Hello all. I am very, very unexpectedly pregnant. And not exactly thrilled about it. I know that may hurt some, and I'm sorry, but I have to get this off my chest and this is the best place for me to let loose.
I have three awesome kids, my youngest is almost 18 mo and is still nursing. She is a very high-needs kid, very bossy, very demanding, and such a little tattle-tale! But she's so great and I can't imagine life without her. She's mainly the reason I'm struggling so much with the thought of having another. I can't keep up with her as is, how am I going to with a new baby!?!
My older two are awesome, easy-going kids who love each other and mind well. They're great!
I just don't know if I can handle another kid. And pregnancy. The sickness and fatigue while trying to keep up with three, and take them to school, swimming lessons, basketball.... I can barely get up to go to the bathroom in the first trimester! Ugh.
I really don't know when my last period was. I think around 10/23. I don't even know what my due date would be. It just hasn't sunk in yet, and I'm trying to get excited about this, but it's not working. :( DH is reeeaaaaallllyy not looking forward to another either. We both thought we were done.
I've been bleeding very lightly for several days. Red blood, no more than a panty liner per day. I've had four miscarriages (3 of them before the 5th week), so it's not unlikely to happen again. But with all of them I started really bleeding right away. And with my last live birth I bled at about 5 weeks, but only for a day. So this pregnancy could easily go either way. I'm getting an hcg level today and another tomorrow (can't do 48 hours b/c of schedule conflict), so we'll see what my levels are doing. The home tests are getting darker, unlike with my miscarriages.
My mom is going to kill me. My sisters (one of who has been TTC for a year) are going to kill me. My dad's going to tell me I'm stupid. So please, bear with me when I come to vent.
I think, I hope, I can get excited about this. I just need a little time for it to sink in. I've only known for two days.
Sorry for the novel and pity party! :)
Edited by FlipMom23 - 11/30/10 at 4:53am