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Bitter Sushi Ladies, December Edition - Page 6

post #101 of 459

jenger - Thanks again for the thyroid info. I just found my test results from a visit to the OBGYN in August, and it looks like my TSH level was 2.19. I'm thinking that with my body temp issues, I'm going to ask about it, at least see if I can't get my other hormones checked...

post #102 of 459


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by jenger View Post

Yep.  And they seem sure that it can't be anything major, that I'll probably get pregnant next month, no big deal.  Yes, and also, good friends (!?!?!) saying how lucky I am to just have one - it's "so easy"... errrr.

 


Hah... That is unreal... If there are months or years of evidence that one is not getting pregnant, it is pretty arrogant to feel that the person will, soon, or should get pregnant as easily as oneself or whatever. I know my friends pray for me and at least some feel sad for me. However, some probably do think that I should accept this and move on. (One made a comment, basically saying that one should not TTC but rather just let it happen... Ummm... Yeah... She has 3 very young kids. It is easy for her to say that I should make the chances of dd having a sibling even less.) Some of the issue comes from not everyone being "baby people." Not everyone loves kids and babies like I do, so it truly might not be as much of a loss to them. I never hoped to have just one or two kids, like many do.

 

Yeah... Don't even get me started on the friend who has two kids and is envious of me because her young kids are noisy and fight all the time. Next time she makes a comment, maybe I will ask for her younger kid... ha ha ha. Of course there are positives to having just one but I could never think that those can be compared to another human being.

 

One of my friends is learning the lesson right now: She has not wanted to have more kids (has two, the second one basically because her husband kept asking) and now that they are TTC, she is shocked not to be pregnant in the first couple of months. I hope for all the best for her, but TBH, I am kind of glad when people are taught that lesson. I mean the ones who take things majorly for granted. Hard lesson, but never again will they treat their kids are a nuisance.

 

OK, I guess I am feeling a bit bitter today. I was told about the situation of the friend mentioned above last night and I am having a really hard time trying to think nice thoughts. You did not want more kids (and IMNSHO often did not treat the one you had very nicely) and now you are throwing a fit because conception did not happen in the first couple of months when you decided to want another... I have a lot of emotions thinking of that that I am not able to let go of. Off to try... (I think there are others out there judging me just as harshly, although I don't know for what.) I do know that people think we hold, kiss, etc. dd too much. I would like to think that we would be just the same even if we had more kids. We are very AP and try to show our love also physically, which is very foreigh to people here. So.... Yeah... Judgements flying aaaaal around.

 

Wishing you all strength this week....

post #103 of 459

Woke up this morning and felt a little crampy, with my boobs hurting less. AF is due to arrive today or tomorrow. I am still holding out hope though.

 

MY DH has even told me to count my blessings and be happy that I have DS. I think it was supposed to help.

post #104 of 459
Quote:
Originally Posted by rcr View Post

Woke up this morning and felt a little crampy, with my boobs hurting less. AF is due to arrive today or tomorrow. I am still holding out hope though.

 

MY DH has even told me to count my blessings and be happy that I have DS. I think it was supposed to help.



Yeah, I get that one a lot from my family (parents, grandmother). Thankfully the in-laws are a bit more understanding.

post #105 of 459

I just found out that friend who has been trying for *6 years* just got a BFP (with IVF.) I am super happy for her, really and truly. But it still sucks to sit down at my desk and feel the first little cramps of AF arriving. 

 

Our current tentative plan is to try another couple of rounds of IUI in January and February (although the doctors are saying we need to go to IVF). I'm conflicted over our spring plans, which were supposed to include some major travel - because if we're doing IVF we can't afford the trip. And I know the baby making is more important to me right now, and much bigger in the grand scheme of things... but I don't want to give up my romantic road trip ideal. Ah well, I guess it will just have to go the way of my romantic baby making ideal, which is truly dead.

post #106 of 459
Quote:
Originally Posted by Laggie View Post
 Ah well, I guess it will just have to go the way of my romantic baby making ideal, which is truly dead.


