Bitter Sushi Ladies, December Edition - Page 15

[miriam_bat_avraham]

Originally Posted by BelovedK 

MBA, I think it's cool that you are belly dancing, I hope you get your BFP, we need to graduate! Yay for DECAF FRAPPUCINOS  I hope there is something else in your belly well, your uterus) Don't give up hope 

Thank you <333 You're a belly dancer too, correct? I only just started. What style do you perform? I'm ATS :)

I love the photos of you and Bella-- two beautiful ladies! Part of me really looks forward to having older kids (and part of me is terrified of them, lol).

Are you planning to test today?

Also, I'm East Coast too-- Boston area :)

Originally Posted by mamamerle 

My favorite answer is "Thanks for asking about my sex life... DH and I throw down all.the.time! Perhaps we are doing it wrong. What is your favorite position?" 

That usually shuts them up.

Amazing!

Originally Posted by musicoholic 
 

Yes, Robert Jordan (and Brandon Sanderson now, because Jordan is no longer with us.  The story is still good...  just a less mature way of writing, if that makes sense.  I think Jordan's wife did make a good choice in Sanderson though).

I love Robin Hobb too...  and Jeffrey Deaver (just for a macabre change of genre....).....  I have so many books I need to buy a new bookshelf SOON.  The piles next to the full one just do not look good.

Nix?  Is it sad I don't know that name?  But that gives me a good reason to go shopping!!!!  Book-shopping is the only kind of shopping I like!!! Woo hoo!!!  

I have a book list somewhere of books I need to read, as well as a documented list of every book I have read since 2004.  That's not a weird thing to do, right? lol.

The awesomest thing about Garth Nix is that that isn't a pen name... he just happened to be born with a "perfect for young adult fantasy fiction" name! It makes him sound badass. My name (first and last together) makes me sound like a cute and quirky kindergarten teacher from a children's book or something...

Originally Posted by Jane 

Beloved - if you are pregnant, you'll be pregnant on monday, and tuesday, and wednesday, all the way until that sweet baby is in your arms.  Wait.  Enjoy the possibility - you've had so many months without the possibility of a baby growing inside you. 

Great advice. Wish I'd followed it instead of wasting 3 FRERs in 2 days...

Originally Posted by lavatea 

Originally Posted by musicoholic 

 Are there any bookworms in here?  I'm on holidays for the next 5 weeks or so, so have been voraciously catching up on my reading (just finished the lastest installment of the Wheel of Time series, and reading Mao's Last Dancer at the moment)...  any suggestions?

I just finished Outliers. Awesome book, easy to read, and really makes you think. It's nonfiction, but it was really good.

AFM - CD7. Total snooze fest. I missed temping yesterday morning and won't be able to temp this morning. I'm currently sitting in a hospital room two hours from home. My grandfather collapsed two days ago while he was out of town. So my sister and I are spending the night tonight so my aunts and uncles could get some sleep. I've also missed taking my soy for various reasons (remembered to take it CD3, forgot CD4 so took that dose on the morning of CD5, forgot the night of CD5 and was here last night, CD6, without the soy). I may take my double dose tonight anyway, but I doubt it will matter. I think DH and I are going to follow that sperm-meets-egg plan, so I need to buy some OPKs. I've never used those before so we'll see what that's like.

I love books like Outliers! I just read The Tipping Point and Blink by Malcolm Gladwell, and both Freakonomics and Superfreakonomics by two guys who are both named Steve (one's Steven/Stephen Dubner, I believe). All awesome books.

How is your grandfather today? :(

Originally Posted by BelovedK 

Amanda, I'm up. I'm on the East Coast, but get up super early to see DH off to work

My temp plummeted today. I haven't been temping, but decided to this morning to see if it would be high, but it was my usual low temp so I guess today will be the day. I have such a "whatever" "Oh well" attitude, at least it's better than crying like I used to. It's just that after so many cycles of disappointment, one becomes numb to it.

I will admit that I did cry yesterday because my stepdaughter is expecting, and I am so happy for her, but it gave me a twinge, and I wished it could've been me posting an announcement on FB

I stopped temping. I don't need to because of my monitoring and fertility treatments, and I'm glad for it. It was just so much, every day. Every day for two years is a long time... including some missed temps, that's still over 700 temperatures taken and recorded and probably overanalyzed.

I'm so tired of being happy for other pregnant women. Two were over my house yesterday, dear friends who I love, but it can be hard to be around them. And a girl at work. And at least four moms that I know at work, including three from my classroom last year. And then more and more FB announcements, and my one fairly new online friend who I regret adding because ALL SHE TALKS ABOUT is her, like 4-week-something-day pregnancy and how she's already figured out her unborn child's star chart and favorite flavor of ice cream and who documents every single symptom like she's Pregnancy Patient Zero and we can all learn from it for research purposes. Aaahhhhhhhhhh!!!!

