baby shower

[marylavelle]

Hi, I was wondering if anyone else dreads the idea of a shower...

[turtlewomyn]

Well if anyone offers (assuming you don't get a surprise one) you could ask for a mother blessing instead.  That is what I did when a friend recently offered, no silly games and good wishes instead of birth horror stories.

[MO_Bookwyrm]

I have a friend at work who is throwing me one at work.  I'm not one who likes to really be in the spotlight, so it makes me a little uncomfortable.  Plus, this is my second.  And while there will be almost 7 years between them, I don't want people to think I am being greedy and expecting things.

All that said, I know my friend really wants to do this for me and I'm letting her.  My discomfort is not a huge thing (for me), just enough to give me willies in my stomach. 

[Aliy]

i have a shower after the baby is born.. that being said I doubt i'll be having on this time I really don't know many people here.

I'm not big on the silly games and the swarms of people and stuff

[Marissamom]

I have a friend who is insisting on throwing me a baby shower. I do feel a bit odd about it because this will be my second child in two years, though there are a few things I need because almost all the stuff I have if pink, and having a boy this time. I'm also not sure who I want to invite, I don't have many friends, and I don't really enjoy spending time with my extended family, just not close to them. I also don't like the silly games. 

[Simonsez2u]

DDCC...I was a late bloomer in the baby arena and attended ALOT of showers before I had a LO myself.  It was an on going joke between a friend and I about dreading the next baby shower (she has no children.)  I mean how many onesies can you possibly ohhh and ahhh over!?  That being said I was not exactly stoked about my own, but I must say when you are on the receiving end it is more entertaining.  I treated it like a regular party with adult beverages, music, and good food.  It was nice sharing such a special event with people I care about. 

[goldenwillow]

I completely dreaded having one.  My MIL INSISTED on it, so we rolled with it.  I did ask for a few things to make it more tolerable for us. 

#1  CO-ED

#2  BBQ

#3  NO GAMES!!!!!

#4  No registery

It turned out to be a lovely time celebrating the birth of our baby.  Looking back, glad we did it. 

[Virginia884]

I have helped host a really (if I say so) great baby shower- co-ed, good food, no stupid games, a celebration of the family, and lots of gifts. Isn't that the best? I would hope for the same.

I sort of stumbled upon the fact that 4 friends of mine are throwing me a surprise shower. DH is in on it... and he doesn't know that I know! I'm coming clean to you all! I'm dreading it, because I don't like being the center of attention, and all my friends and co-workers (with the exception of maybe 2) are totally mainstream. I just keep telling myself to focus on the baby, smile and nod, and enjoy the day as a celebration of motherhood. I have until January to keep my mouth shut about this secret... it is nice to know the real reason why people are asking me weird questions! 

[Sandrine]

I never had a baby shower and probably won't with this one. I'm ok with it.

[milosmomma]

I was the first of my friends to have a baby, so my first shower was new for ALL of us.  The friends that threw it were SO excited about it and I just went with the flow.  It was pretty traditional (fluffy pink decorations and games), but it WAS co-ed and featured a lot of beer.

Second time around, I had a lot of mom friends, and it WAS my second (although I needed boy stuff), so it was a lot more low-key.  Ladies only, out to dinner, a couple balloons and a few really, really useful/stylish gifts.

Nothing has been mentioned this time around, which is completely fine.  I certainly don't need anything, but I'm not one to refuse a party.  Honestly, I'll be just as happy if all those people come visit me after the baby comes instead.  (I'm one of those people that really likes having post-baby visitors...but I never seem to have any).

[BeanyMama]

I had one with my first baby only. I do dread the thought of them! With my second little guy, I went to dinner with a few close friends and they gave me things for baby, that was nice. When my last baby, I just told people to feel free to bring me food postpartum rather than a baby gift

[marylavelle]

I like the going out to dinner idea, accepting some small gifts.  I feel like I only have like 15 people--tops--to invite and that's just not enough people to have full blown shower....I actually get a little anxious at the thought of even compiling the guest list.  I am so happy to be pregnant, I don't want this to ruin it...I'm being silly, I realize.  Can I just skip it altogether?

[marylavelle]

PS--thanks for the replies, it helps to see that renting a hall, games, etc.  isn't necessary...

