Do you tell people that you're ttc?

[lovingmommyhood]

This is only our first month TTC so I really failed at holding out the news but, I told my best friend today that we're TTC and she completely blew me off. Like "Oh wow, that's exciting!" then she changed the subject. I'm not sure what I expected but when she was pregnant last year that's all we ever spoke about, so I guess somewhere deep down I expected her to indulge me for at least five minutes. 

So anyway, do you all share that news? I'm regretting it. 

[ValH]

I have only told my sister and one of my friends, and only because we all started TTC at the same time.  I had friends that had difficulty getting pregnant, and I saw how hard and emotional it was for them when everyone kept asking how the trying was going.  In hindsight, I'm very glad I didn't tell anyone, since we are going into our 12th cycle of trying. 

Good luck to you! 

[musicoholic]

Nope...  we haven't told anyone.  I don't think I couldn't handle the constant questioning...  There are only 2 people I would consider telling, and as much as I love them and they would only ask out of their own love and concern - if it takes too long, well, I'd rather it just be me and DH worrying about it.

Fingers crossed it doesn't take too long for any of us!!!

[toothfairy2be]

I've only told my mom and 2 friends, it took my sister 18 mos with 1 m/c, and 3 of my cousins m/c before having babies, so I'm hesitant to tell anyone anything until 12 weeks. Hopefully that 12 weeks has already started :) 2 more weeks...

[Attached2Elijah]

I have told 2 neighbors, one who is currently pregnant and one who is trying as well... Other then that, I have told no one. Mainly because a.) It took 2 years to get a bfp with my DD and I made the mistake of telling family with her... the constant questioning got old real quick when I couldn't give them the answer they wanted to hear... and b.) Pretty much everyone in both sides of our family think we SHOULD be done since *I* now have one of each gender and I should be happy with that. (DH has 2 of each gender) ... they don't understand why I would possibly want more, especially since we are not extremely well-off financially or anything... but I don't care! I want one (or 2) more babies, darn it. It's just easier not to tell them and let them think it was a "surprise" if it happens. :)

Edited by Attached2Elijah - 12/2/10 at 2:28am

[jenger]

I absolutely regret being so open about it - I didn't expect to have trouble cause my daughter was conceived so easily...

I live in a small town, and when I see people at the food co-op, the farmers market, birthday parties, etc.,  I used to think they were expecting something from me, noting if I had wine or not, etc.  Now it's sympathy, I think.  I had an acquaintance stop me at a big function to tell me she had trouble too - Nice I suppose, but the fact that everyone with a preschooler in our town knows is a little disconcerting.  I suppose it keeps them from asking when we're going to have another - maybe more painful...

[mayakas]

I didn't tell anyone but I have two not-too-close friends who told me they were ttc almost three years ago (none of us had kids then and dh and I were secretly ttc also).  But neither of them have had kids yet, while our dd is one-and-a-half now.  I feel bad for them but I don't want to ask.  But at the same time, they know that I know.  I feel guilty when they ask about dd because I know they would be great parents and totally deserve to have kids.  It's just caused some awkwardness in our friendship.  Of course if we were close friends/family I think it would be different.

[brennan]

My mom knows, my sister knows and my 2 best friends know.  Most people don't ask so I don't tell.  We've been trying for a long time...and my best friends never ask and my sister is also trying and so we commiserate together when we get a bfn 

[~~Sarah~~]

I only tell a small group of choice people. It's such a personal thing...

[Sourire]

I can't keep a secret at all so I have told almost everyone! So far I have not regretted it. I get asked for updates pretty often but it just gives me an excuse to talk about TTC, which I enjoy talking about.

[Peony]

I never tell, other then a very close friend for 1 pg.

[Stevi]

A few of my friends know, one distant relative, the donors, and whatever guy I happen to be dating. I figure it's sort of a "need to know" issue. LOL

I am not very close with my family and do not want to deal with the judgments I know will pour forth if they knew. My youngest brother knows about my first miscarriage, but I'm not sure he knows I'm still trying.

[Veronika01]

I told my SIL with my last baby when we started ttc.  Even though it only took 5 months to conceive, it was really annoying being asked how it was going after a while.  Now, I don't bother telling anyone. 

[HopefullyMama]

Maybe I'm in the minority here, but I don't mind people asking how it's going.  What I DO mind is when people who don't know that we're trying try to GET us to try....like "c'mon you guys should really start trying for a baby!  you'd be such good parents!".  I just kinda wanna scream when that happens.  

But most of my friends know.  And so far they've been excellent support for us; then again I'm a talker, and if I don't talk about things, I just obsess about them to myself which is soooo unhealthy for me.  DBF wants us to keep it a secret until at least 8 weeks (a compromise, he really wants it to be until 12 weeks lol), but I don't like to lie....sooo......dunno how I'm going to be able to avoid all these questioning people if/when I get pregnant.  

[Baby_Cakes]

My two best friends know. I'm so glad I never mentioned it to family bc it's taking much longer than I hoped.

[Sourire]

Originally Posted by HopefullyMama 

Maybe I'm in the minority here, but I don't mind people asking how it's going.  What I DO mind is when people who don't know that we're trying try to GET us to try....like "c'mon you guys should really start trying for a baby!  you'd be such good parents!".  I just kinda wanna scream when that happens.  

