Potty learning advice PLEASE!

[ians_mommy]

Seasoned Mamas I need you help!

Our situation:

My DS turned 3 two weeks ago. We started introducing the idea of a potty over a year ago- had it sitting in the bathroom and he would occasionally sit on it- but didnt really aactively try to potty-learn.

About two months ago we became more active with potty-learning and started to regularly offer the potty and he would have a successful pee about 50-75% of the day.

Last week was "parent-teacher" conference at his daycare and his lead teacher mentioned that he will go about 50% of the time when offered at school (especially if other litttle guys are going), but wanted us to "work a little harder at home".

I have four days off of work, so yesterday I was ready with brand new underpants, a bottle of Tide, M&Ms and high hopes. I let him run around in his underware or sans underware all day (no carpet and an enclosed yard, so no big deal). I offered the potty every 30 minutes. We did not have one single success- not one. In fact, he would pee on the floor right after refusing the toilet and exiting the bathroom. I did not freak out. I would say, "uh oh, that's not where pee goes. Pee goes in the toilet. Now help Mama clean up". He would cheerfully wipe up his pee and take off his undies and move on- only to refuse the potty and pee on the floor again.

I am real discouraged. Do I try again today or wait for another week or two? Is something wrong with my approach?

Here's the caveat: I am military and I just drug my family through a horrible move. We were sent from our last home (only one DS ever knew) in NC to TX for 2 months while I took a course I need for promotion. While there we lived in "corporate housing", so did not have any of our own stuff (all in transit to our next permanent duty station). After I completed the course we were sent to our current duty station in Hawaii. It took us over 2 months to get into our new home, during which time we live in three different hotels. We are settled in now with all his toys/bed etc and there won't be any more moving for at least three years. I guess I offer up this information because I know it has been hard on him...my family makes so many sacrifices for me

Help

[maddymama]

Hi Mama,

Here is my experience, kids will potty learn when they are ready to learn and not a minute sooner. It sounds like you have been through the ringer lately and that you are doing all the right things.

I'd pretty much drop it for a bit (other than talking about it alot).  I *might* just focus on one or two potties a day (maybe first thing in the morning and right after nap) and try to get 100% success on those before I tried anything else.

It also sounds like he's perceiving that he is getting more attention from a miss than a potty.  Maybe really play up the successes and really downplay the missess more than you are. 

Good luck!

~maddymama

[ekh]

10This sounds exactly like our experience until 3 days ago (minus the success at daycare)! My daughter WOULD NOT go on the potty, would pee on the floor right after sitting on the potty, etc. She just started using the potty with some success a few days ago and I have no idea why, except that maybe she was ready. Good luck!

[faithrainbow]

It seems to me like your little guy has just had more change than he can take, lately.  I'd give it a rest.  But one thing you can do to start laying the groundwork is to wait about a week, then start getting excited about everybody ELSE who goes to the potty in your house: you get excited when dad goes potty, dad gets excited when you go, both of you get excited when guests go.  It can be fun and funny, and MAY encourage your son to think about it a little differently.  Or maybe he just needs to feel more settled.

[MommaKitten21]

I just wanted to post we are in the same boat! We just PCS'ed as well, and it was definitely the worst one as well. My DH was gone when the baby came, so our son dealt with his dad being gone, then adding a new baby, and then a big move! It's a lot on these young ones ya know? DH and I have decided to just wait and see how things go. We went to Barnes and Noble and bought him a couple potty books, and he will take his stuffed animals to the potty, but he wants nothing to do with it at all.

I think as military families we have a unique challenge on top of normal parenting. I think I am just going to keep trying every few weeks and see how it goes. Best of luck, and know you aren't alone, mama!!

[lifeguard]

If you are going to pursue it more I would not ask him if he needs to go. Ds will pretty much always tell me no. I bring him to the potty every 2 hours if he doesn't ask before simply saying "it's time to go potty". Sometimes he squawks a bit but 90% of the time he will then pee when I sit him there. Also, after every. single. accident I bring him to the potty to sit (often for less than 5 sec) & then I clean up the mess.

It may be true that children will potty train when they are ready but it still takes a little work on our part. Ds was not verbal enough when I started potty learning to initiate the process on his own but he still proved he was quite ready by picking it up fairly quickly. But I cleaned up quite a few messes in the process.