Bitter Sushi Ladies, December Edition - Page 9

[lavatea]

Originally Posted by lavatea 

On the TTC front, I'm on CD 30, 13 DPO. Pretty sure I'm not pg. I haven't bought any tests so I can't say for sure, but my temperature has just been so low over all post O, and the past two days have been particularly poor (to be fair both temperatures have been after less than ideal sleep). I feel a little crampy, which is actually early, so it's either a good sign (late implantation) or a pretty bad sign (early AF either from early O or short LP). I guess we'll see how today plays out. I'm having a hard time hoping. And I really don't even feel like trying this coming month, but I can't bring myself to purposely skip a cycle, either. Blegh.

Well, I don't have to wait out the next few days - CD 1 all over again. Bah humbug.

So now I should be ovulating sometime between Christmas and New Year's Eve. Can you say bad timing? Oh well, at least it's not the few days before and on Christmas or actually on New Year's Eve. That would be worse timing. I guess this is doable.

[LessTraveledBy]

My most important news is that we finished and sent off the last Christmas gifts going overseas. That always stresses me out, so it is nice to be done.

I am 7 dpo. First cycle with Preseed. Also ended up taking Benadryl around the time of possible (unlikely) implantation. I think that I may have a problem with implantation, so I have nothing to lose. I am also on Progesterone cream. As I have said many times before, I love it, because on it I don't have to deal with the cramps for most of the TWW.

[collieflower]

Originally Posted by rcr 

I don't know if I have any issues, I guess. Other than being old and having a really negative attitude. I am working on improving that and trying to become more optimistic.
 

Ok, rcr, not sure if you were trying to be funny, but you made me laugh out loud! I am old too (turning 38 this year) and have a terrible attitude, so I can relate. Let's hope the attitude is not what's causing our TTC problems!

 

[rcr]

Originally Posted by collieflower 

Originally Posted by rcr 

I don't know if I have any issues, I guess. Other than being old and having a really negative attitude. I am working on improving that and trying to become more optimistic.
 

Ok, rcr, not sure if you were trying to be funny, but you made me laugh out loud! I am old too (turning 38 this year) and have a terrible attitude, so I can relate. Let's hope the attitude is not what's causing our TTC problems!

 

I know, it is funny. I was not trying to be funny though. I am actually trying to picture myself pregnant, getting pregnant, and having a baby. For the last year or so, I only see myself as not being pregnant and having fertility problems. I know, it is stretching it, but I am grasping at anything right now.

[rcr]

Lavatea - sorry about CD1 hon. Hope the timing works out for you, with the holidays.

Geez, I am so sick of writing sorry about CD 1 to everybody around here. We really need some happy news before the holidays.

[LessTraveledBy]

Originally Posted by rcr 

I know, it is funny. I was not trying to be funny though. I am actually trying to picture myself pregnant, getting pregnant, and having a baby. For the last year or so, I only see myself as not being pregnant and having fertility problems. I know, it is stretching it, but I am grasping at anything right now.

You know.... I have often thought of this very thing. From the beginning, having another child has never seemed like a natural thought. I always felt like it was not going to happen anytime soon, if ever. It actually amazed me that others concieved and believed it "just like that," just like I had the first time around. It had felt very natural, then. Already years ago I also got a very strong intuition that we will never have another child. (I try to think that it may have come of out the wrong place, and not be truthful. Yet, my intuitions have normally been right.) So.. I am fighting all those things, trying to still have some hope.

People sometimes talk of how the mind is connected to the body. (Sorry, if what I am about to say is a trigger for anyone...!) It would not surprise me one bit even if there was nothing wrong with my body and my mind was somehow causing my infertility. However, even if that were so, I don't see what I could do about it, really. Please know that I am NOT saying anyone else here is somehow mysteriously causing their own infertility. I have just often wondered about mine, as I have never felt like "maybe I will be pregnant, soon." Not even in the beginning, when we did not know we would have trouble TTC #2. I only experiences that hopeful "it may happen anytime feeling" with dd. Then again, with me it may all be somehow tied to hypothyroidism, which is known to strongly affect feelings, also. Maybe in the beginning, when I was so sick, my brain realized that pregnancy would not happen and should not happen, and I have not been able to let go of that thought ever since. Well, whatever the heck it is.. Here I am, not knowing how to get past this.

