I need help deschooling myself- radical unschoolers, please help! - Page 2

[midnightwriter]

It could be that he's trying out different social roles, and either thinks you wouldn't approve, or just simply needs to be free from being observed.  Do other children have their parents around when he's playing with them and asks you to leave?

6 months is really such a short time to deschool, and the new baby ads more stress / uncertainty for him. When people are stressed, they do not necessarily welcome too many choices-- could be an additional stressor for him--the responsibility for himself, and the expectation of good behaviour might be  heavy burden.

[umami_mommy]

i would recommend a book like "connection parenting." spend this time connecting with your son. respect his wishes. but ask that he speak to you in a polite manner when making his requests known. 

listen to him, follow his lead, ask him his opinion, request his help in solving issues. use this time to reestablish a relationship with him. don't focus too much on "what to do." instead ask yourself, "does this serve our connection?" use this as a foundation. once you have that, every thing else will be much much clearer to you. like parents adopting a child, focus on attachment and not too much else for 3-6 months. 

good luck!

[Natalya]

Piglet, that was the specific situation, he was in a different room, I went in to check on him and he asked that I leave.  I did feel that it was rude and I was embarrassed too.  Recently I have made a list of the things that I absolutely think are important (not be rude and unkind, and help the family by doing chores, considering others) and I enforce these two things.  Almost everything else I leave be.  Whoever said that he feels like a fish out of water I think is right.   Umami mommy, I appreciate your comment, and this is why I want to keep up with RU because I feel that I want a better connected relationship with my son.  It helps to be reminded of the reason why I am doing this all.  I wish I had more RU-ers around though, they seem to be rare!  :(