 

iui and ivf are not your idea of romantic-baby-making? ROTFLMAO.gif

 

Seriously, 6 years is a long time. Wow.

 

How many dpo are you, laggie? I am feeling AF cramps today too.

post #107 of 459
Quote:
Originally Posted by rcr View Post

iui and ivf are not your idea of romantic-baby-making? ROTFLMAO.gif

 

Seriously, 6 years is a long time. Wow.

 

How many dpo are you, laggie? I am feeling AF cramps today too.


Uh, no, not so much nut.gif Maybe next time we'll bring some champagne and roses into the treatment room champagne.gifflower.gif. I'm sure the nurse would get a good laugh out of that!

 

AF is here in full force, so I'm not in the dpo category anymore. My cycles seem to be getting shorter though, 26 or 27 days instead of the 28 or 29 they used to be.

 

As for 6 years... I know, I think I would have to just give up before that and go back to condoms.

 

post #108 of 459

i just have a moment for a quick note, but wanted to say, rcr, that i'm really hopeful for you!!!  praying.gifgoodvibes.gif

i've been reading your humble posts about little potential pregnancy signs here and there, and i've really got my fingers crossed.  I know you've been having a rough time lately, and i so hope it's about to come to an end. 

<come on, rcr's baby, she's so ready for you!!!>

 

And, sweetbee, really quick.. i think you should think about prolactin. it can cause really long cycles like yours. I don't think you've had it tested, right? could you get that hard-ass of a doctor of yours to test you, given your symptoms? if not, are there labs where you could go and just request it? that's why i asked about whether or not you were still nursing. i just had this feeling with you..   and on that subject, hon, i'm so sorry about your nursing history. your story made me so sad- just hearing about how sad you still are about how that all went down. i'm crossing my fingers that you're about to be on the path to getting to do it all over again!  sending you good vibes too!

 

and goodvibes.gifto all of you! (yeah, i know how cheesy that is, but it's come to that, ok?)

 

as for me, i'm gearing up to ovulate and having FUN right now. wish us luck!

post #109 of 459

scarletjane, thank you. I haven't had any testing, as my doctor seems to think our son is evidence that everything is fine. I'm reluctant to ask him again because of what happened last time I tried. I really don't feel like paying money again to be told he won't test me, I'm fine, just relax. The only thing I could do is go to another doctor and pretend we've been trying for 1 year (instead of 8 months) just to get them to maybe listen. Isn't late ovulation enough of a sign that something is off (I was always regular before)? I think it's stupid to have to lie just to be tested. It's not like testing is invasive. We'd even pay for it, as I'm not sure our overpriced insurance covers infertility. Bah.

 

Hoping you have a nice strong O soon!

 

Regarding people's "helpful" comments on being grateful with one child: I do think most people who say this are trying to make you feel better. Not that it does, but I think that's the intent (just like pregnant women are not flaunting their fertility in front of us, but we still feel bad when seeing them). My husband says to me sometimes that we need to appreciate our son. Less so nowadays, as it's taking longer than even he expected, and then the concerns with the late O.

 

 

FF says I Oed on CD30, so 4DPO today. Finally! Anyone else post-O? I spend so little time in the LP that it would be nice to have cycle buddies. smile.gif

post #110 of 459
Quote:
Originally Posted by rcr View Post


iui and ivf are not your idea of romantic-baby-making? ROTFLMAO.gif

 

 



 

 


lol - hanging almost upside down with my bum in the air and a big speculum sticking out of me is my idea of romantic, you don't agree?  

 

 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet.Bee View Post

 

 

FF says I Oed on CD30, so 4DPO today. Finally! Anyone else post-O? I spend so little time in the LP that it would be nice to have cycle buddies. smile.gif

 

Well, I am post-O, but I don't know if 10DPO is  close enough to be cycle buddies.