[scarletjane]

Maurine, still thinking of you. Please check back in if you want/need to. Waiting until Thursday for your ultrasound feels so far away to me, so I can only imagine how much further off it feels to you. I wish you peace until then.

oh, rcr, what a story. poor guy. That is really interesting, though, that his S/A results changed so drastically after the accident. You may be right about that. And it sounds like you know this, but one miscarriage can happen to anyone and truly, as far as statistics, really gives no indication of a problem.  I hope those supplements and the healing of time begin to help.

collieflower, your time off sounds like just what you need. And the ways in which you plan to utilize it sound like great ways to really make the best of the time. wow, what you said about avoiding your son's friends really resonated with me. I can really imagine how that could happen. It's been so hard for me to be around pregnant women and babies, and I can totally envision a scenario where i've sort of accidentally isolated myself. It's great that you're conscious of the potential impact of that, but hugs to you because that just sucks.

And on the EWCM thing, yes us too!  I tend to start getting it at day 10 or so, and never ovulate until day 14.  On day 13 and 14, I usually have the scantiest amount.  it seems "off," but maybe it's not when you think about the biology of us. maybe some people's bodies are just that way (this has always been my pattern).  This EW after what i thought was ovulation really threw me though. who knows.

Lavatea, fingers crossed for you!

MBA, 8dpo today!!  i'm on pins and needles for you. any plans to test??

and Kyamo, i'm glad you're still able to use clomid. I'm hoping this less stressful cycle (w/out all the intervention from the outside) will be your month.  And yes, it looks like my chart link is linked to someone else.  Did you look at it and think, oh, poor girl. no wonder she's not pregnant yet. she hasn't ovulated since 2008. 

here's my real link: http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/256f5e

sending out love to you all.

[scarletjane]

shoot, i'm sorry. i started that post (i guess it was quite a while ago this afternoon) and then came back to it to finish. 

oh, Lavatea, i'm so sorry about CD 1. 

and rcr, you're right. i'm ready to use some of those jumping up and down smileys. 

come on, bitter sushi babies!!

[rcr]

Originally Posted by LessTraveledBy 

Originally Posted by rcr 

I know, it is funny. I was not trying to be funny though. I am actually trying to picture myself pregnant, getting pregnant, and having a baby. For the last year or so, I only see myself as not being pregnant and having fertility problems. I know, it is stretching it, but I am grasping at anything right now.

You know.... I have often thought of this very thing. From the beginning, having another child has never seemed like a natural thought. I always felt like it was not going to happen anytime soon, if ever. It actually amazed me that others concieved and believed it "just like that," just like I had the first time around. It had felt very natural, then. Already years ago I also got a very strong intuition that we will never have another child. (I try to think that it may have come of out the wrong place, and not be truthful. Yet, my intuitions have normally been right.) So.. I am fighting all those things, trying to still have some hope.

People sometimes talk of how the mind is connected to the body. (Sorry, if what I am about to say is a trigger for anyone...!) It would not surprise me one bit even if there was nothing wrong with my body and my mind was somehow causing my infertility. However, even if that were so, I don't see what I could do about it, really. Please know that I am NOT saying anyone else here is somehow mysteriously causing their own infertility. I have just often wondered about mine, as I have never felt like "maybe I will be pregnant, soon." Not even in the beginning, when we did not know we would have trouble TTC #2. I only experiences that hopeful "it may happen anytime feeling" with dd. Then again, with me it may all be somehow tied to hypothyroidism, which is known to strongly affect feelings, also. Maybe in the beginning, when I was so sick, my brain realized that pregnancy would not happen and should not happen, and I have not been able to let go of that thought ever since. Well, whatever the heck it is.. Here I am, not knowing how to get past this.

Those are my feelings exactly, LTB. I too assumed that ttc would be hard even before I had fertility problems. I am trying to be more positive about it, and tell myself that I will be pregnant someday, and soon. I guess I will make that my new years resolution.

[Kyamo]

Lavatea, sorry about CD1.  
 

Originally Posted by rcr 

Those are my feelings exactly, LTB. I too assumed that ttc would be hard even before I had fertility problems. I am trying to be more positive about it, and tell myself that I will be pregnant someday, and soon. I guess I will make that my new years resolution.

I assumed I would have trouble too, because I remembered how irregular and weird my periods were before I went on the pill.  I suspected PCOS, even though I wasn't diagnosed until after we started TTC.   I guess I was ovulating only every 3-4 months even back when I was 15.  (I got my period shortly before I turned 15 - I wonder if that lateness was related to the PCOS too?  Prob not, my mom was 15 too.)

scarletjane - Your temps look pretty convincing, I would go by those even with a bit of random EWCM.  

