weekly chat: nov 28th - dec 4th

[samstress]

yes, it's still november, but thought it'd be ok to restart the weekly chat thread.

hope everyone had a lovely thanksgiving (for those of you who celebrate such a thing).  our's was pretty low key.  went to the in-laws.  it was just me, dh, dd and dh's parents.  dinner was delicious and the hot apple cider was quite yummy (i enjoyed many mugfuls).  dd and i spent the whole day in our jammies (why not?)  it was in the 30s most of the day so we spent most of the day near the fire.  in-laws live in the mountains, but it never gets that cold where we are, so that was fun too.  reminiscent of home (i grew up in new england).  just a really relaxing day.  very nice.

the rest of the weekend was a trip to fresno for the state meet.  dh is a high school x-country coach and his boys team (the girls team didn't make it this year) made it to the state meet.  finished third in their division.  was a really great time.  so proud of them (and of dh, of course).  dd had a great time.  she loves going to races and watching "papa's team".  dh secretly hopes dd will be a runner one day (and, of course, would love to coach her one day), but no pressure.  he assumes because of what he does any children we have will hate running.  we'll see.  anyway, a great weekend.     

i'm now 17 weeks (almost 18) and FINALLY started feeling some movement this week.  not a lot, but i've been feeling it everyday, so i feel pretty good about that.  didn't feel movement with dd until the same time, but with her i was so sick that i never doubted that everything was ok.  with this one, i haven't been sick for several weeks now.  feeling good.  not nearly as tired as i was in the beginning.  i'm even getting back to my night owl tendencies.  also starting to walk a lot more and doing some prenatal yoga at home.

been looking into doulas.  since getting laid off last month, having a homebirth seems pretty much out of the question because i just don't see how we can swing it financially.  i hate that it comes down to money, but i don't know what else to do.  anyway, i was recommended to a group of doulas, but i was looking into it and their fees range from $800 to $2000.  am i completely out of touch, or is this a bit high?  i was thinking more around the $500 range, but maybe i'm being too optimistic. 

hope everyone is well and has a great week.

-sam

[clutterbug]

Whoa, that seems high for a doula, at least around these parts.  I think here it's in the 500-600 range.  If we end up going with hospital birth, I am going to look into getting a doula as well.  There is a volunteer program here that is free (doulas have DONA-approved training), I think I am going to go that route and give a donation we can afford instead of hiring private.  I think.  I dunno.

I hear you about the money thing.  We paid for our birth out of pocket last time, but our financial position was better than now, three years later.  This time, midwifery care is free, but we are having a devil of a time getting in with the local midwives.  There is a possible option (if they still have space - it is seeming late to still have openings!) of seeing the midwives about an hour from here, but that means that around 37 weeks, I would have to become a 'resident' of that community - rent a place to stay (which still wouldn't be home, kwim?) and park ourselves there to wait for the baby.  It would also mean driving an hour each way for each prenatal appointment, most of which will be in the winter months.  Plus it would probably mean being away from DH during the week (he will still have to work, so would have to stay here!) and pulling DS out of school for that time.  Financially and logistically, it just doesn't seem feasible.  My doctor is fine with discharging me 6 hours after the birth, so it almost seems like staying home as long as possible during labour, zipping into hospital to push out the baby, and then getting our butts back to our own bed ASAP is the more attractive option.  Wow, I can't even believe I am thinking this way, but when I weigh it all out, that's the way it looks.  My doctor is awesome, and I have already had an intervention and drug-free free birth (except for antibiotics for GBS, which I approved in advance) at this hospital...otherwise, I would feel differently.  Still really disappointing if we don't get midwifery care and home birth, but I am trying to prepare myself now for that possibility.

[ibusymomto5]

Hi ladies! Thanks for starting a weekly thread. The length of the other one was intimidating.

Samstress - That sounds like a cozy and relaxing Thanksgiving! I have no idea about the going cost for doulas, but I will say that my mw doesn't charge much more than the high end of that. So, it does seem high to me. Hope you can find something that will work out for you. Oh, and yeah for baby movement and feeling good again!

Bluepetals - Wow, I can see where you would lean towards the hospital birth under those circumstances, especially since you already had a good experience there before. Here's hoping that something works out with the local mws or that you are blessed with another great hospital experience.

