Thinking about TTC #2 and weaning concerns

[MunchiesMom]

No one IRL would understand what I'm feeling, so I thought I'd reach out here. I"m looking for advice, personal experiences and support...

For the last year I've been thinking about TTC #2, but knew I wan't ready, knew DS needed to have me to himself, and DH and I have been working through some things in our marriage, setting boundaries with MIL, etc... A few weeks ago PPAF returned and I've been more excited about the idea of TTC #2 and things with DH are great. I've been reading tons about TTC while BF, tandem nursing, getting OPKs ready. But I still question if DS is ready for us to have another baby. And maybe I'm not ready yet!

How do you know when you're ready for another child? It makes me sad to think about the relationship I have with DS changing. I feel like I'm mentally cheating on him, LOL! It also makes me sad to think DS could wean during the pregnancy. I realize he's had a nice long ride, but BF is a huge part of our lives. It brings him so much comfort. And it's been incredible for me too... I can honestly say it's the best thing I've ever done. And it makes me sad to hear that 70% of babies wean during the mother's pregnancy. DH says that's a stupid reason to postponse TTC #2, and that DS will "wean mayway". But 2.5 is different from 4.5, so I feel like I need to give me what he needs and has depended on.

Any thoughts or support?

[MunchiesMom]

No one?  :)

[nadia105]

I got pg with my second when my first was 11 months and I did nurse through the pg and tandem for a few months before weaning my first.  When I got pg with my third, I did wind up weaning my then 26 month old b/c I wasn't thrilled at the idea of tandeming again with the older of the two being 2.5 (2-2.5 is kind of my personal bf comfort zone end, so ymmv) and I did have some pain that also contributed.

Your bf relationship most likely would change, but that isn't necessarily a bad thing.  Your ds will become an older brother and that will be a whole new role for him.  There doesn't seem to be any way ot predict which children will wean during pg and which won't, but you can find some other activities to keep you close even if he does wean -- cuddling, story time, etc.

As far as how I knew it was time for another, we were kind of not trying/not avoiding for #2 and I think he came the first time I ovulated.  #3 was a bit of a surprise, though very much wanted.  So, we didn't have as much of the active trying and planning which might have been easier when I think about it.

Not sure if this helps, but I thought I would throw it out there. 

[Kindermama]

Well we didn't really plan our 3rd who I became pregnant with when our 2nd was 8 months old. We took a chance during our fertile and bam! we got pregnant! I did end up having to wean my baby when I was four months along with her sister. If I had to do it all over again, I would have loved to give her more bf-ing time but life happens! Literallly! :)