Need some advice for pulling kids out of public school

[mamatoady]

I was plannng on pulling dd(second grade) out at Christmas vacation, ds is in preschool and may remain for the rest of the year.  Dd wants to homeschool, but also doesn't want to leave her friends.  I think too that she sees school as routine--something we don't exactly have down at home yet.

Well, last Monday dh lost his job.  He should be getting unemployment and will be job hunting this week, but we have NO incoming funds right now and we had been paying about $60 a week in gas to get kids to school everyday.  We simply do not have the money for that right now and are being forced to pull them out a bit early.

I'm not ready on many accounts for home schooling yet.  I don't have my curriculum, our daily schedule is all over the place and I'm not exactly sure how to tell the kids, "by the way, you are done going to school and won't really get a chance for any closure for your classroom.

Also, this decision to homeschool was very difficult for me (dh has always been supportive, but not really going to be part of its execution.  My family is unsupportive and I'm afraid that with Dh's lost job, they will see us as even more unfit to homeschool.  In many ways I don't care what they think, but I really do want and need all the support I can get.  I have a good friend who homeschools and would be supportive.  If my family makes things difficult I'm not opposed to moving further away from them, but it wouldn't be able to happen until next spring.

Can anyone give me any advice or support or anything?

Sarah

[jeteaa]

It is very possible to hs with little or no money spent depending on what supplies you already have. If you were seriously 100% sure you were going to take them out of school in Jan. and the gas money was never and issue, then don't even give it a second thought about taking them out now after thanksgiving break. I do feel that a quality hs experience does require driving/bus to the library, socialization opportunities, museums, classes, sports... so  if you feel you don't have the gas money to provide these things for your child, then you might want to keep them in school until you do. 

[mamatoady]

thank you.  I think my issue really is how to talk to them about pulling them out early and how to ease that transition.  We'll have about equal amount of money as before in a couple weeks.  I'm saying I do not have money to take them to public school right now.    I just feel very unprepared, I hate public school and know where they best belong....I guess it's just never as easy as it should be.

-S

[mom2ponygirl]

Does your state have any requirements regarding pulling her out now?  Our state can require a 2 week notice, but that can be waived by the superintendent.  I would check your local laws, just to make sure you don't have any issues there.

Will you be able to continue to have internet access?  There is just so much available for free or with a bit of printer paper and ink.  If you look for internet explorations at www.hoagiesgifted.org you will find tons of fun stuff to learn and explore until you guys get back into a new groove.  There are plenty of free curricula on line with a bit of googling.  MEP math is a good one.

I would plan your once weekly drive into town for supplies to include a library stocking up trip and a homeschool group playdate.  It's not ideal but for the short term it will suffice.  You should be able to save a lot of gas by just dedicating one day to being out and about.  

I wouldn't explain much to the school, it just invites argument.  If you don't need to give notice, I would just notify whoever you need to (we send paperwork to the superintendent's office) that you are choosing to homeschool from now on.  If they ask why, just say that it seems like the best fit for your family right now.  You don't knock the school or burn any bridges that way.  They don't need any more explanation.  

Have fun - hope your dh finds work he enjoys soon - we've been through the layoff thing a couple of times.  Except for the scary uncertainty it can also be a bit of an adventure and exciting to have new things on the horizon. 

[fruitfulmomma]

Here are your state laws... looks like you are in a great place and don't need to notify. I think a call or note to the local school would probably be a good idea, just so they know why you aren't there.

http://www.hslda.org/laws/analysis/Michigan.pdf

I wouldn't worry about the $ issue now. Use the library to stock up on books when you can. Let your kids deschool for awhile until you can get to a place where you want to be with them.

[2xy]

We began homeschooling "all of a sudden," too, eleven years ago. DS1 never went back to school, and DS2 has never been.

Homeschooling costs as much or as little as you want it to. There are lots of free/cheap resources online, especially for young children.

Don't give the school department any more than the law requires, even if they ask for it. School policy does not trump state law. Giving too much information sets a precedent that other homeschoolers are pressured to follow.

[mattemma04]

I would file the hs papers and notify the school. When I pulled ds out of public school it was initially for lack of safety(bullying).When the school continued to deny the bullying I had to either believe them or officially pull him out.I decided to pull him in December before winter break,and I never let him go back to school for safety reasons.There was no closure for him to see what friends he had made,but he understood why I did what I did. If you already know the parents of the friends you can get them together outside of class.We never saw ds's school mates once we left.They were just friends at school.

Truancy letters come usually after 2 weeks of missed school,and you can get your child pulled and legally homeschooling before the 2 weeks are up.I know most schools say you have to keep your kid in school until all the papers are filed,but sometimes that is not possible.

I got a lot of material online and books from the library. Best wishes to you and good luck to your dh in finding a job!

$60 is a lot for gas.I spend $25 a week right now taking the kids to Montessori. It would be hard to make it if I had to pay $60.

[mamatoady]

thank you everyone.  So frustrating.  $60 is a lot.  It was largely because of my preschooler--it required me to drive to town (10 miles) 3 times a day, so that was 60 miles a day which didn't include any errands or other driving that had to be done.  Anyway...the nice part about being off work is that dh is taking the kids out for a walk while I clean and do some interneting. 

peace,

sarah

[septmommy]

I can be your shoulder to cry on if you'll be mine :)  I also planned not to send my children back after winter break.  My son (1st grade) and daughter (kindergarten) are both very bored in school and are vocal about thinking many school rules are unjust and nonsensical.  I generally agree with them.