But most of my friends know.  And so far they've been excellent support for us; then again I'm a talker, and if I don't talk about things, I just obsess about them to myself which is soooo unhealthy for me.  DBF wants us to keep it a secret until at least 8 weeks (a compromise, he really wants it to be until 12 weeks lol), but I don't like to lie....sooo......dunno how I'm going to be able to avoid all these questioning people if/when I get pregnant.  

 Yes I feel exactly the same way! I would much rather be asked "how's the TTC going" than "when are you guys going to have kids"!

[toothfairy2be]

Originally Posted by Sourire 

Originally Posted by HopefullyMama 

Maybe I'm in the minority here, but I don't mind people asking how it's going.  What I DO mind is when people who don't know that we're trying try to GET us to try....like "c'mon you guys should really start trying for a baby!  you'd be such good parents!".  I just kinda wanna scream when that happens.  

But most of my friends know.  And so far they've been excellent support for us; then again I'm a talker, and if I don't talk about things, I just obsess about them to myself which is soooo unhealthy for me.  DBF wants us to keep it a secret until at least 8 weeks (a compromise, he really wants it to be until 12 weeks lol), but I don't like to lie....sooo......dunno how I'm going to be able to avoid all these questioning people if/when I get pregnant.  

 Yes I feel exactly the same way! I would much rather be asked "how's the TTC going" than "when are you guys going to have kids"!

I would much rather be asked how is TTC going, except that we haven't really told anyone... so we get the " when are you going to have kids" question ALL the time, and I just want to scream WE ARE TRYING! Give me a Break!!!

[urchin_grey]

I shared with a couple people but now I wish I hadn't because it somehow got back to my mom and then she begged me (via Facebook!) not to get pregnant.   She honestly thinks that we can't feed and clothe the one we have so she thinks we're being irresponsible for trying for another.  She is so ridiculous.  99% of our communication is online because they live 3 hours away so she has zero idea what our financial situation is like.  We're not by any means rich, but DS always has nice clothes and good food to eat, we have a roof over our heads, and our bills are paid on time.  So I don't know where she gets this crap.  I do REALLY hate where we are living, but as soon as my sister starts getting child support later this month, we can finally move. She and her DS live with us, so otherwise we'd either have to pick up her slack if we moved, or make her go live with our mom, dad, and two teenage sisters.   At the same time though, I'm not going to put my life (and my future babies) on hold simply because my sister's ex is a UAV.  That is just unfair to me, DP, and DS.  It sucks, but I'm fairly confident we'll be able to move well before I get anywhere near giving birth, which is good because I don't want to birth in this funky old place either. LOL

[Attached2Elijah]

Originally Posted by urchin_grey 

I shared with a couple people but now I wish I hadn't because it somehow got back to my mom and then she begged me (via Facebook!) not to get pregnant.   She honestly thinks that we can't feed and clothe the one we have so she thinks we're being irresponsible for trying for another.  She is so ridiculous.  99% of our communication is online because they live 3 hours away so she has zero idea what our financial situation is like.  We're not by any means rich, but DS always has nice clothes and good food to eat, we have a roof over our heads, and our bills are paid on time.  So I don't know where she gets this crap.  I do REALLY hate where we are living, but as soon as my sister starts getting child support later this month, we can finally move. She and her DS live with us, so otherwise we'd either have to pick up her slack if we moved, or make her go live with our mom, dad, and two teenage sisters.   At the same time though, I'm not going to put my life (and my future babies) on hold simply because my sister's ex is a UAV.  That is just unfair to me, DP, and DS.  It sucks, but I'm fairly confident we'll be able to move well before I get anywhere near giving birth, which is good because I don't want to birth in this funky old place either. LOL

Ohh do I ever sympathize with this. My father and step-mother already think I'm irresponsible because we had 2 and don't own our own home (we have a large 3 bedroom townhome though) ... apparently they think you can't raise children in *gasp* rented property. My kids have more room to run and play here then they would at a house... and I don't have to stress over everything that goes wrong with the place nor do I have to do yard work... I, personally, love renting. Sure, it's a pain not to be able to paint the walls and do my own carpet but honestly, that is not a big enough reason for me to buy a house, ya know?

My mother, however, thinks that because I have one of each gender, I shouldn't risk not being able to pay for another one. They think because we live in a one income household AND pay child support that we don't have enough money for any more children. I don't ask for ANYTHING so I don't know where she gets this... and personally, I don't care anymore. We want another baby. I am confident we can pay for it... and really, babies aren't that expensive. It's the older kids that are... but we'll done paying child support by the time my OLDEST child turns 12... so that's like a house payment PLUS that we aren't used to getting at ALL so... I'm confident we'll be just fine! :)

LOL, sorry... that got long. I guess I needed to vent. :P
 

[Abraisme]

I will tell people if they ask.  Most of my friends and close family have already asked because they all know that we plan on having more babies (and I'm 17mo pp).  Now whenever anyone asks I just blame the lack of pregnancy on breastfeeding and say it will happen eventually.  If so many people hadn't already known that we were going to have more babies I probably wouldn't have said anything.