Am I the only one being bothered by the title of the One thread this week?  I had to stop reading it awhile back, but I had no issue with seeing the title in the list of threads, until someone decided to add "fantastically fertile"  to the thread title.  Grrr, I know they probably just put that with a "think positive" type of motivation, but from my sad place it totally feels like they are gloating.  

[littlest birds]

Kyamo I'm sure it is just to have fun and be upbeat, and of course they don't quite notice that to other people it looks like the nonstop BFP party thread.  Despite a few lulls here and there it's pretty much one BFP after another.  I still post there, though.  I really feel positive towards all of them even though I can't keep track of the new folks very well.  I wish everyone there happiness and success and to never have to feel as discouraged as I have.  And to me it is actually sweet when a newbie has a BFP right away and they are gone as quickly as they appeared.  (Which doesn't mean I'm not jealous also.)

I definitely understand it making you feel sadder and a little grumpy, though. 

I am a little sorry for myself because one of my friends with two teenage daughters is PG and I just found out tonight.  Even my middle-aged friends are getting pregnant again, after years, before I can.

[miriam_bat_avraham]

Okay everyone, you were all INCREDIBLY CHATTY today and I went in early to work and didn't post beforehand like I normally do, so you're in for a doozy of a multiquote!
 

Originally Posted by littlest birds 

I feel guilty since some ladies here are trying for #1 or #2 when I have already been blessed with 4.  Still, my youngest will be turning 9 years old next fall.  We were hoping for two more little ones, spaced close together, but that just doesn't seem to be in the cards for us.

Don't feel guilty. I think that's a problematic assumption-- that having any children at all means you can't lament a loss of fertility or inability to conceive & carry more. If you always wanted a "more than four" sized family (which I love, by the way, since I'm one of 5 :) ) and you can't have one, it's a loss, and losses need to be respected and grieved. I want at least 4 kids, and I know that if life circumstances kept us from having more than 3, I'd feel like that last child was lost into the universe and I would grieve that.

I don't remember if adoption was a choice for your family. Is that something you're considering so you don't have to live without those two more little ones?

Originally Posted by rcr 

Originally Posted by miriam_bat_avraham 

Are you ladies making new year's resolutions? I don't usually do it formally, but I like thinking about approaching the new year (and MY new year, since my birthday is a few days into January!) with some goals. This year, my goals are

1) get pregnant (ha ha)

2) learn how to enjoy poetry, which I've always largely ignored or been bored by

3) get my house organized and finally finish putting things into tubs in the basement

4) lose weight, or gain it because of baby

5) make everything feel simpler. get up early enough to have a nice breakfast, own less stuff, take time to take a bath and relax

6) continue belly dance and get better at it 

What are yours?

I don't know. Get pregnant, or start to pursue adoption if I am not pregnant by March (when I turn 37). Find the money for adoption. Nothing else seems to matter right now. I guess getting tenure would be nice too :)

I love that "get pregnant" comes before "get tenure" :D But yeah, it comes before all of my priorities, too... mostly because "the rest of my life" is just waiting on that one thing to get started... everything else I'm doing right now is just waiting to see what happens.

Originally Posted by littlest birds 

I would not be able to not think about TTC while on vacation myself.  I would still think about it all the time.    IF you're not already PG I hope you accidentally conceive without Clomid while partying.

I'm afraid to try Clomid without monitoring and the trigger shot-- can you even do that? I thought for some reason that you NEEDED the trigger shot because Clomid induced an artificial cycle and couldn't finish the process on its own.

Originally Posted by Kyamo 

Miriam - I am not bored, I am extra interested in following your cycles since you and I seem to be on similar plans at the moment.  I have to take next cycle off from IUI as well, the clinic is closed for a week at Christmas and I won't be around anyways.  But I am going to take clomid and try on my own (well, with DH, LOL), otherwise who knows how long I might have to wait for another period so I can start a new cycle.  

And AFM, 13DPO and got a BFN this morning.  

Sorry about the BFN, Kyamo :( Maybe tomorrow morning you'll have better luck? Thinking of you! It really sucks that your clinic closes for the holidays. Mine's open every day of the year, just limited hours sometimes.

Originally Posted by scarletjane 

MBA, how are you feeling at 7dpo? i wish you temped so i could stalk you too.

