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~*~ December Pagan Families Chat~*~ It's Yule/Midsummer!!!!! - Page 12

post #221 of 360
This is by far the most stressful Christmas/Yule ever! It breaks my heart that when I go "home" next weekend it will be a fake loving environment. I will keep quiet and play nice through Christmas day, but I am not promising anything after that. I hate that I have to even fake that long, but whatever, I don't wanna "ruin" anyone's holiday. Solstice will be awesome anyway. My dear friend and I will be celebrating it with light, love and reverance! smile.gif
post #222 of 360



 

Quote:
Originally Posted by sweetsunshine85 View Post

AThis is by far the most stressful Christmas/Yule ever! It breaks my heart that when I go "home" next weekend it will be a fake loving environment. I will keep quiet and play nice through Christmas day, but I am not promising anything after that. I hate that I have to even fake that long, but whatever, I don't wanna "ruin" anyone's holiday. Solstice will be awesome anyway. My dear friend and I will be celebrating it with light, love and reverance! :)



just a thought.....it desnt have to be fake for you. you can have the love in your heart and shine it on everyone. whether or not they shine it back. tiis the season and what not. and i would just brush off confrotations. "oh we can talk about that later. i just want to see everyone."  or  "please pass the dip" with a sweet voice. jmo

post #223 of 360
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamaofthree View Post

maia: lol i have been in a moody spot lately. i think it is the end of pregnancy thing. not that i want to give birth right now, i am feeling like i want the couple weeks to just keep going... i am just tired and sore alot! plus, i have never been this pregnant this time of the year, it is so exhausting. and there is all this weird emotional stuff going on with my family. it just seems like alot all at once.

i will have to work on being in a better spot because i just don't like being/feeling this way. 

 

h


i hated being pregnant at this time of year.  my feet didn't fit in boots or socks so it was difficult to get into work or go out places.  as soon as i got to work, i'd slide off my shoes (slides, what else?) and yank off my socks.  i definitely lived up to the "Barefoot and pregnant" thing.  and then, i was still going to church - got some wise cracks about the whole mother mary nonsense.  ugh.  so, MO3, be thankful that you're not farther north and having to deal with cold and snow and uncomfortable feet. :)

post #224 of 360
Quote:
Originally Posted by sweetsunshine85 View Post

This is by far the most stressful Christmas/Yule ever! It breaks my heart that when I go "home" next weekend it will be a fake loving environment. I will keep quiet and play nice through Christmas day, but I am not promising anything after that. I hate that I have to even fake that long, but whatever, I don't wanna "ruin" anyone's holiday. Solstice will be awesome anyway. My dear friend and I will be celebrating it with light, love and reverance! smile.gif


we've been reading the book "Simplify your life" and one of the things mentioned for simplifying was to ditch the FFOs (forced family outings).  yours is one situation that i would ditch if i were in your situation.  "Mother, accept me as I am or I won't come at all."  but then, that's me.

 

oh, and more on "Simplify your life" - seriously, the author must have been loaded and had tons of crap and life burdens in her life.  and likely also looking at retirement because i can't imagine doing some of the simplifying steps with younger kids - like ditching the holidays.  while i am really done with traveling, it's important for ds to see the cousins so off we're going... even though i'd rather just stay in my cozy home and not go anywhere for the next 2 weeks.

post #225 of 360

oh, and 13 days of yule... here are some ideas: 

http://www.pagandad.com/2010/12/thirteen-days-of-yule.html

 

12 days of yule devotionals: http://paganwiccan.about.com/od/yulethelongestnight/qt/YulePrayers.htm  (but it is very northern cold centric)

 

a yule tarot spread: 

http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art26918.asp

 

a huge pile of stuff (books, links, correspondences, etc) on yule: http://www.egreenway.com/druids/st2p.htm

post #226 of 360

bluets: LOL you had alot to say! haha

 

i have been bare foot and pregnant most of the time. lol 

i took dd to her friends house after we went out for a bit today and i finally met his mom. ok so she is only a couple years older then me, but she was so put together, like she was going to work or something, make up, blouse, slacks, holiday sweater (a nice one not a goofy one) hair all perfect. i felt like a kid. lol i am in cotton stretch pants and a tee-shirt and sandles. i think i brushed my hair (pretty sure i did lol) and no make up what so ever. sometime i feel like i am not an adult when i get around other adults. anyone else feel like that? she was really nice, it was just my personal feeling. 

