Oh good grief. - Page 2

[BettinaAuSucre]

Dear ex Sperm-donor, 

Thank you for donating 10 minutes of your time to create such a beautiful, funny, smart daughter with me. Beyond that, thank your parents for me. Thank them for dominating you and controlling you, making you take my daughter from me. Thank them for never teaching your personal responsibility, which has made you a fantastic failure as a father. Thank them for never pushing you to get a good education and career, Thank them for teaching you it is ok to live off others. That being said, since the time the state said you were a better father than i was a mother, you have made my life a living hell, knowing that if it weren't for H, you wouldn't exist to me anymore. I am proud that I no longer have to live in other peoples homes, pawn my things or beg for money to make ends meet. I am sorry that you still have to do it so just to feed H. I am sorry that you have control over me for the time being. That the state has tied you to me. I am sorry that I did not wrench my daughter from your hands when you threatened to take her away from me. I am sorry I did not secretly divorce you when I had the chance. I am sorry I didn't press charges against you when the police came to the house moments after you drove away with H, for a domestic violence call and took pictures of the bruises you left ( the only thing you left). Thank you for never being available for H when she needed you while we were still married, making me the primary caregiver. Thank you for moving 6 hours away from me, taking H with you, hoping to estrange her from me, making my life a living hell while H. becomes more like you every day. Thank you for engaging that 21 year old girl with her own child, living with her entire family that is comprised of her sister, her kids, her brother, his kid and an ailing mother. Thank you for not standing up and being a man. When she asks me why we aren't together anymore, I will simply shrug and say " Mommy loved you more than she loved Daddy". 

Sincerely, from the deepest part of my being, 

H's mother.

[justmama]

Originally Posted by Ceinwen 

Dear exh,

It is so incredibly lovely not to be gaslighted all.day.long. anymore. So nice to know I'm not crazy. So darn fantastic not to have six hour long arguments wherein you attempt to confuse me and make me sound crazy.

It's also nice to at least be able to call myself 'a single mother' with pride... even though I've really been doing it all for eight long years.

Also, even better - so wonderful to not be guilted into having sex with you everyday, because you have 'a high sex drive and you just need it, and I should just be supportive - what's wrong with me anyway??'

PS - no I did not have a 'lesbian agenda' for the last ten years. Although, if it makes you feel better about being the world's worst husband, you go right ahead and tell people that.

Regards,

Me

* snort *  A lesbian AGENDA?  REALLY?  Come on! 

Dear biological father of my oldest child:

               Hi, remember me?  Yeah I'm the one you impregnated 11 years ago and then said "we should just be friends."  Thanks for that by the way.   How have things been these last 8 years since we've seen you?  Been a while.  HEard you got married.  Poor woman.  Oh, our daughter is fine by the way.  You'd know that if you ever contacted us.  But I'm sure you are really busy doing. . . . .whatever it is. . .that you do.. . . . . . . . . .yeeeeaaaaahhhhh, SO!  Thank you.  Really.  Thank you so much for dropping out of our daughter's life.  I mean, it's obvious that you are THE MOST craptacular father in the entire world so I do appreciate that you are capable of recognizing that and removing yourself from her life.  She doesn't need someone who wiill continue to make empty promises and walk out on her again.  So thanks for the one decent thing you ever did in your life.  Appreciate it much!

                 Sincerely,

                 the woman you knocked up 11years ago and left to raise your child

Dearest soon to be ex-husband,

        Stop being such a "french shower."  I love you. 

        Thank you for treating our 10 year old like your own child even though you share no DNA.  No matter how many "other women" there are, I will always be in your debt for treating her like your child and for forgetting that she's not biologically yours.  It's a beautiful thing you've done with her.

         I forgive you.  I forgive you for leaving me while I was pregnant.  I forgive you for leaving me waitressing double shifts while pregnant and eating pancakes at every meal with our two other children because I couldn't afford food AND heat. 

         I love how supportive you are.  You are a great dad at heart and our children adore you.  I apapreciate the little things you do that you aren't required to do just because you know it makes my life easier, like when you take the girls home and give them showers and put them to bed before I get home from work.  I appreciate that because I know you don't HAVE to do it and it's better for them AND me.  It would be easier for you to sit at home and not do all that so thank you. 

         But on that note, please stop pushing me for sex.  You cannot have your cake and eat it too.  You want to be a bachelor?  Fine.  Go for it, with my blessing.  But if you want to have sexual relations with me, please understand that they come at a price.  No matter how many lovely beautiful supportive things you do, I will never be okay with that. 

