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Traditional Catholic Moms Advent/Christmas chat - Page 3

post #41 of 112

Well, I'm slowly starting to get into the habit of veiling/covering (no pun intended...redface.gif). If anything, I just like it b/c it keeps my hair out of my face. (I have short hair and it quite often gets on my nerves...) But, I am still researching. I would also like a better explanation of the "wifely submission" stuff as well. It seems sort of sexist, but I know that its not...that we are equals with our husbands...right?

 

I really love this blog entry on the subject:

http://justanothercatholicmom.blogspot.com/search/label/submission  (CherryBomb...this is you right? orngtongue.gif)

 

post #42 of 112
Thread Starter 


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by purplemamaturtle5 View Post

Well, I'm slowly starting to get into the habit of veiling/covering (no pun intended...redface.gif). If anything, I just like it b/c it keeps my hair out of my face. (I have short hair and it quite often gets on my nerves...) But, I am still researching. I would also like a better explanation of the "wifely submission" stuff as well. It seems sort of sexist, but I know that its not...that we are equals with our husbands...right?

 

I really love this blog entry on the subject:

http://justanothercatholicmom.blogspot.com/search/label/submission  (CherryBomb...this is you right? orngtongue.gif)

 

 

Oh gosh, yes!  I'm blushing!  That link isn't working, though, is this the post you meant?  http://justanothercatholicmom.blogspot.com/2009/07/titus-2.html
 

post #43 of 112


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by purplemamaturtle5 View Post

Well, I'm slowly starting to get into the habit of veiling/covering (no pun intended...redface.gif). If anything, I just like it b/c it keeps my hair out of my face. (I have short hair and it quite often gets on my nerves...) But, I am still researching. I would also like a better explanation of the "wifely submission" stuff as well. It seems sort of sexist, but I know that its not...that we are equals with our husbands...right?

 

I really love this blog entry on the subject:

http://justanothercatholicmom.blogspot.com/search/label/submission  (CherryBomb...this is you right? orngtongue.gif)

 



Well, J and I find my hair to be something special between the two of us. When I unwrap my hair at the end of the day, he brushes it out for me.  I find that to be submission, because I am keeping it special, just for him.

 

Oh.... I just figured out that you meant wifely submission in general! LoL!

Well... since Christ is the head of the Church, and a husband is the spiritual head of the house, and I submit to the guidance of the Church, to me it only makes sense to submit to my husband. 

There are different levels of submission, of course, and it can be abused... and I really have no idea where I am going with this... I hope someone else gives a better explination.

post #44 of 112

I do wear a veil at Mass. No one has ever asked me (I just let them think whatever...) but I would state simply that I do it out of reverence for Christ who is present in the Tabernacle (and on the altar). I could add, even, that it reminds me of that or something. I was shy about it in the beginning and have received really dirt looks from older ladies (who fought for my "freedom" during the 70's HA!), but only a couple of times. Our 5 yo dd wears a little round what-ever-you-call-it most of the time and I think that is even harder for some. Like I am making her do it and stand out and all. In reality, though, it is completely her choice and she seems to get my reasoning for wearing mine very well. If you are shy about it, you can always start with a thicker scarf or hat or something now that it is cold, well, if it is cold where you are. There is no reason that you have to have a lacy mantilla.

post #45 of 112

Thanks for all of the suggestions and explanation mamas! I think I feel pretty good about wearing a covering to Mass. I'm not really worried about what the others may think. Who knows, maybe I'll inspire some (women) to wear a head covering too! I've only ever seen one other woman wear a covering at Mass. I am starting to wear one daily...mainly its just to keep my hair out of my face. Its kind of nice! lol.gif

post #46 of 112
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by purplemamaturtle5 View Post

Thanks for all of the suggestions and explanation mamas! I think I feel pretty good about wearing a covering to Mass. I'm not really worried about what the others may think. Who knows, maybe I'll inspire some (women) to wear a head covering too! I've only ever seen one other woman wear a covering at Mass. I am starting to wear one daily...mainly its just to keep my hair out of my face. Its kind of nice! lol.gif



Yes!  Please do :)  It was seeing other people doing things like veiling and kneeling to receive our Lord in Holy Communion that gave me the push to do it myself!