 

so i am gonna get a cup of cocoa and a peppermint stick, turn on some holiday music and wrap gifts. the kids are about ready to stroke out with worry that i won't get it all done. lol

 

h

post #227 of 360


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by sweetsunshine85 View Post

This is by far the most stressful Christmas/Yule ever! It breaks my heart that when I go "home" next weekend it will be a fake loving environment. I will keep quiet and play nice through Christmas day, but I am not promising anything after that. I hate that I have to even fake that long, but whatever, I don't wanna "ruin" anyone's holiday. Solstice will be awesome anyway. My dear friend and I will be celebrating it with light, love and reverance! smile.gif


I started reading though this thread tonight, and your posts really caught my eye... I never really "came out," I just was. Even though working at a Christian camp, and my brief "affair" with the LDS Church. I am really sorrie to hear things got "ugly" (( hugs )), but at lest you get to go to you your family's gathering. We got uninvited due to having kids, one last year, and one this year... WTF? Who's family has no kids in it? .., but I digress. As i see it, and please do not take this wrong, but if you are "fake that long" you very well might end up "ruining" someone holiday, and perhaps - no, very likely - that someone will be the most important person in your life... YOU! I am by no means saying start anything, but you are who you are... Be Proud of that, and share the joy of who you are... I know I, from even very, very far away, and though very hardly knowing you have enjoyed it :)


~~~~~~

 

My mate and I are laying out plans for Yule :) and where wondering what are peoples' more "interesting" traditions? he is use to a BIG family dinner at Grandma's for Christmas and just TONS of stuff, which I had very little of growing up - we did presents, my Godfather came by some years, and I just played with my toys. My mothers family did nothing that I know of, my father was the "black sheep" of his family, mother hated to cook, and i was an only child... looking back it seems lame, but I never saw a reason to complain as a kid, lol. Last year was his first true "non-Christmas" and it being "just a day" hit him kinda hard, but I think we have bounce back okay, and other then the un-invitations we have much, much to celebrate (including the fact I am due in May). He has suggest that we open gifts the day after the longest night because Kris Kringle will need the longest night to deliver all the toys (this year we only have hand made one, hehhe) and I think it would be great if we left out our boots, filled with carrots and straw for his Sleiphir or reindeer, ya know which ever he might be using this year. ... Then again part of me thinks "pushing back" opening gifts a day might be a little odd, so we are still making plans. 



 

post #228 of 360

Solstice lunar eclipse Monday night!  If you can't watch it, NASA will stream the live video of it the next day.  http://www.nasa.gov/topics/solarsystem/features/watchtheskies/index.html

 

Have only skimmed through the posts but want to offer hugs and blessings to all those who need it.  grouphug.gif
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by bluets View Post


i hated being pregnant at this time of year. 


 

Me too!  I felt like I had a bowling ball between my legs. Ugh.  I remember getting cramps around this time and I kept telling my OB that I think it's going to be soon (even though I was only 36 weeks.)  Sure enough, Roo arrived 4 weeks early a few days later!


Edited by DaughterOfKali - 12/20/10 at 4:27am
post #229 of 360

what do we do.... well on monday i will be making a nice big breakfast and we will be having seafood for dinner and maybe reading stories (from pooka's pages and circle round) and the kids will be freaking out! lol i will also start the bubble bread (recipe is in circle round we have done this every year for 5 or so years now) and the kids will help make the balls of done with a wish in them. then on tuesday we will bake the bread, open gifts, hang out and probably watch holiday movies and then i will make a nice big early dinner and we will just eat all the rest of the day and stay in our PJs. 

 

sweetsunshine: i agree with lioness. go in their with an open and loving heart. what are they going to do? be jerks, and if they do well you didn't stoop to that level and you are enjoying yourself. i have to say i am very blessed in that department. as whacky as my family is, they don't seem to care at all that i am not christian, although if you asked they would say they are they never act like it and never go to church. so i am just weird because we celebrate the holidays on different days. although one year my dad got all crappy about which day we celebrated Ostara (easter) and he said some crappy stuff. which was really weird. 

 

well the gift wrapping, holiday music and cocoa were just what i needed. it was so nice and really put me in the spirit. when dh and brought the gifts out to put under the tree... good lords! lol the excitement went thru the roof. lol we had to put the cat out because she kept trying to eat the ribbons. lol

 

ok i must get to work, must re-clean the house. i think i am going to cast a nice spell to have things calm and harmonious over the next few days. :) oh and i am gonna bake some cookies. yum yum. 