AFM - We had a great Thanksgiving here at our house with my parents and brother and his family over. Dh announced our news to everyone just before we sat down to eat. I think my SIL kind of knew, because I caught her staring at my belly shortly after they got here. The men were oblivious though, hee hee, and acted genuinely surprised and happy. All us older girls left at almost midnight and went Black Friday shopping. The crowds were crazy, but we had a good time anyway and got some good deals, laughed at the silliest of things and enjoyed Sbarro pizza in the mall at 3am. Then yesterday we put up all our Christmas decorations.

I've got my big u/s scheduled for Friday, and I'm nervous to see if everything is okay. I haven't noticed much movement at all in the last several days, but maybe it's because I've been so busy with holiday stuff? I can't help but worry a little that something has gone wrong though.

[camprunner]

busymom: with my last one, I felt her jumping on my bladder at 13 weeks and rarely felt her for the rest of pregnancy. She is really healthy so hopefully everything will go well for you too :)

I've been thinking some more about after the baby is born.  I was just thinking for the last couple of days how nice it was after my first was born because since my attention wasn't split, it was easy to get her on a schedule and pay attention just to her.  It was great today when my mother in law asked if she could have my older ones for a week or two after the baby is born. Yay! I did request that they be here for the week after the baby is born but believe me, them taking the kids is way better than them helping out around the house!

[Evergreen]

My food aversions are changing. I used to only want really salty fatty type foods but now I am wanting fresh veggies, fruits and cold things like sorbet.  I hope this means that the nausea is going away.

[annaconda]

Hi everyone!  Sam that sounds like a great day - cozy and jammies indeed.

Hope you all had a great thanksgiving!  I was on the road with my family for the week.  It was a lot of visiting... I'm very glad to be home and have done the big trip home before getting big-bellied and having trouble getting around.  I came home with the start of lots of baby stuff for the baby room...  neat!  We played with a new McLaren stroller we got on sale last night.  It has lots of moving parts.  I'm glad I have a lot of time to practice.

Seventeen weeks today... haven't really felt any movement that I can say for certain is the baby.  Lots of times I can feel movement where he/she likes to hang out but I'm never CERTAIN.  It's my first so I'm guessing it will become more evident in time.

Big scan and next apt on 12/9... I'm nervous about food and exercise till then as I know I probably gained a bit.  I tried to keep portions good but I know there was butter and desserts abounding and I did have my fair share.  Feeling a little bit of pressure to eat low-carb low fat for 1.5 weeks till the weigh in.  I'm not sure if this is ED guilt talking or not... (eating disorder).  I did workout a few times while I was gone but not since Wednesday.  Thoughts?  Support?  I'm in the obese category and am only supposed to put on 10-15 lbs.  I didn't gain in first tri but am nervous about since my last apt.

[KarenMT]

Hi All,

Sam, that does sound like a lot for a doula.  I had a doula with my first daughter and it was about $500.  I am exactly where you are with a homebirth.  I was not laid off but DH was laid off about 1.5 yrs ago, just as we closed on a new home and I had just returned to work full-time after 12 weeks on maternity leave, so childcare costs for two kids was insane- the bills piled up and we are really trying to get rid of any debt before this next babe arrives.  I have my 18 week scan next week and have some serious questions to discuss with the midwife in the practice.  I am just feeling very uneasy about testing/induction at the end of pregnancy.  I am very much against that.  I have had fast labors and was GBS+ with my last pregnancy.  I had a homebirth and just did the hibiclens protocol but I know hospitals are a bit nutty about IV antibiotics.

I was 17 weeks yesterday and sort of stressing that I haven't felt more movement but when I laid down for bed last night I totally put my hands on the full baby bump and was shocked at all the movement I could feel in that way.  Very reassuring.  I was a bit stressed about movement but I didn't even feel a flutter from DD1 until 17 weeks and I think with DD2 it was about 16 weeks so I'm not off at all.

My big scan is next week on 12/9 as well.  I haven't been eating a lot of extra but the pounds have come on easily so I think a lot must be all the "stuff" that baby is comprised of that would account for it.  I'm not going to worry though as I've been eating healthy.  My only issue is making sure I am drinking enough.  I always find it so difficult to get close to the recommended water/fluid. 