 

Please pray for a mama from my ddc, who's sweet baby passed away.

 

Love to you all, and I hope your Advent has been going well!

post #47 of 112

Prayers here! praying.gif Merry CHRISTmas to you all!!!!!!

post #48 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by CherryBomb View Post


Yes!  Please do :)  It was seeing other people doing things like veiling and kneeling to receive our Lord in Holy Communion that gave me the push to do it myself!

 

Please pray for a mama from my ddc, who's sweet baby passed away.

 

Love to you all, and I hope your Advent has been going well!



I kneel to receive but do not veil. Do you think that's weird? I get super nervous every time I receive, too. There are very few people I've noticed kneeling, and I don't like to stick out.

 

My friend veils, and I've thought about it, but I've come to the conclusion that I'm not ready. I told my friend that I wish they would put it back into the Code so I can veil from an obedience standpoint. I feel like I'd be doing it for the wrong reasons if I were to do it now. If that makes any sense.

post #49 of 112
Thread Starter 


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by lavatea View Post



Quote:
Originally Posted by CherryBomb View Post


Yes!  Please do :)  It was seeing other people doing things like veiling and kneeling to receive our Lord in Holy Communion that gave me the push to do it myself!

 

Please pray for a mama from my ddc, who's sweet baby passed away.

 

Love to you all, and I hope your Advent has been going well!



I kneel to receive but do not veil. Do you think that's weird? 



Not really, unless it was at TLM.  There's always a few women at the TLM that are uncovered, and I really don't get it (especially since there are veils available for use).  I totally understand the hesitation when you're at a NO Mass, because usually no one else is doing it (it took me awhile to get the courage and to be sure I was doing it for the right reasons myself!) but when you're at TLM and everyone else is, it seems weird not to.  I always want to ask, because I'm genuinely curious, but I'm afraid it would come off sounding rude!

 

Interestingly, I don't kneel when I'm at my home parish (though I receive on the tongue).  No one else does and I feel weird, like people are going think I'm showing off.  I should just get over it, but it's hard! 

post #50 of 112


I totally just realized that I haven't "heard" from this thread in a while and realized that a new one had been started. duh.gif

I am hanging in there and feel my family is truely blessed. I can feel the holy spirit carrying us through this challenging time. Dh and I have agreed to table the discussion of more children until may and then we can talk about our options then. We might have more or adopt or foster or be done, not sure yet. Dh is really struggling with abstaining during my fertile time and has chose to use condoms. We have spoken with several priests about it. (him alone, me alone, and us together). Basically when I met with the priest he told me that I am doing what I can and that this is my dh's issue and he is working on it and for the sanctity of my marriage it is ok (for me, aka not my sin) if he chooses to use a barrier. We have set up ground rules and he reviews my chart which I am diligant with, I inform him of where I am in my cycle and if he chooses to use one he will. Has only been an issue once so far. I am not thrilled with it but way happier than dh getting a vacetomy (which he wanted to do for a while). I believe we will get through this, I just need to lead by example. Any prayers for us would be appreciated.

We are slowly healing from losing these babies but it is a long hard road. My edd for Emeric is approaching in Jan and I am not looking forward to it.

I am glad to have found this thread again, I missed the support I receive here.
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by purplemamaturtle5 View Post

A little off topic ladies, but I have a question. Do any of you veil? I have been doing a lot of research on head-covering/veiling and I'm still not sure about it. I got a lot of good information from here:

http://catholicknight.blogspot.com/2007/12/chapel-veil-veiling-or-head-covering.html and as silly as it may seem...I'm afraid if someone came up to me and asked me exactly why I'm covering my head...I wouldn't be able to explain it to them. I feel like its something I'm being called to do, but I'm just not quite there. Any advice?


I have felt called to veil for over a yr now but am just so hesitant as NO ONE else in my parish does it. I saw a women 1x but she was like 90, I should have asked her about it.

I believe that I will move that direction but just haven't done it yet.