AFM... where to begin, hmm. Well, BFN, for starters. Three, actually. I went out and bought a test yesterday and tested with SMU, but it was concentrated-looking. Then I tested again at night. Then today, mid-peeing, I suddenly grabbed my little plastic cup and tested again, using up $22 of tests in two days, sigh. And I don't know why I tested on my way to the doctor's office for a blood draw, but I did. So all BFNs, and I'm expecting the blood draw will be a bust, two, particularly since twice now I've had "OH GEEZ SOMEONE JUST STABBED ME IN THE STOMACH" sudden painful intense cramping that lasts about 30-45 seconds and then goes away, once last night (much worse) and once this morning (not as bad).... of course, this morning it was right as I was signing in for blood work, heh. Not a good sign.

My cousin, who is a psychic for lack of a better word (not something I really believe in EXCEPT for her, for a lot of reasons), went into a witchcraft-y store yesterday and bought me two gifts. She was laughing on the phone telling me about them-- it's a moonstone necklace (moonstone is supposed to help with fertility) and a goddess necklace made of bone. She's overnighting them to be so they can be here for the crazy full moon eclipse solstice we're having tonight/tomorrow. She said they're going to be super powerful, and she bought me two so I wouldn't have to feel like I'm wearing the same necklace all the time... but knowing me, I'll probably wear both of them together every day! I'm excited for the necklaces. She said she knows for sure that I have "good things just around the corner," and she's never been wrong when she says something like that.

[enigo]

I often feel like if I could just know I wasn't going to have another child I could get used to it. Just let me know so I can get on with my life. Just so every month I wasn't gearing up to try again... all ridiculously hopeful like a fool. Only to occasionally get pregnant and lose the baby. Why do I feel each time I get pregnant that THIS time the baby will make it?

I used to get asked all the time if we were having more kids when DS was 1-3 years old. Now that he's 4.5 I don't get asked as often...weird huh?

Only a couple of my friends know I've had 3 mc. (Well 4 mc I guess if we're counting the chemical the other month.) Anyone else only knows about the first since I shouted it from the frickin' rooftops at 4 wks along.

That was awesome having to untell people when they asked me how I was doing, thinking I was still pregnant. No one knows about the last chemical pregnancy besides my husband. I'm done telling people I'm pregnant until the baby is crowning.

[rcr]

Originally Posted by miriam_bat_avraham 

I stopped temping. I don't need to because of my monitoring and fertility treatments, and I'm glad for it. It was just so much, every day. Every day for two years is a long time... including some missed temps, that's still over 700 temperatures taken and recorded and probably overanalyzed.

I'm so tired of being happy for other pregnant women. Two were over my house yesterday, dear friends who I love, but it can be hard to be around them. And a girl at work. And at least four moms that I know at work, including three from my classroom last year. And then more and more FB announcements, and my one fairly new online friend who I regret adding because ALL SHE TALKS ABOUT is her, like 4-week-something-day pregnancy and how she's already figured out her unborn child's star chart and favorite flavor of ice cream and who documents every single symptom like she's Pregnancy Patient Zero and we can all learn from it for research purposes. Aaahhhhhhhhhh!!!!

AFM... where to begin, hmm. Well, BFN, for starters. Three, actually. I went out and bought a test yesterday and tested with SMU, but it was concentrated-looking. Then I tested again at night. Then today, mid-peeing, I suddenly grabbed my little plastic cup and tested again, using up $22 of tests in two days, sigh. And I don't know why I tested on my way to the doctor's office for a blood draw, but I did. So all BFNs, and I'm expecting the blood draw will be a bust, two, particularly since twice now I've had "OH GEEZ SOMEONE JUST STABBED ME IN THE STOMACH" sudden painful intense cramping that lasts about 30-45 seconds and then goes away, once last night (much worse) and once this morning (not as bad).... of course, this morning it was right as I was signing in for blood work, heh. Not a good sign.

My cousin, who is a psychic for lack of a better word (not something I really believe in EXCEPT for her, for a lot of reasons), went into a witchcraft-y store yesterday and bought me two gifts. She was laughing on the phone telling me about them-- it's a moonstone necklace (moonstone is supposed to help with fertility) and a goddess necklace made of bone. She's overnighting them to be so they can be here for the crazy full moon eclipse solstice we're having tonight/tomorrow. She said they're going to be super powerful, and she bought me two so I wouldn't have to feel like I'm wearing the same necklace all the time... but knowing me, I'll probably wear both of them together every day! I'm excited for the necklaces. She said she knows for sure that I have "good things just around the corner," and she's never been wrong when she says something like that.

I am super-excited about the eclipse too. A friend of ours is having a party and people are camping in the back yard, but DH and DS are home with the flu today, so I don't feel like doing it by myself. I am still excited to see it though. I never heard that about moonstone. I have a ring that I am going to try to find tonight!

Sorry about the bfn, all the pregnant women, and general ttc-suckeyness. 2 years is a really long time to temp. I stopped after a year, and just started again.

Originally Posted by enigo 

I often feel like if I could just know I wasn't going to have another child I could get used to it. Just let me know so I can get on with my life. Just so every month I wasn't gearing up to try again... all ridiculously hopeful like a fool. Only to occasionally get pregnant and lose the baby. Why do I feel each time I get pregnant that THIS time the baby will make it?

