Ladies, I would like to join you. I have been lurking for a long time. Some of you know me from the long cycles thread, but I'll go ahead and tell my story for the others. We've been trying for #2 for a year and a half. I'm 35, and I have crazy, long, irregular cycles. I personally believe I have PCOS but have not been diagnosed. My DS is almost 3 and a half, and we conceived him with acupuncture and chinese herbs. That worked fantastically for me, both for straightening out my cycles, helping me ovulate, and I got pregnant after only 4 months of acupuncture! I would absolutely love to do that again, but the problem is that we are currently living in a smaller city so that DH can get his masters, and there are no acupuncturists or herbalists here, and the closest ones are 3 hours away. The closest fertility specialists/clinics/RE's are also 3 hours away. So we have basically been playing a waiting game and trying various herbal medicines, etc until we can move. None of it has done anything for us.
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The first 6 months I wasn't charting, but I have charted the past year, and I found that I have only ovulated 5 times in 2010. I had 8 cycles, still on cycle 8, actually, and no O yet on CD 36. So, that is pretty darn discouraging. 5 chances is not alot. We have not been comfortable with any ob.gyns here either, which also makes it hard. They will prescribe me Clomid if I want it, but they don't do monitoring or anything, so I just am a little scared of that.They also don't do testing, and the last one I went to was so ignorant that when I suggested I be tested for PCOS he didn't know what it was!!! I have had these problems with my cycles since I started having periods at almost 14. So, I am pretty sure I have always had trouble ovulating. Especially since I went years and years with no birth control and no pregnancies.
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I found out today that yet another friend who got pregnant AFTER I had my DS is pregnant with her 2nd. This makes 4 in the past couple of months. I have just gotten to the point that I can't hear about it without crying. To make this worse, my son desperately wants a sibling. Actually, he wants more than one! He told us he needs a "bruver" and a sister! He loves babies. And he wants a playmate so badly. It hurts and brings us to tears sometimes. One day we were in the car and he said, I guess my toy puppy will have to be my bruver. And it was all I could do not to bawl. He is truly the light of my life and so precious, and I don't mean to minimize anyone else's struggle who is trying for #1. I am so blessed to have him!!! I just want it as much for him as I do for me now.
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LTB, I feel like I relate to you so much, because I have always wanted a large family. I truly would take as many as God would give me, yet so far God has given me just one. I have left the size of my family in His hands, something DH and I decided when we got married..and yet we only have one. Maybe it is God's will for us to just have one, but I feel that my true calling in life is to be a mother. It's the only thing I have ever wanted. My whole childhood when people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I always said, "A mommy". I always imagined having at least 4 or 5. Now I will feel very lucky if I have 2. It's hard to give up that dream, but realistically, I'm 35, and apparently not very fertile at all. It's funny, it seems like alot of people assume we don't want any more because we have passed up that 2-3 yr age difference now, and I'm getting older. It's also been really hard when I see people who aren't trying/don't want more kids, or who I think are not the greatest of parents get pregnant so easily.
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I only have one friend who has really struggled with infertility. She tried for 2 yrs before getting twins by IUI.So, she's the only real life friend I have to talk to about it.I have 2 other friends who know we're trying, but they have quit asking about it, and I've mostly quit talking about it. I have never wanted to do medical interventions, but we are definitely thinking about it now. DH says he is willing to do whatever it takes, even IVF. I have mixed feelings about IVF. But I think now I am willing to try Clomid, if I had a good doctor. I just cannot wait until we move, and have more options! Hopefully, that will be very soon. DH is working on his thesis and basically as soon as he gets a job somewhere else we can go. It can't come fast enough for us.
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On a positive note, an intuitive told me last year that i would have another baby, but not until 2011. So, I hope she was right! My plan is to focus on getting healthier (i need to lose 25 lbs), and trying to focus on all the positives in my life, this coming year. Hopefully that will help me get a baby!! I really think it might help if I lost my weight. I have been trying to lose it for some time now but nothing's worked. Still, I'm going to try even harder. DH also needs to lose quite a bit of weight and we decided we are going to start P90X on Monday. He did it before and lost 20 lbs pretty quickly. I also want to work on writing a book this year (a lifelong goal of mine). I hope I can provide a ray of light for some of you out there sometimes when you are low. I know we all have our low days, and today I am having one, but 2011 is a new year and I hope we will see lots of BFP's very soon!!!
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Nice to meet y'all, and Happy New Year's Day!!
and today I have just had an extremely bad day 
I won't go into details, but some pretty scary things happened today (DD and I were threatened by someone when my car broke down in front of his house, and he had a gun in his pocket ) That is not even all, more bad things going on.
 
and today I have just had an extremely bad day 
I won't go into details, but some pretty scary things happened today (DD and I were threatened by someone when my car broke down in front of his house, and he had a gun in his pocket ) That is not even all, more bad things going on.
  
I'm glad you found your way over here, there is much support to be had, and especially for your feelings when people are pregnant all around, that is so painful in a way not many understand.