i have to say that i am so happy that will have my whole family together for a few days before everyone insists on seeing friends/doing work. 

 

ok must get to that list.

 

h

post #230 of 360
Quote:
Originally Posted by sweetsunshine85 View PostThis is by far the most stressful Christmas/Yule ever! It breaks my heart that when I go "home" next weekend it will be a fake loving environment. I will keep quiet and play nice through Christmas day, but I am not promising anything after that. I hate that I have to even fake that long, but whatever, I don't wanna "ruin" anyone's holiday. Solstice will be awesome anyway. My dear friend and I will be celebrating it with light, love and reverance! smile.gif


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by LionessMom View Postjust a thought.....it desnt have to be fake for you. you can have the love in your heart and shine it on everyone. whether or not they shine it back. tiis the season and what not. and i would just brush off confrotations. "oh we can talk about that later. i just want to see everyone."  or  "please pass the dip" with a sweet voice. jmo

 

What Lioness said. "Please pass the bean dip"-- best metaphor evah! Just try not to get sucked into the "what I believe" convo-- you will be put on the defensive and you do not need to go there right now, I think. Keep deflecting. Keep changing the subject. Keep saying beliefs are not up for discussion at this point, let's just enjoy the holiday.



Quote:
Originally Posted by bluets View Post

i hated being pregnant at this time of year.  my feet didn't fit in boots or socks so it was difficult to get into work or go out places.  as soon as i got to work, i'd slide off my shoes (slides, what else?) and yank off my socks.  i definitely lived up to the "Barefoot and pregnant" thing.  and then, i was still going to church - got some wise cracks about the whole mother mary nonsense.  ugh.  so, MO3, be thankful that you're not farther north and having to deal with cold and snow and uncomfortable feet. :)

I gave birth in January, so I, too, was at the end of my pregnancy this time of year. I wore Birkenstocks right up to the end (yes, with socks lol.gif) and I had to loosen them because my feet swelled so much. I had no coat or jacket that would fit me anymore. My mom had gotten me this cape-thingy that was the only thing that would fit. I wasn't comfortable, but I was extra glad it wasn't August!
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by mamaofthree View Postok so she is only a couple years older then me, but she was so put together, like she was going to work or something, make up, blouse, slacks, holiday sweater (a nice one not a goofy one) hair all perfect. i felt like a kid. lol i am in cotton stretch pants and a tee-shirt and sandles. i think i brushed my hair (pretty sure i did lol) and no make up what so ever. sometime i feel like i am not an adult when i get around other adults. anyone else feel like that?

 

Yes. ALL.the.time. I am just-turned-51 and most of my mommy-peer-friends are in their mid-30s (those who have kids my ds's age), because I started late-- had ds at 41yo.

Add to that, that in AA they say that you get developmentally arrested at the age in which you started drinking alcoholically, which for me was 17-- if I stopped "growing", then continued to "grow" when I got sober, that would also put me right in the mid-30s.

Also, I don't look anywhere near my age. I have long hair, it's not even begun to gray, I have clear, unblemished, unwrinkled skin (THANK you, Mom!), and I look and act probably about 30ish. I don't at all relate to my age peers.

And I don't, nor do I care to, look all "put together"-- except in places like church, where I feel like a frump. Oh well. Even if I get dressed to the nines, I look like a frump within a half hour. My clothes wrinkle, my hair looks mussed, my makeup gets all messed up. I do hate that, and I don't know why it happens. I'm still working on acceptance around that! But whatever.

Cut yourself a break, though, MO3-- you're how pregnant now? You're not supposed to look "put together" for a good while yet hug2.gif



 

post #231 of 360

Dress- Well, I can  be totally frumpy to dressed very put together when I want to. Today I am rather put together.

 

We are getting ready to go out, no kids, all adult get together at Genesee Country Village. Should be fun!

post #232 of 360

maia: the thing is usually i don't care. i am a jeans and tee-shirt kinda person. but occationally i see other women and i think, hmmm. 

 

so i figured out what i want for next yule. lol i want a big tattoo on my left breast (well above it) i already have two little flowers there, but i am thinking of having them drawn over and having 6 big beautiful colorful flowers (one for each kid) and then three little buds (for my miscarriages) and then maybe somehow having dh and my initials sort of made out of vines or something sort of hidden. and maybe a fairy or a butterfly or a dragonfly flying above it, but small. i think it would flow well with the big piece i eventually want to get done across my back... some day in the future when i have loads of money to piss away on body art. lol

 