I used to get asked all the time if we were having more kids when DS was 1-3 years old. Now that he's 4.5 I don't get asked as often...weird huh?

Only a couple of my friends know I've had 3 mc. (Well 4 mc I guess if we're counting the chemical the other month.) Anyone else only knows about the first since I shouted it from the frickin' rooftops at 4 wks along.

That was awesome having to untell people when they asked me how I was doing, thinking I was still pregnant. No one knows about the last chemical pregnancy besides my husband. I'm done telling people I'm pregnant until the baby is crowning.

Right there with you, Enigo... un-telling people was horrible. Not something I want to do again.

Beloved, how ya doing?

LTB - I don't know what to say to reply to them, but I have enjoyed reading your posts over the weekend. I am not religious, but I really liked the idea that Mary only had one child.

AFM- I got a peak on my monitor for Thursday. DH better hurry up and get better because we are going to BD no matter what, and I really don't want to get sick.

[BelovedK]

rcr, go, go ,gooooo BD away, make a baby <3

enigo, When I had to untell with my last m/c, I had a friend tell a group of friends who all knew, it was easier. I told her to ask them not to mention it to me

MBA, sorry for the BFN

Yes, I belly dance, I was tribal fusion, and a background in some cabaret. I had also taken ATS and love it! Have fun with it!!

I have STILL not started I have also (TMI alert) had several BMs and usually if I am going to start, it shows up then, but nothing. I am cramping a bit. I have no idea what is going on. I am thinking about testing, but then I would be wasting $22 of tests in total

WTF is going on?? I wonder if it is a Christmas miracle?

[rcr]

Originally Posted by BelovedK 

rcr, go, go ,gooooo BD away, make a baby <3

enigo, When I had to untell with my last m/c, I had a friend tell a group of friends who all knew, it was easier. I told her to ask them not to mention it to me

MBA, sorry for the BFN

Yes, I belly dance, I was tribal fusion, and a background in some cabaret. I had also taken ATS and love it! Have fun with it!!

I have STILL not started I have also (TMI alert) had several BMs and usually if I am going to start, it shows up then, but nothing. I am cramping a bit. I have no idea what is going on. I am thinking about testing, but then I would be wasting $22 of tests in total

WTF is going on?? I wonder if it is a Christmas miracle?

Wow. This is getting exciting. I am getting cautiously hopeful for you (and my AF always starts with a BM too) last time I got pregnant, I got more and more excited with every BM and no AF. Come on Christmas baby!

[Jane]

I am prone to delayed grief - it's my default coping strategy.
Dec 16 is the anniversary of discovering that my baby was ectopic. It's kind of all crashing down, the ectopic pregnancy, the two miscarriages, the hope in the chemical. It blows.
Also groking the test results. I started with "yeah! We're normal!!". Now I'm sad there is nothing to do.
I should bleed on Christmas. Then we start femara.
I am worried I will not be pregnant on my march pseudo due date. I've always been newly pregnant and preoccupied on those days. But march is coming.

[rcr]

Jane,

[musicoholic]

Quote:

Originally Posted by miriam_bat_avraham 

I have a book list somewhere of books I need to read, as well as a documented list of every book I have read since 2004.  That's not a weird thing to do, right? lol.

The awesomest thing about Garth Nix is that that isn't a pen name... he just happened to be born with a "perfect for young adult fantasy fiction" name! It makes him sound badass. My name (first and last together) makes me sound like a cute and quirky kindergarten teacher from a children's book or something...

Well, if it's a weird thing to do, then I must be weird as well.  Oh wait - I am already!

And as for names?  Cute and quirky could be good.....  now you need to start writing murder mysteries or thrillers....  

My last name is Fox....  so my students have a habit of calling me "Foxxy Cleopatra".....    Oh well, I can think of much worst things to be called by students...  

I'm so tired of being happy for other pregnant women. Two were over my house yesterday, dear friends who I love, but it can be hard to be around them. And a girl at work. And at least four moms that I know at work, including three from my classroom last year. And then more and more FB announcements, and my one fairly new online friend who I regret adding because ALL SHE TALKS ABOUT is her, like 4-week-something-day pregnancy and how she's already figured out her unborn child's star chart and favorite flavor of ice cream and who documents every single symptom like she's Pregnancy Patient Zero and we can all learn from it for research purposes. Aaahhhhhhhhhh!!!!

These women are everywhere!!!  It's like a freaking epidemic!!!  

This is one "disease" I wish we could volunteer to catch.

AFM... where to begin, hmm. Well, BFN, for starters. Three, actually. I went out and bought a test yesterday and tested with SMU, but it was concentrated-looking. Then I tested again at night. Then today, mid-peeing, I suddenly grabbed my little plastic cup and tested again, using up $22 of tests in two days, sigh. And I don't know why I tested on my way to the doctor's office for a blood draw, but I did. So all BFNs, and I'm expecting the blood draw will be a bust, two, particularly since twice now I've had "OH GEEZ SOMEONE JUST STABBED ME IN THE STOMACH" sudden painful intense cramping that lasts about 30-45 seconds and then goes away, once last night (much worse) and once this morning (not as bad).... of course, this morning it was right as I was signing in for blood work, heh. Not a good sign.

