Overwhelmed, chronic depression.

[LiamsMommy]

I have been on meds for depression since i was about 19 and I am now 34. I have been on many different meds.  

I have two step daughters 8 & 11 and my son is 7 and baby girl is 13 months.

I don't know if I am even posting in the right place.

I feel so grouchy all the time.  ESPECIALLY to my DH.  I feel guilty but don't know how to stop it.  It seems like there is always a reason for me to irritated.  But really isn't just life?  Messy kitchen, kids and hubby never pick up after themselves, drives me crazy! 

I have little or no motivation to move or do anything and have to force myself to do anything.  Including getting dressed to for the day.

I have no interest in sex or my dh even touching me.  I feel indifferent towards him.  I feel really bad about it too but don't know how to change it. I think we have had sex maybe once or twice in last year.

I am breast feeding and I think that maybe killing my sex drive.  I have always had a pretty low drive anyway.

We are broke right now because I started my own business and it's slow and hubby is on disability. 

We are in middle of a nasty custody battle with the girls mom.

My in laws are my land lord and are mentally ill (hoarders) 

Our house is tiny 1100 sq feet and only one toleit. 3 bedrooms for 6 of us

I am overwhelmed with all the animals we have because I feel like even though the kids help I have to make sure they are all fed and watered. (4 cats, 2 dogs, 4 birds, a rabbit, a turtle)

So much needs to done around our 60 year old falling apart rental home it's a little embaressing.

Hubby starts projects and never finishes. 

Sigh....I am the biggest whiner or what?  We are all healthy and thanks to welfare we have food. 

[goodygumdrops]

I can relate to the no motivation, blah,blah, blah feeling.  I'm going through a bought right now and I'm just so unmotivated to do anything. 

I think it might be a good idea to prioritize a bit.  Your house sounds pretty hectic.  Personally, I would rehome some of those animals...whew..that's a lot of work.  I've had many animals during my life..at one point about the same as you and finally, I had to rehome them because it just was ridiculous that I was expending so much energy and irritation on them.  Also, money wise, if your strapped and your hubby's not working it might help mellow things out a bit. 

I hope things get better. 

[neveryoumindthere]

Wow, you have a *lot* going on there!! I think the hoarding alone would drive me nuts. Even if it's not my stuff, it's visual clutter, which definitely will keep you on edge.

There are a lot of changes to be made, what is your ABSOLUTE #1 priority. Something that will make the biggest difference to you *right now*.

If you can figure that out and take a few steps towards that, you will be more clearheaded and have a better idea what to tackle next.

Wish you the best, hun

*hugs*