Quote:

Originally Posted by frugalmama View Post

I'm not sure what we're going to do this year for advent. I'm still struggling in my faith and wondering if I did the right thing when I converted to Catholicism, haven't been able to get DD {now 4} baptized, and dealing with family issues. I had everything lined up to get DD baptized with the priest who was doing the latin mass here, but the bishop removed him from his post and now I'm starting over again since the new priest who doesn't see a "sincere enough commitment" aka tithes and attending the classes, neither of which is possible right now with my family and financial issues. I'm debating taking DD to the Episcopal church down the street and having her baptized as they are more than willing and it should be accepted by the Catholic Parish.

 

 

The only thing I know we're doing for sure this year is not putting up the tree until Christmas eve and doing some sort of St. Nicholas Day stocking thing.



Hang in there. About a yr after my conversion I was struggling as well. I am so grateful I have stuck with it. Although I do not do things perfectly by any means I really feel the holy sprit guiding and protecting my family. It is worth any sacrifice.

 

I did want to touch on the tithing issue. We began tithing about 5 yrs ago and it was a struggle. I didn't know how we were going to do it. We started at 5% then moved to 10%. You can start at 1% and move up. Always pay the tithing first before any other expenses and we have found that we are always provided for. The more we tithed the money just showed up in strange ways. Business increased, inheritance, find $20 here, etc. In the beginning it was very blatant. By tithing we are showing God that we believe this is his money first and we are blessed with the use of it.

I am not saying this to judge you in any way, I have just received so many blessings (financially and spritually) that I would hate to see someone miss out on those, It is ok to start small and work up.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by lavatea View Post




Sorry, I can't help here. I am pretty new to Confessing (recent Convert). When I confess discipline things it is usually in very broad terms, like "I was uncharitable to my kids" or "I'm angry much of the time". I'm never sure what exactly I *need* to confess because venial things I seem to do all.the.time so I couldn't give a good number account: I yelled x times or whatever. Mortal sins, like missing Mass, I can keep track of pretty well. So I always feel really dumb saying the venial things. I don't usually go unless I have a mortal sin to confess. Then there's usually only one or two things to tell the priest so I fill in the time with venial things.

 

So a confession might run something like this:

I missed Mass 1 time.

I'm angry at my husband a lot.

I'm jealous of women that can get pregnant.

I use curse words.

 

I'm probably doing it all wrong, huh?

 

**These are real life things I might confess, but I'm not re-hashing an exact Confession. I hope this is OK to do.


I agree, mine goes kind of like this as well.

I missed mass while on vacation

I yelled at my kids

I was manipulative

I swore

 

I have never had a priest correct me, it is my confession. If I believe I have sinned then it is a sin, right?

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by PatienceAndLove View Post


 



Well, J and I find my hair to be something special between the two of us. When I unwrap my hair at the end of the day, he brushes it out for me.  I find that to be submission, because I am keeping it special, just for him.

 

Oh.... I just figured out that you meant wifely submission in general! LoL!

Well... since Christ is the head of the Church, and a husband is the spiritual head of the house, and I submit to the guidance of the Church, to me it only makes sense to submit to my husband. 

There are different levels of submission, of course, and it can be abused... and I really have no idea where I am going with this... I hope someone else gives a better explination.


I agree with your explanation of wifely submission. We are not just doing what ever our husbands want for their selfish pleasure. We are submitting to the guidance of hte church.
 

post #51 of 112

Can one you ladies tell me if the Christmas Eve mass at 5 pm fulfills the obligation? I'm used to going to midnight mass but this is our first year in this city and the parish we have been attending doesn't have a midnight mass. So my choices are the 5 pm Christmas Eve mass or one of the Christmas day masses.

 

post #52 of 112
Thread Starter 


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Arduinna View Post

Can one you ladies tell me if the Christmas Eve mass at 5 pm fulfills the obligation? I'm used to going to midnight mass but this is our first year in this city and the parish we have been attending doesn't have a midnight mass. So my choices are the 5 pm Christmas Eve mass or one of the Christmas day masses.