My cousin, who is a psychic for lack of a better word (not something I really believe in EXCEPT for her, for a lot of reasons), went into a witchcraft-y store yesterday and bought me two gifts. She was laughing on the phone telling me about them-- it's a moonstone necklace (moonstone is supposed to help with fertility) and a goddess necklace made of bone. She's overnighting them to be so they can be here for the crazy full moon eclipse solstice we're having tonight/tomorrow. She said they're going to be super powerful, and she bought me two so I wouldn't have to feel like I'm wearing the same necklace all the time... but knowing me, I'll probably wear both of them together every day! I'm excited for the necklaces. She said she knows for sure that I have "good things just around the corner," and she's never been wrong when she says something like that.

I'm hoping against hope that the pains were the start of the good things around the corner for you!!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by enigo 

I'm done telling people I'm pregnant until the baby is crowning.

Yeah that.  The only person I will tell before 13 weeks is my sub-boss - because she's awesome (she knows about the most recent because I broke down in the staff toilets during a "celebration" morning tea for a pregnant colleague) and I don't know if I can fake it through another loss.  

Quote:

Originally Posted by rcr 

Originally Posted by BelovedK 

rcr, go, go ,gooooo BD away, make a baby <3

enigo, When I had to untell with my last m/c, I had a friend tell a group of friends who all knew, it was easier. I told her to ask them not to mention it to me

MBA, sorry for the BFN

Yes, I belly dance, I was tribal fusion, and a background in some cabaret. I had also taken ATS and love it! Have fun with it!!

I have STILL not started I have also (TMI alert) had several BMs and usually if I am going to start, it shows up then, but nothing. I am cramping a bit. I have no idea what is going on. I am thinking about testing, but then I would be wasting $22 of tests in total

WTF is going on?? I wonder if it is a Christmas miracle?

Wow. This is getting exciting. I am getting cautiously hopeful for you (and my AF always starts with a BM too) last time I got pregnant, I got more and more excited with every BM and no AF. Come on Christmas baby!

I'm with rcr!!!!!  Come on Christmas baby!!!

Originally Posted by Jane 

I am prone to delayed grief - it's my default coping strategy.
Dec 16 is the anniversary of discovering that my baby was ectopic. It's kind of all crashing down, the ectopic pregnancy, the two miscarriages, the hope in the chemical. It blows.
Also groking the test results. I started with "yeah! We're normal!!". Now I'm sad there is nothing to do.
I should bleed on Christmas. Then we start femara.
I am worried I will not be pregnant on my march pseudo due date. I've always been newly pregnant and preoccupied on those days. But march is coming.

Oh honey I wish there were words to make it all better...  All these rainbow babies out there need to have a look at us and see how much they are wanted.

[BelovedK]

Originally Posted by Jane 

I am prone to delayed grief - it's my default coping strategy.
Dec 16 is the anniversary of discovering that my baby was ectopic. It's kind of all crashing down, the ectopic pregnancy, the two miscarriages, the hope in the chemical. It blows.
Also groking the test results. I started with "yeah! We're normal!!". Now I'm sad there is nothing to do.
I should bleed on Christmas. Then we start femara.
I am worried I will not be pregnant on my march pseudo due date. I've always been newly pregnant and preoccupied on those days. But march is coming.

Originally Posted by rcr 

Originally Posted by BelovedK 

rcr, go, go ,gooooo BD away, make a baby <3

enigo, When I had to untell with my last m/c, I had a friend tell a group of friends who all knew, it was easier. I told her to ask them not to mention it to me

MBA, sorry for the BFN

Yes, I belly dance, I was tribal fusion, and a background in some cabaret. I had also taken ATS and love it! Have fun with it!!

I have STILL not started I have also (TMI alert) had several BMs and usually if I am going to start, it shows up then, but nothing. I am cramping a bit. I have no idea what is going on. I am thinking about testing, but then I would be wasting $22 of tests in total

WTF is going on?? I wonder if it is a Christmas miracle?

Wow. This is getting exciting. I am getting cautiously hopeful for you (and my AF always starts with a BM too) last time I got pregnant, I got more and more excited with every BM and no AF. Come on Christmas baby!

Originally Posted by musicoholic 

Quote:

Originally Posted by miriam_bat_avraham 

I have a book list somewhere of books I need to read, as well as a documented list of every book I have read since 2004.  That's not a weird thing to do, right? lol.

The awesomest thing about Garth Nix is that that isn't a pen name... he just happened to be born with a "perfect for young adult fantasy fiction" name! It makes him sound badass. My name (first and last together) makes me sound like a cute and quirky kindergarten teacher from a children's book or something...

Well, if it's a weird thing to do, then I must be weird as well.  Oh wait - I am already!

