I'm over my darn due-date

[Blue_Spiral]

This is me at 39 and 41 weeks. Does baby look lower to you???

I'm a first-time mom. I dropped the birth center at around 30 weeks because they pulled enough crap, and I am planning a UC. I now have no prenatal care, but am planning to have a newborn check-up with a naturopathic pediatrician / midwife when baby is born.

I conceived sometime around the end of February, early March.

Ultrasound confirmed this.

So... the EDD was November 20-22 and so I considered that sort of my "birth week" but now I'm 6-8 days "late."

As a first timer with no midwife and no real support group AT ALL I'm feeling very fragile, despite ALL my knowledge of accurate dating, etc.

At first I was just incredibly hormonal and upset about things not going as I planned (my first parenting lesson) but now the issue of health is stressing me out.

Baby is moving around. He has about one big trampoline session a day, along with his usual little wiggles and nudges and kicks.

But, the biggest issue is that I am overweight. I started the pregnancy around 200 pounds.

I gained very slowly, but at this point I have gained about 15-20 pounds. The medwives made me feel like this was too much to gain, so I'm feeling down about that even though I think I'm ok, and I know I've been healthy.

My blood pressure has been consistently 110 / 60 but it jumped to 120 / 75 I checked it a couple weeks ago, and it was like 127 / 75 and then two days ago and it has jumped to 128 / 80! Still in the normal range but I just want the damn baby out so I can stop worrying!!!

There were some mix-ups with timing on the glucose test so I ended up refusing it, because I didn't really want to take it anyway.

So, of course, they were freaking out that I'd have a big baby because I'm fat, then I told them my mom had preeclampsia and they freaked that he'd be small. I'm not scared of birthing a big baby, really. I just... GAH!!

Well, he looks and feels enormous. I just can't imagine that he's not perfectly freaking ready. I REALLY REALLY wanted to go early or right on time, for MANY different reasons. I just needed it, emotionally and even a little bit physically. I needed it. There are a million things having to do with timing that are just all messed up now.

Oh, and my mom went only 40 w 4 days with me.

I just need some support and words of encouragement right now.

Should I pay $100 to go for a check-up from the pediatrician-midwife just to be cautious??

If I do that they'll try to find something wrong and freak out. I'm not going to do that, unless I go 43 weeks.

I have had ZERO contractions, not even braxton-hicks really.

I was having cramping, but that seems to have slowed down too.

The last couple days I had some watery discharge, but not today.

I just wish I could feel like he was close. He doesn't feel close at all.

I've also started having headaches again, which I had earlier in the pregnancy. They're consistent enough that it bothers me.

I also wanted to add one more thing...

Trying to tell his position... it's been annoying. So, from everything I read he felt posterior, but after two visits he was head down, anterior.

He didn't move forever. He stayed like that.

Now, it's hard to really tell. It's like he started flipping around and changing position everyday right before my due date.

Can you say frustrating???

 So, now I don't know what to trust. I feel this big round, semi-hard mass up top, and I'm like, is that his head???

I feel kicks EVERYWHERE. I especially feel two strong punches very low in my stomach and I'm just hoping it's hands, but then that seems like he's posterior, but I just don't trust anything. I mean, I felt all the signs of him being posterior when he wasn't!

Also, a quick thing... on Laura Shanley's site she mentions semen being most efficient for the cervix if taken orally. I haven't read that anywhere else, though.

Well, I've tried it both ways in the last couple days :)

But, where did she get that information?

Edited by Blue_Spiral - 11/28/10 at 11:01am

[Evergreen]

Hang in there. Most first babies are late. Mine was 15 days late, nothing was wrong with her.

I think it looks like you have dropped but some don't drop until labor either. they're all different. Either way, you are on the home stretch.

[Renai]

Originally Posted by Blue_Spiral 

Also, a quick thing... on Laura Shanley's site she mentions semen being most efficient for the cervix if taken orally. I haven't read that anywhere else, though.

Well, I've tried it both ways in the last couple days :)

But, where did she get that information?