 

 

I was actually wondering the same thing.  I'm pretty sure that it does.  We won't have anyone to watch the kids to attend midnight Mass, and I have so much cooking and stuff to do that Christmas morning isn't easy, so we're planning on attending 5pm Christmas Eve.

 

 

Quote:
If I believe I have sinned then it is a sin, right?

 

This is my best understanding-  Not necessarily.  I think  of all the times I've heard people claim they felt it was a sin to *not* go against Church teaching, ie "I really believe it's a sin for me not to use birth control/have an abortion/be in a gay relationship" etc.  And too sometimes people feel like something the Church has clearly taught is not a sin is, like venerating Mary (I know many converts often take awhile to shake the feeling that they're sinning by venerated the Blessed Mother, but that doesn't make it a sin to do so in actuality).  Or sometimes I hear wives say they feel they've sinned by sexually aroused by their husbands, but the Church teaches that that's actually a healthy and good response to your spouse (generally speaking).  If anything could be a sin just because a person feels like it is, then there would be no such thing as scrupulousness, which the Church teaches is a warped judgment.  If I'm unsure whether or not something is a sin, I ask my confessor for guidance. The CCC says that "Sin is an offense against reason, truth and right conscience," not just plain ol' conscience.  Most of us don't have a perfectly formed conscience, which is why we need the guidance of our confessor and the Church.  That said, if we're striving to live by the teachings of the Church, we can reasonably use our conscience to guide us when making decisions.  That doesn't mean we might not sometimes be wrong, either way (sometimes we might sin without realizing it, sometimes we might feel we've sinned when we haven't).

 

Plus, you run into the problem of the opposite being considered true; if something is a sin just because I feel like it is, is something also NOT a sin just because I feel like it's not?

post #53 of 112
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by CherryBomb View Post


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Arduinna View Post

Can one you ladies tell me if the Christmas Eve mass at 5 pm fulfills the obligation? I'm used to going to midnight mass but this is our first year in this city and the parish we have been attending doesn't have a midnight mass. So my choices are the 5 pm Christmas Eve mass or one of the Christmas day masses.

 

 

I was actually wondering the same thing.  I'm pretty sure that it does.  We won't have anyone to watch the kids to attend midnight Mass, and I have so much cooking and stuff to do that Christmas morning isn't easy, so we're planning on attending 5pm Christmas Eve.

 

 

Quote:
If I believe I have sinned then it is a sin, right?

 

This is my best understanding-  Not necessarily.  I think  of all the times I've heard people claim they felt it was a sin to *not* go against Church teaching, ie "I really believe it's a sin for me not to use birth control/have an abortion/be in a gay relationship" etc.  And too sometimes people feel like something the Church has clearly taught is not a sin is, like venerating Mary (I know many converts often take awhile to shake the feeling that they're sinning by venerating the Blessed Mother, but that doesn't make it a sin to do so in actuality).  Or, sometimes I hear wives say they feel they've sinned by being sexually aroused by their husbands, but the Church teaches that that's actually a healthy and good response to your spouse (generally speaking).  If anything could be a sin just because a person feels like it is, then there would be no such thing as scrupulousness, which the Church teaches is a warped judgment.  If I'm unsure whether or not something is a sin, I ask my confessor for guidance. The CCC says that "Sin is an offense against reason, truth and right conscience," not just plain ol' conscience.  Most of us don't have a perfectly formed conscience, which is why we need the guidance of our confessor and the Church.  That said, if we're striving to live by the teachings of the Church, we can reasonably use our conscience to guide us when making decisions.  That doesn't mean we might not sometimes be wrong, either way (sometimes we might sin without realizing it, sometimes we might feel we've sinned when we haven't).

 

Plus, you run into the problem of the opposite being considered true; if something is a sin just because I feel like it is, is something also NOT a sin just because I feel like it's not?

post #54 of 112
Thread Starter 

Oops, I meant to correct my post, not re-post it!

post #55 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by CherryBomb View Post


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Arduinna View Post

Can one you ladies tell me if the Christmas Eve mass at 5 pm fulfills the obligation? I'm used to going to midnight mass but this is our first year in this city and the parish we have been attending doesn't have a midnight mass. So my choices are the 5 pm Christmas Eve mass or one of the Christmas day masses.

