Traditional Catholic Moms Advent/Christmas chat - Page 5

[PatienceAndLove]

i haven't seen a new thread...

[lavatea]

Good question. I'm still following it. Maybe a new one is up?

[sarahsmiles]

Gosh, I hope so! Ever since the new format, I keep missing threads, and somehow with all the excitement of Christmas, I didn't even realize I didn't have my Catholic mamas!

I'm really struggling right now with how to get myself to Mass. I keep finding reasons not to go and I think it all stems from my discomfort with DH not going. The whole family went on Christmas Eve and it was a DISASTER! DD was tired (5:30 pm) and ended up stretched out and resting on the pew. DS kept yelling "MOMMY" and trying to run into the church every time the door opened, and DH spent the whole time in the lobby trying to keep DS distracted. It didn't bode well for the future.

I've only been once since then. I took DS to another parish that has a "cry room," and he basically spent the whole time trying to open the door to get out and banging on the glass.

I read through this thread really quick and don't remember who said it, but whoever mentioned wanting your daughter to have a saint for a mother really struck home for me. I need to do my best to be more saintlike for the kids.

I have tried to step up the talk about God, the angels, etc. DD wakes often at night and is terrified of the dark. We had a good talk the other day about her guardian angel. It's amazing the things I completely SPACE telling her about.

And I'm really struggling with fantasy vs. reality with her. We don't "do" Santa Claus, and I was surprised to see so many of you "doing" St. Nicholas -- with candy in the shoes and all. I've tried to tell DD that Saint Nicholas was a real person and a saint, and the basis for Santa. But if he started doing magical Santa-like things, doesn't that defeat the purpose? DD is really into superheroes right now, and I just worry that she's putting more interest into that than into the real live saints in heaven. I don't know how to reverse this trend.

Ugh. Thanks for letting me disgorge a bunch of stuff.

Prayers to all of you and I'm so glad to be back on this thread!

[JMJ]

Originally Posted by sarahsmiles 

And I'm really struggling with fantasy vs. reality with her. We don't "do" Santa Claus, and I was surprised to see so many of you "doing" St. Nicholas -- with candy in the shoes and all. I've tried to tell DD that Saint Nicholas was a real person and a saint, and the basis for Santa. But if he started doing magical Santa-like things, doesn't that defeat the purpose? DD is really into superheroes right now, and I just worry that she's putting more interest into that than into the real live saints in heaven. I don't know how to reverse this trend.

Interesting perspective.  I don't see anything "magical" about St. Nicholas.  Placing candy coins in shoes or stockings is a way of bringing the story of St. Nicholas to life for children, hopefully helping them to understand generosity and gratitude.  I also find it helpful to teach who St. Nicholas is so that they can understand what other people believe about Santa.  I was raised in this way and don't ever remember having a difficult time understanding that St. Nicholas lived a long time ago, and this is something we do to remember him, not that he's still alive (in the Earthly sense) and magically making it happen.

You certainly know your daughter best to know what is a good idea and what is not, but maybe she is excited about the stories of superheroes and the cool things that they can do, and you could somehow channel that into excitement about the things that saints do.  Imagination is such a wonderful thing.  There are a lot of saints out there with some pretty cool stories.  She could pretend to be different saints on wild adventures.  Even if she doesn't understand the impact now, she'll carry their stories with her.

[Trigger]

Quote:

Originally Posted by sarahsmiles 

And I'm really struggling with fantasy vs. reality with her. We don't "do" Santa Claus, and I was surprised to see so many of you "doing" St. Nicholas -- with candy in the shoes and all. I've tried to tell DD that Saint Nicholas was a real person and a saint, and the basis for Santa. But if he started doing magical Santa-like things, doesn't that defeat the purpose? DD is really into superheroes right now, and I just worry that she's putting more interest into that than into the real live saints in heaven. I don't know how to reverse this trend.

Perhaps Bibleman could help?

The live show has been described as falling between "a high budget Sunday school pageant, a Batman movie, and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles." The production borrows heavily from popular culture, including films, popular music and video games. The characters fight to maintain God's supremacy against villains representing secular popular culture and intellectualism, and gain their powers from the mere existence of the Bible, not from reading or understanding it. The production emphasises words as objects and forces of power, harkening back to a time when words were believed to have magical power ...

... according to Wiki

[PatienceAndLove]

I saw a PP mention Bibleman, and I just had to say that I have friends who remember it from childhood and make fun of it.  I have never seen it myself, but those are the reactions I have heard.  Besides, why go for that when there are good solid orthodox Catholic products?

Super Saints This will prolly be better for an older child, but I have listened to it on the radio and loved it.

Have you checked the EWTN catalog?

Leaflet Missal has some fantastic stuff.

[lavatea]

Originally Posted by sarahsmiles 

Gosh, I hope so! Ever since the new format, I keep missing threads, and somehow with all the excitement of Christmas, I didn't even realize I didn't have my Catholic mamas!