I've never heard taking semen orally. I've always heard have sex- it's the semen on the cervix that helps soften it. But, like the pp said, you are in the home stretch.

[a-o-t-e]

Going over is hard huh. My dd was 10 days 'late' and I interfered with her birth timing cause I was in a midwife programme that only allowed homebirth up till 10 days over, ended up birthing in hospital anyway :( DS was 16days over and UC. I induced him homeopathically as i got twitchy.

 This time round I am now 2 days over due with twins UP/planing UC and much more relaxed. FWIW, none of mine (including the twins) ever engaged before I started labour, and my dd's head was still floating when they broke my waters when I went in in labour with her.

 Waiting is hard, but worth it. I regret each time I intervened in my past pregnancies.

If you have concerns about your own health, then yeah, get them checked, that is what UP is about, not ignoring niggles, but choosing what actions to take, when and with whom.

As for his position, it can change right up till you birth if he isnt engaged. Look into Optimal Foetal Positioning to try and get him into a good spot. Big hugs to you as you travel this last part of the journey x

[Almi]

Don't worry, I'm sure your baby will come, and he will come in the position that is right for him.

It probably doesn't make you feel better, but my mom had her first child exactly three weeks late, and he was perfectly perfect. :)

[mamagranola28]

First off, I want to say how lovely you look.  Your pregnant belly is so beautiful.  Pregnancy can be so demanding and tiring especially at the end when it feels like the baby won't come out!  Dr. Sarah Buckley says no women was ever pregnant forever!  It sounds like maybe your baby is still finding the ideal position for birth.  spinningbabies.com could help ease your baby into a better position if needed.  If you feel like there is no medical indication for a check up from a midwife then I would say keep taking good care of yourself, eat well, check in with baby, get lots of good quality protein and water to keep pre-e away, do gentle relaxing things like yoga and have lots of SEX!  I've also heard from a doula friend that oral semen is best but I don't know if that's true.... Good Luck!

Leah

[sunflwrmoonbeam]

You sound a lot like me, complete with the bp numbers and GTT issues. I have PCOS and am consequently fat, and wound up gaining about 30 pounds. 15-20 is perfectly normal, and judging from the size of your belly, it's all there. Plus, my belly was similarly huge, so I know just how you're feeling.

I went into labor at 42w1d, and those last weeks were torture. But having gone overdue, I can promise you that there are benefits. My baby, born at 42+3 (homebirth with a midwife -->c-section due to brow presentation) had no jaundice, no glucose issues. I was home in my bed 32 hours after my c-section. My baby came out strong and healthy, literally holding her head up (see cause for c-section). I never had a floppy newborn, and she had a great latch from the from the get go. As annoying as those last few weeks are, next time around I honestly hope I have a 42 weeker. They are so much easier from what I've seen.

And all babies come out. If I were you I'd spend the next few days doing spinning babies exercises, and pick up a copy of Spiritual Midwifery. If you'd like, I can tell you the page numbers of all the "I went overdue and everything was wonderful" stories; the helped keep me sane. Just remember, the average first time mom pops at 41+1 or 3, and 95% are born by 42. You'll be fine!

[elisheva]

Wait - OP, you mentioned persistent headache. That would be a cause of worry for me as it can be a sign of pre-e. Your bp still sounds normal enough but the headaches might give me pause if I were you. Can you get urine strips to verify you aren't spilling protein?

FWIW, I've controlled my end-of-pregnancy high bp with diet during two pregnancies - no wheat and no sugar/honey/etc. I don't know why it works. In my first preg they told me I had undiagnosed GD but I'm fairly sure I would have passed the GTT had I taken it. Now I track my blood sugar in the 3rd trimester and I've never had anything out of the range of high-normal even with eating sugar and wheat. Still the sugar and wheat seem to affect my bp so there you are...

[dayiscoming2006]

I've never gone over but I've been overweight with my past 2 pregnancies. I started around 178 with my first and ended at 235! I was still perfectly fine and so was baby though. I wouldn't recommend that though of course. With my second I was at 189 and ended around 213. That was a normal gain. Also, I was perfectly fine and baby was fine that time as well. Gaining 15-20 lbs when you are overweight is right about right.

