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Bitter Sushi Ladies, December Edition - Page 5

post #81 of 459
Quote:
Originally Posted by BelovedK View Post



Quote:
Originally Posted by enigo View Post

hug2.gif  I felt differently with each mc. With #1 I was blinsided. I had no idea. MC was something that happened to other people. (You know, the ones who don't take care of themselevs). #2 was a shock, because well, it couldn't happen twice in a row. The doc had assured me it was a fluke thing. #2 left me with a renewed sense of optimism and determination to have another baby. With the first two I was pissed!

Strangely... #3 was the most emotionally draining. I really felt like th air/life had been drained out of me. I knew something was wrong from the beginning and I cried every day for the entire pregnancy (That one only lasted 7 weeks, the other two were 12wks). They also seemed to differ physically. #1 was the worst and then on down the line until this past month's chemical. That was easy. Either that or I'm getting desensitized to the whole mess.




hug.gif I have been desensitized to the whole TTC business. enigo, maybe we will end up in the same DDC with sticky babies fingersx.gif

(I am trying so hard to be an optimist)

I forgot to ask, where are you in this cycle? I am confused by my temps, wondering if it is my thermometer.



I am 10 dpo. I tested this morning (even though I swore I wouldn't test at all this cycle, much less this early) and I can't tell if I think I see something.

What about you?

post #82 of 459
Quote:
Originally Posted by enigo View Post



Quote:
Originally Posted by BelovedK View Post



Quote:
Originally Posted by enigo View Post

hug2.gif  I felt differently with each mc. With #1 I was blinsided. I had no idea. MC was something that happened to other people. (You know, the ones who don't take care of themselevs). #2 was a shock, because well, it couldn't happen twice in a row. The doc had assured me it was a fluke thing. #2 left me with a renewed sense of optimism and determination to have another baby. With the first two I was pissed!

Strangely... #3 was the most emotionally draining. I really felt like th air/life had been drained out of me. I knew something was wrong from the beginning and I cried every day for the entire pregnancy (That one only lasted 7 weeks, the other two were 12wks). They also seemed to differ physically. #1 was the worst and then on down the line until this past month's chemical. That was easy. Either that or I'm getting desensitized to the whole mess.




hug.gif I have been desensitized to the whole TTC business. enigo, maybe we will end up in the same DDC with sticky babies fingersx.gif

(I am trying so hard to be an optimist)

I forgot to ask, where are you in this cycle? I am confused by my temps, wondering if it is my thermometer.



I am 10 dpo. I tested this morning (even though I swore I wouldn't test at all this cycle, much less this early) and I can't tell if I think I see something.

What about you?


I have no idea. My temps are wonky. I may test for the heck of it, but I am not expecting anything. I am having sore boobs, and that is a PMS thing for me. I hope you are really seeing something, and it sticks fingersx.gif
post #83 of 459
Good luck Beloved and enigo! Jane, how as the hsg?
post #84 of 459
Thread Starter 

Hsg was fine.  Not painful at all. 

Right tube = fine.  Uterus = fine.  Left tube = no dye at all passed, likely blocked?  That's the side the ectopic was on. 

Labs all back, karotyping was fine, no anti-phospholipid or anti-cardiolipin issues. 

We're on for femara/progesterone in January. 

post #85 of 459

I'd like to join here if I could?  My name is Dana and DH and I have been TTC for a little over two years.  We are both 36 and have been through all the infertility testing, diagnosed as unexplained infertility.   We have had one failed IUI and this cycle we are just doing Clomid (I seem to ovulate on my own but don't make enough progesterone for a decent luteal phase).  Bitter is exactly how I feel right now.  I'm so tired of everyone (especially my MIL) and all their "helpful" comments.  The recurrent conversation right now is that I don't have enough faith to be blessed by God.  DH and I are Christians, but I do not believe that God is a genie and I need to say and do things in some certain way to "get something" from Him.  Blerg.  I wish no one knew that we are even trying, but then we would have to deal with questions about that too. 

 

Don't mean to be a downergreensad.gif  I just feel like I am at the breaking point.  It would be nice to say that I could walk away from TTC for a while, but I think most of us know that even if we aren't talking about it we are still counting our days and hoping through each TWW.  Bleh...

post #86 of 459



 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet.Bee View Post

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kinza View Post

He said that ovulation after day 18 was much too late--there could be no babies from this.