[Evergreen]

Originally Posted by KarenMT 

 I have my 18 week scan next week and have some serious questions to discuss with the midwife in the practice.  I am just feeling very uneasy about testing/induction at the end of pregnancy.  I am very much against that.  I have had fast labors and was GBS+ with my last pregnancy.  I had a homebirth and just did the hibiclens protocol but I know hospitals are a bit nutty about IV antibiotics.

Karen (or anyone!) have you tried doing the Hibiclens before the test so you are sure to be negative then. I've never done it but GBS is the one medical thing about pregnancy that is freaking me out. I was thinking of doing it at about 35 weeks and continuing til birth just to help avoid GBS. My midwife will not have antibiotics and I don't want to go to the hospital just for that. I may decide to go for other reasons (still on the fence about the epidural) but I don't want that to be the sole influencing factor.
 

[ryleeee]

just HOW bad is it to sleep on your back?? i never realized how much i slept on my back until a friend of mine mentioned that if you sleep on your back you'll kill your baby...

 uhhhh...seriously?! why didn't i remember this from my first pregnancy?! i am horrified. i must subconsciously think about this while i am sleeping because i find myself waking up on my back at all times of the night and freaking out because i was SURE that i slept mostly on my right side but also on my left. *sigh* is the baby still too little for it to make a huge difference? 

[sonshine_rae]

It's a questionable issue, as to whether sleeping on your back is a problem, but even if it were it's not really much danger until late pregnancy when there is a lot of baby weight.

'Some' say that sleeping on your back cuts off blood/oxygen supply to the baby, or at least reduces it, and could be dangerous to the baby.

I've honestly never heard of a 'real' case where this was dangerous, and for most of us it just becomes uncomfortable to sleep on our backs during late pregnancy anyway.. hence all the side sleeping pillows made for pregnancy.

[Evergreen]

I don't remember anything about pregnancy (we were supposed to be done and I blocked it all out lol!)

Buuuut- I am thinking it's late pregnancy because the extra weight can suppress the vena cava BUT if that starts to happen most women just switch positions on their own anyway.

[clutterbug]

Originally Posted by Evergreen 

Buuuut- I am thinking it's late pregnancy because the extra weight can suppress the vena cava BUT if that starts to happen most women just switch positions on their own anyway.

That is my understanding as well....that it becomes uncomfortable to be on your back for this reason, and so you shift positions naturally.  Also, you can put a pillow under one hip/side so that you're on your back but actually sloped sideways (if that makes any sense)...it helps shifts the uterus and takes the pressure off. 
 

annaconda, I am in the obese category too.  According to the scales at the doctor's and my rough guesstimate of what I was when I got pregnant (I am almost hoping I underestimated!) I have gained 21 pounds already...when I weigh on my own scale in the morning, so I'm comparing apples to apples, it's 15 pounds.  I am 18 weeks tomorrow.  Dear heaven.  And I thought I was doing better than my previous pregnancies!!  I had to laugh because the nurse at the appointment (it was my first, so it was a big long intake interview) gave me a big handout about what to aim for in terms of weight gain and said I should be aiming for 15 pounds....ummmm, I think that ship has sailed, lady, look at my chart!  It is hard not to just throw my hands up in the air (the mode I am kind of in right now) because no matter what I do, this is where I am at this point in pregnancy, and I can expect to be up 50 or more by birth, with 35 of that dropping off within a week or so of baby's arrival.  I swear I put on a TON of fluid weight, otherwise how could I lose so much so fast (17 pounds is baby etc, but there's still another 18 that just DROPS without any effort).

[sonshine_rae]

Bluepetals.. that's interesting.. as my last couple of pregnancies I gained 47 and 51 lbs each (first one I barely gained 20lbs AND had water weight and started underweight.. no wonder baby was born early, and tiny (6lbs 2oz), I also lost 40lbs within a year post-partum from my first pregnancy!).  The last couple of babies were both over 8lbs and within a 1.5 weeks of my estimated due date.

I lose close to half of the weight fairly quickly .. then the rest sloughs off over the next year usually.  I typically start either underweight or barely at a normal weight though, so don't feel bad even normal to low weight people gain a lot sometimes.

