Would you fudge your lmp? - Page 2

[Mosaic]

Originally Posted by Christine4kiddos 

Being a mom who goes to 42 weeks, I understand the frustration here. But as a midwife, I abhor the thought of a client lying to me about this, or anything! I am in a licensed state, have a scope of practice... yet within that scope, there is leeway. I would rather TALK about scenarios honestly and deal with situations as they arise. I wouldn't lie to a client... . and certainly expect the same in return.

I agree. Adjusting your guess date based on actual ovulation instead of lmp isn't lying and makes good sense (says the gal with 33-35 day cycles who hasn't charted for 10 years to be slapped on a 28-day wheel)!

However, fudging your due date because you "always go late" is, well, silly. Every birth is different, plus you have two births in your history, not 20! Murphy's Law dictates that the time you assume your baby will be born after 40 weeks is the time the baby comes at 36w5d, just to show you. And to put your midwife's career at risk over a little fib doesn't set the stage for an open, respectful relationship with your provider who, by the way, seems to have one of the more understanding/laid-back post-date approaches I've heard of.

FWIW, DD2 came at 37 weeks on the dot, so date-fudging would have been bad.

[AtYourCervices]

Originally Posted by Mosaic 

Originally Posted by Christine4kiddos 

Being a mom who goes to 42 weeks, I understand the frustration here. But as a midwife, I abhor the thought of a client lying to me about this, or anything! I am in a licensed state, have a scope of practice... yet within that scope, there is leeway. I would rather TALK about scenarios honestly and deal with situations as they arise. I wouldn't lie to a client... . and certainly expect the same in return.

I agree. Adjusting your guess date based on actual ovulation instead of lmp isn't lying and makes good sense (says the gal with 33-35 day cycles who hasn't charted for 10 years to be slapped on a 28-day wheel)!

However, fudging your due date because you "always go late" is, well, silly. Every birth is different, plus you have two births in your history, not 20! Murphy's Law dictates that the time you assume your baby will be born after 40 weeks is the time the baby comes at 36w5d, just to show you. And to put your midwife's career at risk over a little fib doesn't set the stage for an open, respectful relationship with your provider who, by the way, seems to have one of the more understanding/laid-back post-date approaches I've heard of.

FWIW, DD2 came at 37 weeks on the dot, so date-fudging would have been bad.

I agree! My first child was born 2 days after the EDD. My second child was born 4 days after the EDD. My third child was born 3 weeks after the EDD. My fourth was born 5 days before the EDD. I knew when I conceived each of the children. I was surprised my 4th child came before the EDD, especially since baby #3 was born so late, but as you said, every birth is different!

[mamabadger]

Originally Posted by MegBoz 

Well, yeah, that would be true if that "care" were:

1. Always 100% evidence based

2. Always 100% informed- choice (consent) based

3. You had nearly complete freedom of choice

Unfortunately, way too often in America that's not the case. :( Such as with the "must deliver in 24 hours of ROM" policy many hospitals have & why it can be good to lie if your water breaks before you go to the hospital in labor.

Since the OP personally feels comfortable going beyond 42 weeks, but legally can't birth at the BC, then it kinda forces her into the lie! If it were like my relationship with my HB MW, where she doesn't have "hard and fast rules" and empowers her clients to make choices for themselves, then yeah, be honest, sure, but that's not the reality of American maternity care.

IOW, while it may be "not fair" to lie to your HCPs, it's also "not fair" of the HCPs to place restrictions like that on us.

I agree. You should do whatever you have to in order to get decent care for yourself and your baby. That might include defending yourself against inappropriate use of intervention or non-evidence based withdrawal of services. 

I am a ten month mama myself. My first baby was born at 44 weeks, my second at 43 weeks. The births were just fine and the babies were fine, because I had one of the few remaining OB's who did not believe in inductions. If I were pregnant today, I would be in a lot of trouble. 

Lie your head off. Your HCP's feelings about being lied to are not your primary concern. Your doctor will recover from being lied to a lot faster than you would recover from a bad birth experience. (And if you do go into labour early, that would be the time to admit you changed your dates.)

[bri276]

I would and did.  In my case, it was because I ovulated exceptionally late.  I moved it up 10 days.  DD2 was born 4 days before the EDD I came up with, six days after the EDD by LMP.  She was 8 lbs 3 oz but didn't look overdue whatsoever.