on what you said in the first post. He already has a doll, but he only plays with it with his sister - that makes me think he's just not into dolls. As a rule, I have no problem with boys and dolls - it just seems like your daughter would appreciate it more.

[Melaniee]

Thanks everyone. I was leaning towards 'no,' as well, but then felt badly about it like I was just falling for a stereotype of what I think he should be getting.  Truthfully, he wouldn't dislike it, but it wouldn't be what he really wants.