So...do you judge (privately or publicly) other people's name choices? - Page 3

[gardenofsimple]

not that it's weird, but I always get a kick out of it because of the Allman Brothers song.
 

Originally Posted by beanma 

Originally Posted by gardenofsimple 

I usually don't raise eyebrows at names, but I've heard some strange ones since I work at a college. Elizabeth Reed. Princess Pocoo. DeLorean.

Okay, I can't figure it out. What's weird about Elizabeth Reed? I googled and only came up with an instrumental song by the Allman Bros. Princess Pocoo and DeLorean I can get. And yes, I agree there are some weird ones out there. I worked filing papers when I was in college back in the dark ages and remember seeing "Harry Allcock". Not such a great choice, y'know? Of course there's the NASCAR driver Dick Trickle, too, I mean really wouldn't you go by Rick instead? Richard?

Oh and on the Tucker rhymes with thing, my DH is named Chuck so it just doesn't seem a problem to me. He hasn't been teased for his name mercilessly or anything. He actually chose it when he was a kid. His real name is Charles, of course.

[zinemama]

Originally Posted by Chamomile Girl 

Zinemama...what's wrong with Tucker?  I don't get it.

You probably don't spend much time with adolescent boys. Little Tucker will have a nice life until he hits middle school. Then...he'll be F*ucker to friends and foes alike. Poor kid's going to have a long row to hoe with that name. If he's lucky, he'll switch schools at some point and give himself a new moniker so his parent's choice won't follow him into adulthood. Because let's not forget the large proportion of adult men out there with juvenile senses of humor.

I know: any name can be made fun of. But some names are just begging for it. How could any parent fail to spot the flaw in Tucker! Granted, it's a fine name on its own. But have some mercy and use it for the middle name.

[MO_Bookwyrm]

As someone with a different name, I can understand why some people can grow up and not be happy with them.  I always knew the first day of school during roll call when they would get to my name.  There would be a pause...a long one.  As I got older, I'd just jump in and supply the name for them.  My name is spelled phonetically.  So, it should be pronounceable, but for many it isn't.  I also had my name modified and made fun  of...first and last.  It happens. 

I have chosen to give my children more classic, strong names.  And it isn't because of my name.  It is just what I've always been drawn to.  My DS's name is even one of the most popular boy names, but you don't find it often in my area.  My DS2 (who is coming in March) will have two middle names.  Both names are in honor of family members, as is DS1's middle name.

I know that I will talk about names with my DH.  I have a lot of live and let live...but when I see/hear names like Lemonjello and Orangejello, it just makes my skin crawl.

[journeymom]

Do I judge? Do I have an opinion? Of course! I would never say anything critical to a parent about their  name choice for their own child. 

[Chamomile Girl]

Originally Posted by zinemama 

Originally Posted by Chamomile Girl 

 

LOL, well actually I teach 14 and 15 year olds, so I do have LOTS of exposure.  IME boys of that age are much more creative...and it is more about the person than the name.

ETA:  I have no idea why the quote boxes are empty, but I am responding to zinemama's critique of the name Tucker (that it rhymes with F--).

[beanma]

Oh zinemama, I don't know about Tucker. It's no Dick Trickle or anything. I'm acquainted with a Tucker who is in middle or high school now (not sure) and I've never heard of any problems with teasing for him. I know his mom pretty well, but not sure I could ask her that question. At any rate, he's a good looking, tall kid and I don't think anyone would give him too hard of a time about and if they did I don't think he'd take it to heart. He's probably 6ft by now (mom is tall) and favors Justin Beiber a little. I think teasing has more to do with where you fit in the social strata. If you're a target you're going to get teased no matter what your name and if you're not you might get ribbed a little by your friends, but it won't stick. I know folks have made the F*ck rhyme with Chuck for my DH, but it's just a little joke and nothing that's going to damage his self esteem. People rhyme my name (Mary) with things, too. Mary Dairy being a particularly popular one for some reason.

At any rate, I wouldn't say anything to a parent about a potential child's name unless they were mispronouncing it like Siobhan being See-o-bahn or if they were spelling it non-traditionally like Micheal instead of Michael and then the most I would do is to ask the parent if they knew it was traditionally spelled/pronounced the other way.

FTR, I like Django.
 

[HollyBearsMom]

Agree that it is more the kid than the name.  I know 2 Tuckers and neither were teased badly. I emailed them both and asked!  In fact one said the only time his name was an issue was when he joined a fraternity and then it was just part of the initiation. He had to introduce himself as "Hi I am Tucker the F*cker. Both these guys are wealthy, smart, athletic and good looking and they were as kids as well. They would have been in the "popular" crowd in middle/high school.