AFM, I'm i think 2dpo. i had a weird ovulation this round. i was fighting a slight throat thing that i think might have raised my temp slightly in the days leading up to ovulation. but then i had a super HSO cervix on day 13 and lots of EW from day 10 and onward. But then my temp spiked on day 15 and my cervix came down and hardened (leading me to believe i'd ovulated on day 14).  Then later that day on day 15, i had EWCM again!  what??  so we acted accordingly. But i've never had that happen before. Had I ovulated or not?  why would i get more EW? and it wasn't husband's contribution; it was definitely clear stretchy EW.  i give up trying to figure all this out.

Oh, no, I very deliberately don't temp anymore. Why even bother? My doctor doesn't look at my charts and my frequent blood work tracks everything I need to know... it just saves me the stress. I almost feel like temping is for normally fertile people for whom the information is new and cannot be obtained any other way, and who don't need so much monitoring... not for me :irked

I never quite mastered secondary fertility signs. Even CM is so confusing... it's never as clear as in the sample charts on FF!

Originally Posted by lavatea 

mba - I've been thinking about the New Year's resolutions. I don't really do them formally, either, but I guess it's not a bad idea to reflect on some things to work on for 2011. So here's my little list:

• get pregnant/stay pregnant (see a NaPro doctor if necessary)
• start my new job and apply for loan forgiveness; begin looking for jobs in a different city toward the end of the year perhaps
• really get on top of DD's homeschool
• spend more quality time with my kids
• get the apartment organized and decorated since we'll be here at least another year
• begin paying off bills/saving for the future

Hugs all around. Sorry if I missed any personals.

On the TTC front, I'm on CD 30, 13 DPO. Pretty sure I'm not pg. I haven't bought any tests so I can't say for sure, but my temperature has just been so low over all post O, and the past two days have been particularly poor (to be fair both temperatures have been after less than ideal sleep). I feel a little crampy, which is actually early, so it's either a good sign (late implantation) or a pretty bad sign (early AF either from early O or short LP). I guess we'll see how today plays out. I'm having a hard time hoping. And I really don't even feel like trying this coming month, but I can't bring myself to purposely skip a cycle, either. Blegh.

Our lists are somewhat similar :) Adulthood is exciting, huh? :lol

I'm really sorry you're back at CD 1. Ugh. This again, huh? I hate it, for all of us. :hug

Originally Posted by collieflower 

MBA– It’s funny that you asked about New Year’s resolutions. I’m also not a big New Year’s resolver, but this year I am planning to take several months off work, and so that’s prompted me to start thinking about a list of things I want to focus on during those months. I haven’t yet put pen to paper, so I’m just going to start here with you Ladies as my captive audience:

- Focus more on DS (don’t get me wrong, we are awesome parents, but I feel like he’s missed out on some of the attention we might have given him if we were not so TTC-involved), including:

• volunteering weekly in his classroom
• getting to know other parents with kids (I’ve been avoiding all happy families for the past few years, but I think it’s time to bite the bullet and set aside my hang-ups so he can make some friends his age, since the brother or sister might be a long time coming)

- Finish unpacking (after 3 years) our home, and finish decorating, including taking down the blankets that are being used as curtains and painting the unpainted rooms

- Take a good trip!! Thinking Costa Ricaor somewhere in the Canadian North

- Reach out to more people (we’ve recently moved to our city and I feel like we could have a bigger network of friends)

- Focus on a new activity or sport. I’ve been thinking about a triathlon (some of you may remember me starting to train last summer, but never following through) or an adventure race with friends

- Start researching adoption

Wow, that list is getting long. And I just started it; there’s more to add. I wonder if I need more time off work???

Oh man, time off work would ALWAYS help. I love the dichotomy of "Costa Rica... or NORTHERN CANADA." Same vacation in two slightly different places, basically ;)

How are you swinging a few months off work? Jealous!

rcr-- I can't believe that story about your DH! He never got any compensation for that sort of injury??? What if it had been his face? What if it had been a five-year-old's face? Oh man... I can't even imagine. How horrible. There are safety rules about these things for a reason! Yikes. I'm glad he's okay, and I really hope if it affected his fertility that there's something that can be done :(

Originally Posted by LessTraveledBy 

My most important news is that we finished and sent off the last Christmas gifts going overseas. That always stresses me out, so it is nice to be done.

I am 7 dpo. First cycle with Preseed. Also ended up taking Benadryl around the time of possible (unlikely) implantation. I think that I may have a problem with implantation, so I have nothing to lose. I am also on Progesterone cream. As I have said many times before, I love it, because on it I don't have to deal with the cramps for most of the TWW.