Although in contrast so far.. at almost 15 weeks I've only gained 4lbs (if I weigh in the mornings, at night I often have 2-4lbs of extra weight possibly water.. that's gone by morning).  That actually worries me a tad, considering that I normally gain more by now.. I'm afraid it's due to my health issues/dietary restrictions :(.

[Evergreen]

i have gained 13 lbs at 14 weeks despite throwing up every single day. I don't know what kind of bizarro wold I am living in.

[Crystalyn]

So glad this is back to weekly.. thank you!  The other thread just became long and intimidating, so I bowed out... I just couldn't keep up :-)

I have my 16 week OB appt. in about 30 minutes, and I'm eager to see how much I've gained.  I'm afraid I might receive a lecture... I've had such a sweet tooth lately.

More soon! and glad to be back :-)

[KarenMT]

Originally Posted by Evergreen 

Karen (or anyone!) have you tried doing the Hibiclens before the test so you are sure to be negative then. I've never done it but GBS is the one medical thing about pregnancy that is freaking me out. I was thinking of doing it at about 35 weeks and continuing til birth just to help avoid GBS. My midwife will not have antibiotics and I don't want to go to the hospital just for that. I may decide to go for other reasons (still on the fence about the epidural) but I don't want that to be the sole influencing factor.
 

I had a hospital birth with DD1 but was GBS negative and then I had a home birth with DD2 and was GBS positive.  My midwife protocol was to do a hibiclens douche every 3 hrs in labor.  Well, my labor was only 1.5 hrs total and I didn't even realize I was in labor until my water broke- then I did the Hibiclens and DD2 was born 40 mins later.  I have been doing a lot of reading about "helping" oneself to test negative, which includes taking raw garlic cloves that are cut, wrapping the clove in string/floss and inserting like a tampon for a week prior to testing.  Other stuff says to do this plus the hibiclens within 6 hrs of the test.  I had a LOT of issues with yeast infections and just bad immune function with my DD2 so not surprised on the GBS +.  I have never given that part of my records to this midwife so will just hold out until I have to.  I know some practices treat you as positive if you have ever tested positive..... can you see I am stressed about this?  I am super prone to systemic yeast and was tortured with a thrush infection so the thought of mega doses of penicillin strikes major fear in me.

[clutterbug]

I was GBS+ my first pregnancy, so during my second my midwife recommended something similar to this for the week prior to my GBS swab...except I just bought these very handy suppositories at the natural health store, they were garlic and acidophilus (the package-described use was for yeast, but of course it is all good for warding off bad bacteria, too!).  They came with an applicator and I put one in every night before bed.  I screened negative :)  Going to do it again this time for sure...if I end up at hospital, I want an early discharge and I'm not confident they will let me go happily if I test positive.

I hope they don't consider you tainted for life because of testing + in one pregnancy!  How silly - you can change status by the week, for heaven's sake!  Argh!

Originally Posted by KarenMT 
I have been doing a lot of reading about "helping" oneself to test negative, which includes taking raw garlic cloves that are cut, wrapping the clove in string/floss and inserting like a tampon for a week prior to testing.

[MamaChef]

samstress,
It all depends on the area.  That sounds like LA/NYC prices.. I know a couple doulas in this area that charge 1500-1900 here in the SEA/TAC area but they package in other services.  I personally charged 900-1200, but it included 3-5 sessions of childbirth hypnosis and birth photography/video as well.  My standard doula fee is 600 for just day of and a CD of images/unedited video.  I bring alot of stuff to births, like a pregnancy rocker,balls, birth stool, rebozo, tens unit and all the other stuff like heat packs and comfort measures.  I've attended a couple hundred births at this point.  Im sure you can find someone who is passionate and just starting out for much cheaper.

annaconda,  I totally hear you on the weight.  Im supposed to gain 15 and it is stressing me out.  Ive decided 20 is my number, I dont care what the charts say.  I feel alot more comfortable with that number.  I gained 3.3lbs over the last week and a half and Im back down 2.1lb and Im not excited about the lb in a week at all.  I was downright depressed with the 3.3lbs, but it seems like it was food and water weight, so Im thankful it's not as bad as it was looking.  Ive got an appt on Thursday with the midwife and Im just trying to be as zen as possible about it.  Im going to discuss with her how I feel about the numbers.  Im up 4.7 lbs total at 17 weeks.  I am going to go back to low carb - Ive tried to keep it pretty low fat and low sugar.. but Im not going to feel bad about enjoying the holiday.