I'm really struggling right now with how to get myself to Mass. I keep finding reasons not to go and I think it all stems from my discomfort with DH not going. The whole family went on Christmas Eve and it was a DISASTER! DD was tired (5:30 pm) and ended up stretched out and resting on the pew. DS kept yelling "MOMMY" and trying to run into the church every time the door opened, and DH spent the whole time in the lobby trying to keep DS distracted. It didn't bode well for the future.

I've only been once since then. I took DS to another parish that has a "cry room," and he basically spent the whole time trying to open the door to get out and banging on the glass.

I read through this thread really quick and don't remember who said it, but whoever mentioned wanting your daughter to have a saint for a mother really struck home for me. I need to do my best to be more saintlike for the kids.

I have tried to step up the talk about God, the angels, etc. DD wakes often at night and is terrified of the dark. We had a good talk the other day about her guardian angel. It's amazing the things I completely SPACE telling her about.

And I'm really struggling with fantasy vs. reality with her. We don't "do" Santa Claus, and I was surprised to see so many of you "doing" St. Nicholas -- with candy in the shoes and all. I've tried to tell DD that Saint Nicholas was a real person and a saint, and the basis for Santa. But if he started doing magical Santa-like things, doesn't that defeat the purpose? DD is really into superheroes right now, and I just worry that she's putting more interest into that than into the real live saints in heaven. I don't know how to reverse this trend.

Ugh. Thanks for letting me disgorge a bunch of stuff.

Prayers to all of you and I'm so glad to be back on this thread!

I just wanted to pop in and tell you that you're not alone on having trouble getting to Mass. I had finally made Mass a priority, and then things happened over Advent/Christmas, and my habit went out the window. I really struggled making it this past Sunday. And I think part of it is DH and his attitude. Even if he goes with us, he's not really there, IYKWIM. It's discouraging. And DD doesn't want to go when she sees that DH doesn't care about it. She thinks it's boring, she wants to lay down, she tries to talk, etc, etc. It's a real nightmare.

[Trigger]

If there is enough room for your children to lie down, why not just let them?  My kids wanted to do this when they were little too - as long as they weren't in anyone's way we just allowed them to stretch out on the pew with their lovey or a small quiet toy,  It was a whole lot easier to focus on the Mass when we could do this - of course, at the time we were attending a larger church with long pews, and  lots of empty pew space, so it was easy.

Kids talking during Mass doesn't bother me ... in fact, last Sunday I would have much rather heard the little girl behind me babbling, than listen to the super annoying electronic toy her monther gave her to keep her quiet (which didn't work, btw).

[lavatea]

Originally Posted by Trigger 

If there is enough room for your children to lie down, why not just let them?  My kids wanted to do this when they were little too - as long as they weren't in anyone's way we just allowed them to stretch out on the pew with their lovey or a small quiet toy,  It was a whole lot easier to focus on the Mass when we could do this - of course, at the time we were attending a larger church with long pews, and  lots of empty pew space, so it was easy.

Kids talking during Mass doesn't bother me ... in fact, last Sunday I would have much rather heard the little girl behind me babbling, than listen to the super annoying electronic toy her monther gave her to keep her quiet (which didn't work, btw).

Hearing kids in Mass doesn't bother me, either, but I think it's because I have some myself. I get very embarrassed when my kids are the ones making the noise. As for letting the kids lie down, I agree with you to a point. And I think my 6 yo has passed the point. I don't know how to get it through her stubborn little head that we need to be respectful. My 3 yo wouldn't be quiet and lie down if I paid him, lol.

[LessTraveledBy]

Lavatea, sorry to hear things are tough. I agree that a 6 y.o. is old enough to act respectfully at Mass. Our dd liked the story "The weight of a Mass" when she was having trouble seeing the value of going. Adoration might also help, as sometimes I think kids have a hard time understanding that the parts of the Mass are not "equal," that it is a huge deal that Jesus comes to us there.

[Trigger]

Lavatea, do you think this would keep her occupied?  I have some sample copies, and they look really awesome.

Magnifikid!

[lavatea]

Trigger - I got a free copy of Magnificat over Christmas and loved it. I plan on ordering myself a subscription and possibly one for DD. Thanks for the suggestion. Do you think there's enough an early reader could understand?

LTB - Adoration is a great idea! I actually wrote down the phone number to call to sign up for my own Adoration time (my parish does 24 hour Adoration). I should definitely drop in during the daytime with DD as well. Where do you get the story you recommended?

ETA - The last few weeks DD has actually been a bit better. Guess why? DH came to Mass with us. Fathers are powerful things. Always praying for his conversion.

[theboysmama]

Sorry to just jump in. My family could really use your prayers.

For those of you that have been following this thread for a while you might know that dh has really struggled with NFP. He also feels very done having children. We were surprised with a pg last april that ended in august at 17 wks when my son was born still. Then I really wanted another baby and preassured him into conceiving (I feel terrible and have since made ammends and changed my behavior). That pg ended in miscarriage at 8wks over thanksgiving. Dh was furious! We decided that we would wait 6 months and then discuss the issue as it was so heated. I was not ok with birth control but my marriage is very important so I was charting and dh was using condoms during my fertile phase. This was very hard for me. Well, we just found out we are pg again. I am of course excited for new life but am having a wide range of emotions. I don't know where the mistake happened with NFP or with the condoms but it did and here we are expecting again. Dh is livid. He is mad at God and mad at the church. He is threating vacectomy NOW not even wanting to see if this lo makes it. He is refusing to pray with our family since he found out and said he will not be going to church with us anymore and will be leaving the church (he is the one that got me to convert and it has been so wonderful for our marriage and family). I have no idea what God has in store for us. I am trying to accept it and not be in fear but it is next to impossible.