Last Wednesday I attended parent teacher conferences just as a courtesy.  I ended up leaving in tears.  The classrooms were so depressing and institutional.  I began crying as I thought of my children sitting, bored at these desks day after day as I got to be outside enjoying life.  I knew right then I wouldn't be sending them back.  I will bring a notice to withdraw to our district on Tuesday.  If my children want to go one more day to say goodbyes that will be up to them.

Here is the part where I really "get" you.  I am a single mom living off of child support.  I will be starting college in January and have a trust fund that pays my rent as long as I am in school. My family will think I am crazy for home schooling especially when my finances are so tight. I will have to pay for child care while I'm at college instead of utilizing free daycare a.k.a public school.  My grandparents are doing me a favor by letting me use the trust to pay rent (is only supposed to be for tuition) and I'm terrified they will rescind the offer when they learn I am home schooling.  I know my mom will flip when she finds out.  She used to be a public school teacher and believes in the system with all her being.  I feel like this one choice will alienate me from many people.  Then I look in my childrens eyes and my decision is easy.  I know we will be okay and I know you will too.  Congratulations on the beginning of your journey!

[pattyhenry35]

i'm thinking pulling 14 year old and 11 year old out of school in january and i believe omeschool will work. i use home school last year but i thought girls need friends get out house and now to much drama with 14 year and 11 year told me that her teacher teacher how email all time. 

i was wondering if a way  to tell school her teacher she wont be there anymore or just pull her ? plus i little scared to because i'm pulling out school middle year

got any advise 

[mamatoady]

I had planned on sending dd into school with notecards with her phone number so her friends knew they could call and come over any time, but that didn't happen because of the suprise of pulling her out.  I just didn't send her a couple days and then called the secretary and explained that we were homeschooling.  She told me to send a letter for her file.  I still haven't done that.  Her friend called her a couple times and today told her the whole class was missing her.  Apparently one girl was crying that she wasn't going to be there anymore.  I asked dd if she missed school and wanted to be back there (not that it's her choice) and she said "not really...I like to be home".  I know she misses her friends, but the freedom of being home makes her happy.  We really don't have a lot of rules in Michigan for homeschooling.  You just gotta make sure they know what you're doing.

Sept. mommy--I never saw your post until just now.  It's getting close to Christmas break, are you ready to pull the kids?  I know all about alienating family.  My whole family (except for my brother who lives 3000 miles away) thinks I'm nuts.  I'm slowly learning not to care.  it would be phenomenal if they gave me their support, but my kids' emotional well being trumps what they think or don't think of me.  What is interesting about those public school teachers (I've got a ton in the family) is that they will usually be the first to tell you how messed up the schools are.  They are walking contradictions.  They'll tell you everything wrong with public school and then try to convince you that you can't do equally as good a job.  I'll tell you, when I was in college I was studying to be a teacher and I completed all except my student teaching.  They did NOT teach me how to teach kids or how to deal with discipline or work with so many kids.  Nor did they teach me how to teach math or science or reading or anything else.  It really is learning while you do it.  Anyone who tells you different went to a better school than I did and I'd like to think that my $40,000+ in private school loans equals most other schools out there, lol.

I read a great article that said you should NOT give up homeschooling for at least a year upon starting it because it is hard and it takes time to figure out what you are doing.  Keep that in mind when you feel like sending them back.

sarah

[pattyhenry35]

i home schooled my girls last year and started this year and i still had papers for this year and that how i got approved so easy and i just had to update it . are public not to well here because my 4th grade told me that her teacher would say ( she would like to throw kids out the window ) to her class. and her teacher always having them email her and i think thats wrong for now. 

 she haves told me they only teaches the kids for 4 hours anyways.  last month my 11 year old called me told me she wanted to come home and i shoulded brought home them.

now the middle schools r not good here too. if my daughter haves a chance to write notes to friends and talk them they r not teaching my daughter. plus my daughter got in wrong crowded of kids too and we been having trouble with her lately. 

when i home school them last year u can see them learning and be like angels and we went to church and other things and my daughter lost repected for her and us . and boys trouble too. 

i told out because i thought right thing to do. i hope i made right choice too. 

[myjo]

I don't have a whole lot to add, except that I'm also pulling my third grader out of PS after winter break.  He's been crying and begging to homeschool for months now, and the only reason I haven't done it before now is because his father was opposed to it.  I just can't see how he could witness his son's misery and keep forcing him to go to that prison anyway.  Now that ds knows he doesn't have to go back, he's so much happier.  I hope his behavior improves too, because it sure went downhill while he was in PS. 

I don't spend much on homeschooling.  I use the internet and the library a lot, besides the personal library we've already built up at home.  My 7th grader is using Teaching Textbooks for math, which is very spendy, but it's really the only expensive thing I've bought this year, and it was worth it.  As far as helpful websites, I really like  www.freeworldu.com  , www.coolmath.com , and www.brainpop.com .  Brainpop isen't totally free, but it's pretty inexpensive for what you get.  And www.khanacademy.org is my favorite for math and science.