I went to school with a boy name Michael and he was teased horribly. He accidentally washed his hair with baby oil and from then on he was "Greasy Mikey, hair all spikey" which quickly became "greasy Monkey" and finally landed on Monkey Boy which stuck with him for long time. He wasn't popular before the incident (dirty, smelly, poorly dressed, mean and rude) but was kind of off the radar until then. Later on I learned he had a bad home life (alcoholic mom, bully dad, dirt poor) but kids don't always see that or have empathy enough to recognize that the mean/rude behavior might be a symptom of something bigger. I was bullied at the same time but It didn't make me empathetic towards him.  I was glad when the spotlight was on him because then it wasn't  Not something I am proud of but at the time it was self preservation.

So will a "bad" name cause teasing so therefore a parent should be judged? No.  Kids will just find something else to bully about.

[gardenofsimple]

I didn't see the Tucker connection until others pointed it out. I still think it's a cute name though. At a festival a couple of years ago we met a lovely couple with a little girl named Fanny. Not her nickname, her name. I of course didn't say anything, but I thought it was an odd choice.

I like names like Alma and Gloria (my grandmothers name) but I don't think I would name a child that. Maybe Alma.

[starling&diesel]

Originally Posted by Chamomile Girl 

I hated my name growing up because it was (is) so freaking dull.  I felt really inhibited by my name.  In my fantasy world (I was a pretty, erm...imaginative child) I longed to be an Anastasia or a Theodora.  But alas... So I always swore I would not resign my kids to the same fate.

Me too!  I desperately wanted to be called something delicious like Anastastia!  When I was 6-12 yrs old I used to take the Greyhound by myself (Good lord, how UNSAFE) to see my dad and would make up a name for myself and it was often Anastasia. 

We're leaning toward "Django."

I love it, I love what it means (I Awake) and who it represents (The greatest jazz guitarist ever, who overcame physical handicaps to invent his musical style), it's a name that might be hard for a kid but will be a strong name for a man. And I'm trying to keep that in mind too, I'm not naming a baby...I'm naming a man. And it has some simple nicknames that I don't mind using if it proves too difficult for a baby or young boy. (Like DJ.)

I love the name!  Go for it!  If you don't tell the name ahead of time, and people 'meet' the name at the same times as they meet the baby, the baby becomes the name and the name is loved because it is the baby and everyone loves the baby!  We named our DD Esmé and often have to help with spelling and pronunciation.  But we live in a world filled with interesting names that you meet for the first time and need help with, so be it!  I wanted to name DD Esmé from the J. D. Salinger short store, "For Esmé, with love and squalor."  We're leaning towards Nova or Solace or Dixie or Shilo for our next child, should we be blessed.  So, yeah, the more interesting, the better! 

A funny note, we went to the Waldorf School open house last week and saw all kinds of interesting names on the kids' cubby holes.  Great inspiration!
 

As for being teased ... it depends on the circumstance.  We would never name a child Homer, simply because we're Queer, so it would be easy to imagine our Homer being called Homo, simply because of him having two mamas.  I love the name Elizabeth, but wouldn't name a child that, because of Lezzie Lizzy, etc.  Lesley the lesbian.  Finnegan the Faggot.  Nelly Kelly.  You catch my drift.  I think it's wise to think ahead, if you can. 

[zinemama]

Originally Posted by beanma 

I think teasing has more to do with where you fit in the social strata. If you're a target you're going to get teased no matter what your name and if you're not you might get ribbed a little by your friends, but it won't stick.

FTR, I like Django.
 

I actually very much agree with this. But the thing is, when you name your kid, you have no idea where he/she is going to end up on the social strata. Could be a popular kid, could be the target of every bully, could be the middle strata that just coasts along. So the way I see it, why choose a name that could be even more of a handicap?

[quelindo]

Well, I'm not a fan of trendy names like Madison or Mackenzie, so when DH's niece named her daughter Madysen Makinsie (pronounced "Madison Mackenzie" I judged. And they call her "Maddy" but spell it Mady, which to my English major's eyes looks like "MAY-dee."

But more unusual names like Django -- I think that's cool. I just had a baby (last Monday!) and we named him Silas, and people seem to either love it or hate it. (One of DH's co-workers said, "Huh. Must be a family name" and my FIL thought we made it up.)

Also, to the person who got flack for using "Henry," my older son is named Henry and it seems to be very popular now. I never wanted popular names for my kids, but there you go.

[Catubodua]

I judge all the time and make fun of names all the time too - but, not to the parent's face.  I don't understand using odd names.  I always find it pretentious and feel like the parents are trying so desperately to be different and cool when all they are doing is looking foolish and sticking their kid with a horrible name to boot. 

[IdentityCrisisMama]

I voted "don't judge" although I have heard some urban legend names that I would talk about with a friend if I actually met the kid.  Never to the parents though and this would only be in pretty severe cases like the name "a-a" pronounced adasha or something like that.  Lots of the names mentioned on this thread wouldn't even make me pause.  I had an unusual name growing up...had never met another person with my same name...and then BOOM my name is like the most popular girls name in the US now.  Funny how that goes.  

