throwing, throwing, throwing

[mamapajama]

DS is throwing everything, everywhere, and in every situation. He really hurt a woman at playgroup today when he threw a car at her head. If I tell him not to throw, he throws harder. Ugh. He is obsessed with balls, all kinds and loves to throw them at people. I tell him we only throw things outside, and then when we go outside he throws his cup at a baby. Short of restraining his hands all waking hours (joke) there is no way to stop him from throwing. Oh, I guess I could bolt everything down. Can you tell i am very frustrated with the little monster? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He even will throw stuff at random people in stores who are saying hello to him.

Suggestions???
Pleeeeeeeze?

[LoveBeads]

I think the only thing you can do is gently remind him (especially when he is NOT throwing) about not throwing. When he is throwing, you can either redirect by showing him an appropriate way to throw (i.e., not at someone's head) or you can simply end the fun activity when he throws inappropriately.

Good luck! This too shall pass....

[MamaAllNatural]

Maybe he can start playing baseball? Really, he sounds like quite the thrower! But, of course this isn't good throwing. I think it's a great idea to get him doing positive things that involve throwing. Maybe it'll help get it out of his system. If it's real aggression (he's doing it because he wants to hurt people) maybe you can try to find out what's making him mad about them? Maybe he likes the reactions he's getting? I would make sure he's not getting a lot of negative attention about it, it's still attention after all. When he does throw something, I'd stop him quickly, tell him it's not ok (in whatever way you think is appropriate that he'll get the message the clearest) and then drop it. I wouldn't go on and on about it, because then it becomes a source of attention. In the mean time, keep your eye on the ball - and be ready to catch!

[ja mama]

Two thought immediately spring into my head.

1: all this talk about throwing, not throwing, throwing outside... is just refocusing him on throwing. Try telling him to roll the ball, drive the car, stack the block, eat the food... Use the positive words that give him an alternative, and don't reinforce what you don't want - throwing. After you're done talking, you don't want that one word to be swimming through his head "throwing, throwing, throwing"

2:Sometimes kids physically need to do an activity repeatedly, uninterrupted to learn and process it. He may be exploring how different things fly through the air, how far they go, what reaction they get, how his arm and hand feel when sending it, why some things go far and others fall short even though he threw them both as hard as he could, or how some items bounce when they land and others go thud. Give him an outlet to learn these things on his own so that he can process the information and move on to a new area of learning. Can you let him clean up by throwing the toys into a basket? Or give him a ball and an outside wall? They make suction cup balls that can be aimed safely at a sliding door with a minimum of danger to anything else. We threw laundry for a while, wadded up socks and such. There have to be some better suggestions I'm not thinking of now. Maybe someone else can help you there?

[sweetc]

Wonder if this is something that springs up around 21 months! My son is really into throwing right now too! Its like some sort of dangerous physics experiment.

What works best for us is to tell him what he can do with whatever is getting thrown inappropriately (That car is for driving. Can you drive it really fast for me?). And, to have a few things that he can throw in the house - nerf type balls, and a few soft cloth balls. Other than that, not much advice to offer. Maybe I'll find some ideas in response to your post.

Christine

[mosky22]

We have had this problem also with dd. I posted about it and another member sugested a method she used in her home day care. That is to take away the thrown object and put it up high on a shelf. This means by the end of the day you could have several, if not all, toys on the shelf. Then take them down and start over the next day. A milder version of this as well as lots of verbal disciplin had worked well for us. DD will throw stuff, but she doesn't throw AT people. I think this is a step in the right direciton.:

[mamalita]

Hi! I think this definitely is related to his age as my (also) 21 month old DS LOVES to throw. He also loves to knock things down and hear the "crashing" sound. I know this is probably NO help, but my approach is to let him throw and knock over anything in the house that can't hurt him and/or someone else. Throwing near people, at playgroups, etc. thankfully has not been an issue. I figure, if he wants to wail a car to the floor (in our home) and he's doing it happily, why discipline it? But again, it's because no one is getting hurt. I see this phase as something he is driven to do and one day will probably disappear. If he was throwing at playgroup or near others I would obviously take a completely different approach. Just a suggestion: do you think if you let him have a throwing outlet - like some of those mentioned above, he would stop throwing in the market, at playgroup, etc.? Sometimes my DS seems to understand the concept of "that's a special game we play at home" for some of the things he likes to do that others may not be as accepting of - ex: he loves to put small toys in cups of water. It's okay if we do this in our home, but I redirected him at a friend's house/playgroup situation. Good luck and you are not alone!