Houston, we have a Runner!

[Super~Single~Mama]

HELP!  My DS is a runner.  He bolts.  He likes to run, he gets excited and he RUNS.  I love that he gets excited, I love that he's high energy, I don't love that he runs when he does these things.

The main problem is with daycare.  he does GREAT when I'm not there - they rave about his behavior, how sweet he is, how wonderful he listens, how great he is with the other kids, they just rave about him.  I love it, I must be doing *something* right, right?

But, when I get there, he gets so excited he runs out the door!  Like, the instant I get there, he gives me a hug, and then RUNS through the daycare door!  (NOTE:  this is NOT dangerous, his daycare is located inside my law school, and the door to the daycare is an inside door, the security desk is several feet beyond it, EVERYONE knows who ds is, and EVERYONE would - and has - stopped him before he's gotten anywhere dangerous.  Not to mention I run after him to get him, or one of the daycare staff does if they are closer to the door.  He is not anywhere close to cars/streets/anything dangerous when he does this.)

Even though its not dangerous, its still not ok for him to run away, so how do I deal with it?  So far, we've just run after him every time, but thats getting on my nerves since its happening both when we get to daycare, and when we leave daycare every.single.day.

I'm thinking maybe, that if he does it again, the first time he runs through the door, he goes into his crib for a few minutes.  Then if he does it again, he goes back in for longer.  I could also put him where the infant toys are, where it is gated and he wouldn't be able to get out.  The door to the childcare center is usually open, b/c it locks automatically, and at the end of the day parents are coming and going (ds will not bolt unless I am there - like I said he's an angel for the staff), so the door needs to be open.  I could shut it, but then I have to deadbolt it b/c he can open the door. 

Do any of you have any other creative solutions???  DS is almost 23mo, and I'm getting pretty tired of him bolting - I need a consequence, and I really don't want to yell or (worse, gulp) spank - this behavior is just really really getting to me and I nearly lost it at school today when he bolted for the FIFTH time since I had gotten there 10minutes before.  HELP!

[~Charlie's~Angel~]

Im not even kidding, my kids do the EXACT same thing.  There is a big center room when you walk in their daycare, and then the door ways are all around for the different rooms.  The NANOSECOND Charlie sees me, he bolts.  Then he goes into the Toddler room, gets Matthew, and HE bolts.  My mom says it all the time too, that when they are at her house, they are GREAT.  They listen and behave and dont act up or act out.  As soon as i walk in the door, they go straight downhill as if on a giant twirly slide. 

My BFF helps another couple watch their kids in the summer while shes not teaching.  She says they both are so well mannered and easy going.  As soon as thier parents get home, you have to peel them off the ceiling.  They go from 0-60 in 3.5 seconds.  She says its like nothing shes every seen before.  Like the kids have spilt personalities or something. 

So the moral of this story is, I think its pretty normal for kids to behave all day while in the care of someone that ISNT mom or dad.  As soon as we get there, its like they have all this bottled up rage they need to get rid of.  I always joke they save the crap for me.  lol

Im not sure that I have any great solutions for you. Just more commiseration from a mama who knows exactly what your going through.  HUGS

[Super~Single~Mama]

I wish we knew each other IRL, it sounds like our kids would love each other, LOL!

[~Charlie's~Angel~]

Can you just IMMAGINE the CHAOS though?  We would need to be committed.  LOLOLOLOLOL

During one of my vacations next year, hows about we all hop the amtrak and meet up in the middle.  Should be around the Finger Lakes region.  Then we can worry about someone jumping in water unattended.  hehe

[LynnS6]

I think you need a new pick-up routine. Can your son be in a room where it's not possible to bolt? How is he getting out the door? Is it possible for the daycare people to keep him in an area of the room where he can't get to the door until it closes? Then he'd be with you. Or maybe you can call 2 minutes before you get there and a daycare worker can put him on their lap until you get there and take his hand. IMO, this is partly the daycare center's problem. They should make it difficult for children to bolt. What if someone got out when a different parent came?

I think that if you prevent him from running you'll be much more successful than if you impose a consequence afterwards. He's young enough that he's going to have a really hard time linking the consequence with the running. However, if he gets out of the habit of running, then he just won't do it. Right now, he has a really really  cool game going: Mom gets there (Yeah!!!), he runs (fun!) and mom chases (even more fun!!!!). It's going to take a lot to get over that game. Keeping it from ever starting is a much more likely route to success.

[Super~Single~Mama]

Originally Posted by LynnS6 

I think you need a new pick-up routine. Can your son be in a room where it's not possible to bolt? How is he getting out the door? Is it possible for the daycare people to keep him in an area of the room where he can't get to the door until it closes? Then he'd be with you. Or maybe you can call 2 minutes before you get there and a daycare worker can put him on their lap until you get there and take his hand. IMO, this is partly the daycare center's problem. They should make it difficult for children to bolt. What if someone got out when a different parent came?

I think that if you prevent him from running you'll be much more successful than if you impose a consequence afterwards. He's young enough that he's going to have a really hard time linking the consequence with the running. However, if he gets out of the habit of running, then he just won't do it. Right now, he has a really really  cool game going: Mom gets there (Yeah!!!), he runs (fun!) and mom chases (even more fun!!!!). It's going to take a lot to get over that game. Keeping it from ever starting is a much more likely route to success.

You have some good points, b/c of the set-up however, some of this would be really hard.  The infant/toddler area is gated off from the pre-school area, due to lack of space they are in the same room and just separated by dividers.  My son doesn't sit in anyone's lap but mine, and thats only to nurse (he's so active it would just never happen).  It's hard for them to close the door to prevent him from bolting, b/c he can open it, so it has to be dead bolted to keep him in, which means other parents can't get in.  So far, my son is the only bolter, the others are much more relaxed (and there are only 4 other kids total in the center - its very small with an almost 1-1 ratio, the staff always notice when ds or another tries to leave the room and are very much on top of it).

Today was better b/c when I got there he was in the infant/toddler section and didn't notice me while I was getting his lunch and stuff ready to leave, then I just put him in stroller right away after letting him out.  That won't work for long though b/c in January he won't be on the infant side anymore b/c he'll be 2.  He won't be in this center for much longer though, since my mom will be here Feb. 1 to take care of him while I finish studying for the bar.  Just a little while longer....