I need to hear what some other mamas think about this situation I am in.
My sister and mom offered to throw me a baby shower and we all agreed it would be after the baby was born - I guess we were all assuming he would be on time and the shower would be happening early December, though we never really talked about a date early on, which was obviously a big mistake.
I just assumed the shower would be three weeks or so after Desmond's arrival, as that is how most of my friends have had their post-birth showers. My mom is adamant that the shower happens in mid to late January, and I am crestfallen that she wants to wait that long. My sister is caught in the middle. Her reasoning is that December is a busy time, particularly for her, and she has so much to do to prepare for Christmas that having the shower (the day I proposed was the 11th) would just completely put her out. She also claims that no one will come because they, too, will all be busy with Christmas stuff.
My reasons for wanting the shower before the holidays are that I really wanted the shower to be a welcoming for my baby, to introduce him to a supportive community and welcome him into the world when he was really tiny. I feel as though if everyone meets him over the holidays, his shower will be less special, in a been-there-done-that kind of way. Plus, everyone loves meeting and holding tiny babies. I am also collecting items for local shelters for women who have experienced domestic violence and wanted to donate the items before Christmas. Lastly, we are not very flush with cash, we are just a young family and I was kind of counting on all my established older family members to help get us started and held off buying a lot of things we needed but couldn't afford because I know they would be more than happy to support us in this way. We need things like a wrap or sling, a stroller, clothing, diaper covers, etc. I guess that sounds selfish, and she has called me on that which only makes me feel really guilty for needing so much help.
The only good reason I can think of to have the shower later is that this is cold and flu season and my baby will be so young, but my mom hasn't mentioned it and I didn't want to add fuel to her fire, but I have considered that point as well.
We have offered to ease the stress for her by having the shower here so she wouldn't have to clean her place top to bottom, offered to help with cooking food, but she refused saying "This was her gift" but I feel like this is a conditional gift and my feelings are very hurt that she won't take the time to listen to my reasoning. She just says "you don't know anything, you're just new to this, trust me." My MIL has even offered to hold the shower at her place but I know that would make my mom so angry, and even though she is completely disregarding my feelings, I do want to spare hers. We became so close during this pregnancy, I just feel as though we are losing it all over this stupid shower.
TL;DR I want the shower this month, my mom wants it in mid-January. Should I just trust that she knows what she is talking about? Are my hormones affecting my desires here? Should I just shut up and accept her "gift"? I have been crying about this for days now, and every day that passes makes it harder and harder to have the shower on the day I want because soon people WILL be busy if we don't get the word out.
Help, MDC, am I being ridiculous?