Cycle buddy! I forgot to use the PreSeed last time we tried on our own; I forgot we even had any! What is the Benadryl for?

Originally Posted by collieflower 

Ok, rcr, not sure if you were trying to be funny, but you made me laugh out loud! I am old too (turning 38 this year) and have a terrible attitude, so I can relate. Let's hope the attitude is not what's causing our TTC problems!

I'm turning 28 in a few weeks and I have the bad attitude, too! hah. We all need matching BSL leather biker jackets, bright pink lipstick, fingerless gloves and teased hair, I think ;)

Originally Posted by scarletjane 

MBA, 8dpo today!!  i'm on pins and needles for you. any plans to test??

and Kyamo, i'm glad you're still able to use clomid. I'm hoping this less stressful cycle (w/out all the intervention from the outside) will be your month.  And yes, it looks like my chart link is linked to someone else.  Did you look at it and think, oh, poor girl. no wonder she's not pregnant yet. she hasn't ovulated since 2008. 

here's my real link: http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/256f5e

sending out love to you all.

That last bolded line make me do an actual "LOL" :lol Priceless!

Yup, 8dpo. I'm on the fence about "how" to test. I've been using OPKs to test out the hCG from my Ovidrel shot, but I can't tell if they're negative or not anymore. They're negative for OPKs, but there are still two lines and I don't know if the test line is showing from the hCG or just LH. What I really need to do is get a few HPTs and test for a negative, and then for a positive, but I'm really not sure what I want to do in terms of spending money on testing this cycle when I'm getting a beta next Monday anyways... hmmm.

Originally Posted by scarletjane 

come on, bitter sushi babies!!

I think "Bitter Sushi Babies" would make a great name for the Graduates thread!

Originally Posted by rcr 

Originally Posted by LessTraveledBy 

Originally Posted by rcr 

I know, it is funny. I was not trying to be funny though. I am actually trying to picture myself pregnant, getting pregnant, and having a baby. For the last year or so, I only see myself as not being pregnant and having fertility problems. I know, it is stretching it, but I am grasping at anything right now.

You know.... I have often thought of this very thing. From the beginning, having another child has never seemed like a natural thought. I always felt like it was not going to happen anytime soon, if ever. It actually amazed me that others concieved and believed it "just like that," just like I had the first time around. It had felt very natural, then. Already years ago I also got a very strong intuition that we will never have another child. (I try to think that it may have come of out the wrong place, and not be truthful. Yet, my intuitions have normally been right.) So.. I am fighting all those things, trying to still have some hope.

People sometimes talk of how the mind is connected to the body. (Sorry, if what I am about to say is a trigger for anyone...!) It would not surprise me one bit even if there was nothing wrong with my body and my mind was somehow causing my infertility. However, even if that were so, I don't see what I could do about it, really. Please know that I am NOT saying anyone else here is somehow mysteriously causing their own infertility. I have just often wondered about mine, as I have never felt like "maybe I will be pregnant, soon." Not even in the beginning, when we did not know we would have trouble TTC #2. I only experiences that hopeful "it may happen anytime feeling" with dd. Then again, with me it may all be somehow tied to hypothyroidism, which is known to strongly affect feelings, also. Maybe in the beginning, when I was so sick, my brain realized that pregnancy would not happen and should not happen, and I have not been able to let go of that thought ever since. Well, whatever the heck it is.. Here I am, not knowing how to get past this.

Those are my feelings exactly, LTB. I too assumed that ttc would be hard even before I had fertility problems. I am trying to be more positive about it, and tell myself that I will be pregnant someday, and soon. I guess I will make that my new years resolution.

I've been doing a lot of visualization. I imagine a tiny embryo implanting, I imagine my uterus being a warm and soft and comfortable place, I imagine all the parts of my body all working together to make it more relaxed and stress-free and hospitable... I imagine us holding and caring for a small baby, girl or boy... all the stuff that makes me also feel sad :( But I'm trying to stay positive. I'm starting to become concerned about the role stress & anxiety might be playing for me in all of this.

Originally Posted by littlest birds 

Kyamo I'm sure it is just to have fun and be upbeat, and of course they don't quite notice that to other people it looks like the nonstop BFP party thread.  Despite a few lulls here and there it's pretty much one BFP after another.  I still post there, though.  I really feel positive towards all of them even though I can't keep track of the new folks very well.  I wish everyone there happiness and success and to never have to feel as discouraged as I have.  And to me it is actually sweet when a newbie has a BFP right away and they are gone as quickly as they appeared.  (Which doesn't mean I'm not jealous also.)

