When traveling to households that have drastically different eating habits.....

[simplicityissanity]

so traveling to visit in-laws....... I love my in-laws, but they have your basic SAD (standard American diet), to the level that I will often feel physically ill if I eat what they serve. I believe in being a gracious guest and respectful of hte traditions of others when it comes to food, but I don't like the way I feel after eating processed cheese, wonder-white bread, pancake syrup, lots of grease and sugar. Everything is served in massive portions and my MIL expresses affection through food, and is highly offended if her food is not eaten. I should mention that my in-laws are very overweight and I have always been a slender person. THey always comment on my weight in a negative fashion (I am at a very healthy weight for my height, bone structure....... etc).

so far I have been just trying to limit how much of the food I eat so I don't feel as sick, (we usually only stay a day or two). However I am nursing now and am eating like a horse. I pack snacks that I can eat when my in-laws are around, something with lots of protein like raw almonds. Now that my LO is eating solids I prepare and pack food for him (they seem fine with that), I pack more food for him than I think he will eat, so I will then "finish" his food for him, cheese, fresh fruit, chunks of veggies, etc.

Another layer is that my husband is overweight as well, but has been making significant strides in eating healthy and excercising..... however when we travel he always seems to struggle with his eating when we return home and during the trip, consuming large amounts of soda, etc.

Anyway I don't mean to sound like a snot, but I dont' like feeling ill after meals. Has anyone else dealt with this? Any suggestions??  

[HappyMommy2]

Well, I think you should choose your battles.  Sounds like you have a plan for you and your little one, and let DH eat the nasty food & soda for a couple days.

Would MIL be offended if you said, "oh, I have this wonderful recipe I have been excited to try!"...???  If you could add a side dish of something healthy, that would be an option for you at dinner to help fill up. 

Can you say something about just wanting water (not soda) because you are nursing, or your tummy isn't well?

[Arduinna]

What we did, was choose to not stay in their home. And always eat before going over so that we weren't starving when we got there. Then eat the least offensive thing they had.

[simplicityissanity]

Absolutely understand about picking battles and DH is always free to eat as he chooses. Due to where in-laws live in relation to us, not staying with them overnight is not financialy viable for us. I do always drink water instead of soda, don't know why I mentioned the soda actually, just venting I suppose :).  Thanks for the side dish idea.

Love to hear any other ideas!

[plantnerd]

I second the side dish idea.  I pull this one out a lot when at potlucks or dinners at friend's who eat crap.  It helps that I'm known as a fantastic cook so it's always welcome.  That way I know there will be at least one tasty dish for me to eat.  My issue is less with the health angle- I can stand processed junk in moderation, but the blandness of other people's food is terrible.  My rule is generally if it doesn't taste fantastic don't eat it, which helps to curb my overeating tendencies.  I do have a token sample of other dishes though, because I don't want to be rude and snobby.   As far as appetite, snack like crazy and load up on fluids to help get by.

[HollyBearsMom]

I am a pick you battles kinda gal myself and feel that no food is truly bad if if it just a once in awhile thing.  By if the food makes your physically sick?? yikes then it must be REALLY bad!

This is not that same as in laws but....

We often stay with friends (who own a summer house) who are notorious junk food eaters. If it has been fried, packaged, chemically enhanced and colored they eat it.  They also like all their meats cooked really well done and their veggies boiled to death.  However they are great friends and we love them  plus who can miss out on free weekends/weeks at the beach??

So when we visit my "hostess gift" is always to cook a few meals. We discuss in advance and I either bring the stuff or shop there. I approach it as "You are so great to have us!  I would love to provide a couple of dinners as a thank you if that is OK?" then I get some menu input and we go from there.  I usually say let me bring breakfast stuff too.  She loves it because it is economical and gets her some time off from the kitchen detail. She often say she wishes her other friends and family would do the same!  You never know how many friends you have until you get a beach house, right?

I do make sure to cook plenty so there is leftovers to snack on and for lunches and then suck it up the rest of the time.

Would your MIL go for that??

[AFWife]

This might seem silly...but can you pull the "doctor" card? Like, "Well, the doctor told me recently that I shouldn't drink soda because it won't hydrate me and I need to stay hydrated while nursing!" Or "The doctor said I need to snack on fruit instead of chips because I need the vitamins while nursing."

[simplicityissanity]

Thanks for some of the other suggestions!

MIL I'm pretty sure would not allow me to cook in her kitchen (it is HER kitchen, not the kitchen in their home, kwim?). I might be able to sneak a side dish here and there though. I never drink soda there, I always carry my kk or a nalgene with me. I don't get physically sick as in throwing up or anything, but my stomach gets quesy and my blood sugar feels a way wonky after eating. I agree I need to pick battles and have no problem eating junk everynow and then, I just I don't know, I get frustrated that I feel yucky so often when we are there, makes me dread the visits.  I have notice I think that while nursing what I eat..... or don't eat seems to effect me more dramatically than when I am not nursing.   I try not to pull the 'I'm nursing so I should eat xyz' because while they are initially supportive of nursing that isn't becoming as popular as my LO gets older.