And as for names?  Cute and quirky could be good.....  now you need to start writing murder mysteries or thrillers....  

My last name is Fox....  so my students have a habit of calling me "Foxxy Cleopatra".....    Oh well, I can think of much worst things to be called by students...  

I'm so tired of being happy for other pregnant women. Two were over my house yesterday, dear friends who I love, but it can be hard to be around them. And a girl at work. And at least four moms that I know at work, including three from my classroom last year. And then more and more FB announcements, and my one fairly new online friend who I regret adding because ALL SHE TALKS ABOUT is her, like 4-week-something-day pregnancy and how she's already figured out her unborn child's star chart and favorite flavor of ice cream and who documents every single symptom like she's Pregnancy Patient Zero and we can all learn from it for research purposes. Aaahhhhhhhhhh!!!!

These women are everywhere!!!  It's like a freaking epidemic!!!  

This is one "disease" I wish we could volunteer to catch.

AFM... where to begin, hmm. Well, BFN, for starters. Three, actually. I went out and bought a test yesterday and tested with SMU, but it was concentrated-looking. Then I tested again at night. Then today, mid-peeing, I suddenly grabbed my little plastic cup and tested again, using up $22 of tests in two days, sigh. And I don't know why I tested on my way to the doctor's office for a blood draw, but I did. So all BFNs, and I'm expecting the blood draw will be a bust, two, particularly since twice now I've had "OH GEEZ SOMEONE JUST STABBED ME IN THE STOMACH" sudden painful intense cramping that lasts about 30-45 seconds and then goes away, once last night (much worse) and once this morning (not as bad).... of course, this morning it was right as I was signing in for blood work, heh. Not a good sign.

My cousin, who is a psychic for lack of a better word (not something I really believe in EXCEPT for her, for a lot of reasons), went into a witchcraft-y store yesterday and bought me two gifts. She was laughing on the phone telling me about them-- it's a moonstone necklace (moonstone is supposed to help with fertility) and a goddess necklace made of bone. She's overnighting them to be so they can be here for the crazy full moon eclipse solstice we're having tonight/tomorrow. She said they're going to be super powerful, and she bought me two so I wouldn't have to feel like I'm wearing the same necklace all the time... but knowing me, I'll probably wear both of them together every day! I'm excited for the necklaces. She said she knows for sure that I have "good things just around the corner," and she's never been wrong when she says something like that.

I'm hoping against hope that the pains were the start of the good things around the corner for you!!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by enigo 

I'm done telling people I'm pregnant until the baby is crowning.

Yeah that.  The only person I will tell before 13 weeks is my sub-boss - because she's awesome (she knows about the most recent because I broke down in the staff toilets during a "celebration" morning tea for a pregnant colleague) and I don't know if I can fake it through another loss.  

Quote:

Originally Posted by rcr 

Originally Posted by BelovedK 

rcr, go, go ,gooooo BD away, make a baby <3

enigo, When I had to untell with my last m/c, I had a friend tell a group of friends who all knew, it was easier. I told her to ask them not to mention it to me

MBA, sorry for the BFN

Yes, I belly dance, I was tribal fusion, and a background in some cabaret. I had also taken ATS and love it! Have fun with it!!

I have STILL not started I have also (TMI alert) had several BMs and usually if I am going to start, it shows up then, but nothing. I am cramping a bit. I have no idea what is going on. I am thinking about testing, but then I would be wasting $22 of tests in total

WTF is going on?? I wonder if it is a Christmas miracle?

Wow. This is getting exciting. I am getting cautiously hopeful for you (and my AF always starts with a BM too) last time I got pregnant, I got more and more excited with every BM and no AF. Come on Christmas baby!

I'm with rcr!!!!!  Come on Christmas baby!!!

Originally Posted by Jane 

I am prone to delayed grief - it's my default coping strategy.
Dec 16 is the anniversary of discovering that my baby was ectopic. It's kind of all crashing down, the ectopic pregnancy, the two miscarriages, the hope in the chemical. It blows.
Also groking the test results. I started with "yeah! We're normal!!". Now I'm sad there is nothing to do.
I should bleed on Christmas. Then we start femara.
I am worried I will not be pregnant on my march pseudo due date. I've always been newly pregnant and preoccupied on those days. But march is coming.

Oh honey I wish there were words to make it all better...  All these rainbow babies out there need to have a look at us and see how much they are wanted.

I am sooo pulling for you.

I am fully expecting to find af, I won't keep deluding myself, but it is hard not to be excited. Still no flow. (November 2 years ago was my first DD since TTC.) Now people from my old DDC are lapping me I'm going to go check again. Longest LP ever, or else a freakishly late O.

[miriam_bat_avraham]

 It's official... 2 years of trying, and my mom was wrong about me being pregnant before the end of the year.

Well, my consolation prize is a vacation with fruity alcoholic beverages, amusement park rides I can go on, and no fear of a m/c or anything else bad happening while I'm in another state a thousand miles from home. So there's that.