I definitely understand it making you feel sadder and a little grumpy, though. 

I am a little sorry for myself because one of my friends with two teenage daughters is PG and I just found out tonight.  Even my middle-aged friends are getting pregnant again, after years, before I can.

I feel like everyone I know is pregnant. Everyone! BUT... G-d works in mysterious ways, right? A minor miracle happened today-- I got my second baby shower invitation today. It's on the exact same day as another one, at the exact same time. Seems like I'd only have to go to one, but they're both on a day when DH and I will be returning via plane from a vacation in Florida, so I can't go to either. Nor can I go to one of the girls' work baby showers (we work together), because it's two days before that, and we definitely won't be here! AND a friend who's due in about fifteen minutes isn't coming to our group Christmas party that I'm hosting this weekend, so I won't see her until after the baby is born. So I'm going from 3 pregnant friends at 4 different parties to one friend at one party only :) I love my friends, but this is a relief for me, especially when someone else I know made a pregnancy announcement today (after 2 months of trying)...

[littlest birds]

MBA I do the same kind of visualization!  It gives me a good feeling in the midst of all the rest of the ups and downs.

No, we aren't considering adoption.  I don't feel pulled toward that at all, though I have sometimes thought about fostering. 

Right now I strongly believe that the outcome of this TTC effort is simply what we will accept to be the shape of our lives.  There are other directions I can see myself taking that use my affections and creativity and energy differently, and I think perhaps that is the where we are being led.  I am not yet ready to embrace those alternate paths either, but I am kept very busy right now so there's no rush for new things anyhow.

[musicoholic]

Originally Posted by Kyamo 

Am I the only one being bothered by the title of the One thread this week?  I had to stop reading it awhile back, but I had no issue with seeing the title in the list of threads, until someone decided to add "fantastically fertile"  to the thread title.  Grrr, I know they probably just put that with a "think positive" type of motivation, but from my sad place it totally feels like they are gloating.  

I am so so so so so so sorry.   I didn't even think of it that way when I named it.  You are right, I did do it as a positive motivation/visualisation....   after 4 losses in the past 2 years I guess I'm trying to get out of my own "sad place"...  it was definitely not meant be gloating in any way....  actually the polar opposite.

I know it's easy to type words on a screen, but please know that I am absolutely devastated that I have caused any bad feelings.....  I am literally sitting trying to type through my tears.

I have changed the thread title - and I hope you ladies accept my most sincere apology.  

[lavatea]

A few things:

• I should have added "shed about 30 pounds" to my New Year's resolutions.
• What is the One thread? I haven't even bothered trying to figure it out b/c this thread, Hope Healing and Conceiving Again thread, and the TTC in our 20s thread keep me busy enough. I do see it and wonder about it, though.
• What is Preseed?
• I'm going to take soy again this cycle. Would you guys recommend adding Maca or this Preseed stuff or some other supplement?

[LessTraveledBy]

Originally Posted by littlest birds 

 And to me it is actually sweet when a newbie has a BFP right away and they are gone as quickly as they appeared.  (Which doesn't mean I'm not jealous also.)

Ok... I will be honest, here. I very often cannot stand the people (or at least the behavior) when someone is able to get pregnant easily. Oftentimes then people are not very deep about the whole thing. Some tend to talk about what month they will conceive, exactly how many kids they will have and then some even talk about the dumb stuff like getting pregnant whenever dh looks at them. I actully conceived dd the first month we were able to reverse nfp. YET, I think it is good for people to learn not to take life for granted, whether their own or that of a new baby. Too many people think they are in charge... where in fact they are not.

I always was super thankful for our child and never took her for granted. However, I do know I had some of the "this happened so easily because I have never been on birth control, take great care of myself... blah blah, blah..." I have been taught by life and I actually do wish that upon others as well, to some extent. Just not to the extent we all here are needing to experience it. As I wrote earlier, I know someone who is now throwing a fit because she did not want to get pregnant for years, now wants it and, for the first time ever, it is not happening for her right away. She did not think my cross was very heavy, earlier (and why would she have, as she did not think kids were all that great a thing, I guess). Boy, does she know differently now. Sometimes lessons in life are sooo hard. And I am not saying that is the reason for anyone infertility, to teach a lesson. Just that the lesson is learned, no matter what causes the infertility. RANT OVER.

