We had our little one last night. I am absolutely devistated. I wrote up the story and will paste it here.
Well here I am again having to sit down and type yet another story of another one of my babies that has gone to soon. In August we buried our son Emeric and were devastated. I knew there was someone missing from our family. After a great deal of effort I was able to convince my husband that we could try again. In October we went to Las Vegas to celebrate our 9th anniversary. Two weeks later received a positive pregnancy test. Although I was scared to death I was thrilled at the possibility of finally completing our family.
Nausea started immediately and the pregnancy appeared to be progressing just as it should. My belly even started to bulge a bit (which is not surprising as this was my 8th pregnancy). On wed. 11/24/10 (the day before Thanksgiving) I started bleeding bright red. I was terrified and sure that I had lost my little one. My Dr. and his awesome nurse kept the clinic open late and I rushed in. My husband met me there with all of the kiddos and we did an ultrasound. I was terrified as I climbed up onto the table. The dr. looked at everything then flipped the screen to me and asked if I wanted to see the heartbeat. It was amazing to see that little flutter. It was still disconcerting that I was bleeding but it gave me hope. My husband decided to name the baby pepper as I had a uti that had caused burning like when you eat hot peppers and I liked the idea because it looked like salt and pepper on the ultrasound. I headed home to rest. The bleeding continued and didn't get any worse or any better. I spent most of Thanksgiving day in bed. It was so hard because I was so worried about the baby. Friday morning I went to I scream Ice Cream to celebrate my two youngest's birthdays. I stayed put but things just didn't feel right. Headed home afterwards to rest.
About 6:30 I started getting cramping for the first time since the bleeding had started and it was heavier and sharper then I knew that it should be. My husband and I decided to head to ob triage to check things out. Before we got out the door (about 7:30) I went to the bathroom and heard a little plop. I reached in the toilet and grabbed the perfect sack. We called the kids in and broke it open. The baby was absolutely perfect and so very tiny. It was amazing how small it was compared to Emeric who was not even quite twice its age gestationally. We decided to head to ob triage anyways to make sure that everything had passed.
The staff was amazing!!! Each one individually told me how sorry they were for my loss with their words and a hug or a squeeze on the arm or hand. I truly felt taken care of. When I left I was given the all clear and I felt so empty inside. This was most likely our last chance so I am morning my little pepper as well as the little one that is missing from our family.
We plan on burying pepper in the cemetery with its brother sometime today. I will finish this story later.