                           with love,

                                  the woman you are divorcing for no good reason other than you "just don't want to be married" after 6 years.

[haydn'smommy]

Dear STBX,

I forgive you. I won't let you control my heart anymore. I won't let anger and hurt turn me into a bitter person. I can and will rise above this and be better for it.

Sincerely,

The one you will regret leaving and who doesn't want you anymore

[kblackstone444]

Dear ExHusband,

You looked me in the eye, told me you didn't love me anymore, told me our family wasn't the effort, and that you wanted to live your own life from now on.  While I'm still trying to figure out how destroying a family and "living your own life" was worth it in between working 80 hours a week now 'cause you have no family to distract you and with us getting along now a thousand times better than we did as a married couple.  Is this really what you had in mind when you wanted to "live your own life"?  Was it really worth it, what it did to three other people, never mind the extended families on either side who both lost a stepchild?

Perplexedfully yours,

Your ALMOST ExWife, seeing as how not a single paper has been filed towards the divorce

********************************************************************************************************************************************************

Dear Evil ExBoyfriend (and I use the term "boyfriend" loosely),

Just because you bought my son a Christmas present and brought me a Christmas tree, doesn't mean I'm gonna let you back into my life or anywhere near the baby's birth.  You lied, bullied me, took advantage of certain situations- that means you're not worth my time of day.  Do us all a favor and grow up and get over yourself.  You're NOT all that.

Hatefully yours,

The idiot who got talked into things.

P.S.  Remember when I said size doesn't matter?  It does.  Alot more than I ever thought it would.

[zebra15]

Dear Mr Wonderful-

I hope you are enjoying your stay at the State Facility.  Really, 4 years ago when SWAT called me because 'he's shooting at us' was quite a wake up call.  Thank you for the sleepless nights, the panic attacks that you would get out again and the lost work days to show up when you had to be in court.  Oh- before that fateful morning, thanks for all the years of terror, humiliation and fear.  Don't worry, just because you are a visitor of the state facility does not negate your child support obligation.  Your balance is rolling with interest.  You can still pay this balance after DS turns 18, the balance due would come in handy to pay college tution.  You can send all the Coke Points you want, that does NOT count toward child support. 

Since you have been 'gone', I've found a supportive therapist, worked out the nightmares, realized you can not get me anymore and I do NOT have the problem. I've managed to go back to school, complete a program, change careers, and move on with my life.  I am now researching places to relocate. ( I am still trying to disappear before you get out).  DS is doing well.  He doesn't know the details of that day. 

I'm glad I was smart enough not to marry you, move in with you, or do anything else with you.  Enjoy your stay, courtsey of the state and the taxpayers- I only hope they also give you a bill when you leave!

Not so lovingly

Me

(I feel better now)

[kblackstone444]

Originally Posted by zebra15 Dear Mr Wonderful- I hope you are enjoying your stay at the State Facility.

[plantnerd]

Oh my ladies, thank you so much for this.  Although I'm not a single parent my mother was, so I can appreciate the "humor" in these.  I would love to see what mom would write.

PS-  I turned out fine, all a kid needs is ONE wonderful parent.  Keep up the good work, and bless you all.  Merry xmas to you and your families!

[crystalface]

Dear X,

Thank you, for making me realize that you are completely screwed up in your brain, and I was right all along. Thank you for forcing me to be a strong, independent person, and standing up to you and your emotional abuse. You made me feel that I only had certain options in life, which I unfortunately chose, and flew down the wrong path because of it. But, unfortunately for you, I have learned from these mistakes, and will never make them again.

--The woman you put through hell

P.S.

I politely request that you stop contacting my friends for no real reason, and making up excuses to them as to why. I know you are trying to mess with me. But it isn't working.

P.P.S.

Please stop telling people that the restraining order I filed was a "misunderstanding," and that I am moving to L.A. I am not moving to L.A., and if I was, you would certainly never find out. Please stop using these as excuses to try to get around contempt charges. You are skating on thin ice.

P.P.P.S.

You are in serious need of professional help. And I am not referring to the lame excuse for the attorney that you hired for a simple restraining order hearing.

P.P.P.P.S. (lol)

I feel sorry for your new girlfriend.

[sillygrl]

Thanks for the smiles, ladies! My ex told me a month after he got to Iraq that he was filing for divorce and it's been absolute hell dealing with that. Not ready to write my letter yet....but love reading all of yours!!