Infertility, or needing to try for many months, can and sooner or later probably will hit everyone (if one still wants children later on life when it becomes hard or impossible. Though most women won't.) So, yeah... I don't look at the one thread at all, as among my biggest issues is the pain that comes from so many people being blessed with kids, no matter how they treat them. (I mean people I know in real life, nothing to do with the beautiful ladies on the threads here.)

Dh and I took Maca last cycle and I would definitely recommend it. (Helps with libido and everything.) My problem is that we would have to order the quality stuff from abroad and it gets really expensive, just cannot afford it. Do google it, though, as some brands are great and some just about useless.

At least the maca from Sunfood(s?) is supposed to be great.

MUSICOHOLIC, if you are reading, I am sure no one took it personally and in any way against you as a person. Just hurts, that is all, and it is more, IMO, a problem with MCD and not being able to minimize certain forums or threads. So.. Thank you for your sensitivity. Please, don't feel bad!

I am 8 dpo (Hi MBA! Waving at you.). And I have a sore throat.... which is funny, because I have been taking Benadryl and my parents swear it takes away a cold in about 24 hrs, every time. So, for me, I started to take it while I was healthy, and ended up sick while on it. MBA: I am taking it because some people feel it can help with implantation for those whose bodies are too happy to try to get rid of anything "foreign" in the body. (Something about white blood cells.) I have long thought that my problem may be with implantation, so have nothing to lose by trying. By the time I am 45, I probably weill have ingested every imaginable strange thing in order to help my body conceive. (There must be some pretty exotic "fixes" out there I have never even heard of, yet... ha ha.)

Ladies... Really, what are the chances of not conceiving due to coffee? This question frustrates me greatly. I had no caffeine while getting and being pregnant with dd. However, coffee in moderate amounts makes me so happy and energized and it frustrated me to no end to give it up and that not helping. So, at the moment I am happily drinking it. (And ours is really strong stuff, compated to the normal USA coffee.)

I am  making our home really colorful for Christmas and am loving it! When I was hypo, all I wanted was simple stuff, nothing extra, etc. Since being on medication, I feel like I am making up for the lost color during the lost years. Now I was color and patterns. :)

I wish we could all meet. Want to come over? I will make that strong coffee and we can dance in the snow (for those who like snow) and laugh and cry...

Edited by LessTraveledBy - 12/15/10 at 2:20am

[Sweet.Bee]

LessTraveledBy, miriam_bat_avraham, hi cycles buddies! I'm 9DPO today. I've fallen a bit behind in reading, but thinking of everyone here.

Regarding resolutions, mine are:

- Have a baby in 2011.

- We've been putting money aside each month to buy a house. We did great in 2010, but I think we can save even more in 2011, especially now that I'm working part time.

- Dedicate more time to my writing. :)

So as mentioned, 9DPO today. I don't feel so confident. I've been having off and on cramping for days, but I think I always do. Sure, I could say it's more than usual and I just had this weird CM, but then I'd be grasping at straws again. Just trying to keep myself distracted for the next week.

[Kyamo]

Originally Posted by musicoholic 

Originally Posted by Kyamo 

Am I the only one being bothered by the title of the One thread this week?  I had to stop reading it awhile back, but I had no issue with seeing the title in the list of threads, until someone decided to add "fantastically fertile"  to the thread title.  Grrr, I know they probably just put that with a "think positive" type of motivation, but from my sad place it totally feels like they are gloating.  

I am so so so so so so sorry.   I didn't even think of it that way when I named it.  You are right, I did do it as a positive motivation/visualisation....   after 4 losses in the past 2 years I guess I'm trying to get out of my own "sad place"...  it was definitely not meant be gloating in any way....  actually the polar opposite.

I know it's easy to type words on a screen, but please know that I am absolutely devastated that I have caused any bad feelings.....  I am literally sitting trying to type through my tears.

I have changed the thread title - and I hope you ladies accept my most sincere apology.  

Oh, now I feel bad that you read that and got upset.  I guess I didn't pay attention to who had started the thread and whether they might be reading over here.  I'm sorry, I knew it was meant in a positive way and I didn't mean to force you to change it, I guess I just felt like this was a safe place to complain about it.   Thank you for caring, but I'm sorry I said anything now, I didn't mean to upset anyone.    

[Kyamo]

Originally Posted by miriam_bat_avraham 

I'm afraid to try Clomid without monitoring and the trigger shot-- can you even do that? I thought for some reason that you NEEDED the trigger shot because Clomid induced an artificial cycle and couldn't finish the process on its own.

