Hello again everyone! Welcome poorlittlefish! So I've been pretty much MIA lately. That's because the scale won't budge, and sometimes it even tells me Im 112, although it goes in between 110 & 112, so I'm going to figure that's water. I just haven't been serious about it. It's like I hit 110, and that was fine -- but it's only fine when I'm fully dressed & not looking at myself :( I've been *reasonably* active. I've walked probably between 3 and 5 times/week. I raked leaves one day, with a 19 pound baby strapped on my back. There's housework, and much of the time, I've got that baby on me, either in the backpack or the snugli. I'm getting stronger, there's no doubt about that. I bought a shelving unit last week. You know, the cheap particle board type that are really heavy. The guy at the store put it in the truck for me and I had no idea how I was going to get it into the house alone. I had visions of opening up the package and carrying it in piece by piece. But I just hefted it up, no problem, brought it inside no problem.
I've also really been battling the sugar addiction & losing. I have a friend who's been a drinker for a long, long time & in the last few years has decided to quit. I've watched him repeatedly go into rehab, repeatedly come home, have a few good weeks and then start drinking again. And I think to myself, wtf? Why is he doing this to himself? He makes this big effort to not drink, goes through detox, etc, only to come back out and throw away all the work he's done. And then I looked at myself. I know for a fact that if I eat something sugary in the morning, I will feel awful by early afternoon. I will be shaking and weak, likely I will have a panic attack as well. It's not fun. But I do it anyway, even knowing that I'll pay for it later. I know it's not as bad as alcohol, but I realized the behaviours are not that different. So I'll take a page from AA and adopt their "one day at a time" philosophy. Today I'm not eating sugar. No chocolate for me. No jam (I made some delicious jam). No cereal with heaping spoonfuls of white death on it. For now, I'm just going to focus on the refined sugars. I know I should look at getting rid of white bread as well, but while I do this, I'm allowing myself free rein with the bagels. I know they kind of do the same thing to your insulin levels, but...The thing is, sugar and white bread makes me feel so good intially. Really, it feels like I'm doing something great for myself with those initial bites. But it's an illusion, something to do with serotonin, I think. So that's my resolution for the day! Good luck to all of you out there!