BTW, I like Djengo!!  

[la mamita]

I definitely have opinions as to baby names (I love them and have been collecting lists of baby names since I was a child!) but I can't remember ever feeling sorry for a kid for their name. I can think of a few names that I would be shocked about: Adolf, Yoni, Elbow... I tend to like unique names, so anything from Redemption to Althea to Amaranta to Solstice are all names I have considered for an example. I admire many of the popular or traditional names even though I wouldn't use them. I was always one of three or four Firstname's in my classes at school because my first name was quite popular. It made me feel like my name had absolutely no personality, especially when I had to say no, I'm Firstname K, not Firstname B...

I do feel bad for kids whose names are constantly mispronounced. My son's name (Esteban...it's Spanish) sounds horrible when pronounced in an English/American accent. People say Uh-STAY-bahn or ESTA-bahn, when it's eh-stey-bahn. I thought people would catch on to how it was pronounced, but they don't. Luckily I gave him two first names and the other one is pronounceable! I'm not making that mistake with the second kid...

[Breathless Wonder]

Originally Posted by la mamita 
I do feel bad for kids whose names are constantly mispronounced. My son's name (Esteban...it's Spanish) sounds horrible when pronounced in an English/American accent. People say Uh-STAY-bahn or ESTA-bahn, when it's eh-stey-bahn. I thought people would catch on to how it was pronounced, but they don't. Luckily I gave him two first names and the other one is pronounceable! I'm not making that mistake with the second kid...

I have a very simple name- 4 little letters, and yet people mispronounce it, AND misspell it!  And I don't even use an odd pronunciation!  I say don't worry about it!

[beanma]

Originally Posted by starling&diesel 

As for being teased ... it depends on the circumstance.  We would never name a child Homer, simply because we're Queer, so it would be easy to imagine our Homer being called Homo, simply because of him having two mamas.  I love the name Elizabeth, but wouldn't name a child that, because of Lezzie Lizzy, etc.  Lesley the lesbian.  Finnegan the Faggot.  Nelly Kelly.  You catch my drift.  I think it's wise to think ahead, if you can. 

Aww...I'm just gonna say that I think sometimes folks are over-thinking about the teasing. Elizabeth? That's a classic and I wouldn't worry about teasing with that one. I'm pretty good friends with a two mom family and they have a daughter named Elizabeth. I also know another lesbian named Lizzie. I don't think they've had issues with teasing. Now, I went to high school with a poor boy (probably literally poor) named Manly who was anything but. He was skinny with greasy hair and baggy out of style clothes, probably had a pocket protector, but wasn't known for being a smart nerd and although I never heard outright teasing about his name I'm sure there must have been some. What kid could pull off a name like "Manly"? That's like naming your son Studly. I just feel pity when I think about poor dweeby Manly. Poor guy.
 

[*Eva*]

Don't worry, my first's name is Van and if we're having another boy we're naming him Axl.  Get it....Van - Axl (cars).  One of my friend's husbands thinks this is hysterical and gives me cr@p every time I see them but its all in good fun and honestly I can't blame the guy.  He jokingly calls my DS2 "Car" and telling him our name choice for a third just put him over the edge lol.  That said yeah I sometimes do think people are crazy for naming their kids certain things ie. a person I went to school with was named Princess and her brother was Prince.  I also had a friend make his little girl's middle name Alize (like the alcohol pronounced alih-zay). 

[choli]

Originally Posted by meg007 

I agree with what others have said about not liking variant spellings of common names.  Names like Katelyn, Caitlyn, and Kathrerine, Cathryn, Catherine, Kathrinne, etc.  It's like, people, can we all just calm down a little on that?  Then again I have an alternate spelling to a common name - I'm Meghan.  With an "h."  But I like it, and I always have!  It made me feel unusual and special, in a way. 

Actually Caitlinn pronounced as Kate Lynn is one of those names that makes me mentally roll my eyes.

[philomom]

Originally Posted by *Eva* 

That said yeah I sometimes do think people are crazy for naming their kids certain things ie. a person I went to school with was named Princess and her brother was Prince. 

I went to school with  Brother and Sister..... no kidding.

Can I ask why you are spelling Axl without the "e"? Axel is a family name of mine and good one. I hate to see it spelled incorrectly.

[*Eva*]

Originally Posted by philomom 

Originally Posted by *Eva* 

That said yeah I sometimes do think people are crazy for naming their kids certain things ie. a person I went to school with was named Princess and her brother was Prince. 

I went to school with  Brother and Sister..... no kidding.

Can I ask why you are spelling Axl without the "e"? Axel is a family name of mine and good one. I hate to see it spelled incorrectly.

All the kids have 3 letter names.  Van, Ian and whatever the next one is.