cari: have you ever heard of or seen the chef Bill? he is in Australia. he was doing a christmas BBQ picnic thing on the cooking channel. it looked so nice and inviting, and i though of you. :) 

 

h

post #233 of 360
Quote:
Originally Posted by sweetsunshine85 View Post

My mom and I had a chat on facebook this morning. It got ugly. Then my bff from the catholic community I grew up in started messaging me saying I had turned my back on my family, my friends, and everything I know. She is someone I never thought would turn on me. All I could say was that I had thought our friendship was based on more than religion...


I am so sorry to hear this.  Maybe, I hope it is just going to take time for them to come around?  ((hugs))

 



Quote:
Originally Posted by Maiasaura View Post


So...M is totally not wanting anything to do with alcohol since being back on Lithium. He says the thought of it makes him want to hurl joy.gif


Awesome, awesome news!!  I am so happy for him and you:)

 


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by sweetsunshine85 View Post

This is by far the most stressful Christmas/Yule ever! It breaks my heart that when I go "home" next weekend it will be a fake loving environment. I will keep quiet and play nice through Christmas day, but I am not promising anything after that. I hate that I have to even fake that long, but whatever, I don't wanna "ruin" anyone's holiday. Solstice will be awesome anyway. My dear friend and I will be celebrating it with light, love and reverance! smile.gif


I agree with what was said before by lioness.  What a blessing it is to have a friend you can celebrate Solstice with.  Keep that thought in your mind:)

 


 

post #234 of 360
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by DaughterOfKali View Post

Solstice eclipse Monday night!  If you can't watch it, NASA will stream the live video of it the next day.  http://www.nasa.gov/topics/solarsystem/features/watchtheskies/index.html

 

Have only skimmed through the posts but want to offer hugs and blessings to all those who need it.  grouphug.gif
 

 

Oh coolness! I'll have to go have a peek and see if we'll be able to see it at all.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by mamaofthree View Post

maia: the thing is usually i don't care. i am a jeans and tee-shirt kinda person. but occationally i see other women and i think, hmmm. 

 

so i figured out what i want for next yule. lol i want a big tattoo on my left breast (well above it) i already have two little flowers there, but i am thinking of having them drawn over and having 6 big beautiful colorful flowers (one for each kid) and then three little buds (for my miscarriages) and then maybe somehow having dh and my initials sort of made out of vines or something sort of hidden. and maybe a fairy or a butterfly or a dragonfly flying above it, but small. i think it would flow well with the big piece i eventually want to get done across my back... some day in the future when i have loads of money to piss away on body art. lol

 

cari: have you ever heard of or seen the chef Bill? he is in Australia. he was doing a christmas BBQ picnic thing on the cooking channel. it looked so nice and inviting, and i though of you. :) 

 

h


Is it this Chef BIll?   If so, we lurve him!  He is totally down to earth and awesome.  And yeah ... that'll be us on christmas day lol.     We actually had a big family bbq for christmas planned for saturday at another family members house... but the weather was absymal.. and their yard flooded so it had to be cancelled on friday.  SO,  mum, dad, bil/sil and their two kids & sister came to our place!  Mum grabbed a couple of kilos of prawns, we made a big caesar salad, hubby's evil/only to be made twice a year because it's SO bad for you cobb loaf dip... some wine/champers and I made a pavlova for dessert... and a great day was had by all.  Well, except one small incident with sil.. she can't discuss anything if someone disagrees with her... the topic of school came up & she & daim disagreed and she was practically spastic yelling her opinions.  I had to literally shout at her to shut up, that it was not that important and basically declare teh topic off limits.  eyesroll.gif   She is now claiming she has bipolar and that is why she's so underweight.. but I suspect she is tweaking mildly on *something*  .. she's got a LOT of the signs, scabbys sores everywhere, extremely underweight, her skin is in horrible shape and she twitched and was jittery the whole time they were here :S   

 

In other news... It has, for the moment, stopped raining!   which is good, as we feared we were about to wash away!  dh is off for 2 weeks starting friday *yay*  I'm thinking  a day trip or two to the beach is in order, even if we do have to take two cars.  There has been a lot of stress in the last few months that i need to send away with the tide.     I'm on the veranda, with my coffee & laptop... starting to get a bit windy and cloudy so I think I'll be heading in now!  Love mamas  grouphug.gif

post #235 of 360

Cari: yes that is the guy! he made prawns also! lol and some yummy salady thing. what i love (and miss) was that they ate it on the beach. how cool.

 

ok must go now. 

 

h

post #236 of 360

I won't be able to see it in person because it's going to snow here.  Bah!
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by CariOfOz View Post

 