[septmommy]

Dear ExH,

I wish for one day you could feel the actual responsibility of being a parent.  I don't mean the 12 hours a week you grace the kids with your presence and want accolades because you  "even gave them a bath!".  I mean actually loving someone more than you love yourself.  I wish that when you were at work you felt pulled to be home with your kids.  I wish that when you went house hunting you considered what kind of home would be best for our children.  It would give me great pleasure if you would take time off of work to watch their concert instead of using your sick day to go to a celtics game with a 21 year old girl.  I wish that when our kids called you crying and begging to see you that you would say yes. I wish that for once you  would show up on time to pick them up because I actually have a life too.

I don't miss you.  I don't mourn us.  I am, though, boiling angry about the dad you have become.  Our children deserve better.  One day you will look back and realize all you have missed out on.

From the woman mothering AND fathering your children,

J

[wytchywoman]

Dear Thing 1:

Isn't it amazing how our son will be 18 next year? Time flies SO quickly when you are raising a child alone. I know you feel that it is your personal mission to improve every.single.person in this world, including your son. Perhaps you might want to begin with yourself? You see, I've known you for 20 years now, and you are still exactly the same now as you were then. That isn't supposed to happen, FYI. The whole point of being alive and maturing is to LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES, to become a better person, and develop appropriate relationships with others. I know that's a new concept for you, but I do think it warrants some consideration. As for your son, and specifically the visits you have with him, you also need to consider the point of those as well. It may seem rather silly of me, but in my opinion, when you only see your son 2 weeks out of every year, you might want to make those happy weeks. You might want to consider backing off of your personal agenda and enjoying the time you have with your son. You really are not his parent,as parenting would imply that you are involved and interested in your child's daily life, which you are not and never have been. Please stop pretending that you know this child well enough to raise him, because you don't.

Sincerely,

Me

Dear Thing 2:

After years of verbal and emotional abuse, years of manipulation, years of passive aggressive and not so passive aggressive tactics, you have finally decided to be nice to me. Interesting. I suspect this is due to one of two things. You either want sex from me, which is absolutely not going to happen. Or you want full custody of our son, which is even more absolutely not going to happen. While I am certainly enjoying the refreshing change from abusive bastard to kind and compassionate, I just want you to know that I don't believe it. Not for one second. And whatever it is that you want, the answer is no.

Thanks anyways ;-)

Me 

[crystalface]

RIVETING!

[pupsnelda]

 Those are great! All of those letters should be published, they are a great read.

[Minxie]

Dear ex,

When I emailed you regarding our son's interests and provided links to some inexpensive gifts he would like, that was to help YOU.

When I emailed you our son's Christmas List, at his request, that was to help YOU.

When I emailed you his sizes and a list of what I'd already purchased, that was to help YOU.

You sent him clothes he won't wear, shoes he doesn't need, a plastic toddler guitar with plastic strings, and a 39 inch basketball hoop. Now, I understand it has been over a year since you've seen our son so you could probably be forgiven for not knowing that he is 48 inches tall or already has a real guitar.

Maybe. If I'm being generous.

You cannot be forgiven for not reading the email that said buy gifts more in the 6-8 range and that he loves robots. You cannot be forgiven for COMPLETELY ignoring his Christmas List. You cannot be forgiven for ignoring the email in which I told you he had plenty of clothing and I had just bought him two new pair of shoes. You're not interested in what he's doing or what's going on in his life; you haven't even asked after him on the rare occasions you deign to email or call us. You don't know that he's reading or doing basic algebra. You don't know that he has had a real student guitar for almost eight months now or that he plays songs on it, songs he makes up himself. He's pretty good for not knowing how to play a guitar but you wouldn't know that.

I know it's hard to remember but I am taking proper care of him. He has clothes, food, books, and shelter; I even strung his guitar when we got it from a lady on Freecycle. He needs his DAD. You broke his heart by not seeing him at all this year even though you were within an hour of us on several occasions and we actually drove to your house on our way home from my family's house over Christmas break. He cried himself to sleep; thanks for that.

To sum up: YOU SUCK and you're an idiot. New girlfriends and your adult children will understand if you actually spend time with your four-year-old son whom you haven't seen all year. Hey, do you get that YOU HAVEN'T SEEN YOUR SON ALL YEAR?!?!?!?!?! He's growing up and he's aware of more than you think.

Anyway, bonus for me is that he adores me and loves me and cherishes our time together; definitely MY son. Thanks for that.