We do have friends who eat more proceeded than we do and we love to share cooking with, and it works great. I love it whhen others cook for me and my family! Sorry for the randomly organized post..... kept getting interupted :)

[mamadelbosque]

Thats my DH's family too. But they know I'm the 'weird one' and that I ea 'wierd food' :p I've taken to bringing something with me whenever we go - pasta salad, blueberry muffins, chili, etc and/or offering to cook while we're there. Even if we end up with grocery store meat that I wouldn't normally buy I still feel 100% better about eating it than eating whatever they have normally. And I just don't eat too much while we're there. :P

ETA: OH! And I blame bringing food on my boys - I bring stuff that they will eat and that I find to be decent - that way I'm 'bringing something good for them to eat' and everyone understands that - kids are picky, yk? :p

[InMediasRes]

I still haven't quite found a fix for this one myself. I have IBS and eating junk is a sure fire way for me to be in the bathroom the entire next day. It really is a hill for me to die on, and I'm a pick-your-battles type as well. Luckily, my MIL is diabetic and has taken to cooking differently since I've known her, and she also loves trying new recipes, so I give her the "less weird" ones that fit more with what I eat. I also offer to bring things like whole wheat flax rolls, a side dish, etc. Luckily, they live close so we often don't do more than one meal with them at a time.

[Sol_y_Paz]

Several options:

offer to make the food

bring food to fix and snacks

stash food and eat when you can from your stash

tell them you are on a diet

say you are not feeling the best to excuse yourself from eating a ton at meals

tell them your doctor told you to eat this way due to _____

[shnitzel]

My grandmother is just like your MIL. She is a food pusher and expresses love through food and they eat a ton of garbage although meals are healthy enough. I use the allergy excuse. DH is allergic to nuts and DD has never had nuts so I tell my grandmother we can't eat certain things b/c of possible allergens and she never double checks to make sure it doesn't have nuts. I am actually pretty relaxed and DD has the occasional lollipop or HFCS or transfat but when the crackers contain food colouring, HFCS, trans fats and MSG all in one there is no way I am feeding it to her. 

Can you invent an allergy or intolerance that you just discovered, which isn't a lie if it actually makes you sick or say you are avoiding xyz b/c of nursing?

[SpuglyRoo]

Originally Posted by shnitzel 

Can you invent an allergy or intolerance that you just discovered, which isn't a lie if it actually makes you sick or say you are avoiding xyz b/c of nursing?

MSG is in nearly everything (and not labeled clearly as such it can be labeled as anything including: flavors, artificial flavoring, natural flavoring, vegetable proteins, etc.)  You could say that you are sensitive to that.

[InMediasRes]

MSG is a big no-no for me. Is there a list of products somewhere that contain it if it's not mentioned on the label?
 

Originally Posted by SpuglyRoo 

Originally Posted by shnitzel 

Can you invent an allergy or intolerance that you just discovered, which isn't a lie if it actually makes you sick or say you are avoiding xyz b/c of nursing?

MSG is in nearly everything (and not labeled clearly as such it can be labeled as anything including: flavors, artificial flavoring, natural flavoring, vegetable proteins, etc.)  You could say that you are sensitive to that.

[HollyBearsMom]

 MSG is a big no-no for me. Is there a list of products somewhere that contain it if it's not mentioned on the label?
 

here is a good place to start:  http://www.truthinlabeling.org/hiddensources.html

[sosurreal09]

i always do the "oh let me cook, you never get a break" thing. shes always like yeah go ahead! im an amazing cook though if i do say so myself! DDs B-day cake was v*agan (im not v*agan but DD had a lot of intolerances) and know one even knew. i use v*gan butter as well as milk b/c we dont use dairy for moral reasons and know one ever knows!

or make dinner ahead of time and show up with it and say oh i wanted to surprise you!

i came from a very overweight family (mostly b/c we were poor and mac n cheese is like 30 cents) and whenever we go to my sis's place (shes so unbelieveably morbidly obese im afraid for her and have expressed this) she either wants to make baked mac n cheese or get takeout...so i always cook ahead of time and bring it over and said oh i knew you'd be tired from work ect so i just cooked ahead of time so we can nuke it. (shes very food obsessive and HAS to eat at certain times ect) she literally plans things around her eating times...its soooo sad. she will call me and say well i want to leave for you're house at 11 but im worried about lunch. do you have something prepared or should i pick something up? should i just come at 1 so i can eat?

[Smokering]

Hmm. Could you bring some frozen savoury muffins, homebaked bread etc? That way you wouldn't be cooking in her kitchen, but you could hand over a nice loaf of wholemeal focaccia with a smile and say "This is just a little thankyou gift, I thought we could have some with dinner".

Or could you afford to take them out for a meal, to a place with decent food (or a selection, so they could still opt for junk if they liked)? If you did it at lunch, then dinner could be "Ooh, I'm still stuffed, I'll just have a tiny bit"... and if you were really cunning, breakfast could be "I've heard such great things about this place, I'm going to save lots of room"! :p