 

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by Laggie View Post

I just found out that friend who has been trying for *6 years* just got a BFP (with IVF.) I am super happy for her, really and truly. But it still sucks to sit down at my desk and feel the first little cramps of AF arriving. 

 

Our current tentative plan is to try another couple of rounds of IUI in January and February (although the doctors are saying we need to go to IVF). I'm conflicted over our spring plans, which were supposed to include some major travel - because if we're doing IVF we can't afford the trip. And I know the baby making is more important to me right now, and much bigger in the grand scheme of things... but I don't want to give up my romantic road trip ideal. Ah well, I guess it will just have to go the way of my romantic baby making ideal, which is truly dead.


Sorry about AF :(.  Why do they say you need to go straight to IVF?  I thought IUI was supposed to help a lot with MF issues?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

AFM - So I am 10DPO, I tested to see if the HCG shot is out of my system yet.  (I know, I know, I said I wasn't going to do that, but I'm sure you all understand.)  DH doesn't see anything on it, but I think I can see a very very very very very very faint ghost line, which I can't even tell if it is pink.  So the shot is at least almost completely gone, so that when I test in a couple of days I can trust any result, which was the main goal of testing today, so early.  

post #111 of 459
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet.Bee View Post
FF says I Oed on CD30, so 4DPO today. Finally! Anyone else post-O? I spend so little time in the LP that it would be nice to have cycle buddies. smile.gif


I'm 9 dpo. My post-O temps so far are less than stellar. I wonder if it's b/c of the soy. How long does that stay in your system anyway? The last dose I took was on CD7, and today is CD26.

 

Anyhow, if we conceived, I'm almost certain it hasn't implanted. Hoping for a jump in BBT soon.

post #112 of 459
Quote:
Originally Posted by scarletjane View Post

i just have a moment for a quick note, but wanted to say, rcr, that i'm really hopeful for you!!!  praying.gifgoodvibes.gif

i've been reading your humble posts about little potential pregnancy signs here and there, and i've really got my fingers crossed.  I know you've been having a rough time lately, and i so hope it's about to come to an end. 

<come on, rcr's baby, she's so ready for you!!!>

 


 

as for me, i'm gearing up to ovulate and having FUN right now. wish us luck!


Good luck! Thanks for the kind words. I am still feeling crampy. Today is 14 dpo. I can't believe I have held out this long to test, but maybe AF will be here. I kinda feel like she will, but, you never know. I am going to test tomorrow morning if it is not CD 1.


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet.Bee View Post

scarletjane, thank you. I haven't had any testing, as my doctor seems to think our son is evidence that everything is fine. I'm reluctant to ask him again because of what happened last time I tried. I really don't feel like paying money again to be told he won't test me, I'm fine, just relax. The only thing I could do is go to another doctor and pretend we've been trying for 1 year (instead of 8 months) just to get them to maybe listen. Isn't late ovulation enough of a sign that something is off (I was always regular before)? I think it's stupid to have to lie just to be tested. It's not like testing is invasive. We'd even pay for it, as I'm not sure our overpriced insurance covers infertility. Bah.

 


 

 

FF says I Oed on CD30, so 4DPO today. Finally! Anyone else post-O? I spend so little time in the LP that it would be nice to have cycle buddies. smile.gif


Good luck, and Finally!

 

Personally, I would lie and tell them you have been ttc for over a year. I don't have a problem with lieing to doctors. When I had DS, I went to the hospital 12 hours after my water broke because I wanted to labor at home, and when the doc asked me how long since my water broke I told them that it just broke less than an hour ago. They have a timeline, and if your water breaks and you don't deliver in 10 hours, they do a c-section. ug, doctors and their stupid rules.

post #113 of 459
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet.Bee View Post

scarletjane, thank you. I haven't had any testing, as my doctor seems to think our son is evidence that everything is fine. I'm reluctant to ask him again because of what happened last time I tried. I really don't feel like paying money again to be told he won't test me, I'm fine, just relax. The only thing I could do is go to another doctor and pretend we've been trying for 1 year (instead of 8 months) just to get them to maybe listen. Isn't late ovulation enough of a sign that something is off (I was always regular before)? I think it's stupid to have to lie just to be tested. It's not like testing is invasive. We'd even pay for it, as I'm not sure our overpriced insurance covers infertility. Bah. [ . . . . ]

