So...do you judge (privately or publicly) other people's name choices? - Page 8

[GoBecGo]

Originally Posted by Viola 

That's funny.  I remember way back in 1998, before I had my first child, I read some article about years of education and name choices, and the people who were most likely to name their sons Henry had doctorates.  So now whenever I hear that name, I think the parents must have their Ph.D.s 

I don't really have a problem with unique names, it's just some people get so invested in their children having unique names to the point that they will tell you they want their children to have a name that no one else would ever have, and they get upset if some other child has a similar name, or they spell the name in a way that seems completely nonsensical, I kind of get a little ticked about it all.  Yes, we're all special, we're all unique in the universe, there has never been anyone else like us, blah blah blah. No, your child isn't anymore unique because his name is Asteroid or MyK'Aeleh  instead of Jack or Michaela .
 

I'm sure that sounds judgmental, but I'm mostly thinking of people who say, "I would *never* give my child such a common name" knowing that they are talking to people who have given their children common names.  That said, so many people I know have unusual names, I think it takes a lot for something to be really out there.  

Originally Posted by L J 

Its amazing the crap people gave me when I was pregnant with my oldest, and told them I was going to name him "Henry". No one had anything nice to say about it - family and friends begged us to choose something else, something more "normal" like Connor or Hunter or Jordan! Ha! 

Yeah, i'm one of THOSE people who didn't want my kids to have common names.  My name is rebecca.  There were a minimum (MINIMUM) of 4 rebecca's in every class through my entire school career (and i went to 5 different elementary schools because we moved around so much).  It's actually really annoying being given a dumb nickname by the teacher so she can call you apart (i wasn't alone, there were a whole bunch of Gary's too!).  It is annoying when other kids take those nicknames and make "funny" new nicknames.  Even when i went to university i was in Halls and there were four other Rebecca's on my floor, and we constantly got called to the payphone to talk to one another's relatives, given notes from one another's friends, and so on.  It's really irritating.  I don't cry or care if someone else has the name i gave one of my DD's, but i definitely lived the drawbacks of having a common name.

[Neuromancer]

Originally Posted by L J 

I agree with Smokering - of course I judge when I hear what people name their children. Sometimes I love the name, sometimes I feel really sorry for the kid, and sometimes I am just neutral. But, I think its very rude to ever say anything to a parent about their name choices, especially if the child is already born and named. 

Agreed!

I fully expect that 50% of the people I know will dislike the name my husband and I choose for our baby.  And I dislike a lot of names my friends and acquaintances choose!  But I would NEVER tell someone that I did not like his/her baby's name.  This said, I have sometimes caught myself gossiping about other people's names and I try to stop -- I'd be mortified if it got back to them!!  And some of the names I've disliked most after a friend has a child have grown on me to the extent that I have no problem at all with them anymore.

Edited by Neuromancer - 12/5/10 at 9:20pm

[cyclamen]

We gave our daughter a very unusual but extremely old first name.  I do occasionally wish we'd given her a slightly more common name so she could "disappear" in a crowd, but the name seemed to come to her - we didn't know it was hers until she was 3 days old.  And it really seems to suit her.  She loves to yell it.  My mom's side of the family thinks her whole name is ridiculous.  It doesn't make sense to them.   I think they especially don't like that we hyphenated her last name, which is something most Americans don't see a problem with.   But we tried to give her the gift of a name that contains our longing for her good future as well as a sense of her own past.

I tend to think most parents who give their kids a name have that same longing.  Maybe it's a traditional name because it feels solid or intelligent.  Maybe it's a word that sounds beautiful to them, so it's like giving your child that beautiful word.  Like giving your child the first beautiful thing that you can.  Maybe it's a family name.  Maybe it's a name that means "prosperity" or "abundant beauty" or "god's gift" or  "our family shall rise from the ashes" (that's actually what one of my cousin's name means) - and whether that name is "Luxury," or "Jonathan" or "Yoon Mi" (or "Imaginayshun Miracul" to spin off a PP!) - the spirit seems shared. 

The weird names that are spelled "wrong" are kind of awesome.  Standardized spelling in English is only a few hundred years old.

But I come from a family of people with both weird and traditional names....  My mom gave me the most "american" name she could think of.  It came out of a pop song she heard while waiting in L&D.  When people hear my name and then see me, they get confused.  I had a boss ask whose paycheck he was signing because he couldn't connect my name to me.  So I have this all american sounding first name.,,. and no one could pronounce my last name.  Kids made fun of me anyhow.  Viciously.  For years.  Not for my weird last name, and not for my common first one.  Kids will make fun of you for any old reason, but it doesn't have to be a life trauma.

So I guess I don't worry much about my daughter's name.  If she hates it and wants to change it when she's older, she has my blessing.  And likewise, I guess I really don't care about what others are naming their kids.  That's their problem, not mine.