I had two non-labour cs's (both for breech- grrr), then three freebirths, or 3UBA2Cs.
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Initially, I decided to freebirth my dc3 because I knew from my first two c-section experiences that they would likely kill me at the hospital, if I went. I did not have emergency c/s's, but the hcp's refused to give me blood pressure and adrenal support and I was nearly dead after the second c/s because of that. :( I would not put my life or that of my babies into the hands of hcp's without warrant, ever again.
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But that negative reason quickly evolved as I learned about birth through about 10,000 pages of studies, stories, and books and sites that I found that gave me a huge amount of knowledge so that I was able to glean from anything I read or heard, what the real issues were, why they existed, etc... I was empowered and had a positive outlook: I was no longer avoiding the medical model and hcp's; I was planning my own deeply personal journey with newly-formed self-respect and love for myself and babies. I was asked to give a lecture at the College of Midwives conference, but declined because I wanted to focus my attention on my family and bask in the awe and gratitude I had for the experience of birthing my baby autonomously.
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My journey included a lot of self-reform and self-discovery. It took a lot of research and work to arrive at the place I wanted to be for the birth. I had terrible insomnia, so I was awake nightly, speed-reading everything I had available to me. I had intermittent contact with a friend who was a midwife (still is) and who supported my ambition (though admitted worry), and after my baby was freebirthed, genuinely called me her hero. She changed her practise in profound ways through seeing me go this whole thing alone. My dp was not really in agreement with me, and he wasn't any help either (at that time. He's since become an out-spoken free-birth advocate). The only thing I trusted from him was that he wouldn't call medics just to check me and our new baby: that's as much as I could get from him, and it took the whole pg for him to come to that point. Of course, if we really needed help, we both agreed that he would call for it.
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Anyway, you have to figure out what you need for your journey and then do it.
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I needed intense, hard research and self-evolution from the core. It amazes me that I did this while pg, raising two babies (and by myself because dp worked three jobs and was home only two evenings per week) and taking care of our home. My dp quit his day job a few weeks before the birth, and he stayed home as much as possible for weeks afterward. I had an amazing chiro who did home visits and worked with me pro bono, too. Totally awesome. She came the afternoon ds3 was born and adjusted us both. :)
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It's great to know other women's stories, but ultimately, you have to be comfortable with yourself and your choices, so whatever achieves that in you is what answers your questions. :)
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I wish you the best on your journey. You have an immense power in you to act according to your human and distinctly unique personal nature. Find it and use it, mama!
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