 

 

I was actually wondering the same thing.  I'm pretty sure that it does.  We won't have anyone to watch the kids to attend midnight Mass, and I have so much cooking and stuff to do that Christmas morning isn't easy, so we're planning on attending 5pm Christmas Eve.

 

 

 

We only have two Masses early on Christmas Eve, no midnight Mass, and none on Christmas Day ... so I would have to assume that any Mass on Christmas Eve will fulfill the Christmas "obligation".

post #56 of 112

Cherrybomb, I found some discussions asking the same question on Catholic Answers and the conclusion was yes the evening Christmas Eve mass counts for Christmas.

post #57 of 112
Thread Starter 

Yeah, that was my assumption, but I couldn't remember if Christmas Eve had its own obligation or not!

post #58 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by CherryBomb View Post

Yeah, that was my assumption, but I couldn't remember if Christmas Eve had its own obligation or not!


No.
 

post #59 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by CherryBomb View Post


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by lavatea View Post



Quote:
Originally Posted by CherryBomb View Post


Yes!  Please do :)  It was seeing other people doing things like veiling and kneeling to receive our Lord in Holy Communion that gave me the push to do it myself!

 

Please pray for a mama from my ddc, who's sweet baby passed away.

 

Love to you all, and I hope your Advent has been going well!



I kneel to receive but do not veil. Do you think that's weird? 



Not really, unless it was at TLM.  There's always a few women at the TLM that are uncovered, and I really don't get it (especially since there are veils available for use).  I totally understand the hesitation when you're at a NO Mass, because usually no one else is doing it (it took me awhile to get the courage and to be sure I was doing it for the right reasons myself!) but when you're at TLM and everyone else is, it seems weird not to.  I always want to ask, because I'm genuinely curious, but I'm afraid it would come off sounding rude!

 

Interestingly, I don't kneel when I'm at my home parish (though I receive on the tongue).  No one else does and I feel weird, like people are going think I'm showing off.  I should just get over it, but it's hard! 


Exactly why I don't cover (and I haven't felt "led" to, though I would do it anyway if they made it a rule again). And also why I get super nervous every time I go to receive. I seriously go back to the pew and shake for a few minutes I'm so self-conscious/embarrassed.

 



Quote:
Originally Posted by theboysmama View Post


I totally just realized that I haven't "heard" from this thread in a while and realized that a new one had been started. duh.gif

I am hanging in there and feel my family is truely blessed. I can feel the holy spirit carrying us through this challenging time. Dh and I have agreed to table the discussion of more children until may and then we can talk about our options then. We might have more or adopt or foster or be done, not sure yet. Dh is really struggling with abstaining during my fertile time and has chose to use condoms. We have spoken with several priests about it. (him alone, me alone, and us together). Basically when I met with the priest he told me that I am doing what I can and that this is my dh's issue and he is working on it and for the sanctity of my marriage it is ok (for me, aka not my sin) if he chooses to use a barrier. We have set up ground rules and he reviews my chart which I am diligant with, I inform him of where I am in my cycle and if he chooses to use one he will. Has only been an issue once so far. I am not thrilled with it but way happier than dh getting a vacetomy (which he wanted to do for a while). I believe we will get through this, I just need to lead by example. Any prayers for us would be appreciated.

We are slowly healing from losing these babies but it is a long hard road. My edd for Emeric is approaching in Jan and I am not looking forward to it.

I am glad to have found this thread again, I missed the support I receive here.
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by purplemamaturtle5 View Post

A little off topic ladies, but I have a question. Do any of you veil? I have been doing a lot of research on head-covering/veiling and I'm still not sure about it. I got a lot of good information from here:

http://catholicknight.blogspot.com/2007/12/chapel-veil-veiling-or-head-covering.html and as silly as it may seem...I'm afraid if someone came up to me and asked me exactly why I'm covering my head...I wouldn't be able to explain it to them. I feel like its something I'm being called to do, but I'm just not quite there. Any advice?