We'll probably be skipping the next cycle due to timing with our vacation, but the nurse I spoke with today said we can figure out the exact timing when I call in my CD 1. The plan for the next cycle we do will be Clomid + IUI again, although I'm hoping to convince them to let us move on to injectables if that's a possibility. Higher success rate.

When we first started trying it was Christmas Day, and we had this idea that it would be our last Christmas just the two of us. I was shocked and upset when, that next Christmas, we didn't have a baby AND I wasn't even pregnant. This is the next Christmas after that.

Oh, and today I had to sign a card for a pregnant coworker. I wrote, basically, "heeeeeeeey so, congrats." But nicer. It was literally the most I could muster. She understands (she had multiple losses and we had a chat about infertility stuff a while back, before she got pregnant), and hopefully it just looks like I didn't have much space to write in (which is true).

This is kind of random, but does anyone (Jane, maybe? I feel like you might know this) know the name of that morning sickness medication from the 80's that got banned? I think it's the one my mom took, and it's supposed to have caused some health problems in the children later on. I'm wondering if infertility is one of them. Grasping at straws...
 

Originally Posted by BelovedK 

rcr, go, go ,gooooo BD away, make a baby <3

enigo, When I had to untell with my last m/c, I had a friend tell a group of friends who all knew, it was easier. I told her to ask them not to mention it to me

MBA, sorry for the BFN

Yes, I belly dance, I was tribal fusion, and a background in some cabaret. I had also taken ATS and love it! Have fun with it!!

I have STILL not started I have also (TMI alert) had several BMs and usually if I am going to start, it shows up then, but nothing. I am cramping a bit. I have no idea what is going on. I am thinking about testing, but then I would be wasting $22 of tests in total

WTF is going on?? I wonder if it is a Christmas miracle?

 I am sooo pulling for you.I am fully expecting to find af, I won't keep deluding myself, but it is hard not to be excited. Still no flow. (November 2 years ago was my first DD since TTC.) Now people from my old DDC are lapping me  I'm going to go check again. Longest LP ever, or else a freakishly late O.

I am sending every ounce of hope I had for myself to you. Someone's gotta get pregnant from our group. I nominate you as the next one :) This sounds promising, I don't want to get your hopes up but I'm willing to be hopeful on your behalf so you don't have to be :)

Originally Posted by Jane 

I am prone to delayed grief - it's my default coping strategy.
Dec 16 is the anniversary of discovering that my baby was ectopic. It's kind of all crashing down, the ectopic pregnancy, the two miscarriages, the hope in the chemical. It blows.
Also groking the test results. I started with "yeah! We're normal!!". Now I'm sad there is nothing to do.
I should bleed on Christmas. Then we start femara.
I am worried I will not be pregnant on my march pseudo due date. I've always been newly pregnant and preoccupied on those days. But march is coming.

I have a friend who has bad associations with March, too. I call her every day in March and have every year for about four or five years now. It's a tough thing to break out of once it starts :(

I feel for you right now. You really deserve your BFP and sticky baby, and I hope it comes soon. <3

Originally Posted by musicoholic 

Quote:

Originally Posted by miriam_bat_avraham 

I have a book list somewhere of books I need to read, as well as a documented list of every book I have read since 2004.  That's not a weird thing to do, right? lol.

The awesomest thing about Garth Nix is that that isn't a pen name... he just happened to be born with a "perfect for young adult fantasy fiction" name! It makes him sound badass. My name (first and last together) makes me sound like a cute and quirky kindergarten teacher from a children's book or something...

Well, if it's a weird thing to do, then I must be weird as well.  Oh wait - I am already!

And as for names?  Cute and quirky could be good.....  now you need to start writing murder mysteries or thrillers....  

My last name is Fox....  so my students have a habit of calling me "Foxxy Cleopatra".....    Oh well, I can think of much worst things to be called by students...  

I'm so tired of being happy for other pregnant women. Two were over my house yesterday, dear friends who I love, but it can be hard to be around them. And a girl at work. And at least four moms that I know at work, including three from my classroom last year. And then more and more FB announcements, and my one fairly new online friend who I regret adding because ALL SHE TALKS ABOUT is her, like 4-week-something-day pregnancy and how she's already figured out her unborn child's star chart and favorite flavor of ice cream and who documents every single symptom like she's Pregnancy Patient Zero and we can all learn from it for research purposes. Aaahhhhhhhhhh!!!!

These women are everywhere!!!  It's like a freaking epidemic!!!  

This is one "disease" I wish we could volunteer to catch.

AFM... where to begin, hmm. Well, BFN, for starters. Three, actually. I went out and bought a test yesterday and tested with SMU, but it was concentrated-looking. Then I tested again at night. Then today, mid-peeing, I suddenly grabbed my little plastic cup and tested again, using up $22 of tests in two days, sigh. And I don't know why I tested on my way to the doctor's office for a blood draw, but I did. So all BFNs, and I'm expecting the blood draw will be a bust, two, particularly since twice now I've had "OH GEEZ SOMEONE JUST STABBED ME IN THE STOMACH" sudden painful intense cramping that lasts about 30-45 seconds and then goes away, once last night (much worse) and once this morning (not as bad).... of course, this morning it was right as I was signing in for blood work, heh. Not a good sign.