Do, what you feel in your gut you need to do. I got dizzy and had headaches toward the end of my first pregnancy but was perfectly healthy in my doctor's eyes so, it could mean something or not. My blood pressure did get a tinch borderline at the end as well with my first but we ended up fine. 

[a-o-t-e]

Just wondering how youre going Blue Spiral? hugs your way x

[Blue_Spiral]

Hey,

Sorry I haven't responded. I have so much I want to say I couldn't decide lol. So, I guess I'll just update the situation.

I'm still pregnant.

Braxton hicks are more frequent and intense, kind of out of the blue. So... we can hope.

And the discharge has gotten really watery, with almost the tiniest hint of being oily? I'm not sure what that means, but there's a lot of it. I sat on the toilet lid after a shower yesterday and there was a tiny puddle on the towel. I don't think it's amniotic fluid since that's the only time anything like that happened. It doesn't smell "sweet" like people say, either.

I don't know... that's just what's going on right now.

Edited by Blue_Spiral - 12/1/10 at 4:27pm

[Blue_Spiral]

This has really messed up so many things.

My husband's work schedule, for example. This idiot at his work just suddenly decides to take 2 weeks off.

From the very beginning he told them he needed a week off for the baby, and now that it's gone into December when his coworker is gone, it is going to leave them super short-handed. (He works at a hotel).

His new boss didn't even know he planned to take a week off, even though the two previous managers were totally aware of it. Now it's a disaster.

And, on a smaller scale, we can't put the tree and decorations up in the living room until the birth pool is out of there.

My body is starting to give out, too. The pain is getting more and more severe and more and more constant in my pelvis, pubic bone and thighs and hips. Sitting and lying down kills my hips and thighs, so I want to get up. But, walking has recently become incredibly painful, and I feel like I just shouldn't walk around.

It's just so discouraging. I'm going to have to start thinking soon about going to a midwife or something. I feel like it's just not right. For some people 44 weeks is fine, but I'm starting to feel like I can't or shouldn't go much longer.

I know in my gut that he is ready.

This isn't something I planned on. It never crossed my mind that this could happen to ME or what it would mean if it did.

I figured something would come up I didn't expect, but I am entirely prepared for that in the birth scenario. I mean, as much as possible. But this didn't even occur to me. OK, it did, but I just knew it wouldn't happen to ME. HA. I guess dreams CAN predict the future :(

How much further is this going to go? I mean, there's nothing I can do about it. No natural "nudges" are working, and I don't want to try any herbs or castor oil, and I refuse a hospital induction.

Edited by Blue_Spiral - 12/1/10 at 9:06pm

[a-o-t-e]

Are you able to find someone who can do reflexology on you? Would you consider homeopathics to nudge things along? If not then are you able to access Bowen Therapy? (or an alternative that would work for you). My doula helped my labour along in my last pregnancy with my son who went 16 days over, and I felt EXACTLY like you did, that it wasnt ok for me to go on. She did reflexology for me (painful!), I took some homeopathics she recomended and my partner did these regular stretch and sweeps on my cervix. A day and a half of that regimen and my labour started. I had a longish prelabour (6hrs) and a 6hr labour. My son was very over cooked, he peeled his whole body after he was born, not just a little cracked skin, but he shed like a snake lol. He was also super alert.

 I'm so sorry that your dh's work are being such arses, you dont need that on top of everything else. I hear you on the tree thing too. I have said no tree till the babies are born, and my partner is a big 'put up the tree on the 1st' kind of person, so I feel that pressure too.

 All I can suggest is to follow your gut. Seek out someone if that is what you feel you need, but think of who it would be and what the repercussions of each choice would/could be. Timing wise youre 14 days over now? That is still within normal, but if it doesnt feel right, then listen to that.

