Marriage between a Catholic and a Mormon - Page 2
I would never tell anyone to not marry outside their faith as a general rule, unless the two sets of beliefs were totally incompatible and there was going to be pressure on somebody to convert.
The problem is that many people change their minds about their beliefs over time. That's especially true in this era where information about everything is so easy to obtain. Even people who are terribly devout often have a change in belief. There are no guarantees in anything, and I think marriages should be flexible enough to cover this kind of thing. If it were so important to me that I couldn't be married to someone with different beliefs, I'd stay single.
Frankly, I think this marriage is a very bad idea. I am Catholic and have seen so much pain come from mixed marriages. When the couple is "so in love" they usually just do not understand what the reality of marriage is like and how their faiths will play into it. Once you add children to the mix... not good. I am not aware of any interfaith marriages of religious people where the differing beliefs are not a source of pain. I also know of way too many where the marriage has ended due to them.
I am not sure how Mormons view marriage. However, once a Catholic marries, validly, that is it. They are not able to remarry in the church, unless the spouse has died. This has caused terrible situations when the non-Catholic has decided to leave, getting remarried in his (well, or her, but it has usually been his) church. The Catholic is then left single forever.
Maybe this doesn't even need to be said, and of course no one should go into a marriage thinking "oh, I'll just get it annulled" but it is something that gets overlooked alot in the Catholic/Divorce discussion. Many--if not a good majority even of the adults in my RC church growing up (my father included) were on second marriages (and were married in the Catholic church) after being married in the church once before and having them annulled. In fact, the good majority of the choir directors, cathachists, and other lay-leaders and teachers that I grew up with were divorced (and all, for the most part had remarried.) Most people in the Catholic singles group where my parents met have since divorced and remarried (again, in the church). Way more of my friends from church had step parents and step siblings than my friends from (public) school. Maybe this was just an unusual situation? Or maybe it's a lot harder now to get an annullment than it used to be?
I asked my dad how hard it was for him (this was the 80s when his first marriage was annulled) and he said that that part was much easier than a divorce itself, he just had to talk to a priest, give a valid reason (in this case it was that his ex was not open to having children) and then fill out some paperwork and pay a nominal fee, then he was free to have a Catholic wedding with my mom.
I guess it depends though.
Sorry to go so off track...
I think the other thing to consider is how your faith dictates your other actions, titheing, charity work, family discipline, sexual relations. The foundations of you religious beliefs can influence much of your everyday life, so there is more to consider than what church your children will attend.
Especially in a combination that includes LDS, I think these are very important points. If they are considering engagement/marraige, the Marraige prep course through the local Catholic church would be a good idea. It doesn't emphasize having the *same* ideas about things, but actually having discussed the biggies (kids, income, etc....). Because the Mormon church has specific roles within the church, I could see a non-LDS spouse coming to resent the time requirements. Both Catholic & LDS churches tend to sponsor youth clubs (like Boy scouts)--- so which one do the kids go to? Same with youth groups, camp, and more. Additionally, most Catholics and Mormons I know have very, very different views on how spouses interact and how family decisions are made.
I think they could make a go of it, of course, but I hope they are going in with their eyes wide open.
Thank you for all your responses. You've all raised good points. It was helpful to hear from people more in the know about the LDS church than I am. Word is my BIL is getting ready to propose and they've agreed that the children will be raised Mormon and my BIL will not convert and doesn't want any pressure to. I don't know how her (very large and very involved) family is going to feel about it, but my in-laws are ok with it. My in-laws raised sons who don't believe in getting a divorce--period. They're good men and they make good husbands and fathers. So they have that in their favor. And BIL's gf is from a family who is very close and really values family. Her parents are still married too. I really hope it works out for them!
Definitely agree. A marriage between a catholic person and a Mormon one is very HARD. There will be ALWAYS disagreements between them. Different life style, beliefs and activities that won't get along at the end. I said this for experience. I'm married for almost 2 years to my husband who is Mormon. I get baptized as Mormon couple months before marriage to make him happy and easy in some way for both (big mistake) but that is the last thing you should do if you don't believe or have the same faith like they do. I don't consider myself 100% catholic but I have a catholic faith, maybe not too active like most of us but still catholic in my heart. I go to my Church on Sundays alone and my husband (when he can) alone too. We don't have similarities like a couple should but we try to "work it out " We haven't married in the temple because I'm way.. far to do it again and pretend everything is OK for me when it is not. There are a lot of disagreements between us and the most important are the kids. I'd like to have kids with him, he is a great partner but like anyone who is in this stage like me, I'm afraid my kids follow a religious that I'm not agree or believe and wash their brains. It's hard. The best would be keep it as a friend and talk about before marriage. Now families are involved and it would be a heartbreaking for them if we end in divorce.
Also get accustomed to watch BYU channel and football games cuz they love it.. Good luck!
p.s: I've been diagnosed with RA to make it worst and I'm only 33