My cousin, who is a psychic for lack of a better word (not something I really believe in EXCEPT for her, for a lot of reasons), went into a witchcraft-y store yesterday and bought me two gifts. She was laughing on the phone telling me about them-- it's a moonstone necklace (moonstone is supposed to help with fertility) and a goddess necklace made of bone. She's overnighting them to be so they can be here for the crazy full moon eclipse solstice we're having tonight/tomorrow. She said they're going to be super powerful, and she bought me two so I wouldn't have to feel like I'm wearing the same necklace all the time... but knowing me, I'll probably wear both of them together every day! I'm excited for the necklaces. She said she knows for sure that I have "good things just around the corner," and she's never been wrong when she says something like that.

I'm hoping against hope that the pains were the start of the good things around the corner for you!!!

My name went from "very Italian sounding" to "Oh, how sweet!" But at least people can spell it now. And there are a TON of people with my name, whereas before I could only find one other Julie _____, and she's an interpretive dancer in NYC, soooo basically the opposite of me. Now there are enough of "me" that I started a Facebook group for us ;)

Hey, and if anyone's on FB, I'm happy to add you! I don't care about people knowing my name, I'm just not going to post it publicly here where it's linked to this username. But y'all are cool. Just shoot me a PM.

Fox is a great last name, by the way! It makes everything sound cool :)

[musicoholic]

MBA - are you thinking of Bendectin maybe?

Edited by musicoholic - 12/20/10 at 4:37pm

[BelovedK]

MBA, PM sent... same goes, if anyone wants to be added, PM me for a link

STILL no af.

Man, it's gonna be quite the let down. In the morning I temp, and if it goes back up, I will test with FMU (I have yet to test with FMU)

We just got back from seeing my grandfather, he is dying, hospice is with him, and it is sooo sad He is such a loving and sweet man. I am feeling ultra cranky, must be PMS.

[miriam_bat_avraham]

Originally Posted by musicoholic 

MBA - are you thinking of Bendectin maybe?

I might have been! I looked it up and it seems that it actually wasn't dangerous but they pulled it because there was so much hysteria over it. So I guess that wasn't what caused my problems... juuuuust me. Hmph.

Interestingly, it was pulled in 1983, the year I was born.

Originally Posted by BelovedK 

MBA, PM sent... same goes, if anyone wants to be added, PM me for a link

STILL no af.

Man, it's gonna be quite the let down. In the morning I temp, and if it goes back up, I will test with FMU (I have yet to test with FMU)

We just got back from seeing my grandfather, he is dying, hospice is with him, and it is sooo sad He is such a loving and sweet man. I am feeling ultra cranky, must be PMS.

Oh, Beloved, I'm sorry about your grandfather. I remember when my Papa was sick and it was terrible and sad.  :hug

I really, really hope you get a BFP tomorrow. It's a magic day! I will be sending you all my magic juju (hasn't been working for me, but maybe it'll work for you).

[miriam_bat_avraham]

Okay, I did some processing and some accepting, and... I'm okay. I had a good day with the kids at work-- lots of random silly moments, like sweeping a child up into the air and just dancing to oldies music, and knocking towers over a million times, and a little more cuddling than we normally have time for, and our first snow of the year... so today was okay. Up and down moments (plus one little boy in our class left for the day on Friday and is now apparently not coming back, so we never got to say goodbye to him -- sometimes I wonder if the parents know, or even consider, what it does to us to love these kids and then have them just disappear). But overall, today was okay. Good, even.

I'm trying to embrace having a month off from TTC. I want to actively use that time for a lot of reflection and finding peace. I have to believe that there's something I still need to "do" before a baby will come to us. It may sound cheesy to say that, but I'm trying to build my spiritual self up a bit and get more grounded and stable, emotionally. It's been a really hard year for us, and I especially need to be able to support DH right now while we get through the holidays without his dad for the first time, and with his mother rapidly deteriorating.

So I downloaded a few new meditations off Amazon, and I'm going to try and go to the gym again and eating better. Life has been, in general, very "grab and go" and that definitely pertains to the food I've been eating and how I've been taking care of myself in general.

So... we'll see.

Sorry for the wall o' text all about myself  but who would I be if not desperate, devastated and then hopeful again all in two days' time? Not myself, certainly. 

[LessTraveledBy]

ENIGO: I know exactly what you mean about just wanting to know if there will never be another child.... Just to be able to move on.
 

MBA: So sorry... But happpy about your vacation and that you are feeling more peaceful right now.

BELOVEDK: I am so hoping for you!

CD1 for me. I think I had the more violent emotions yesterday. Right now I just feel defeated and like I might throw up from the confusion and injustice of it all. I need closure... decisions.... guidance, and I cannot have any. I don't know whether to somehow pursue adoption (no money for that), to go see a gyno again (no help, really, and cannot pay for the stuff she suggested).... I don't know what to do, and it is killing me. The only (silly!) solution I have to feeling better is that I am going to stop visiting certain friends. I always end up feeling like crap afterwards. This is nothing more than the fit of a child, really... Not a good solution, but it is the only way I have to guard my heart at least a bit.