You don't need a trigger shot with Clomid.  I think a few people don't ovulate without it, but I think usually it is used to guarantee the timing so that the IUI is at the right time.  I did 5 cycles of clomid without trigger shot and ovulated each time.  As for without the monitoring, well only you can say if you are comfortable with that, but if you were monitored last time and didn't have too many eggs, I would guess the same thing would happen without monitoring.  (For those of you who may be remembering my too many eggs issue, I am going back to half of the dose I took this cycle, so I should be ok.)

Disclaimer: not a doctor, yadda yadda.

[littlest birds]

Originally Posted by LessTraveledBy 

Originally Posted by littlest birds 

 And to me it is actually sweet when a newbie has a BFP right away and they are gone as quickly as they appeared.  (Which doesn't mean I'm not jealous also.)

Ok... I will be honest, here. I very often cannot stand the people (or at least the behavior) when someone is able to get pregnant easily. Oftentimes then people are not very deep about the whole thing. Some tend to talk about what month they will conceive, exactly how many kids they will have and then some even talk about the dumb stuff like getting pregnant whenever dh looks at them. I actully conceived dd the first month we were able to reverse nfp. YET, I think it is good for people to learn not to take life for granted, whether their own or that of a new baby. Too many people think they are in charge... where in fact they are not.

I always was super thankful for our child and never took her for granted. However, I do know I had some of the "this happened so easily because I have never been on birth control, take great care of myself... blah blah, blah..." I have been taught by life and I actually do wish that upon others as well, to some extent. Just not to the extent we all here are needing to experience it.

I personally do not know which lessons in life another person should learn.  I have learned a lot of lessons about a lot of different things, while to some I would look foolish about plenty of things and perhaps even offend them by flippant naivete.  Yet those people may not know what is really behind something they hear me say.  And something I do or say may not be as superficial as it seems.  Even if someone is young and ignorant about something, that is a fine way for them to be at that point and they will learn whatever they should learn in good time.  Perhaps they will be as fortunate to have had the rich variety of experiences I have, or even more, or less.  Everyone has and will have life lessons, but if I hardly know someone why judge based on a tiny snapshot of one facet of their lives?  If someone is confident about their fertility and their confidence seems justified great for them. 

Some of my hardest lessons have had to do with having a child on the autistic spectrum and resenting the ways that changed me as a parent and how I live and dream of the future and how our family socializes.  And the things people say can be awful and ignorant.  The parenting advice, the disbelief that there is anything real wrong with ds, that I am way too protective or controlling of him, comments about overdiagnosis and being against "labeling" kids made when I mention the subject. 

Like you I don't like to hear pride and superiority in one personally causing one's good fortune (with fertility or anything) when luck seems more the key to it.  That's like having a sense of entitlement and also believing that you are being awarded for good behavior or merit.  That's kind of icky and can be very offensive.  I think we are raised to believe that we get what we earn in life.  Many people believe that one's wealth is a sign of how good a person you were to earn it, and that it is therefore deserved, and that others' poverty is the result of their poor choices and therefore also earned.   As with fertility, many people who make an effort to take care of themselves overall attribute their good health to their actions and make it seem that others' health problems are a result of their bad choices.   I have been guilty of thinking that way about health myself although I don't think I vocalized such thoughts.  Maturity ultimately makes us realize that we don't always have the option of being in control of our bodies and that our blessings in health are in fact blessings not rewards.  For most, fertility will not be the issue, but I think this lesson about not being in control happens pretty thoroughly for most.

And then there are teenagers, LOL.  We so don't get to have things in those relationships be the way we want them.  We definitely will all have chances to learn plenty of lessons about not being in control one way or another tee hee.   I'd say that parents of teens who would still like to have more children are overall in the minority.

Okay I am rambling and rattling on about this--I'm sorry!

ON COFFEE

I have been a heavy coffee drinker before without it affecting my fertility.  However, it can encourage estrogen dominance for some women, which can mess with cycles and with pH and make it slightly harder to carry a baby.  I've also heard caffeine makes sperm friskier and can be a good thing.  (before bed?)  I think for most women it is not a problem.  I don't think it is necessary to give it up when TTC and that we shouldn't deprive ourselves too much when we've been at it a long time.

I think it is really hard on me--I would drink a lot of it, strong, and whether decaf or not it made me feel kind of messed up.  I loved it.  I quit both to save $$$ and for health but I was not interested in quitting for TTC only.  I was very dependent on it and get pulled back into that pattern easily.

COLORFUL sounds delightful!  Though when you say it that way I wonder if my quest for the minimalism and decluttering means there is something wrong with me.