Many hugs your way x

[rainbow_mandala]

Not sure if this helps but I thought I'd mention that when I got to the point with my first where I didn't feel like I could go on (it hurt to walk, sitting was also not very comfortable) and I felt like the baby was ready...that's when labor finally started up.  I didn't do anything to get it started, it started on its own.  So what you're experiencing might be a favorable sign   If your intuition is telling you that the baby is an awkward position and that's what is impeding labor then don't ignore that...maybe a chiropractor can help, if you're comfortable with that.

[rainbow_mandala]

How's it going today, Blue_Spiral?

[Blue_Spiral]

I've been debating back and forth about seeing a chiropractor.

I am in the minority that doesn't actually like them. My whole family loves them and I grew up being encouraged to go, but as an adult I came to the conclusion that they do more harm than good.

That's just my experience. I can explain further if anyone wants to know...

But... I do believe that the body can get out of alignment, and a chiropractor is the only profession I know of that understands the process of correcting it.

The last couple nights I have woken up with extreme neck pain. It goes away by morning, but is always kind of gently lingering as achiness and at night it's just freaking painful.

I've had some mild sciatic discomfort (except one or two days in the second trimester when it was debilitating) and I also have had knee problems since about 4 years old, and so I just feel like it might be wise to have my body checked out.

I don't know. I'm on the fence...

[Renai]

Originally Posted by Blue_Spiral 

I've been debating back and forth about seeing a chiropractor.

I am in the minority that doesn't actually like them. My whole family loves them and I grew up being encouraged to go, but as an adult I came to the conclusion that they do more harm than good.

That's just my experience. I can explain further if anyone wants to know...

But... I do believe that the body can get out of alignment, and a chiropractor is the only profession I know of that understands the process of correcting it.

The last couple nights I have woken up with extreme neck pain. It goes away by morning, but is always kind of gently lingering as achiness and at night it's just freaking painful.

I've had some mild sciatic discomfort (except one or two days in the second trimester when it was debilitating) and I also have had knee problems since about 4 years old, and so I just feel like it might be wise to have my body checked out.

I don't know. I'm on the fence...

I completely understand your feelings. If I went off our first experience with chiros, we'd be turned off for life. She was basically a quack who took our money (for a little over a month with more than one visit a week!). When another incident happened (a year after our first chiro experience) that a chiro was the best to handle, we got a new reference. We've been with him for over 5 years now (we only go when needed). He basically told my husband that he could crack his back till kingdom comes, and it wouldn't help- not on its own (the first only "adjusted" dh). There were specific exercises he (the 2nd chiro) gave my husband to do to get his muscles back working correctly, in conjunction with the adjustments. My husband noticed a difference after the first appointment. I'm seeing him during this pregnancy and have noticed a difference in ligament pain and pelvis alignment. The baby even settles in a better position. A good chiro can make all the difference.

Good luck in your decision.

[a-o-t-e]

Blue Spiral, look into Bowen Therapy. Chiro doesnt really work with me either, but Bowen has been a godsend, and also helps with alignment etc.

 How are you feeling with your journey?

[Renai]

Wow. If we'd had that experience more than once, we would have given up on chiros too. Thankfully, the second one has been good. And, yes, I have heard of doing gentle adjustment on a newborn. It's not something I'm planning on doing, but have heard testimony from a couple of mothers who said the birth was hard on the baby, didn't seem comfortable or something, but after adjustment were fine.

[Blue_Spiral]

I can understand that. I would never do it, but that makes more sense.

They were just going to start doing it routinely on the baby, regardless of the birth (which DID end up being traumatic, btw. So, maybe it was a good thing, I don't know. She had a hospital birth purely because she had worked at that hospital and thought it would be fun to have her friends as nurses. Brilliant move. NOT. How fun having your friends strapping you down and pumping you full of pitocin.)
 

Originally Posted by Renai 

Wow. If we'd had that experience more than once, we would have given up on chiros too. Thankfully, the second one has been good. And, yes, I have heard of doing gentle adjustment on a newborn. It's not something I'm planning on doing, but have heard testimony from a couple of mothers who said the birth was hard on the baby, didn't seem comfortable or something, but after adjustment were fine.