new babe and terrified of husband going back to work

[BarefootGirl]

My first baby is a week old.  My husband has been off work since he was born, but has to return tomorrow.  I am terrified.  I don't know why.  I feel like crying just thinking about him not being home with us to back me up.  Things have been going great with our new little one other than lack of sleep (of course!) but that's normal.  I don't know what I'm scared of.  Maybe it's just hormones?

[toughcookie]

hormones.  exhaustion.  tears to your soft tissues, perhaps.  i remember it well, and my husband was home for 2 weeks.

when he left that morning, i had everything i needed though - clean diapers, my boppy, my boobs, lunch ready in a tupperware to zap for me, and the pets taken care of.  we made it through that first day, and every day after was easier, until, lo and hehold, i wasn't scared at all anymore. 

you will get through it.  trust your mothering instincts.

that said, it may soothe you to ask a friend, experienced with babes neighbor, or a family member to check in either physically or by phone for that first week.  i had my cuz (babies X 3) call me, and that helped my ego enough to get me to the end of the workday. 

[Knitting Mama]

mama. It's tough but I promise you, after the first day you'll feel a lot better! My husband took 2 weeks off when our daughter was born and I was truly scared for him to go back when she was 2 weeks old. It was not a particularly rough day (in the sense that her patterns weren't any different than they had been the previous days) but it seemed like it lasted forever! I felt like it was more like 20 hours rather than 10 between him leaving and coming home. But after that first day, it wasn't so scary. It gets easier, I promise!

[PatioGardener]

It does get easier.  Don't hesitate to spend the whole day snuggled in bed with your little one!

nak

[expat-mama]

Hugs mama! So many of us have been there and yes it does get easier and it does get wonderful! The first few days are a bit of a whirlwind- I found they actually went faster than I thought. The first days at home by ourselves were just full of back to back snuggling, nursing, and diaper changes and then DH was home to snuggle with us as well! Don't worry, you can do it. Just relax, go with your babe's flow, and be confident in your abilities as a mom- all your baby needs is YOU.

[Adaline'sMama]

My husband went back to work after 9 wonderful days home with us. I was terrified when he returned, but I was quickly relieved after the first couple of days. One of the things that made it awesome was the look on his face when he came home from work and saw her after being away from her for 10 hours. Remember to take care of yourself too! Nap when your babe naps, take a shower, try to prepare your meals ahead of time so that you dont have to cook while he is away, and try not to get overwhelmed! Congrats on your new baby!

[BarefootGirl]

Thanks everyone!  DH left for work about 2.5 hrs ago and things are fine so far, but it already seems long!  We've snuggled and nursed while watching a movie and now I'm getting some computer time with DS asleep in my lap.  I'm already feeling better about it.  We have his first doctor's appointment at 2:00 which should break up the day nicely.  It will be our first trip out of the house without DH but I think I can handle it.  The drive to the doc is about 45 minutes.  I will try to nurse him as close as possible to departure time but I plan to leave with extra time so we can stop if needed.  I think things are going to be okay :-)  I am really enjoying my little one - just miss my DH!

[Knitting Mama]

You're doing a wonderful job, mama!

[limabean]

It's so scary! Even with my second baby, I cried watching my mom drive away after she stayed for 2 weeks because I knew that the next day my DH would go to work and I'd be all by myself with two little kids and a c-section to recover from. It was hard and scary, but we made it through and so will you.

You're doing awesome. Good luck at the doctor appointment, and good for you for feeling confident enough to do that on your own! Your baby is lucky to have such a strong, capable mama, even if you don't always feel that way inside. 

[ProtoLawyer]

My husband's a SAHD and it still terrified me the first couple of weeks when he left for a few hours. I was still healing (c-section with post-op complications), couldn't drive, lift the car seat, or walk more than a block or two without wanting to curl up in the fetal position, and I also found establishing nursing extremely isolating. It got better.

[P.J.]

DH only works 3 days a week (lucky us, I know), and tomorrow he's off to work again after 4 days with us here at home. I am not looking forward to it...and I have several months of practice under my belt!

It's hard being home alone with a baby, but you can do it. I can do it too. Take it one day, or even one hour or one moment at a time. And enjoy it too, there are lots of beautiful moments that sure beat being out there trooping around the city as part of the workforce.

And congratulations on your new baby!

[aphel]

Just wanted to chime in - DH stayed home with us for a three weeks, and I was so so so scared when he went back to work. But I quickly began to really enjoy our alone time. I find when he's gone at work, DD and I bond really well. I usually find that I'm less stressed because we're not constantly passing her back and forth, and she seems happy to have alone time with mama, even though she does adore her papa. I get done what I can get done, and DH can finish the laundry when he gets home.

It will get easier, and it will get better mama!

[treeoflife3]

My husband was deployed when my kiddo was born so I was living with my mom to have her support.  She took time off work to be with me and kiddo and I was really scared when she went back to work.  When she went up to my uncle's house for the weekend (this happens a lot, they are hunters and it was meat processing weekend as they do it all themselves) I literally cried and cried and cried absolutely terrified of being alone all day and night with no one there to help and her 2 hours away.

I think it is perfectly normal to be afraid of the first time you have to take care of a new one on your own.  No one to tag team with or get you food when baby just WILL NOT let you get it yourself.  Babies may be small and helpless but they are pretty terrifying if you ask me.  Especially a first child, although I'm sure that first time alone with two kids has a whole new set of fears!

[BarefootGirl]

Thanks so much mamas!  We are now on day 2 and doing well.  It's not as scary as I thought.  We successfully got to and from our ped appt yesterday and then today we visited my office, the bank, and Target.  I am trying to plan an outing for about the middle of each day.  The rest of the time we just hang out and snuggle.  The late afternoon hours do seem long as we get closer to DH's return, but overall we are doing well!  It has been rainy and yucky outside, but I look forward to walks together once the weather improves.  It feels good to get out of the house.  I do feel kind of stifled when I look around and see things that "need" to be done (like vacuuming) and I feel bad about my sweet pets who are not getting the attention they are accustomed to.  When DH gets home today I'll try to squeeze in some play time for them while DH holds the babe.  I also need to practice using my ring sling and moby wrap, which will make some things (like eating!) a lot easier.

[sssheri]

That is great that you have been getting out of the house! My lo hated the car seat for the first few weeks (she still has her moments) which made outings a little stressful at first. What is saving me at home is baby wearing (the moby is great for little newborns) and a big exercise ball. My daughter is high needs and needs to be bounced non-stop. I just have her in the Moby and bounc on that ball all day and I was able to be on the computer, eat, watch movies, etc.