 

Reading this almost made me bawling.gif.

 

Sorry for crashing your discussion thread but I saw this and on the main page and meant to reply earlier.  I've O'd and gotten pg on CD24. I don't know where this doctor gets off saying what he did. grrr.  Hope it helps....

post #87 of 459

WELCOME, INDIANAGRL! Hope your stay will be short.
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by indianagrl View PostThe recurrent conversation right now is that I don't have enough faith to be blessed by God. 



I am sitting here, pretty much yelling at the computer.... Those people..................................... Well, sooner or later something not so nice will happen to them. Is that then also a product of their lack of faith? I am really disgusted that someone would think that, and even more so, that they would be dumb enough to actually say it. I have known of the types that think the better Christian you are, the more (material possessions) God will give you. There sure seems to be a lot of evidence to the contrary.... Anyway, breathing slowly and trying to let go. Would like to meet these people, though... BTW, I am a Christian. No one has ever even suggested anything like this to me. People just keep praying for us and hoping with us. Maybe these relatives are not praying enough or their faith is too weak. ;)

 

I am probably 1 dpo. I want to give birth to an adopted child. (Yes, I am at that point of insanity. If I cannot adopt, at least then I want to give birth to a little orphan... I know... nuts!) I took soy the past two cycles and stopped before this one. This cycle has actually seemed stronger (really felt ovulation) BUT I ovulated a day or two later. Not sure whether soy could help me or not. I mainly stopped because I don't want that level of TTC. I have been at this too long to always keep trying this and that (or I have already tried it all.. ha ha). I will start progesterone cream soon and try to live "normally." I do pretty well until the last week of the cycle. That one is haaard. I am more at peace now, though, than I was just a cycle ago. I hope to keep it that way.

post #88 of 459

Welcome Indianagrl!  I'm sorry people are being so ridiculous.  It is really hurtful when people suggest it is your fault.  I think its pretty clear that the quality of people's actions and thoughts don't determine whether they get what they want.    

post #89 of 459

Welcome Indiangrl. Sorry about comments people make. We deal with that all the time (not the Christian thing, we aren't Christian, but people constantly asking when we are having another, etc...). It is exausting.

 

AFM- I am feeling like I may be pregnant. I feel like this all the time, and AF has showed up. My boobs are sore, and that had not happened in a long time. Maybe it is related to stopping BF though. I also had huge O pains this cycle, which rarely happens at all and never that painful. I am afraid to test. I know it is silly, but the last time I ended up pregnant I did not test until something like CD 18 or 19, because I was cleaning out my mom's house and did not have my stash of tests handy. I kinda knew I was pregnant, since AF did not show up. Every other month I have been at home and tested like crazy every day, many times a day, sometimes as early as CD 5 or 6. I am trying to hold out until Friday or Saturday. I would love to join Tear and Maurine in the August ddc. I actually lurked over there yesterday (bad, bad, bad).

 

post #90 of 459
Quote:
Originally Posted by LessTraveledBy View Post

WELCOME, INDIANAGRL! Hope your stay will be short.
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by indianagrl View PostThe recurrent conversation right now is that I don't have enough faith to be blessed by God. 



I am sitting here, pretty much yelling at the computer.... Those people..................................... Well, sooner or later something not so nice will happen to them. Is that then also a product of their lack of faith? I am really disgusted that someone would think that, and even more so, that they would be dumb enough to actually say it. I have known of the types that think the better Christian you are, the more (material possessions) God will give you. There sure seems to be a lot of evidence to the contrary.... Anyway, breathing slowly and trying to let go. Would like to meet these people, though... BTW, I am a Christian. No one has ever even suggested anything like this to me. People just keep praying for us and hoping with us. Maybe these relatives are not praying enough or their faith is too weak. ;)

 

I am probably 1 dpo. I want to give birth to an adopted child. (Yes, I am at that point of insanity. If I cannot adopt, at least then I want to give birth to a little orphan... I know... nuts!) I took soy the past two cycles and stopped before this one. This cycle has actually seemed stronger (really felt ovulation) BUT I ovulated a day or two later. Not sure whether soy could help me or not. I mainly stopped because I don't want that level of TTC. I have been at this too long to always keep trying this and that (or I have already tried it all.. ha ha). I will start progesterone cream soon and try to live "normally." I do pretty well until the last week of the cycle. That one is haaard. I am more at peace now, though, than I was just a cycle ago. I hope to keep it that way.