 

FF says I Oed on CD30, so 4DPO today. Finally! Anyone else post-O? I spend so little time in the LP that it would be nice to have cycle buddies. smile.gif

 

Congrats on O'ing!  And I'm all about lying to the doctor if you have to.  They work for you, and should do whatever darn thing you want.  If they won't, lie to get it.  Or just be pushy, which is what I'm going with.  We've been trying to have a baby for 25 months now, so no need to lie, but this time I was proactive and pushy, and I got what I wanted.
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kyamo View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by rcr View Post
iui and ivf are not your idea of romantic-baby-making? ROTFLMAO.gif
lol - hanging almost upside down with my bum in the air and a big speculum sticking out of me is my idea of romantic, you don't agree?  
 

 

WHAT!?!  Please tell me this is creative license and I'm not going to have to be almost hanging upside down with my ass hanging out and a speculum protruding!  I kind of want to weep for my lost dignity already.

 

I know I'm missing lots of personals--I've been reading every day, I'm just in a weird semi-depressed state right now and can't get it together enough to really post.  I'm fixated on the Kinza-and-DH infertility recovery process, I guess.  I started taking metformin last night.  I got DH's semen analysis set up for next Friday.  I still haven't decided if I really want to do the Clomid thing.  I swore I'd never take it again, but it's like a siren song, drawing me in, even if I know Clomid is not good for me.  It'll have to wait for next cycle anyway.  I tested on 12 DPO, negative.  Haven't tested since (I'm 14 DPO today) because I just can't stand to see another negative.  I don't really feel as crampy as I usually do, which is odd.  And my temps have been shockingly steady, except for one big jump and then a fallback.  They're lowish, but usually they're all over the place.  Hmm.  Maybe I'll test tomorrow morning.

post #114 of 459


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kinza View Post
  I tested on 12 DPO, negative.  Haven't tested since (I'm 14 DPO today) because I just can't stand to see another negative.  I don't really feel as crampy as I usually do, which is odd.  And my temps have been shockingly steady, except for one big jump and then a fallback.  They're lowish, but usually they're all over the place.  Hmm.  Maybe I'll test tomorrow morning.


We're cycle buddies. I am 14 dpo today too.

post #115 of 459
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kinza View Post



Quote:
Originally Posted by Kyamo View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by rcr View Post
iui and ivf are not your idea of romantic-baby-making? ROTFLMAO.gif
lol - hanging almost upside down with my bum in the air and a big speculum sticking out of me is my idea of romantic, you don't agree?  
 

 

WHAT!?!  Please tell me this is creative license and I'm not going to have to be almost hanging upside down with my ass hanging out and a speculum protruding!  I kind of want to weep for my lost dignity already.

 

 

Well, my wording may have been slightly exaggerated, but I was not making it up.  I was referring to the IUI, I will describe it in a more detailed way.  Pants off obviously, could keep my sweater and socks on.  I was put on a table, legs in stirrups, then the table is tilted so that your head is lower than your bum (I guess so gravity keeps things inside until the tube is out and the cervix closes).  Upside down is an exaggeration for sure, but it feels odd to be at that angle.  Then the bottom part of the table folded away somehow, so that my bum was sticking out over the end.  Then a speculum is used of course, so that they can see what they are doing to get the tube in the cervix.  When it was finished (just a few minutes) the speculum and stirrups were removed, table reassembled, legs down, and I had to lay like that on an angle for 10 mins or so.   It wasn't a big deal for me, but then again, it bothers me very little to have a PAP.  Sorry I freaked you out, I was just trying to make a joke.  

post #116 of 459


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kyamo View Post



Quote:
Originally Posted by Kinza View Post



Quote:
Originally Posted by Kyamo View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by rcr View Post
iui and ivf are not your idea of romantic-baby-making? ROTFLMAO.gif
lol - hanging almost upside down with my bum in the air and a big speculum sticking out of me is my idea of romantic, you don't agree?  
 

