Subbing. What a great thread! I read the Aldort book and found it lacking in follow through.
I really like the Kurcinka books - all of them but the Power Stuggle one is my favorite - I found it even more helpful than the Spirited Child book.
"Playful Parenting" is excellent and my DD responds very well to this type of interaction, however, it is exhausting to use playfulness with her all the time. It did help me to branch out in ways of interacting playfully though and I think it really helped me to reconnect with DD. It makes a great companion to "Hold On To Your Kids" which is a very dense read and is more about philosophies of attachment than practical advice. There is some advice about how to reconnect in HOTYK but "Playful Parenting" really goes into it.
"How to Talk to Your Kids..." is also wonderful. It helped me learn to be quiet and not ask so many questions. And I also liked Dr. Greene's "The Explosive Child". I found the "How to Talk" book to be a great companion to the Explosive Child book because they suggest the same basic problem solving technique but I found it easier to follow the steps in the "How to Talk..." book.
Oh, and I am in the last stretch of reading "Emotional Intensity in the Gifted Student" which at first I found irritating and a bit overly simplified, but then I got to some really good questionaires and practical ideas so I think it's worth reading after all. She gives some guidelines about how to do family meetings we are going to try. We've tried to do family meetings in the past and have been met with much resistance so I'm looking for more ways to encourage DD to be involved. We always try to involve her in decisions which affect her, but often she refuses to participate. I'm hoping some ideas from "Emotional Intensity" will help us help her to be more of a team player.
I will definitely check out some of the others on this list. Thanks!