I just found out that my country is about to make independent adoptions illegal. This is interesting because they have been said to be illegal to begin with... so now I find out they haven't been and are not at the moment. BUT any adoption takes a lot of money... which we don't have. It sounds like I could fly abroad to an "indy" country right now, and adopt... If we had something like $15-20 000. We are a student and SAHM. I only work maybe 8 hours a week from home and we have a job our whole family does, 4 hours a week. So yeah... No extra thousands in the bank account. I have always liked our simple lifestyle but, in this matter, it sucks.

My plan after the baby years is to buy a little wooden house in the country side (though still near the capital) and live there, quietly and creatively with dh and the bigger,  homeschooled kid(s). Actually, that is what I would like already but could wait if there were more babies coming. However, my family and friends (and church) are all in the capital region. I think you can imagine how many people want to live in a cute little house with land, within 40 mins of the capital. So, yeah... I have two great dreams, which would both require a lot of money. Unless I could get pregnant.... and you all know how well that is going.

I want OUT..... out of where we live right now. (It is great in many ways, but does not fit our personalities at all. I want out of the suburbs.) Out of infertility or at least the limbo of trying and endlessly failing, and feeling like someone keeps punching the air out of me.  Just want to know if there is something I am supposed to do. Adoption feels so right to me, but my hands are completely tied.

[BelovedK]

LTB, that sounds like such a perfect situation. I hope you are able to either get pregnant or adopt. I am an adopted child, and I can say that today, the way adoptions are done is much better than when I was adopted with the secret closed files, and keeping the baby (me) in a foster home for months before they approved my parents. I hope you can find a way. It sucks that it costs so much money I will be thinking about you (sorry for cd1)

MBA, I'm sorry you lost the little boy I can only imagine how attached you get to them, and to have them just disappear. I'll bet it was hard for him too It's great that you are in that space too, taking a break can be refreshing. I know mine was.

Me? Well, no af yet, but I did waste a FRER ( my last one) I am not knocked up, just very late for some reason. I wonder if my illness in November caused an anovulatory cycle? If so, maybe I'll release 2 eggs next month and have twins I just don't want to be bleeding heavy on Xmas with all of the driving and family around. Please, af, just show up.

Well, I'm working today, a long day, wish me prosperous thoughts.

[LessTraveledBy]

BelovedK...... so sorry! I was really hoping for you... for all of us. Not a lot of news here, lately. But then again, that is why we are here The non-news group of ladies.

For the first time I feel like I need some help. I am just not able to become one of those "other women" who only want one or two kids. I don't understand them at all. I really wish I could. I mean we have a dd, so some people would not even be trying and thus would not need to deal with this pain. As a matter of fact, they might be quite happy with low fertility/infertility. I cannot spend the next 10 years crying and feeling like my body is failing me and like my life will never be anything like my dreams. I MUST find a way, not just to accept this (as in some ways I have) but to get rid of fhe feelings which makes my every day life so painful. It helps that I know there are people who pray for me and hurt with me, but I cannot live and raise our daugter this way.

So, anyway.. thanks for listening, and please do tell me if you can suggest any books. Not about infertility so much, I guess (unless there are books out there about letting go) but about moving on with a broken heart.

[enigo]

Originally Posted by miriam_bat_avraham 

This is kind of random, but does anyone (Jane, maybe? I feel like you might know this) know the name of that morning sickness medication from the 80's that got banned? I think it's the one my mom took, and it's supposed to have caused some health problems in the children later on. I'm wondering if infertility is one of them. Grasping at straws...
  

Thalidomide ....
 

[collieflower]

Quote:

Originally Posted by LessTraveledBy 

 Not a lot of news here, lately. But then again, that is why we are here The non-news group of ladies.

Hey Ladies! Wow-I’ve been offline for a few days while celebrating my best friend’s wedding (which was a blast. And the upside to the most recent miscarriage is that I could drink! Many drinks! For the first time in two years!). I came back to pages and pages of interesting posts. Lots of food for thought. I’ll have to digest and post more later, but just wanted to say hi.

...oh, and for a 'non-news group of ladies', I find all of the BSL posts very interesting and engaging. I'm taking it as a sign that despite our collective fertility challenges, we all lead very full and fascinating lives....

[LessTraveledBy]

Originally Posted by enigo 

Originally Posted by miriam_bat_avraham 

This is kind of random, but does anyone (Jane, maybe? I feel like you might know this) know the name of that morning sickness medication from the 80's that got banned? I think it's the one my mom took, and it's supposed to have caused some health problems in the children later on. I'm wondering if infertility is one of them. Grasping at straws...
  

Thalidomide ....
 

No, that is an earlier thing. The people who had suffered from that are much older than MBA. No idea what the one in the 80's was, though.