 

WHAT!?!  Please tell me this is creative license and I'm not going to have to be almost hanging upside down with my ass hanging out and a speculum protruding!  I kind of want to weep for my lost dignity already.

 

 

Well, my wording may have been slightly exaggerated, but I was not making it up.  I was referring to the IUI, I will describe it in a more detailed way.  Pants off obviously, could keep my sweater and socks on.  I was put on a table, legs in stirrups, then the table is tilted so that your head is lower than your bum (I guess so gravity keeps things inside until the tube is out and the cervix closes).  Upside down is an exaggeration for sure, but it feels odd to be at that angle.  Then the bottom part of the table folded away somehow, so that my bum was sticking out over the end.  Then a speculum is used of course, so that they can see what they are doing to get the tube in the cervix.  When it was finished (just a few minutes) the speculum and stirrups were removed, table reassembled, legs down, and I had to lay like that on an angle for 10 mins or so.   It wasn't a big deal for me, but then again, it bothers me very little to have a PAP.  Sorry I freaked you out, I was just trying to make a joke.  


It doesn't sound like you were exaggerating by much, though.  Oh, horrors.  We will probably be doing IUI in January or February, and I guess I was just picturing it being like a pap on a regular table.  I knew there would be stirrups and a speculum, but somehow I had not really thought too much about the process.  Tilting tables and foldaway sections . . . it just seems even more humiliating than I had allowed myself to consider.  I know you were joking, but there seemed to be some truth to what you were saying, and I wanted to know what you meant.  I don't like having strangers poking around down there, and I'm glad I will now be prepared so I don't freak out during the procedure.  Then I'd have to be embarrassed over my reaction, in addition to all I expect to feel from the procedure.  SO, big thanks for preparing me.  I'm going to go shed a quiet tear before DH gets home from work because I don't want him to know how upsetting I am finding all this.  It's gotta be done and how I feel about it doesn't matter.

post #117 of 459
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kinza View Post
 I'm going to go shed a quiet tear before DH gets home from work because I don't want him to know how upsetting I am finding all this.  It's gotta be done and how I feel about it doesn't matter.


This makes me so sad for you. Lots of prayers. hug2.gif

post #118 of 459

...


Edited by miriam_bat_avraham - 11/13/13 at 7:02pm
post #119 of 459


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by lavatea View Post



Quote:
Originally Posted by Kinza View Post
 I'm going to go shed a quiet tear before DH gets home from work because I don't want him to know how upsetting I am finding all this.  It's gotta be done and how I feel about it doesn't matter.


This makes me so sad for you. Lots of prayers. hug2.gif

 

Thanks--I appreciate that.  I'm just feeling sorry for myself, and I'm determined to feel better tomorrow.  In the words of Scarlett O'Hara--". . . after all, tomorrow is another day."
 

post #120 of 459
Thread Starter 

IUI isn't too bad.  It's a lot like a pap - visualize the cervix with speculum, buy instead of a pap brush a small flexible tube goes through.  Only then everything foreign comes out and you hang out on the table for 10 minutes afterwards.  They do encourage you to sex it up afterwards, just in case you ovulate later than expected, you can still catch the egg. 

IUI isn't always needed too.  We're doing timed intercourse only.  No suggestion of IUI or even a sperm analysis for us. 

 

I did have my hsg which is a bit similar to the IUI, in that it involves a catheter and flexible tube.  Everyone there keepin' it normal helps.  I mean, it's pretty sureal.  Like, Hi Dr. RE.  Nice to see you again.  Oh, this is dr. so and so, and he's gonna be doing the speculum part.  OK.  But everyone was so  nice and calm, it was all okay. 

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