rylee,
Typically you will pass out before you would hurt the baby sleeping on your back.  But, the technical reason is that on your back your baby is likely to lay on your main artery that delivers blood to the baby and the bottom half of your body.  So, ideally, you lay on your left side because that artery is over to the right.  If you are worried about it, put a pillow under your right side and that should shift everything over enough.

_________________________________________________________________________________

Im going to ask this question again, because Im seriously not coming up with anything and it is driving me crazy.  Anyone want to share what they are getting their partners for Christmas?  My husband is uber hard to shop for and I just dont have the energy to ferret out something by spending hours and hours looking.  LOL.

Baby has been squiggling alot less the last week because we have been so busy.  I actually got the doppler back out because baby was so active before.  Strong hb immediately even with no goopy jell, 150s.. so, yeah.  The last couple days there has been a little more action at bed time, but I really have to concentrate on it.  Ill be going to the midwife on Thursday so Im guessing we will schedule the big scan appt for sometime the 2nd or third week of Dec.  

Im excited for the holidays, just went and bought DD a Christmas dress for when we go see the Nutcracker.  I cant wait.  She is going to love it.  I also finally ordered fabric for all my christmas sleepwear projects.  Hubby has wanted a pair of bamboo velour sleep pants for 3 christmas' now.  Im going to do this fabric on the outside and the the obv on the inside http://www.fabricshack.com/cgi-bin/Store/store.cgi?cart_id=3334686.6920.s0&product=moda_weewoodland&productid=moda32342-13f&keywords1=mushroom&sales=0&lastmenu=  do you ladies think it's masculine enough?  I know there are a few flowers, but I cant find any other flannel with mushrooms.

Then Im going to make DD and I nightgowns out of christmas flannel
Hers will be:  http://www.fabricshack.com/cgi-bin/Store/store.cgi?cart_id=3334686.6920.s0&product=moda_12daysofchristmasflannel--s25&productid=moda27022-13f&sales=0&lastmenu=submenu-6000.html
and mine is
http://www.fabricshack.com/cgi-bin/Store/store.cgi?cart_id=3334686.6920.s0&product=moda_12daysofchristmasflannel--s25&productid=moda27022-11f&sales=0&lastmenu=submenu-6000.html  
Ill trim hers with mine and vice versa.  If I have enough flannel left over from DH's pants I was going to make her a long sleep shirt to match.  He gets boxers out of our leftover fabric and a red shirt to match our nightclothes.  It's one of my favorite Christmas traditions, we open nightclothes and one present the night before and then wear them all day Christmas day.  I really hope my fabric gets here this week so I dont have to rush to get it all done.  I totally took advantage of the online sales the last few days and am basically done with Christmas shopping other then DH and some kind of doll or stuffed animal for DD.

Ive also decided Im going to depart from the norm and do something really easy for Christmas dinner this year.  Im either going to do tamales or lasagna with a nice green salad and a great dessert and something decadent for brunch like a quiche or challah french toast bake.  Whatever I dont do Christmas, we'll do Christmas eve.  Im not doing another huge meal with a bazillion sides since we are just planning on having it be us and I dont want to have alot of left overs taunting me to eat them.

[Evergreen]

We don't get each other anything for Christmas. We don't really "do" christmas actually. The kids each get a stocking, a present from us and a present from Santa. Sorry  :(

[Evergreen]

Oh yeah, I had a really strange dream last night.

I was pregnant with quintuplets. I had one baby, a perfect baby girl but then it was time to have the others and my doctor told me that sometimes with multiples some of the babies just disappear so I only had one more to go and I gave birth to him through my mouth. In front of a mirror.

Then there was an alternate ending. After I'd had the baby girl I climbed up in a top bunk of a bunk bed in a beach rental house a few hours later and had the other four. I guess they hadn't disappeared in this ending. but they came out as frosted cherry poptarts and we had to put them in the toaster to turn them into babies.