I have felt called to veil for over a yr now but am just so hesitant as NO ONE else in my parish does it. I saw a women 1x but she was like 90, I should have asked her about it.

I believe that I will move that direction but just haven't done it yet.


Quote:

Originally Posted by frugalmama View Post

I'm not sure what we're going to do this year for advent. I'm still struggling in my faith and wondering if I did the right thing when I converted to Catholicism, haven't been able to get DD {now 4} baptized, and dealing with family issues. I had everything lined up to get DD baptized with the priest who was doing the latin mass here, but the bishop removed him from his post and now I'm starting over again since the new priest who doesn't see a "sincere enough commitment" aka tithes and attending the classes, neither of which is possible right now with my family and financial issues. I'm debating taking DD to the Episcopal church down the street and having her baptized as they are more than willing and it should be accepted by the Catholic Parish.

 

 

The only thing I know we're doing for sure this year is not putting up the tree until Christmas eve and doing some sort of St. Nicholas Day stocking thing.



Hang in there. About a yr after my conversion I was struggling as well. I am so grateful I have stuck with it. Although I do not do things perfectly by any means I really feel the holy sprit guiding and protecting my family. It is worth any sacrifice.

 

I did want to touch on the tithing issue. We began tithing about 5 yrs ago and it was a struggle. I didn't know how we were going to do it. We started at 5% then moved to 10%. You can start at 1% and move up. Always pay the tithing first before any other expenses and we have found that we are always provided for. The more we tithed the money just showed up in strange ways. Business increased, inheritance, find $20 here, etc. In the beginning it was very blatant. By tithing we are showing God that we believe this is his money first and we are blessed with the use of it.

I am not saying this to judge you in any way, I have just received so many blessings (financially and spritually) that I would hate to see someone miss out on those, It is ok to start small and work up.


 


Many prayers for you and your situation.

 

I want to feel called to veil. I guess I need to read and re-read the blogs and articles out there outlining why we should. So far it just hasn't clicked.

 

I so need to tithe. Thanks for the encouragement. Maybe I'll start with a 5%. That seems more manageable.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Trigger View Post



Quote:
Originally Posted by CherryBomb View Post


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Arduinna View Post

Can one you ladies tell me if the Christmas Eve mass at 5 pm fulfills the obligation? I'm used to going to midnight mass but this is our first year in this city and the parish we have been attending doesn't have a midnight mass. So my choices are the 5 pm Christmas Eve mass or one of the Christmas day masses.

 

 

I was actually wondering the same thing.  I'm pretty sure that it does.  We won't have anyone to watch the kids to attend midnight Mass, and I have so much cooking and stuff to do that Christmas morning isn't easy, so we're planning on attending 5pm Christmas Eve.

 

 

 

We only have two Masses early on Christmas Eve, no midnight Mass, and none on Christmas Day ... so I would have to assume that any Mass on Christmas Eve will fulfill the Christmas "obligation".


You have got to be kidding! Any idea why?? That would seriously upset me.

 

post #60 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by lavatea View Post

 

We only have two Masses early on Christmas Eve, no midnight Mass, and none on Christmas Day ... so I would have to assume that any Mass on Christmas Eve will fulfill the Christmas "obligation".


You have got to be kidding! Any idea why?? That would seriously upset me.

 


I don't see it as anything to get upset over ... the main reason is that we can only get a priest for the two Christmas Eve Masses, but also many of the smaller parishes (like mine) in the area simply can't afford to have the heat/lights on for extra Masses.  We have just one Mass/weekend, and no daily Masses, for that same reason.  A couple of smaller parishes in my area actually close for the winter months.

 

Before lack of priests was an issue, we used to do a Mass early on Christmas Eve, and one on Christmas morning ... but so few people showed up on Christmas morning, it was seriously a waste of what little $ we have to turn the heat on in both buildings (the chapel, and the parish center, for the bathrooms).  The Pastor decided to just have the two on Christmas Eve and it has worked out beautifully ... both Masses are well attended, and everyone is happy.  There are lots of options for those who wish to go on Christmas day, as well ... we're in a cluster of four local RC churches.
 

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