I'm right there with you, ladies. DS is 38 mos. DH pointed out that (a) he no longer nurses for comfort, but rather I nurse him to appease him, and (b) he is nursing on an intermittent reinforcement schedule (which is the BEST type of schedule to MAINTAIN a behavior - not what I want!). He nurses at bedtime and again at wake up ("morning" - when it is light out). He is SO demanding - won't let DH put him to bed anymore, and fusses/whines to nurse in the early am. Hits me when I say, "wait until morning." So, of course, when he hits, he doesn't get to nurse, but then we're back to the intermittent schedule.
I did night wean - and that helped things a lot. It took a while, and a lot of middle-of-the-night holding, walking, singing. But, we had lapses, when we were visiting relatives, for example, and his schedule was thrown, so I nursed him whenever he woke super-early in the morning (before daylight).
I introduced the conversation, "When you're big, you won't nurse anymore." and it went over like a lead balloon. "I not a big boy. I a baby." Everytime I tried to bring it up, he claimed he was a baby, or similar. So I backed off that tactic. But, I brought it up again in the car this morning, and he seemed ok with it.
"I'm a big boy like you and daddy." was his response this time.
We have DH's family visiting in 2 weeks, for a month. In his culture, children don't nurse beyond 2 (and typically not that long, either) because it is felt to soften the child, make him/her a mama's boy/girl and not receptive to discipline. It makes the family dynamic difficult. And, I have to admit, in some ways, this is becoming the case. (e.g. DS no longer wants DH to put him to bed at night, and is quite demanding/rude in the morning wrt nursing.) In some ways, I have to respect his culture in this, too.
For those of you who are going out of town - DH and DS got along FINE without me when I went out of town. (2-3 trips, the earliest and longest at 15 mos.) I probably should have used the latest trip (at 36 mos) as more of an opportunity to more firmly NOT nurse when I returned.