Prayers please!

[lavatea]

Many prayers for you, dear. I wonder what is causing your DH's anger. Sounds like there is definitely a big issue there. So sorry for the pain you are going through. Congrats on the new life within you. I really hope you guys pull through all of this OK.

[Trigger]

TBM - I'm so sorry, I can't imagine the stress upon you right now.  Is there ANYONE connected to the Church that your DH trusts and would speak to in confidence?  It sounds like he really needs to just get stuff off his chest, without fear of judgement - it's been my experience that people who are that angry are also afraid.  Does your diocese have a spiritual direction program? - and, if so, would he at least be willing to meet with someone?

It's so hard to trust again when you've been hurt in any way.  I pray that you can help your DH find his way back to Our Father, and trust, and happiness, again.

 

Originally Posted by lavatea 

Trigger - I got a free copy of Magnificat over Christmas and loved it. I plan on ordering myself a subscription and possibly one for DD. Thanks for the suggestion. Do you think there's enough an early reader could understand? 

I do.  The booklets are designed for kids aged 6-12.  The setup is:

A comic/cartoon on the inside cover The Adventures of Brother Goodavdenture! and a small blurb about the week's theme

A brief editorial on the theme

The next several pages contain the full text, Scripture, and prayers of the liturgy for that Sunday, with definitions of "difficult words" and weekly "spotlights" along the bottom of those pages

A page of morning & evening prayers for the week

"The Saturday Page", which contains a small, simple activity/craft project

The final two pages seem to be the wildcard - some focus on saints, others on a subject like the Ascension

The back cover contains a game/puzzle

You can request a sample copy:

http://www.magnificat.net/magnifikid/exemplaire_gratuit1.asp

[JMJ]

More prayers for you, Nicole.  Congratulations on the baby.  Always a blessing.

[PatienceAndLove]

Oh goodness! My prayers are with you!
 

Originally Posted by theboysmama 

Sorry to just jump in. My family could really use your prayers.

For those of you that have been following this thread for a while you might know that dh has really struggled with NFP. He also feels very done having children. We were surprised with a pg last april that ended in august at 17 wks when my son was born still. Then I really wanted another baby and preassured him into conceiving (I feel terrible and have since made ammends and changed my behavior). That pg ended in miscarriage at 8wks over thanksgiving. Dh was furious! We decided that we would wait 6 months and then discuss the issue as it was so heated. I was not ok with birth control but my marriage is very important so I was charting and dh was using condoms during my fertile phase. This was very hard for me. Well, we just found out we are pg again. I am of course excited for new life but am having a wide range of emotions. I don't know where the mistake happened with NFP or with the condoms but it did and here we are expecting again. Dh is livid. He is mad at God and mad at the church. He is threating vacectomy NOW not even wanting to see if this lo makes it. He is refusing to pray with our family since he found out and said he will not be going to church with us anymore and will be leaving the church (he is the one that got me to convert and it has been so wonderful for our marriage and family). I have no idea what God has in store for us. I am trying to accept it and not be in fear but it is next to impossible.

Prayers please!

[PatienceAndLove]

I know you wrote this to someone else, but I wanted to respond.

I got the sample Magnifikids for DD (6), and she wasn't too fond of them.  She is an advanced reader, but they are still too text rich for her, and are actually a distraction because every 3-4 words is "Mama, what does this say?" after she has attempted to sound out the word for herself.

You DD may appreciate having the prayers we say all the time (Gloria, Our Father, etc), but the rest may frustrate her.

I totally plan to get a subscription for her for her First Communion, but right now it's too much.

I just wanted to give me 2 cents regarding our experience with Magnifikid.

I would look into getting a good children's missal- like the My Picture Missal, the Mass Book for Children, or My Little Missal
 

Quote:

Originally Posted by lavatea 

Trigger - I got a free copy of Magnificat over Christmas and loved it. I plan on ordering myself a subscription and possibly one for DD. Thanks for the suggestion. Do you think there's enough an early reader could understand?

 

[theboysmama]

thanks ladies.

Dh met with a priest today. He meets him bi-weekly. I didn't ask how it went but he seems a little less angry. I think  is a positive thing that he didn't cancel his regular appt with the priest.

Thanks again for all of your prayers. I know we will pull through. I know that God has a magnificant plan for us. We just need to be patient before we will know what it is.

I think I am going to request the sample copy of that magazine. It sounds great. Ds1 is an excellent reader at 8 yrs old and might enjoy something like that.

[lavatea]

Thanks for the further info regarding the MagnifiKid. I will order a sample copy and see, but I bet I'm going to have P&L's problem with the interruptions for help. I bought My Little Missal and stopped taking it b/c of the interruptions I got. Maybe we should re-read through that and see if she can read it better now.