LTB - Maybe this is lingo I don't know, but I don't understand what you're talking about. Would you explain for me?

post #91 of 459

Welcome Indianagrl - Hope you don't have to stay here long!

  Comments like that would make me livid.  I question the faith of person who said that to you, not yours.  (And I don't even practice religion!)

Quote:
Originally Posted by rcr View Post

AFM- I am feeling like I may be pregnant. I feel like this all the time, and AF has showed up. My boobs are sore, and that had not happened in a long time. Maybe it is related to stopping BF though. I also had huge O pains this cycle, which rarely happens at all and never that painful. I am afraid to test. I know it is silly, but the last time I ended up pregnant I did not test until something like CD 18 or 19, because I was cleaning out my mom's house and did not have my stash of tests handy. I kinda knew I was pregnant, since AF did not show up. Every other month I have been at home and tested like crazy every day, many times a day, sometimes as early as CD 5 or 6. I am trying to hold out until Friday or Saturday. I would love to join Tear and Maurine in the August ddc. I actually lurked over there yesterday (bad, bad, bad).

 

 

rcr, that's exciting!  I really wanted to move over with my girls Tear and Maurine too...  I really hope you do!  How many dpo today? How is your mom?

 


Jane - Well, I guess it's great that it didn't hurt much. (Um, grasping...) What is the plan now, laproscopy?  How are you feeling?

 

AFM- CD6 snooze.  I was at the food co-op yesterday, and EVERYONE was pregnant and smiling at me.

post #92 of 459


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by jenger View Post


rcr, that's exciting!  I really wanted to move over with my girls Tear and Maurine too...  I really hope you do!  How many dpo today? How is your mom?


Yea, it is exciting. I am trying to not get my hopes up too much, because I have felt like I was pregnant before, only to be disappointed. Other than sore boobs, I don't feel any symptoms. It is all in my head.

 

Mom is ok, thanks for asking. She is so funny. She has always been sort-of a quiet leader type, not taking any shit, but doing it very quietly and politely (kwim?) (I on the other hand, am the same way but can't seem to be polite). She can't get out of her assisted living "home" because, obviously, it would be really dangerous for her. Most of the time she does not realize that she can't leave. The other night, I got a call from them that she was trying to start a mutiny and getting all the residents all riled up because she wanted everybody to break out of the place. Even thought she can't remember what happened a minute ago, and doesn't remember me, she still has that quiet, not taking shit, quality about her. I love it. twins.gif It is nice to find something about her situation that makes me happy.

 

Jane - I am sorry. That sounds like a big disappointment. You only need one, right? Is this something that can be fixed? I guess it is good that you found out. hug2.gif

post #93 of 459

Jane, sorry about your left tube. Can they do anything about that?

 

rcrfingersx.gif for an August 2011 due date.

 

jengerhug.gif They are everywhere, aren't they? Just like a reminder. I try to avoid them, but it's hard when I need to visit places like a children's clothing store or go to the playground.

 

 

As for me, I may have ovulated finally. I think on CD30? Those 2 days of fever on CD19/20 make my chart look strange.

http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2e2172

Thank you all for listening to my whining about late ovulation and for your kind words. If I ovulated 2 days ago, I still have a chance at an August baby. Well, assuming I can get pregnant. The next challenge awaits.

 

Love and positive vibes to everyone here!

post #94 of 459
Quote:
Originally Posted by lavatea View Post

LTB - Maybe this is lingo I don't know, but I don't understand what you're talking about. Would you explain for me?


Ha ha... There is little to "get." They are totally irrational thoughts. Basically, it goes like this: For years, I have wanted to get pregnant. Then, finally, I moved on somehow to really wanting to adopt and feeling really good about that. Then I found out that it seems totally impossible that we would be able to adopt for some years, due to partly rules, partly money. So... I am back to the fact that in order to have a child, I need to get pregnant, yet, I still have the stronger desire to adopt. Thus this completely crazy thought that came to me of needing to get pregnant but wanting the baby to be an orphan we can adopt. (So, no, I am not out of my mind. I know that if I give birth to a baby, that is not a baby we need to or can adopt.)