[Aliy]

15 people is a lot of people... but all the showers i have been have like 8 people tops..... well okay my first one had more in total but it was a revolving door of people...

I cried at the end of my first shower.. ( i had really bad ppd and had the baby 5 days before) it was so overwhelming having all these people wanting to hold the baby and trying to sooth him by their self. I was so ticked at my MIL as she kept putting her ( unwashed) finger in his mouth everytime he fussed instead of giving him back to me to feed. but yea that a whole other story

do what you are comfortable with and wait a few weeks is my suggestion if you are doing it post baby. My second shower was less traumatic for me

[milosmomma]

Originally Posted by BeanyMama 

When my last baby, I just told people to feel free to bring me food postpartum rather than a baby gift

 Yes!  This is exactly what I plan to do this time!

[Neuromancer]

My friend is throwing me a "no games," co-ed, kid-friendly shower in February.  She's pregnant, too, but on her second child and didn't want me to host one for her in return.   I'm having a hard time narrowing down the invite list, as she wants to hold it in her apartment, but my husband and I are working on that now.

[rockycrop]

After attending several painful baby showers and being the recipient of 2 when I was pregnant with my first, I have made a promise to myself never to attend a baby shower again (even one for me).  It's partly the games, but it's mostly the staged/public display gift unwrapping....AHHHHHHHH!  

I have a friend that really wants to give me a "baby sprinkle" (her response to me telling her I did NOT want a baby shower) this time.  I'm not even really sure what that means.  Hopefully not opening gifts in front of an audience.

[Banana731]

Originally Posted by rockycrop 

After attending several painful baby showers and being the recipient of 2 when I was pregnant with my first...  It's partly the games, but it's mostly the staged/public display gift unwrapping....AHHHHHHHH!  

It's so true...

 

[Neuromancer]

Originally Posted by rockycrop 

After attending several painful baby showers and being the recipient of 2 when I was pregnant with my first, I have made a promise to myself never to attend a baby shower again (even one for me).  It's partly the games, but it's mostly the staged/public display gift unwrapping....AHHHHHHHH!  

I have a friend that really wants to give me a "baby sprinkle" (her response to me telling her I did NOT want a baby shower) this time.  I'm not even really sure what that means.  Hopefully not opening gifts in front of an audience.

My friends did not open gifts at the shower I threw for them, and I'm hoping to avoid opening gifts at mine.  ;)

[SaRaiMelting]

I'm dreading the shower thing as well.

My mom wants to host mine, but we are going to plan it together to make it easier. I was conversing about this with a girl that i recently met through a mutual acquaintance, maybe like the 2ND time we hung out. ( We have only gotten together maybe  3 or 4 times for a few hours over lunch) and during the 3rd time we got together she was like "I don't know if anyone has offered but I would like to throw your shower for you."  It was very awkward because I had made it very clear that me and my mother are going to plan a shower and that I really didn't want to have one anyways. Plus her and i had just met! I don't know maybe I'm being weird about it but i feel like that was a little .... i dunno... whats the word...Presumptuous??

So I told her thank you and wow and all that, as well like  "that's very sweet of you...but my mom and i already are planning one" She she says " Well, I  just can throw you a separate shower."  

Umm..... We JUST MET! you don't even know me, or any of my family or friends. Ugh it was soooo awkward, i didn't want to hurt her feelings you know. Plus i wouldn't want to invite the same 15 people to two baby showers. 11 of those people are family members, so its not like i could just have a shower with friends and one with family you know. I said "well if you want to help me plan my half of things that might be okay..." ugh wish i just could be blunt sometimes, but i don't want to be rude! 

So now I'm thinking I will change EVERYTHING around and just have a Welcome Home Baby shower instead ( since we don't know if we are having a boy or girl anyways) and then that way me and hubby will be hosting. Then just have a women family members ONLY "Mama blessing" spa day before baby is born... do facials and soak our feet things like that and i was thinking about hiring a henna artist to come and do a "protection/blessing" henna design on my belly and offer henna to everyone else if they want to do something small like on their hands or feet. No baby shower games or anything...if they want to bring a small gift that would be okay..kinda thing.

I dunno I'm still undecided. I was so excited about doing something to honor the baby before he/she comes into this world, but now i feel a tad bit obligated to incorporate "strangers" into all this.