Oh coolness! I'll have to go have a peek and see if we'll be able to see it at all.
 

post #237 of 360

Gillian asked for a telescope for christmas, which she got, but won't be able to open for a few days- too bad we couldn't use it tonight. I got very little sleep today because I was out late and then Erin woke me up at 5. Big news of the day- my brother proposed to his girlfriend while we were at a winter celebration, it was really beautiful! Of course, she said YES!

I am also sad/down- my dear friend is moving very far away, and I going to miss her terribly,

 

Sorry if I have been pre-occupied lately, friends moving has really distracted me.

 

Looking forward to making our ice candles today and having a nice snuggle day.

 

Love and Light to All!

post #238 of 360

Merry Solstice Eve everyone!  :)

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UA8Q7NqVsEA 

 

Maia- Yay!

 

Bluets- lol!  There is a "Simplifying Your Life With Kids" book too.  I agree that the original has suggestions that don't work with kiddos, or in some cases, with life on a budget!  The -with kids book has some craziness too but it's a bit more applicable.

 

SweetSunshine- ugh.  FB (and other social media type tools) are so NOT the best place for sensitive conversations.  And the "new religion" convo certainly qualifies as sensative.  Big hugs.  The druid book I was talking about earlier actually suggests telling family/friends at a holiday gathering because people are less likely to make a scene, you don't have to tell people one at a time (so there isn't the "so and so told so and so that you are whatever and they told me and now I'm confronting you" dance), and there is a chance to answer questions that come up directly.  But it means having your talking points ready to go...

 

I'm fond of the bean dip/potato salad approach since my mother is big on confrontation and she really isn't interested in the answer to questions she raises... she just wants the drama.  So by saying something like "this is what works for us, could you pass the potato salad?" or "that's nice that you find such comfort in your faith, I find comfort in mine too... could you pass the napkins?" and so on.  Just active listening at it's passive aggressive best!  LOL

 

tattoo- wow!  That would be a gorgeous piece of work, and so meaningful too!  We gave DH a gift cert for a tattoo on his birthday... he hasn't had it done yet, but he's thinking about getting a small Sleipnir.  I'd love a tree made up of my favorite quotes going up my leg, but it'll have to wait!

post #239 of 360
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamaofthree View Post

Cari: yes that is the guy! he made prawns also! lol and some yummy salady thing. what i love (and miss) was that they ate it on the beach. how cool.

 

ok must go now. 

 

h


Prawns, and seafood in general, are a big Aussie holiday tradition!  Last year we had a platter to die for, with prawns (and I MEAN prawns... they  were 6inches long at least before shelling), moreton bay bugs (a crab type critter thats lovely), lobstahhh, smoked salmon & oysters for the IL's.  We simplified this year to a big pile o prawny goodness though hehehe... Wanna know what's funny?  REAL prawns/shrimp ,  in the states is quite pricey, here they were 19bucks a kilo... hambuger is 12$ a kilo! ... steak $18kg!  SO really they are as affordable as any meat I guess lol
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by DaughterOfKali View Post

I won't be able to see it in person because it's going to snow here.  Bah!

 

Bummer!!  The boys are totally looking forward to it tonight :)

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aeress View Post

Gillian asked for a telescope for christmas, which she got, but won't be able to open for a few days- too bad we couldn't use it tonight. I got very little sleep today because I was out late and then Erin woke me up at 5. Big news of the day- my brother proposed to his girlfriend while we were at a winter celebration, it was really beautiful! Of course, she said YES!

I am also sad/down- my dear friend is moving very far away, and I going to miss her terribly,

 

Sorry if I have been pre-occupied lately, friends moving has really distracted me.

 

Looking forward to making our ice candles today and having a nice snuggle day.

 

Love and Light to All!



Daim came up with the telescope idea for the boys too, but a little too late, as I organized gifts alredy lol.   So we might get a basic one for his birthday if the funds are available :)  Congratulations on the upcoming family wedding :)    I know what you mean about friends moving... I was a military wife for 13yrs and got very used to it :(  Now, I live here in Oz and my best friend for half of my life is in Oregon.  I Miss her something shockin... I told her she has always got free tropical accomodation should they require a holiday!

 

I now have to share some news... I GOT THE JOB!  joy.gif  My orientation is Jan 12 (paid all day yay) and the person who interviewed me (and will be my immediate supervisor) will be getting in contact with me soon to discuss shift times etc and HR didn't seem to think only doing the morning end of the shift would be an issue during the week :)

post #240 of 360

Cari- Very excellent news!!!

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