 

Talked with a friend today and got some sympathy. (He mentioned our situation. I try not to talk about it unless someone mentions it, because I am selfish by nature and could talk about it all day.) It felt so good to me understood. So many of my friends seem to think that secondary infertility is unfortunate, but not a very big deal. You know, I should count my blessings (one child and tons of free time). So, whenever someone acknowledges that this is also a cross (and a big one to me), it feels so good. Now that I think of it, I really struggle with how much to listen to the problems of others and how much to talk of my own. I often feel guilty talking about myself "too much" and thus can end up as "the listener." I tend to try to be the mother for everyone, whether that is good or not.

post #95 of 459

...


Edited by miriam_bat_avraham - 11/13/13 at 7:03pm
post #96 of 459
Thread Starter 


 

Quote:
Jane - I am sorry. That sounds like a big disappointment. You only need one, right? Is this something that can be fixed? I guess it is good that you found out. hug2.gif


Oh, I'm good with the info.  With an ectopic pregnancy in the tube, I've never really been sure it's open anyway.  I'm very happy to have a good uterus (as that cannot be replaced) and one good tube. 

It's possible that the left is actually open - they can spasm shut and really be open.  It doesn't really matter, as I've got a right tube. 

post #97 of 459

Keeping my fingers crossed for you, rcr, Beloved and enigo!

 

Jane, when you have one tube blocked, what's the next step? Can you just keep TTC, or do you have to have treatment to ensure you don't have another ectopic? I had to have one of my ovaries cauterized when I had a bad cyst rupture, and they told me the other one should be able to kick in just fine and do double duty. Hope the same is true with your tubes!

 

indianagrl, welcome! I'm sorry to hear that about your family. Although I'm Jewish, I have many Christian relatives, and they have many different perspectives (some more enlightened, some less), but I can confidently say that having a judgmental attitude has less to do with being Christian and more to do with a general lack of understanding of people. As you said, maybe they are trying to be "helpful," but really, who needs that kind of "help"? I hope for their sake that they learn to have more compassion, and in the meantime, you can find people who make you feel better, comforted. I for one think that under no circumstances does god/the universe punish people through their TTC efforts. You may just want to hold your cards closer to your chest where your MIL is concerned, and try to keep up the faith!

 

jenger, isn't it AMAZING how many people suddenly become pregnant when you are TTC!?!

 

Sweet.Bee, mazel tov! Lots of good vibes and baby dust to you.

 

As for me, I think I may be out this cycle. Cramping like mad, and temp plummeted yesterday and today. Although I have yet to start AF proper, I did have this very strange, disconcerting mass of pink-gray tissue appear when I least expected it this afternoon--during a break from an important vendor demo at work, no less. My boss must think I'm insane, leaving the meeting cool and confident, and returning to it a hot mess. After the very helpful replies I got from some of you about hypothyroidism, I intend to schedule an appt to talk with my doc about my low temperatures, as well as this more recent development. Sheesh, it's like trying to conduct a science experiment with all variables and no constants! This is not how science is supposed to work!!

post #98 of 459
Thread Starter 

I don't have to do anything different.  Pregnancy rates with one tube are not really different than rates with two tubes.  There's nothing to reduce ectopic rates, just early monitoring to catch another ectopic early.  I'm already planning to do fertility medication to try to get two eggs per cycle, so that will help in general.  I'd like to be pregnant soon, you know?

post #99 of 459

AF arrived today. I'm not totally surprised. Every month I think that maybe it will happen, but I have to be realistic. I'll be 45 in a couple weeks and my time may be done. I know so many of us think "what if"...it is hard for sure. Wishing good luck for everyone TTC. May our miracles happen!

post #100 of 459
Quote:
Originally Posted by LessTraveledBy View Post
So many of my friends seem to think that secondary infertility is unfortunate, but not a very big deal. You know, I should count my blessings (one child and tons of free time).

 

Yep.  And they seem sure that it can't be anything major, that I'll probably get pregnant next month, no big deal.  Yes, and also, good friends (!?!?!) saying how lucky I am to just have one - it's "so easy"... errrr.


 

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